Monday, April 07, 2014

To my brothers and sisters in comedy: My own struggles with depression, and the disappearance of the beautiful, smart, and funny Jiwon Lee.

Jiwon Lee has been missing since April 1. I had received texts from her reaching out after we hadn't spoken in years shortly before this happened. Yes this affects the way I feel right now.

I remember the first time that I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore.
When I was 13, the world came crashing down around me when I realized the realities of dating and boys and girls.


Our whole life we are sold ideas of disney princes, romantic movies, love, caring, and respectful partners.  So when I suddenly became popular at 13, I hooked up with a boy for the first time.  It was my first time getting played.  He didn’t care about me as a person.  He didn’t call me back.  He simply “got some” and I didn’t know what that meant.


I felt like I had been lied to.  I felt like adults were stupid and they fed us nothing but bullshit.  I felt that all the aspirational ideas about romance were complete crap.  I spent the next few years adapting to the realities of intimacy and accepting them.  But THEN at that moment, I felt the world was meaningless and I had nothing to look forward to.  I was listening to great music like Hole, NIN, Nirvana, Tori Amos watching MTV.  Melting things in my room.  I was in full on teen angst mode, wrote poetry, hung out with skateboarder kids.  And I remember being in my room, writing things like “Why god did you give us minds to think and hearts to feel if all you wanted to do was fuck us?”


What got me past it - even in that moment I felt NOTHING mattered - was that famous Dylan Thomas poem “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.” and to "rage against the dying of the light."  Even if I felt no light at the end of the tunnel, there was an underlying idea that you can’t go out without a fight, and that possibility of a spark exists.  And every time in my future that I revisited this feeling, this sentiment - DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOODNIGHT surfaced inside of me.


There have been other times in my life that I’ve revisited this deep meaninglessness and the times that stand out the strongest are the following:
- In 2004 when I was asked to repeat my first year of law school (C average meant failing on the bell curve) and a week later my boyfriend who I moved in with dumped me for another woman.  So at 23 I lost who I thought I was going to be career wise, and the man I thought I was going to marry.  I was young and had no sense of how much life I had ahead of me.  This was my deepest depression and most hopeless time.  I lost 30 pounds, even puked from sadness.  When I fantasized about offing myself it was specifically to jump in the hudson river.  I was unable to be productive, clean my dishes, or do anything.  I was crazy minded and volatile.  I was a complete total mess.
- In 2007 after 2 years of working in gay porn.  That’s right - after law school I found a fun job as head of a PR and marketing for a gay adult company and was a standup comedian.  It was actually a wonderful experience however 2 years into it, I hadn’t had enough success in comedy and felt like a failure.  I was afraid that my life revolved around empty, meaningless things and I had screwed it up.  I didn’t feel connected to my dreams and aspirations.  I remember being in Los Angeles and having a terrible time, wishing for better, and then a man I confided in ended up scaring me and thinking he was going to force himself on me sexually - which he got close to doing but I got out of the situation.  I remember sitting on the phone with my friend Dan from a Malibu hotel, him trying to console me.  Beauty feels shitty when you aren’t in the right place to enjoy it.
- Most recently in February of this year I felt this way for a bit.  This has happened periodically but not in big ways like mentioned earlier.  I felt like a failure for not achieving enough in comedy and film.  I was trying to write my feature film script and I didn’t have enough pages and I kept watching internet tv.  I struggle with aging, with losing my looks, with being single, with my family situation which is deeply sad since my dad suffered his stroke.


But I didn’t get like this in 2010 when my dad had his stroke.  There couldn’t be a single thought of suicide because I felt so deeply connected to my family and their needs and how insanely selfish it would be to do something like that.  Even though it’s the hardest, saddest thing I’ve ever been through, there was no thought of meaninglessness.  Every action felt so meaningful in the face of loss - even when painful.


Today I don’t feel this.  Why?  Well I just finished the first draft of my feature screenplay, and I’ve been working sound jobs more as I’m in the union, and learning new things, working on big fun fancy movies.  Both of those things are extremely rewarding and I feel connected to the things I want in life.


I know there’s one way out of depression and suicidal thoughts:
productivity
and
creativity.


Doing things, and using creative energies.


This could be in the form of being healthy: exercise.  Or doing activities, getting out, cleaning your room - or throwing yourself into your big ambitions and dreams.  When you’re really depressed it doesn’t matter that you KNOW getting up and doing good things will make you feel better.  You don’t have much of the capacity to do them.


Jiwon Lee has communicated to the world that she was depressed and lost feeling before going missing.  That leads us to assume that she is missing because of suicide, or because she was seeking meaning or entertainment - or SOMETHING - that led her to a dangerous situation.  Either way she gave her cry for help and now she is gone and hopefully not forever.


I’ve been connecting with others in the comedy community since Jiwon’s disappearance and we are shaken and confused.  


Do you have any idea how talented and capable you are?  My fellow comedians, we all keep chasing our dreams, exposing ourselves, opening up to sometimes dead rooms, competing against each other from time to time.


Sometimes we change our dreams and change our course but we will always be standup comedians inside.  Some of us have specials on Comedy Central.  Some of us end up on SNL.  Some of us end up in the suburbs with a family and miss the life  - and don’t realize how beautiful their new life is, and wonder if they were ever loved or appreciated in their old life.  


We are all dying to “get there”
We don’t often tell each other how much we admire each other.


I’m moved by realizing what our community is, that so often we are passing ships in a “scene.”  Night after night of shows and bullshitting and sharing and baring it all on stage and showing up at things.


Nobody can love everybody, or be there for everybody, or save everybody.

I’m taking a second to say, hey, you mean something to me, and I care about you.




More photos of Jiwon.

Friday, March 21, 2014

The truth about why I’m single.

I shouldn’t be writing this because I have to finish a script, but here it is:

I’d like to end up with someone I’m attracted to that has great qualities.
He's also going to have to like me back, and treat me properly, and want the same thing.
Haven’t found that yet.

Will remain picky because otherwise what is the fucking point?!
YES I’D RATHER BE PICKY AND BE ALONE.  It’s entirely valid to be this way.  It’s entirely valid to be alone!  (I mean.  As long as you have friends.  You should make sure to have friends and things that you do.  Like a life, ya know?)

How could a relationship possibly be good or worth my time if the guy doesn’t excite me or is simply marriage material?  I don’t understand that.  I’ve heard it happens.

I’d rather cry all alone in my room (as I do sometimes) than end up with someone for the sake of comfort or because it’s what people do.

I’m SINGLE
I’m 32

People judge this regularly and then the same people say OH IT’S OK YOU GO BE YOU!  YOU GO GIRL.  Friggin liars.

It makes them as afraid as it makes me.  

BUT it’s ok.  It has to be ok because it’s just the damn facts.  I can accept the fear, and even being lonely if those feelings creep up on me.  But NO SINGLE SHAMING.  There's nothing to be ASHAMED of.  It's JUST CIRCUMSTANCE.   I'm not settling bitches!  And quit peer pressuring other human beings to settle into shizz they don't really want either!!!  No I haven't gotten over the fact that I was pretty in high school and I still want to date the captain of the football team!  Well sort of, I just want him to be sexy and ambitious.

You all have the right to go after whatever you put out there.  If you are nice - you deserve someone nice.  If you are smart, then damn straight you deserve someone smart.  If you've got a great job, then yeah you deserve someone who has their ish together.  If you are hot - yep, you deserve someone hot.  It's not entitlement, it's earning it.  

I'm actually really quite picky to the point of being impossible sometimes (I don't think I could fall in love with a vegetarian, the hot tub is too hot), but that's my choice.  Like I said, I accept being alone if that's the way it has to be.

So.  I make money to support myself.  And oh do I have to support myself.  On my own through the hard times.  I have friends and family but yes there are ways in which an intimate partner would be great.

It just is what it is.  On the one hand let’s not bullshit ourselves with empowerment speak because I can’t stomach the “dance like no one’s watching” talk.

It's not BETTER to be single or BETTER to be married or in a relationship.  I'd say it is universally better to be in a great relationship that you want to be in.  It MIGHT be better to be in love, but sometimes being in love destroys you.  I do believe you should let yourself fall in love and get hurt a million times over because that's what truly living is - not running away from feeling and experiencing life's offerings.  I'd say it's the worst thing ever to be in a relationship that you don't want to be in.  So therefore in that respect, being single is a preferred choice, and it's my choice as I don't have the option to be in a great relationship at the moment.

What is great about being single is the privilege of selfishness and freedom.  Which is damn good for having adventures and doing whatever I want whenever I want and having time to focus on my stuff.  That is a really great thing, and extremely useful as I try to do big things.

The main thing is the question of faith.  Should one have FAITH in life working out as it’s meant to, and the right person coming when the time is right?  

I think so.  Life is too hilarious, dropping all kinds of meaning left and right as your story gets written.

It’s going to be alright, and there’s little one can do about it other than be as creative and productive as possible in their own life.  Oh and do what you believe is right and good.  Being kind is one of those surprise things that causes smiles which you can sometimes forget are so easily awesome.

Ok.  I’m going to go back to working on my script and not worry about getting ready for my boyfriend’s friend’s birthday party.  You go keep judging me for being single if you want. The internet has too many words in it as it is and I'd be hard-pressed to discover these ones got deep inside you.


Friday, February 28, 2014

New Video: GOOGLE COMES TO COLLECT



Nothing in life is truly free.  Would you like to update your information on Google Plus so that it can be shared within your circles?

CAST
Ann Carr
Will Janowitz

CREDITS
Writer/Director - Heather Fink
DP - Kevin Hayden
Editor - David Woolner
G + E - Derek Sexton Horani

Thursday, January 30, 2014

being a feminist can be about all kinds of things

I'm a feminist and proud.  I am definitely cool with the label.

Did you know we come in all different forms?

I'm not so into the women's groups that are all super serious and are all about serious films about sad people in sad situations.

I think there's equal importance in women being fucking awesome in the most visible ways possible.

I believe in social change and the acquisition of power by action and example.

So therefore, there is a social imperative for women to find it in themselves to be bold, powerful, funny, gangsta, sexual, interesting, and unpredictable.

I feel this is the most affective way for us to be what we want and what the world needs us to be.

Make the world a better place not with guilt and focusing on suffering and what's wrong in the world, but in embracing that which is right, and making it moreso.  And then spreading it around.

nothing but pure pleasure comes from cinema when it features strong female heroes

keep it up B

I'M READY FOR HILLARY

Zoom zoom Earheart

Fucking TELL IT Anita

Can't even handle this one.  IDOL

female power comes in many forms and I don't hate on a babe with smarts (just look at the power in her eyes!  she nukes empty vacant stares with what's she's got going on in there!)

and this one was hilarious and intelligent and a true comedian though she's not always appreciated for that

google carol bartz (notice i said da verb google. nerd joke!)

I just want you to tell me what to do please.

Hedy Lamarr invented early technologies that make your bluetooth and iphone possible.  And is babe.


and THIS ONE is some kind of goddess sent from the heavens - have you seen what she's doing with "smart girls"  fuggedaboutit

Ok that's all you get for now.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

what am I doin

if you are asking what am I doin?

here's the answer to what I'm doin:
- working on a new feature script that I can also direct, that will also be less expensive to shoot (fewer locations, fewer characters, etc) this would be my thesis film for NYU Grad ... so I can git that MFA already.  We have a few years after classes are over to work on our thesis projects and I've been out 2 years almost ...
- working sound to pay the bills, which I do enjoy, though it's slow season aka writing season at the moment
- developing a new sitcom idea that I'd like to package and shoot a short promo for
- shooting comedy shorts that I come up with from time to time because doing that keeps me going
- learning Dutch as I barely know it, I'm finally buckling down and taking classes so I can actually really know how to speak it, and perhaps work in film there as well

what are you doin

Friday, December 27, 2013

Apologies to relatives and delicate people. But. I MUST SAY FUCK AND SHIT:

I don't even know how to write about my fantastic discovery.

I've been thinking and feeling it for most of this year, and ALMOST writing about it.

Time to just get it out before the year ends.

I found out that life isn't about all the stuff I thought it was about.  I really really thought it was about that stuff.

Life is not about career success, finding "the one," having a baby, having a cool house or apartment, having a healthy bank account, or finally making it.

For so many years of my life, watching people end up with amazing boyfriends, have weddings, get amazing jobs, get famous - used to make me feel inferior, like a loser.  Like a sad, pathetic loser.  I have gotten really very very depressed thinking it was about that stuff, among other reasons.

I am single, no baby, an unhealthy bank account rife with student loan debt, and I am not powerful in my career level, nor have I made it.

But my life is FUCKING AWESOME.

Are you fucking kidding me this shit is for real?

I'm also 32 - you would think that is some bullshit age if you are younger - but my life is fucking cool so why should I care?!

I have been feeling nothing but grateful and excited for a while now and I don't give a fuuuuuhhhkk about an awful lot I used to care about.  It's so liberating to discover this truth.

This year I have traveled to the glorious mountains of Park City Utah, North Carolina, Amsterdam and the Netherlands, Berlin, Cannes and the south of France, Santa Fe and New Mexico, South Beach Miami, Dubai and Abu Dhabi, and am about to fly off to Iceland in 2 days.  Before that I was in Los Angeles, Vietnam, and have traveled to Israel, Tulum Mexico, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, Spain, Italy and Cinque Terra, Thailand, Belgium, San Diego ... this shit IS fucking awesome.

You think I am bragging?  Fuck no.  Get out of your fucking house and do some shit.  I am not rich I just find a way to make shit happen.

And guess what else is awesome?
I know a lot of shit.
That's right, I've learned all this stuff over the years.  And I know HOW to do all kinds of stuff.
Knowledge is power!

Bragging?  Go learn how to do cool shit too.  Your CPU is a neural net processor.  A learning computer.

And I really like my friends.  I really love my friends.  They are fucking cool and unique and I love them.

And my family is loving and warm and I have them.

How fucking great is that shit?

You think I am bragging?  Fuck you!  Stop being a dick and be nice to people and generous and fun and shit and get out of the house and meet people.

Granted too there's a shit ton of tragedy and misfortune in my family, from recent to decades past.
And also there have been lost friendships and fights and shitty times.

But fuck it I'm RICH!
I know stuff and I do cool stuff.  THAT IS THE FUCKING JAM RIGHT THERE.

And as for boys?  Ah fuck those jerks.  They have been jerks but they've been great some times and I love my adventures and who fucking knows what comes next.  Kiss em, yell at am, text them weird stuff.  Whatever it's all great in the end.

Whatever the facts of your circumstance are FUCK judging yourself for it.
Be hungry for the life you want.

BUT RUB THAT SWEET FULL TUMMY AND ENJOY WHAT YOU HAVE!

Like I said.

This shit is awesome.  My life has not turned out at all the way I tried for it to.
But it's fucking cool guys.

I'm grateful as fuck.
My life is awesome and fun and I'm thankful.

FUCK YES!
I MUST SAY FUCK AND SHIT WHEN SHIT IS THIS FUCKING AWESOME.


Epilogue:
I didn't always feel this way.  Maybe you don't feel this way.  But maybe someday you will feel this way too, and it won't be because of at the shit you obsess over today.  It will be because of unexpected magic shit life has in store for you that you never saw coming.

On Confidence, and then also, On Red Bottom Shoes

I’m comfortable with myself.  Why?  Because I know I’m human and it’s illogical to feel shameful about most thoughts and actions which are in all probability entirely natural.

I certainly believe most people should just get over stupid hangups and fears and anxieties and get out and live.  I’m sure this isn’t easy for everyone but really

Confidence is a matter of logic.

I don’t think I’m so different from everyone, and therefore it is also true that it’s not possible for people to be better than me, or worse than me.  We are all human.  There are assholes and angels but no person is categorically superior or inferior than another.

Do you think there’s people out there who are so much cooler than you, with more access and exclusivity?  Well the super rich and famous can be totally insecure, and have not had access to the more ordinary, risky, dirty life.  And those with access to the more ordinary, risky, or dirty imagine that richness is exclusive and special and so they buy brand name things.


I recently read an article about the day in the life of an IT GIRL and I thought she was a dork and I knew cooler stuff to do than she did.  And who the F am I?  Nobody? Somebody?  Yes, I'm just some lady.


Why is the boss the boss?  Why would I believe they are inherently more important or superior than I?  Certainly the only thing that can set most people apart is experience - but as for innate ability I have little reason to believe that I can't get where I want to be compared to someone else.  There's only a few places in life where talent sets us apart - the actual creative arts, sports. 

People have all kinds of hangups, sexually, with their careers, with whatever stupid nonsense they tell themselves is in the way.

It’s illogical.

You’re JUST HUMAN.

Being human is also magnificent but at the end of the day,
we all go pee pee and should be flossing our teeth.

And in conclusion furthermore also I really don't understand why anyone would buy weirdly expensive handbags or shoes.  Dubai.  Nouveau riche.  Bad taste.  Money hemorrhage.

Now we have moved on to an entirely new topic.

There's rich people with good taste, and then rich people who look like the bile of a high end shopping mall.  A conveyor belt of similar hair, skin, shoes, and bags.

The sadness the heart feels
seeing money wasted

That's what you look like walking down the street, bad taste rich person.  Not sexy.  But like broken dreams, starving children, and failed kickstarter attempts ...

Your Louie Vuitton bag a corpse of hope

Sunday, December 08, 2013

Away Message

Hi internet

I will be in Abu Dhabi and Dubai Dec 9-22

and also in Iceland Dec 28 - Jan 7

NO PHONE CALLS

only emails

NO!  I SAID NO!

NEW VIDEO - Superior Biscuits - Bahlsen Cookies :30 Spec Commercial


CLICK TO WATCH ON YOUTUBE
Bahlsen brand biscuits are superior for eating.  It is recommended that if you are interested in eating a cookie that you eat a Bahlsen brand biscuit.

Writer/Director:  Heather Fink
Actor/Cookie Eater: Trevor Williams
German Voice Over: Jedidjah Oldenburg
Camera/DP: James Schlittenhart
Editor: Nicole Michaelis
Producer: Brian Blum
AD: Devin Shepherd
Sound: Eric Au

This has been a spec commercial by Heather Fink because she wants to be hired to direct real commercials.  Please consider her and the talented people with whom she has collaborated for their respective talents.

==========
TEXT
Bahlsen brand premium biscuits are super biscuits suitable for eating. They possess a superior flavor to other biscuits and this is an excellent quality for a biscuit to have.
We recommend that if you are considering to eat a biscuit that you are sure to consider eating a Bahlsen biscuit, we do not believe that you will regret this decision.

Kekse der Marke Bahlsen sind ideal zum Verzehr geeignet. Sie verfügen über einen ausgezeichneteren Geschmack als andere Kekse und erreichen dadurch einen hohen Qualitätsvorsprung.  Wir empfehlen, daß Sie vor dem Verzehr von Keksen in Erwägung ziehen, die Kekse der Marke Bahlsen zu wählen und wir sind der festen Überzeugung, daß Sie diese Entscheidung nicht bereuen werden.

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

NEW VIDEO: Parking Space - I Want You, A Love Song



Lyrics and Video Directed by - Heather Fink
Performance by/Male Singer - Jack Mulcahy

MUSIC
Music By/Music Producer - Curt Dumas
Recording/Mixing - Myles Rodenhouse
Guitar - Mossimo Sammi
Soprano Sax - Livio Almedia
Drums - Steven Helms
Bass - James DiGirolamo
Mastered by - Jake Rodenhouse
Additional Lyrics by - Jack Mulcahy

VIDEO
D.P./Camera - James Schlittenhart
Producer - Brian Blum
Assistant Director - Devin Sheperd
Make-Up - Jessica Mellow
Art Design - Michelle Carl, Eric Grossman
PAs - Nick Assardo, Dylan Brown

Editor - David Woolner

Filmed in Greenpoint, Brooklyn

www.heatherfink.com

LYRICS
Mmm, damn, you look good to me parking space
Just a few more inches makes all the difference

There's enough room, I don't even have to parallel
I don't want no hydrants, no street cleanin' or parking meters

I just want a nice big free parking space
And baby, it's you, and baby it's you

I just want to pull into you, there's no one behind me
I'm nice and close to my destination, parking space

Mmm I want you, mmm and what am I gonna do when I find you parking space
I tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna put my car in you

Yellow curb, yellow curb, be regular curb
No garage doors, no space in back, no, it's front row or nothing

I just want a nice big free parking space,
And baby, it's you, and baby it's you

I just want to pull into you, I don't even have to park right now
But looking at you, makes me want to, parking space
I want you

Just a few more inches, all the difference
Just a few more inches
(repeat)

I just want a nice big free parking space
And baby, it's you, and baby it's you

I just want a parking space, oh, and baby it's you
I just want a parking space, oh
Pull in you, park in you
(grunt)

I just want a parking space, yeah
And baby, it's you
A mother f**kin' parking spot, oh
How many times I gotta circle this block, bitch

I just want a f**kin' parking space

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The only reparation I would accept is for Gavin McInnes to be pooped on.

There's this man named Gavin McInnes and he co-founded Vice, a media monster which I like sometimes.  Vice employs a lot of people and it's likely that Gavin has money and power after his Vice success and he says things.  As we all know, not all people with money and power are also good people.  In this case, Gavin McInnes just shit out of his mouth in a really big way, and so now I have one simple demand:

GAVIN MCINNES MUST BE POOPED ON.

Here's how it should go down:
1.  Sit Gavin in front of a camera.  He loves the camera so this part he will be all about.  He might say some smug ironic things that make us think he's super cool.  But don't be distracted.  It's POOPING TIME!!!

2.  Poop on him.  Anything goes here as far as getting the poop onto Gavin.  If you feel comfortable popping a squat and pooping out of your butt onto him, that's totally cool.  If that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to bring your own poo in some kind of container, human or find some dog poo, that will work too.  Runny is good because it will have maximum spread.  Gross but we are goal oriented here, and the goal is to cover Gavin McInnes in poop.

3.  Gavin says "I'm sorry!"  He probably won't say I'm sorry because inside of his mind is a mess of stuff like dogs sucking each other off and what cheese he is gonna buy at the Bedford Cheese shop to provide for his family.  It's really hard for him to get past those thoughts enough to form meaningful phrases and then say them.  BUT if he does say "I'm sorry!" while being pooped on, it would help us all to heal from his hurtful words.


Here's what he said and why he needs to be pooped on:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/21/gavin-mcinnes-women-workplace_n_4138741.html

OF COURSE I have an argument about why what he said is wrong and hurtful.  I have inner strength, toughness, and ambition in life beyond STAYING AT FUCKING HOME AND DOING WHAT?  PUTTING MOISTURIZING LOTION ON MYSELF AND SHIT?  What the fuck am I supposed to do at home?!

Women are naturally TOUGH AS FUCK.  Have you even ever MET women?

NEVERMIND GAVIN YOU ARE RIGHT, LET'S SEND ALL THOSE MISERABLE WOMEN HOME FROM WORK.  HERE'S A PARTIAL LIST OF WOMEN WHO SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME:
- Amy Poehler
- Hedy Lamarr
- Sarah Silverman
- Lucille Ball
- Hillary Clinton
- Diana Nyad
- Oprah
- Martha Stewart
- Debbie Harry
- Kim Gordon
- Frida Kahlo
- Carol Bartz

MY MOM.
MY AWESOME MOM who CANNOT STAND the idea of not working because she likes to leave the house and be a part of the world and is smart and hardworking.

DAMMIT GAVIN WHY
WHY WHY WHY

You fucker - you don't know what it's like to be told just based on your demographic that you naturally suck at something.  YES IT IS DAMN HARDER IN THIS WORLD FOR US WOMYN FOLK.  THERE IS NO "CHOICE" WHERE YOU JUST TURN OFF YOUR BRAIN AND WANT TO STAY HOME AND MAKE TACOS AND PUT IN YOUR TAMPONS.

NEWS:  Women have minds and hearts n shit like that.  We have desires and ambition.  We have inner drive and passion to use and apply those things.  We are ALSO human beings JUST LIKE YOU WITH THE PENIS.

Gavin please allow me the opportunity to show you how tough and how driven I really am.

GAVIN MCINNES MUST BE POOPED ON.

Friday, October 11, 2013

New Video: PBR Spec Commercial



Here's my newest video - a PBR spec commercial.
I made this because I would like to direct (and write) comedy commercials and I wanted to make something that felt more mainstream.

Afterthoughts:  I love the performances and am happy overall, but the truth is I'm sad about the budget restrictions.  This commercial would be much better with a higher art budget, especially with the fun of the old timey world's fair.  And it would look great if it wasn't shot on DLSR.  To be honest I'm really sick of the look from those cameras, and especially with commercial/period you want to shoot on film or a better camera like Alexa or Red.   I do feel the team who contributed did the very best with our restrictions!  I owe a ton of thanks for their talent and hard work.

My 2 previous spec commercials:
- Chevy
- Ehrmann yogurt

PBR COMMERCIAL CREDITS
Cast:
Judges - Trevor Williams and Jacqueline Novak
Contestants (in order of appearance) - Greg Barris, Sarah-Violet Bliss, Temesgen Tocruray, Channing Pickett, and Mark Normand
Hipster - Jordan Brown

Writer/Director - Heather Fink
Producer - Brian Blum
DP - James Schlittenhart
AD - Devin Sheperd
Sound - Eric Au
Art Director - Michelle Carl
Art - Eric Grossman
HMU - Jessica Mellow
Assoc Producer - Daven Falconer
PA - Nick Assardo
PA - Dylan Brown

Editor - Steve Pristin

Shot on Location at
Broken Land Bar
and
McGolrick Park
in Greenpoint Brooklyn

Santa Fe Film Festival Screenings

The Santa Fe Independent Film Festival will be showing not 1, but 2 of my comedy short films next week!

Times and Information Here

Both my films Alleged and Heart Break will screen at the festival which takes place Oct 16-20 in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  I will be there exploring deserts and mountains and the like.


Sunday, September 01, 2013

This thing with Miley Cyrus is REALLY important. SERIOUSLY.

YOU FUCKERS OUT THERE ON THE INTERNET ARE FIGHTING AGAINST A YOUNG LADY'S RIGHT TO PARTY.  AND BE SILLY.  AND YOU BETTER CUT THIS SHIT OUT ASAP.

YOU ARE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING.  

Really now people?!  Are you that idiotic and conservative?  We have been down this road a hundred times over.

I'm a proud ass feminist and I support a woman's right to KICK ASS and not have a bunch of pansy ass "news" people nag and judge and run their mouths about what a woman does ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE IS ACTING OUT IN THE NAME OF FUN TIMES.



People got all pissed and upset over Madonna's brilliant "Like a Prayer" video back in 1990.  
Looking back on it doesn't that seem stupid?  When you read the wikipedia behind the song and the video, isn't it incredibly interesting.  Don't you wonder now looking back on it what the big deal was?  Some bra straps?  SERIOUSLY?!  (note, Madonna has performed in sexually provocative ways on the MTV VMA's many many many times over and people got really upset over it then too and her endorsement deals were pulled)

Sidenote:
How is twerking a THING?  TO me that is just normal dancing.

No, Miley Cyrus did NOT make some big political or artistic statement.
She danced around with goofy bears and stuck out her tongue and moved in sexually provocative ways and wore a nude colored latex bikini that looked really super hot on her.
No she doesn't look like a  raw chicken - she looks fucking great - you guys are assholes for talking about this girl's bitchin bod literally like a piece of meat.  Freakin cannibal cops all of you.

Understand this:
When you are a hot young girl it's fun to dance around and feel like a total babe.
Miley's dance and tongue stuff is just her generation's idea of cool.  Chill out old farts.

You are all a bunch of grown up people seriously talking endlessly about some 20 year old girl pop star dancing around sexually on stage at the MTV VMA awards.

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE SHOCKED?!
HOW!?

THIS SHIT IS ENTIRELY PAR FOR THE COURSE.
AT LEAST THE SONG IS FUN
AT LEAST THE GIRL IS SMILING AND HAVING FUN

WHY SO MUCH HATE
YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL HIPPY HIPSTER ASSHOLES GO AROUND WITH YOUR DAMN LATTES ACTING LIKE YOU ARE MATURE WITH YOUR HOLISTIC THERAPISTS AND ARTISAN LEATHER SATCHELS N SHIT BUT NOW YOU ARE GONNA GET 
UPPITY
OVER
THIS FUN RANDOM WHATEVER DANCE?!

YOU WILL LOOK BACK ON THIS IN A FEW YEARS AND WONDER WHAT THE BIG DEAL WAS.

ALSO.
I SUPPORT FUN
AND PARTYING
AND BEING SILLY.

MILEY CYRUS EMBODIED THIS IN HER VMA PERFORMANCE.
I do not expect eloquence or meaning from a Miley Cyrus performance.
I do not buy that Lady Gaga's performance is intellectual or elevated in any way.
I do buy that Madonna has used sexuality in really interesting ways in her music and performance.
I think that Britney Spears is empty fluff and she has used sexuality in ways that are neither elevated nor as celebratory of fun and partying as Miley.

It's not a bad thing.
Let the girls be silly.
Let the girls be gross.
Leave the damn girls alone.

AND FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY.

HERE IS DIANE MARTEL'S BRILLIANT MUSIC VIDEO FOR THE SONG:



Diane also agrees with me.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill


Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill is a Europe-exclusive video game for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System and the Sega Genesis.

The game stars Socks, the pet cat of 42nd US President Bill Clinton, and his family, in a platforming adventure in which he has to make his way past spies, crooked politicians and the media to warn the White House of a stolen nuclear missile.







SOCKS THE CAT SITS ON TOP OF PEOPLE.  SOCKS THE CAT SITS ON TOP OF THE PRESIDENT.  HE IS SO FUCKING BALLER.  R.I.P. SOCKS 4EVA