Write Up in Dan's Papers

Hey dudes,

Here's an article about me and my film "http 404"

Thanks Dan's Papers :)

And PS - the show the mentioned that I loved from The State was called Stella.  I started going to see them live in 1997.  I never even got carded and I was totally friggin young.  It was awesome.

What was also awesome was witnessing some of the most incredible talent in a variety show on a live stage.  Pre-youtube they made the most hilarious low budget comedy shorts and they were made just for the live show.  Later on they made DVDs they would sell at the show and it was a treasure to get your hands on one.  Now it's all online.  Those guys are probably the most influential on me and my comedy hopes and dreams.  Here's my blog shoutout thank you for all the memories and inspiration!  I've even had the delight of having Michael Showalter as a screenwriting teacher, and Kevin Allison as an actor in one of my shorts.  Happy as a clam about that.  I LOVE CLAMS.  Clams are my friends and we go running together.

award award

I ALREADY loved my cast:
Caitlin McHugh,
Jack Mulcahy,
Amanda Bjerre-Petersen, and
Katina Corrao

for their work in my film "Alleged"
and the First Run Festival loves them too!

We were awarded with BEST ENSEMBLE ACTING

as well as a Commendation for EXCELLENCE IN COMEDY.

I really enjoyed the validation and appreciation felt in receiving the award, in spite of the popular notion that film awards are threatening forces capable of bodily harm.

Updates

ALLEGED SCREENING

You can see a screening of "Alleged" - a short comedy thriller based on a real court case against Steven Seagal, on Friday April 5th at 5:30pm, at the Cantor Film Center in NYC - 36 E 8th St.
Click Here for details

EUROTRIP

April 18- May 8 in the Netherlands/Amsterdam
May 8-May 15 in Berlin
May 15- May 26 Cannes Film Festival

HTTP 404

Still working on that.  Email info@404movie.com if you want to help out or know more.

SOUND

Yep.  See below.

MARCH MADNESS

Just in case you didn't know

I'm spending all my time trying to make my first feature film:
"http 404"

I've just moved target shoot dates from June to September 2013 - shooting in NYC and the Hamptons/Montauk!

And then the other thing I do a lot of these days is work on film shoots as a Sound person. Aka sound mixer, location sound, sound.

I don't edit sound on computers. I arrive at film shoots and place microphones in strategic places and record the sound - for example, I'll put microphones on actors and record the words they say. This means I touch a lot of famous actresses in their bra area. It's only weird if you make it weird. Or if the actress is a diva and yells at you. Or if it's an actor who is really hairy. That's difficult. Usually I can hear their chest hair rubbing up against my microphone and I have to poke at the actor and move it around and then they get annoyed with me for poking at them and they simply don't understand my dedication to details.

I recently purchased a 664
if you don't know anything about it, the 664 is the new hot slut of the sound world.

People are so excited about this machine, they are saying it's the messiah of all rectangular boxes that mix and record, and that if you use it, you'll wet your underpants in the best way possible.

I believed the hype, and after 2 years of owning a 702/fp33 as my starter kit - I irresponsibly placed the 664 and $1k in accessories (bag, battery, cables) on my credit card.

My credit card loves being used like this and it knows it sets my heart afflutter among the roar of my student loan debt and lack of savings.

But we are all smiles,
because I'm a big winner with big phat juicy flame broiled dreams
and it's all going to be worth it in the end.

CURRENT EVENTS: The Movie! by Heather Fink

Note: I did stand up at the "Camp Sunshine" show last night after being on a standup hiatus. I decided I wanted to do something new, and since comedy audiences love current events, and I'm better at writing scenes these days, I decided to write "Current Events: the movie!" and share it with the audience.

This year Hollywood decides last minute to have the oscars on a luxurious cruise ship to let the American people know that the Cruise industry is back - and better than ever

Before the event starts, the nominees are treated to a pre-oscars dinner which includes a delicious 5 course superblasted Horse-Meat meal by Guy Fieri, who will be played by Michael Cera in the upcoming Guy Fieri bio-pic
and following Oscar’s tradition of glamour and opulance, Mark Rubio will be on hand to personally replenish everyone’s water supply.

During the meal all of the business people from hollywood talk “Lincoln talk” and they come up with new Lincoln things, the CW puts everyone to shame with their cutting edge “Lincoln Diaries” where Lincoln is a teen in modern day upper society NYC going through the trials and tribulations of puberty and dating.

Finally the show begins, and the red carpet is spectacular
Not one to be outdone, Jennifer Lopez wears a dress made of Katy Perry’s Grammy Cleavage and Kate Upton’s swimsuit cleavage which, when combined, allows her to levitate 1 foot off the ground. Let me tell you the dress looks so amazing on her, it’s clear J Lo has made a comeback.

And because his Publicist wants to revamp his image, Blade Runner Oscar Pistorius blades down the red carpet in a striking yet bold classic Hugo Boss navy suit, and hair by Oribe
and because of his presense, nobody at the Oscars dares to use the bathroom this year

The Pope also struts his stuff on the red carpet, as he prepares for his post papal years he has much networking to do - lucky for the Pope - he’s offered a part in the new Expendibles movie, which he turns down because he’s holding out for the dad character on “Lincoln Diaries”

Seth MacFarlane opens up the show wearing a helmet made up of the newly discovered skeletal reconstruction of King Richard the 3rd - which he’s wearing for his truly hilarious Harlem Shake number featuring Seth surrounded by animated Family Guy characters - and let me tell you, Hollywood LOVES it. This is THE opening act that will be talked about for years to come.

At this point many of the celebs and beautiful people have peed all over all their seats because they were holding it in, so the acrid smell of urine permeates the air.

Now it’s time for the first award. Lena Dunham wins best Sound Editing for “Skyfall” which is considered a big upset for Hollywood sound editing maintstays like Wylie Stateman and Eugene Gearty.

Suddenly, a meteor blasts through the sky, and meteor rocks injure several oscar nominees and audience members, including Daniel Day Lewis who bursts into flames thus ending a brilliant and prolific career.

The only person left completely unscathed is Jennifer Lopez, protected by the magical busoms of Katy Perry and Kate Upton - who in that very moment realize that their names: Kate and Katy - are ALMOST the same and they become BREAST friends for life!

The bloodied, but defiant Alec Baldwin makes his way to the stage to present the next award - on the way he steps over Quentin Tarantino, whose arm is on fire. Tarantino grabs Baldwin’s pant leg with his other arm and whispers “Hey, I heard what you said to that NY Post reporter. We should collaborate on a screenplay some time.”

And now, it’s time to announce the winner of Best Picture. The award goes to: Beyonce, for Beyonce.

As Beyonce steps through the injured crowd to receive her award, (she looks amazing by way) the stage is rushed by none other LAPD sniper Chris Donnor, who everyone thought had died, but actually faked his death just for this moment.

Donnor approaches the stage and announces “The UCB theatre should pay it’s performers.”

Beyonce goes into Sasha Feirce mode and snaps the evil fugitive Donnor’s head off with her thighs.

Beyonce then asks Alec Baldwin, “What’s UCB?”

Alec replies “My dear Beyonce, I owe the UCB my career. Back when my brothers and I were young and extremely sexy, we teleported to the future and underwent improv training. After our poorly attended 301 show, we were sent back in time, and moments later I received my first big break on Knots Landing.”

At that moment Alec Baldwin realized Beyonce had stopped listening and walked away. She joined the more able bodied celebs - who were on their way to the Vanity Fair party - by fashioning lifeboats out of their giftbag goodies which included Moroccan Argan oil, Sea Snax, and a new line of Polystyrene Foam flats created by Christoph Waltz’s new Home Depot Collection: “Home” by Christoph

Alec was left alone in a sea of bodies, the stench of blood and PeePee in the air, surrounded by the sound of moans from those whose flesh was burning, and Alec pondered the events of his life in the face of an evening that would forever change Hollywood.

He closed the show with a reprise of the Harlem Shake, but THIS TIME, when the base dropped, there were no dancers to back him up.

THE END!

Follow up post Girls viewing: Lena Dunham opinion sharing Part 2 - Will people think that I'm copying Lena Dunham?

My stance on Lena Dunham has been updated - Following watching almost all episodes of Girls.

Girls is awesome holy crap. (SURPRISE, YOU SAW THIS COMING BUT THE TRUTH IS UNDENIABLE)
I can't believe anyone's gotten that close to that version of reality I am so familiar with - so much more remarkably familiar with than anything I've ever seen.
As a director, it is not easy to pull off something that comes across so effortlessly.
I wonder what my parents would think of that show. Would it scare the shit out of them that my life is anything like that or would they be cool with it?
And then I wonder about that mirror the show's creating for me.

I already do write in a similar style to Dunham.

Now that the show "Girls" exists,
and I'm a female
and a comedy writer/director
who lives in Greenpoint
and I also have a sexy tall psychopath in my life named Adam

will people think I'm copying Lena Dunham?

I REALLY HOPE THAT
it's just a sign that we are listening to women in new way, for the first time
and that HEY
we aren't all Lena Dunham or Lena Dunham copiers

I suspect other women feel this way too ...
as women maybe there's a similar quality to our voices
that isn't the same voice as men?

It's really fucking awesome that everyone likes what she's doing.
That means people
like
and respect
or at least empathize with
our people.

Do you fucking know how long I've been waiting for women to get the kind of respect "Girls" is giving to women in general?

It's just so fucking awesome to show something that more accurately represents the female brain ... although the Heather version would have some marked differences. I mean. My attitudes towards sexuality, science fiction, comic books, and reeboks for one.
We are different people.

And don't be thwarted by the Dunham haters. Mo haters means mo discussion and long lasting social relevance. It means you've struck a nerve.

Also. I know Lena Dunham would understand the epidemic of Lena Dunham jealousy previously discussed because I watched the episode where Lena was annoyed about Jenny Slate's character's book success. She gets it.

I live inside of a world like this.

and PS
Lena Dunham isn't racist.
She's sheltered.
It's probably her honest truth she doesn't know many black people.
Personally I hate the whitewashing I see in films and tv and I definitely don't write so white. But I don't think this comes from a hateful place. I think it comes from a sheltered place. And yeah, I do think now that she realizes the gross absence of diversity on her show, she's got to change that. And she is changing it, because she knows you're right and learned an important, and embarrassing, lesson.

I'd like to see Comedy Central give as much of a shit about women in their programming as HBO and Dunham are caring about rectifying the diversity problem on Girls.

My official position on Lena Dunham

Jealous.

I mean holy crap - look at her go! She's got movies and tv shows and Judd Apatow works for her, and she does whatever the fuck she wants! And people like it! She might be the MOST enviable person the world has seen in years. I BET you are jealous too - Lena Dunham jealous even strikes the already famous people!

And then I get mad because she was born rich and privileged and then got people to give her really big opportunities and big breaks when she was super young and she didn't have to sweat and bleed to earn it. Not fair!

I'm not rich. Well actually no that's not fair. I'm definitely more privileged than starving kids in starvation places and have much to be grateful for. But let's just say I wasn't born into any advantages in this industry, and I've had an very intense underdog streak that involved punishments from teachers that I like to talking to my therapist about. I'm still underdog streaking. I'd like to win. All the losses are character building and adding up to ONE BIG SUPERMASSIVE PAYOFF! Right? Right yes don't off yourself.

Now -
I've barely seen the show. I don't have cable and can't seem to download episodes. I've got to get my hands on dvds. I've seen the pilot and didn't like it cause of all the privileged bitches and non-problems but I feel like it's still probably totally good. Everybody says so. I actually took time and watched every clip and scene HBO put out there and I liked all of them a lot. Seriously funny and well executed. I have a feeling the show is great and she does good work.

Exhibit A:

Furthermore -
Part of my life's mission is to foster a universe that respects women - ultimately bringing us closer to world peace and reducing violence against women. And an essential way to get there is to humanize women in society and see them as funny, capable, real, and whole beings instead of rapeable fuckholes that can make brownies.

And Lena Dunham is a good writer and director
And Lena Dunham is a girl, whose body isn't anorexic or plastic cause she's not obsessed with fitting the mold
And Lena Dunham shares the same ideals as I in film with regards to realism, humor in the small truthful moments, and throwing shame out the window
And people are listening to Lena Dunham. And they like and respect it. And they are laughing.

So - I wanted Amy Poehler, the absurdly talented remarkable hilarious comedy actress she is to win the acting award that Lena got. She's so fantastic and groundbreaking and generous and hardworking and deserves it. She's a Hillary. And she never gets to win.

But Lena got it.

Lena is doing all good things.
She is doing them well.

God bless her for that.
She is making a difference in the perception of women amongst our culture. We need more of it in an endless storm of female comedy competency. That's what I want. Storm! Blam Blam Blam so many amazing women doing comedy that the ARTICLES WILL STOP TALKING ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT WOMEN ARE FUNNY. Because for fuck's sake it's OBVIOUS. Everybody knows some funny women in life and tv now.

It's all summed up in the anecdote that at the 2012 Emmys, Louis CK whispered to Lena Dunham:

"What you are doing is important."

I agree.

So in summation I guess I need to say Thank You to Lena Dunham. I've just gone on about my jealousy and feelings about fairness but I'd be a douchebag idiot not to appreciate all of the good that is happening because of Lena's work.
And sincerely Thank You for the show Girls. One small step for womankind.

So

also

Can I have some? My turn.

Twin Peaks - the TV show review

(note - there's no big spoilers in here if you haven't seen it yet)

When Twin Peaks appeared on Netflix On Demand and Hulu for free, I figured I'd give it a try - and I highly recommend. I think it's a truly brilliant masterpiece, and I'm sure it's highly influential on future television. In the past few years especially, tv dramas have cared more than ever about cinematography - with Mad Men, Six Feet Under, and Breaking Bad as shining examples. I've loved David Lynch - and highly recommend downloading his audio book "To Catch a Fish" (he's a huge fan of transcendental meditation and he goes off on that a lot when there's so much more substance to his words beyond that. put the ipod on shuffle with your music and enjoy occasional treats from Lynch!) For some reason I thought in my head that I knew what Twin Peaks was all about from the glimpses I've had when it was on the air - but DUH, I was about 10 years old.

Hitchcock understood the GREAT IMPORTANCE of suspense in film. It matters in ALL genres from comedy to mystery in making moments count and the narrative exciting. Hitchcock Quote:

"I have always felt that you should do the minimum on screen to achieve the maximum effect. I believe the audience should work."

This is ESSENTIAL to great cinema and in Twin Peaks David Lynch plays with this a lot.

The characters are extremely well developed - fun, engaging, mysterious, sexy. Some characters are over the top in very specific, purposeful ways. He plays with audience expectations and the conventions of soap opera and bad television. Many people call Twin Peaks a satire of soap opera - in some ways, yes it is, but it's so much more than that. He's extremely aware of the audience's expectation as I mentioned before, and sometimes he plays with it so much it's clear he's got an incredible sense of humor. He earns every pleasurable moment of the show by telling his story with care and skill.

Nothing demonstrates the genius of the show more than when you get past Season 2 Episode 7, the last episode directed by David Lynch aside from the finale. The quality of the show declines rapidly, and then it gets even worse after the discovery of "who killed Laura Palmer" the over arching question of the show. What happens demonstrates the misunderstanding of and inability to replicate David Lynch's vision for the show and it's characters. The show is no longer clever and instead it hits you over the head with information, constantly indicating what it wants you to know - leaving no room for the audience to enjoy piecing things together. It becomes predictable, later romances are un earned (contrast the spark between Agent Cooper and Audrey with Agent Cooper and Heather Graham - notice how the relationship with Graham is completely undeveloped and simply served to you on a boring platter)

I think the show, and it's ultimate decline are a great demonstration of filmmaking skill, and by contrast lack there-of. For example - at the start of that sentence I just wrote - You can anticipate the later half of the sentence, what it's content will be. The mind fills in the blanks based on information given. It's a pleasure to do so and that's art. But you can only get there when you are given substance. Otherwise one just points to things they want you to see.

This is something I like to think of as the Tim Burton problem.

Tim Burton's masterpieces: Beeteljuice and Edward Scissorhands were followed by many great films - Ed Wood, Batman, Mars Attacks, and preceeded by the great Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. However by the time he got to Big Fish, he became detrimentally self-aware. He knew what it meant to "be Tim Burton" and he could no longer simply create without spewing out his signatures and what the audience expects from him - but on the wholly superficial level. And thus backlash. His creations became predictable parodies of his own work.

I feel the directors of later episodes of Twin Peaks picked up on what David Lynch was trying to create without truly understanding its depth and substance. It eventually went from beyond soap opera to exactly that. It's sad to watch poor Agent Cooper be so misunderstood, wasted, and poorly directed. The acting becomes terrible for the most part. Though I'd say the lovable Andy maintains his character better than some of the rest. Maybe he was easy for new directors and writers to understand.

I'd also want to credit the original co-writer Mark Foster as Twin Peaks is the result of their collaboration, and I know Foster wrote less and less as the show went on.

Thankfully the show is only 2 seasons long so you're not stuck with a situation like Gossip Girl - which was very well written and executed in it's early seasons, but later turned out about 3-4 seasons of complete horrible garbage all the way up until its insufferable finale.

Watch Twin Peaks and enjoy a show that was absolutely ahead of its time, and then go googling to understand its context and take a trip down early 90s lane - one of my favorite moments in American entertainment culture and the last great moment in modern music.

LINKS:
- Sesame Street Twin Peaks parody "Twin Beaks"
- SNL "Twin Peaks" parody
- Homer watches Twin Peaks
- Wikipedia entry on Twin Peaks (SPOILER ALERT so scroll carefully)

"Alleged" playing at the LA Comedy Fest

See "Alleged" at:

LA Comedy Festival
Friday Nov 2
8pm
Los Feliz 3 Cinemas
1822 N. Vermont Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90027

GET THEM TICKETS HERE

word to your mother 

SOME STILLS FROM "ALLEGED" :

The Master: Review

Finally!  A film for the whole family to enjoy!!

If your family is made up of yuppie scum.

Do not see this with parents or children.

It was a masterfully made film.  Absolutely capable and fantastic and bold as hell in that it purposefully pushed the audience away.  In its exploration of madness and mental illness, it creates an experience of feeling this mental illness and being misunderstood.

There's plenty of things I still don't understand - even composition wise - I'm confused about all these out-of-focus shot choices - that don't fit in a poetic way -when clearly a $40mil movie can be spot on with focus when it wants to.  And why does the party boat look so bad when it moves like it's a rookie camera mistake, when in this 70mm glory, it can't be?  Is it a part of the mental illness experience of the film?

However I understood the character and situation.  There's so many scenes that were unfucking believable, which I can mention without being spoilers:

- the first interview scene btwn PS Hoffman and Phoenix - my jaw was dropping from how incredibly it was crafted - a rare reason to be in shock

- the jail scene - for its truth and raw realness, the characters at their true height, so physical and open

PHENOMENAL jaw droppingly phenomenal

The film is concerned with characters that we socially instinctually want distance from - that we don't really want to know.  The fucking insane, the cult.  Those that we want to look at in a cage like in a zoo and be distant from with a glass between us and not be forced to have to actually be inside and know and see and be intimate with.  We take the time to be with those who we might otherwise fear and be repulsed by.

It's fascinated with the body and uses nudity in a new way than I've seen in most films.  I'm surprised it's not NC17 and I think if this can get an R rating, how unfair to all those NC17 movies!

I also find Joaquin's body and physicality one of the best parts about his performance - he really uses his whole body at all times while acting.

The performances of the entire cast are extremely bold and incredible.  Amy Adams in the bathroom scene -  Yep.  Oscar time stuff.

KNOW THIS

This is a painful movie to watch.  It's not fun, it's difficult.  It's one of the most difficult movies I've seen, it makes you work for it, it doesn't let you in, you have to work to find your way in and that's what's so bold about it.  This will get oscar nominations, but it's really not for mom n dad unless mom n dad are hoity toity and my parents like the movies Beaches and Under the Tuscan Sun - I will not be recommending The Master to them.

Bonus -  I saw this at the Arclight Hollywood which is easily the nicest most amazing movie theatre I've ever been in (well aside from the Cannes one but that's not even a normal movie theatre) AND Quentin fucking Tarantino was watching the movie there too and yes I did enjoy looking the man in the eye even though it meant nothing to him.

DJANGO

so looking forward.

Goodnight y'all.

My upcoming feature film

I suppose it's worth mentioning here:

I'm currently in development on my 1st feature film, which will shoot in NYC/Montauk/Hamptons in summer 2013.

It's a Sci-Fi Comedy journey - working title "http 404"

right now:
- seeking investors
- casting

This project may be especially interesting to:
- female engineers and scientists
- web companies
- science foundations
- the comedy community
- the film society of the Hamptons, and the Montauk and Long Island communities

email me:
404moviecasting@gmail.com for all CASTING inquiries - no exceptions no facebook notes no emails to other addresses please!

theheatherfink@yahoo.com for all investment and PRODUCTION inquires - thanks!

"Heart Break" showing at the SAG Foundation Showcase

Dear SAG/AFTRA members,

"Heart Break"
will be shown:


Sept 30

2pm
The Engelman Recital Hall at Baruch Performing Arts Center on the
corner of 24th Street and Lexington Ave

In the SAG Foundation Short Film Showcase.

featuring the amazing talents of Ann Carr, Zach Cregger, GL Douglas, Hannibal Buress, and Trevor Williams!

Trailer for "Alleged" !

VO by Steven Ogg
Edited by Steve Pristin


Showing at the LA Shorts Festival
Weds Sept 12 at 10pm @ the Laemmle NoHo 7 Theaters at 5240 Lankershim Blvd.
North Hollywood CA 91601

woo hoo!

"Alleged" premiers at the LA Shorts Fest Sept 6-13, 2012

Poster Designed by Matt Lobello.

Visit http://lashortsfest.com/ for screening details.

Alleged on imdb.

Alleged on facebook.

EAST VILLAGE slash LOWER EAST SIDE area FOOD knowledge

I've lived in the lower east side/east village area for about 6 years now.  AND I'M LEAVING!!!
Cause I'm gonna go to LA for a bit.  I'll be back in time for turkey and gravy'd up potaters.

BUT YOU CAN HAVE SOME FOOD TIPZ.  Ready?

Favorite best restaurant:
FAT RADISH
on Orchard St
- flawless service, food, drinks, fresh ingredients, atmosphere

Favorite best lunch:
- lunch box special at Soba-Ya  w cold soba
on 9th btwn 2nd and 3rd

honorable mention:  Soba Koh's dinner special - wasabi cold soba with uni on top HOLY CRAP mmmm

Favorite best affordable dinner:
HIMALAYAN
Cafe Himalaya on 1st and 1st - it's BYOB, cash only, and crowded, the soup and momo dumplings are MMMMM but DON'T DRINK THE BUTTER TEA.  I thought butter tea would be interesting.  You're not gonna like it unless you like drinking warm cups of salted butter liquid.

Also - Tsampa Himalayan food on 9th btwn 2nd and 3rd.  More delicious Himalayan/Tibetan food, which is incredibly flavorful and healthy, in a spacious restaurant that takes credit card and serves drinks.  Great for groups.

Favorite best dish:
Meskel  - etheopian restaurant
Ave B and 3rd Street
- timatim salad
MMM so TANGY so Fresh so TASTY
also recommended - collard greens, combo plates
this place is the best etheopian in NYC south of harlem
(best etheopian in USA is in northern VA and washington DC)
MESKEL TIMATIM = num num yummy

Do you like sandwiches?
- Sunny and Annie's Deli - looks like an ordinary bodega
on 6th st and Ave B
BUT GUESS WHAT?
Imperial sandwiches with magical tasty powers are inside of this place anticipating your arrival, wanting to be put in your mouth.  It's a fact.

Also good:  Edi and the Wolf (super cute atmosphere), Kafana (yummy Albanians), Wasan (fancy sushi), Robata-ya (fun FUN fancy)

DO YOU LIKE TO DRINK?
- Elsa - classy, you can bring a special someone to this place for pleasant lighting and atmosphere
- Umi No En - somewhat hidden japanese surf bar.  I like sitting on the floor but tall men don't.  great place for me to have fun sitting on floor while hurting the tall man's knees, but that's what he gets for being a woman oppressor.  And the food and drinks are good.
- Satsko - on 7th btwn B and C, cozy, comfy, friendly

There once was a time once upon a time when I loved to be and party on the lower east side.
But it is not as it once was.
Though I still love my Cake Shop, and the intersection of Orchard and Broome.

That's all I'm gonna say about that.