People ask me how my dad is doing after his stroke and how was my family doing, and for most of the summer, the answer was terribly.
There were moments of something sweet or interesting - but mostly it's been just plain devastating, and often, it seemed like pure hell.
Dad came home 2 1/2 weeks ago and the first 2 weeks were the worst and hardest part yet. It's a fulltime job caring for him as he can't do everything for himself, and he's faced with living in a world that isn't made for him in his wheelchair or his inability to speak. We had to try and figure out how to be nurses and give medicines and take care of all dad's needs. Every tiny desire became impossible, dad was so frustrated, and he couldn't communicate what he wanted or needed so everyone was just really angry, upset, and exhausted. Dad's physical therapy at the rehab center focused on his basic movements and needs, but not so much on how he can really live outside the center. We've been pushed to our limits every single day, and mom is also trying to manage a stressful fulltime job.
But this week things were getting better. Specifically today. A physical therapist comes into the home and shows us how dad can do more things for himself, and how we can help him move around more easily, and we have figured out how to adjust the house better for every day life - and it's starting to pay off. It's been more calm the past couple of days, and the happy moments were more frequent.
Today seemed like the first good day. Sure it had it's share of regular major obstacles and frustrations - but we have become used to big obstacles. We felt most happy because dad has more strength and balance in his physical therapy, and we don't think he's too far from being able to walk with a cane, at least with our help. We have figured out how to manage more things, the house is better set up, and dad is learning to calm down and give us a break here and there. He really wants to do all the things he used to do. Him not doing the things he used to do has been one of our major obstacles - we've had phones shut off because we couldn't figure out how to log into the phone account, broken things, things we couldn't find, confusion over bills and taxes, etc ...
Today we wanted to move some of my furniture out of the garage where it's been all summer and into the van - but the garage door wouldn't open! The mechanism was broken, and the garage was so full of chaos and junk it seemed impossible to get someone in there to fix it or troubleshoot. Mom and I were inside the garage trying to pull on the door and press the button at the same time - and all of the sudden we got it up a bit, and then we saw feet under the door! Dad wheeled himself outside and was trying to help from the other side! He was laughing so hard when we saw him there. It was a pretty good moment. He laughed almost as much as when he tried to help empty the clean dishwasher, and picked up the whole basket of silverware and dumped it into the drawer. He looked at me and laughed his ass off, and later mom told me he used to do this before the stroke.
We frequently have dad participate in things, ask him for his input, and his insight is often what we need - there are so many mysteries to solve. We had to remove the seats from the van, and dad had to help us solve that mystery too. He can't just do it for us or tell us how, and it wasn't obvious either. We have to work together with him and figure out the puzzles of what he is trying to tell us and what we are trying to do. These things come up on a regular basis, and dad feels really good when we can figure things out with him - he communicates with gestures and sounds, and can say yes and no.
And dad loves mom's hugs and attention and was so excited mom sent him an email that said "I love you." He checks his emails all the time, though he can't write them yet. He reads well.
Anyhow, I'll be moving back into the city soon, and the idea of moving without dad is one of the things that has made me cry the most. In the last 11 years, me and dad have moved my apartments together - and I counted - this will be my 9th move in 11 years! I've only lived in one apartment for more than a year and it was my favorite one on Delancey Street. Moving is normally our bonding time. I am a daddy's girl and we do lots of heavy strong work together, and he builds things custom for my apartments, we assemble furniture together, he helps me hang shelves and things like that. Then we go eat something healthy because my mom and sister don't like that hippie food. He worked so hard and I appreciated it so much, but he knows that now, he earned us working hard for him too - and sometimes he feels very happy and moved by how we all work together. It's sad for both of us, but I hope maybe next year. It's unfortunate that elevator apartments in nyc aren't affordable, it would be nice if he could visit me or be there during the move.
I accept by now that dad won't help me move me this year, but it was something I thought about since the day of his stroke, that I wasn't ready to lose my dad or these things that we do together.
I'm going to get my life back soon. It's been less important and I'm certainly in the position where I could spare a couple months and give them where they were needed most. But - this experience has made every little personal indulgence seem a luxury, and the minutia of ordinary days will be deeply appreciated upon return. I wonder what my life will be this year. I wonder what my social life, my school life, my creative life, my home life will turn into.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
HUP HOLLAND HUP
On Sunday you can see the Dutch and Spanish battle it out to win the World Cup! I'm Dutch. Mom was born and raised. So Hup Holland Hup.
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Do you know why the Dutch wear Orange (oranje voetbal!)?
- Because the original King of the Netherlands is King William of Orange - the kingdom once included Benelux and Spain ... so the orange color of Holland once included Spain as part of it's kingdom - and I'm pretty sure that William guy led a revolt against Spain to become an independent kingdom - and now they have to battle each other! omg
-------------------
My favorite song of the past month:
The National - England
(song doesnt start till about 50 seconds in)
My very favorite thing I found in the web recently:
James Franco's appearance on GH.
MOVIES
The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus
Terry Gilliam's latest and Heath Ledger's last. It's a mighty fine work, and something you don't see from film making much anymore. It's got the cosmically imaginitive more common in 80s films like Never Ending Story - really willing to go out on a weird limb, play, and not concern itself with being grounded whatsoever. Today's fantasy genre is dominated by the Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/Narnia kind of stuff and this is very different. You see the creativity and heavily directed production design combined with the powers of CGI and I think Gilliam uses the digital effects tastefully (ie the opposite of the piece of cinematic trash called "Transformers") - the only other director who I think masters the creative use of digital effects similarly is Jeunet (Amelie, earlier work of City of Lost Children could be compared with Gilliam's Brazil). This is another film with unnecessarily antiquated gender roles so it doesn't score well there. And there are some sloppy moments so it's not a flawless piece of work - but you can easily get past that and marvel at the fantasy. You won't walk away from it saying it's totally amazing. But it's really something special, and makes me so happy to experience - the film wakens the childlike creativity inside.
Of note - young actress Lily Cole - so unusual looking, absolutely beautiful, fascinating on screen.
Invictus
I had no idea how great this movie would be from the ads. It's actually the historical story of Nelson Mandela and his involvement with the South African Rugby team's World Cup victory in his first year of presidency. It's a perfectly made film and one of the best sports films I've seen. Well acted, well executed, and you learn something along the way.
Toy Story 3
Underwhelming, nothing special, perfectly good for families, not worth going to as an adult without kids. It's no Ratatouille! I love that movie.
Oh Dear
There is a thing called Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll. It's written and directed by Marilyn Manson. If this is a good thing, color me suprised!
Mike Patton + my favorite Michael Jackson song = I wish I was there.
No modern male singers, especially not in modern music, are better than Mike Patton (who also enjoys making weird vocal experiments!)
Do you know why the Dutch wear Orange (oranje voetbal!)?
- Because the original King of the Netherlands is King William of Orange - the kingdom once included Benelux and Spain ... so the orange color of Holland once included Spain as part of it's kingdom - and I'm pretty sure that William guy led a revolt against Spain to become an independent kingdom - and now they have to battle each other! omg
-------------------
My favorite song of the past month:
The National - England
(song doesnt start till about 50 seconds in)
My very favorite thing I found in the web recently:
James Franco's appearance on GH.
MOVIES
The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus
Terry Gilliam's latest and Heath Ledger's last. It's a mighty fine work, and something you don't see from film making much anymore. It's got the cosmically imaginitive more common in 80s films like Never Ending Story - really willing to go out on a weird limb, play, and not concern itself with being grounded whatsoever. Today's fantasy genre is dominated by the Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/Narnia kind of stuff and this is very different. You see the creativity and heavily directed production design combined with the powers of CGI and I think Gilliam uses the digital effects tastefully (ie the opposite of the piece of cinematic trash called "Transformers") - the only other director who I think masters the creative use of digital effects similarly is Jeunet (Amelie, earlier work of City of Lost Children could be compared with Gilliam's Brazil). This is another film with unnecessarily antiquated gender roles so it doesn't score well there. And there are some sloppy moments so it's not a flawless piece of work - but you can easily get past that and marvel at the fantasy. You won't walk away from it saying it's totally amazing. But it's really something special, and makes me so happy to experience - the film wakens the childlike creativity inside.
Of note - young actress Lily Cole - so unusual looking, absolutely beautiful, fascinating on screen.
Invictus
I had no idea how great this movie would be from the ads. It's actually the historical story of Nelson Mandela and his involvement with the South African Rugby team's World Cup victory in his first year of presidency. It's a perfectly made film and one of the best sports films I've seen. Well acted, well executed, and you learn something along the way.
Toy Story 3
Underwhelming, nothing special, perfectly good for families, not worth going to as an adult without kids. It's no Ratatouille! I love that movie.
Oh Dear
There is a thing called Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll. It's written and directed by Marilyn Manson. If this is a good thing, color me suprised!
Mike Patton + my favorite Michael Jackson song = I wish I was there.
No modern male singers, especially not in modern music, are better than Mike Patton (who also enjoys making weird vocal experiments!)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Comedian Lost
In recent weeks, I haven't been able to pay much attention to my own life. I don't want a gold medal, but it's a matter of fact that I have been giving up some of my life for my family lately. I'm not mad at them for this, I wouldn't have it any other way - I want to do this and be here. It's hard to declare this without sounding dramatic and like I'm complaining - let's just make it very clear that I'm not.
But I am feeling something partly related to this experience, and partly related to the isolation that preceded my father's stroke - a month in europe, and the past year in grad school.
My first standup show was for my 3rd grade class, and my first character performances were daily characters of the day in my 2nd grade class (all I remember is that I was a California Raisin on Mondays). Life: gut feelings, the totality of my experiences - told me that being a comedian and storyteller is the life for me, and so I pursue that end.
You have to constantly put yourself out there to get ahead in comedy (and in much of the media world) unless you get really lucky and randomly discovered - but that's not the sort of thing anyone worthwhile should count on. I'd been putting myself out there in every way I could manage for years now, though I always made room for living (all artists must be more than just artists or they have nothing to express!). Grad school started less than a year ago, and in taking it seriously, I put a lot of things to the side.
And here I am, the next summer after performing on Comedy Death Ray and Sweet - two of the absolute best comedy shows in LA and NYC - and I feel like the comedy world has already started moving past me. If I go to a party I may know everybody, but sometimes the crop of performers and administrators/business folk is so fresh and new it's overwhelming. I have the NYC comedy scene deeply and richly woven into my personal history. It's been a part of my life for the past 15 years now, as I started visiting NYC around 1996 in high school. I always had something to aspire to, grip onto, target with lasers and say - there - that's where I need to be - that's the mountain I need to climb. But the mountain is changing.
And so I don't think I can approach a comedy career that way anymore. I have been ok with doing less comedy since day one of Grad Film School. The reason I did standup in the first place was because I wanted to be a comedy tv or film writer. I never really wanted to tour the country and perform at Chuckle Huts - though performing in other cities is a ton of fun - I just don't see standup as a sustainable career - or at least not an end. A means to an end.
So it definitely made me feel like crap when I got a cold hard no recently when asking to book a show at UCB NY. I've gotten no's before. Failure and rejection are inherent parts of comedy (you have to have to take risks to find the good stuff) - but just in this moment I felt - man, these people don't even know me anymore. They don't know my history here. They don't know how I embrace this community, and have invited its members to take part in the things that I create. Things move quickly, and I don't have a grip in this world anymore.
I may have comedy friends, famous connections, and folks who have noticed what I do along the way - but I'm not a headliner, not a seat filler, and not a cold hard Yes, yet. It seems the achievements of my past can't be rebuilt, piled up, or built higher higher, high enough. But I do feel good about what I am capable of. I feel great about it in fact. I really like what I do when I do standup. I really like what I can do when I do original sketches or characters. I know the shows I do go well - but they certainly haven't gotten me far yet. They have brought me unforgettable moments, so props to that.
At the end of the day I have to make something great, that's always been true. It's going to take true patience, and being ok with driving in the slow lane to get where I'm going as people pass me by. As long as I get there in the end, because if I don't, I will have to redefine who I am as a human being.
I am a comedian.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
June 2010 Update
I got rid of my NYC apartment once my first year of film school ended on May 8th and on May 9th, I flew to Europe. Spent two weeks at the Cannes Film Festival, then traveled for 2 weeks in Italy and the french riviera. While I was there I partied with (next to) Lindsay Lohan, lost my ATM card and washed dishes for food in St Tropez, walked in the snow in the Alps, ate snails, tanned myself on fabulous beaches, and got back together with my boyfriend Adam over email. My dad picked me up from the airport on Tuesday June 8th. I made dinner for my family with a special soup mix that has been discontinued in the US but I found it in Switzerland and bought 9 packages. My dutch mom used to make this soup all the time so it was a missed taste of childhood. The next day I spent time with my parents at home. Dad was going on and on about politics and I told him to cut it out. He was also making renovations on the house and moving lots of things around. I said I love you and drove into the city to meet Adam for Brooke's birthday at Tine's apartment in the Danish House. The Danish House is a house for Danish artists living in America and Tine is a classmate of mine in film school.
I met Adam at the Outback steakhouse where I was having a beer. We walked over together and were enjoying drinks and potluck food. I was excited to see everyone and share stories from the trip.
At 8:30pm my mom and dad sat down to dinner and a movie and my dad had a strange look in his eyes and my mom knew something was wrong. She asked my sister to call 911 while she tried to attend to my dad. My sister called 911, and my mom and sister thought dad was having a heart attack. My sister followed my parents in the ambulance and called me at 9pm. My dad had a stroke due to his high blood pressure. I lost it and was hysterically upset and confused. They said my dad had a stroke and Adam and I took a cab to my car which I parked in Williamsburg, and he drove me to the hospital.
He was operated on immediately. The hospital was impressive. It was the night before my 29th birthday and I was in the hospital where I was born. The grand piano, water fountain, marble, and nice landscaping made us all feel like he was in the right hands. They operated immediately, and my dad was paralyzed on the right side of his body and could not speak. He was very out of it and confused and nothing was clear. We did not know the extent of the brain damage.
After about 6 days he was moved to a rehabilitation center which is only 5 miles away from my family house. He could now be out of bed in a wheelchair, and will be in daily therapy to learn to walk and speak again. We do not know if it will take months or years, but he has a lot of good signs that it will happen. He understands most of what's going on, he just can't communicate back to us yet beyond gestures and facial expressions. Every day he makes some kind of progress. He's very strong and extremely motivated to rehabilitate. The rehab center allows visitors, has decent food, and an outdoor area he can go to. He eats in a dining room with other people instead of at his bed. He is being rehabilitated to do every little thing for himself again. It's not going to happen quickly. It will take time, patience, hard work, and positive attitude. Soon my family will learn more about how we can help him too.
When I came home from europe, I didn't have a lease to worry about or a summer job. At least for the summer, I am taking over my dad's responsibilities, and spending the day with him at the hospital while my mom is at work.
My life for now involves spending the day with dad at the rehab center, and readjusting to suburban life. I'll be playing detective work figuring out how to pay the bills, how to garden, how to take out the trash, go food shopping, do the dishes, maintain the cars. I took the car for an oil change today. Just that simple thing is something that a city slicker like me hasn't done in a DECADE! I sat with dad at lunch and chatted with the other patients at his table. Dad is the youngest one there at 67, and he looks even younger because he's such a health nut. An 81 year old woman named Marge had a stroke too and she was very chatty. She loved the food there and was happy not to have to make it herself. Marge is feisty with a sense of humor and I think I'll enjoy having lunches with her at the table. Another couple asked if I was my dad's wife. I don't think they could see very well, the man thought my dad was about 45. This was a compliment to dad, who had shaved off his mustache 2 weeks ago for the first time in my entire life because he decided it would make him look younger.
I'm currently trying to figure out the damn remote control for the Dish Network system that my parents recently switched to because it's cheaper than cable and they barely watch tv anyways. I'd really like to find my camera battery charger so I can share photos from Europe. I'm also doing lots of healthy cooking for mom and me. Today it was grilled portobellos and yesterday there was baked chicken with apples, and I figured out a really tasty yogurt salad dressing: plain fat free yogurt, lemon juice, mustard, plus herbs (chives and parsley, but any are good).
And my neck hurts.
From now on I'll be visiting with dad during the day, and playing dad around the house during the weekdays. On weekends I'll be visiting NYC and friends elsewhere. There will be a lot of time in the car and a lot of driving, though I much prefer the subway.
If someone asks "How is your Dad doing?" The true answer is bad. This really sucks and it's sad and really really difficult. But how he's doing doesn't matter. The fact that there's a lot of love in my family matters, and the fact that he will do better and he will rehabilitate matters but he's not there YET. So he's not doing well just yet. There are plenty of little blessings like the fact that he can swallow and has a very strong left half of his body, seems to remember and understand, and laughs and has a sense of humor.
My time away from home with friends also matters a lot. I need to keep my soul healthy and happy and keep growing as always. I want that and of course dad and mom want that too.
Soon I'll spend some time on my films this summer, getting them out to festivals, shooting new shorts AND I intend to keep up with standup, who knows a place to perform in Morris County? Eventually things will need to be hilarious. Like this:
I met Adam at the Outback steakhouse where I was having a beer. We walked over together and were enjoying drinks and potluck food. I was excited to see everyone and share stories from the trip.
At 8:30pm my mom and dad sat down to dinner and a movie and my dad had a strange look in his eyes and my mom knew something was wrong. She asked my sister to call 911 while she tried to attend to my dad. My sister called 911, and my mom and sister thought dad was having a heart attack. My sister followed my parents in the ambulance and called me at 9pm. My dad had a stroke due to his high blood pressure. I lost it and was hysterically upset and confused. They said my dad had a stroke and Adam and I took a cab to my car which I parked in Williamsburg, and he drove me to the hospital.
He was operated on immediately. The hospital was impressive. It was the night before my 29th birthday and I was in the hospital where I was born. The grand piano, water fountain, marble, and nice landscaping made us all feel like he was in the right hands. They operated immediately, and my dad was paralyzed on the right side of his body and could not speak. He was very out of it and confused and nothing was clear. We did not know the extent of the brain damage.
After about 6 days he was moved to a rehabilitation center which is only 5 miles away from my family house. He could now be out of bed in a wheelchair, and will be in daily therapy to learn to walk and speak again. We do not know if it will take months or years, but he has a lot of good signs that it will happen. He understands most of what's going on, he just can't communicate back to us yet beyond gestures and facial expressions. Every day he makes some kind of progress. He's very strong and extremely motivated to rehabilitate. The rehab center allows visitors, has decent food, and an outdoor area he can go to. He eats in a dining room with other people instead of at his bed. He is being rehabilitated to do every little thing for himself again. It's not going to happen quickly. It will take time, patience, hard work, and positive attitude. Soon my family will learn more about how we can help him too.
When I came home from europe, I didn't have a lease to worry about or a summer job. At least for the summer, I am taking over my dad's responsibilities, and spending the day with him at the hospital while my mom is at work.
My life for now involves spending the day with dad at the rehab center, and readjusting to suburban life. I'll be playing detective work figuring out how to pay the bills, how to garden, how to take out the trash, go food shopping, do the dishes, maintain the cars. I took the car for an oil change today. Just that simple thing is something that a city slicker like me hasn't done in a DECADE! I sat with dad at lunch and chatted with the other patients at his table. Dad is the youngest one there at 67, and he looks even younger because he's such a health nut. An 81 year old woman named Marge had a stroke too and she was very chatty. She loved the food there and was happy not to have to make it herself. Marge is feisty with a sense of humor and I think I'll enjoy having lunches with her at the table. Another couple asked if I was my dad's wife. I don't think they could see very well, the man thought my dad was about 45. This was a compliment to dad, who had shaved off his mustache 2 weeks ago for the first time in my entire life because he decided it would make him look younger.
I'm currently trying to figure out the damn remote control for the Dish Network system that my parents recently switched to because it's cheaper than cable and they barely watch tv anyways. I'd really like to find my camera battery charger so I can share photos from Europe. I'm also doing lots of healthy cooking for mom and me. Today it was grilled portobellos and yesterday there was baked chicken with apples, and I figured out a really tasty yogurt salad dressing: plain fat free yogurt, lemon juice, mustard, plus herbs (chives and parsley, but any are good).
And my neck hurts.
From now on I'll be visiting with dad during the day, and playing dad around the house during the weekdays. On weekends I'll be visiting NYC and friends elsewhere. There will be a lot of time in the car and a lot of driving, though I much prefer the subway.
If someone asks "How is your Dad doing?" The true answer is bad. This really sucks and it's sad and really really difficult. But how he's doing doesn't matter. The fact that there's a lot of love in my family matters, and the fact that he will do better and he will rehabilitate matters but he's not there YET. So he's not doing well just yet. There are plenty of little blessings like the fact that he can swallow and has a very strong left half of his body, seems to remember and understand, and laughs and has a sense of humor.
My time away from home with friends also matters a lot. I need to keep my soul healthy and happy and keep growing as always. I want that and of course dad and mom want that too.
Soon I'll spend some time on my films this summer, getting them out to festivals, shooting new shorts AND I intend to keep up with standup, who knows a place to perform in Morris County? Eventually things will need to be hilarious. Like this:
Morning Prayer with Skott and Behr - Black Francis from Tim and Eric on Vimeo.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
and now i,m in another part of the earth
on a weird italian computer
near cinque terra on the top of a mountain in a hostel! but it,s a very nice one
still hoping to get to holland
had a really lovely last evening in cannes, my classmate the moviestar james franco took us out at part of his crew and we got to go to all of the fun parties including something kind of amazing in cap d,antibes then partied till the sun came up with famous people who will never remember me but i,ll remember them and it was fun watching lohan break the law, paris hilton act like a fun frat boy (in a good way) calling for a round of shots in a fancy black tie dress, and benicio del toro sit around being cool. ps james and his peoples who i dont know if they want to be anonymous are very very nice and down to earth two thumbs up
ack
i cant properly express myself with this keyboard
all the typing comes out like i,m a perpetual tourist
i know i can make an exclamation point!
have had some great adventures but alas it,s not all roses and lindsey lohan
for example the french people
boo
(sorry to the good ones)
ok, if you,re curious whats up dude just google cinque terre and then you,ll perhaps understand although i,m not sure the internet knows enough about whats going on over here
me neither
ciao
near cinque terra on the top of a mountain in a hostel! but it,s a very nice one
still hoping to get to holland
had a really lovely last evening in cannes, my classmate the moviestar james franco took us out at part of his crew and we got to go to all of the fun parties including something kind of amazing in cap d,antibes then partied till the sun came up with famous people who will never remember me but i,ll remember them and it was fun watching lohan break the law, paris hilton act like a fun frat boy (in a good way) calling for a round of shots in a fancy black tie dress, and benicio del toro sit around being cool. ps james and his peoples who i dont know if they want to be anonymous are very very nice and down to earth two thumbs up
ack
i cant properly express myself with this keyboard
all the typing comes out like i,m a perpetual tourist
i know i can make an exclamation point!
have had some great adventures but alas it,s not all roses and lindsey lohan
for example the french people
boo
(sorry to the good ones)
ok, if you,re curious whats up dude just google cinque terre and then you,ll perhaps understand although i,m not sure the internet knows enough about whats going on over here
me neither
ciao
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Cannes Report: Fair Game
Just saw Doug Liman's Fair Game starring Naomi Watts and Sean Penn. It was truly spectacular in every way. Expertly shot, performed, written, scored - every damn thing. Serious Oscar contention for cast and crew.
My senior thesis as a philosophy major asserted (if I'm going to oversimplify) that one can create a greater critical self analysis - an essential process for any oppressed group to become liberated - via expression - for example in film (my example was with comedy). WHICH IS SO TRUE IN THIS FILM.
I quit a career in politics in 2005 after Bush won his election for the second time.
Were I to continue to pursue this career I would have most likely been a sheep, shepharded in law school, formed into a beaten down cog in a machine (Yale or Harvard lawyers fair better in the "make a difference" realms due to their inherent power and positioning).
I've always wanted to smack people in the face with the truth about who women are and what we are capable of - and I want to see it properly depicted in the voice of the people - how we talk about ourselves and others - and so I want to see it properly depicted in film - whether it be simple fun comedy or a serious dramatic piece. I believe film is the medium for change and giving voice to women with personality and strength who are not heard or seen. I want to show depictions of strong women as they are - and I truly believe that if I can make films that show this, it will change how women are percieved and treated. I also believe I could accomplish this personally by achieving career excellence in a male dominated field such as film directing. SO aside from wanting to make some damn good comedies - this is my life's goal.
After seeing Fair Game by Doug Liman - I see an extremely effective film that has given voice to people who were silenced - It can make a bigger impact than those who try to make a difference in politics and are silenced. Speaking up is exactly what films can do. Fair Game is excellent and I look forward to the impact it makes. Thank goodness for Valerie Plame's story it was placed in competent hands.
It's also a pleasure to watch!
My senior thesis as a philosophy major asserted (if I'm going to oversimplify) that one can create a greater critical self analysis - an essential process for any oppressed group to become liberated - via expression - for example in film (my example was with comedy). WHICH IS SO TRUE IN THIS FILM.
I quit a career in politics in 2005 after Bush won his election for the second time.
Were I to continue to pursue this career I would have most likely been a sheep, shepharded in law school, formed into a beaten down cog in a machine (Yale or Harvard lawyers fair better in the "make a difference" realms due to their inherent power and positioning).
I've always wanted to smack people in the face with the truth about who women are and what we are capable of - and I want to see it properly depicted in the voice of the people - how we talk about ourselves and others - and so I want to see it properly depicted in film - whether it be simple fun comedy or a serious dramatic piece. I believe film is the medium for change and giving voice to women with personality and strength who are not heard or seen. I want to show depictions of strong women as they are - and I truly believe that if I can make films that show this, it will change how women are percieved and treated. I also believe I could accomplish this personally by achieving career excellence in a male dominated field such as film directing. SO aside from wanting to make some damn good comedies - this is my life's goal.
After seeing Fair Game by Doug Liman - I see an extremely effective film that has given voice to people who were silenced - It can make a bigger impact than those who try to make a difference in politics and are silenced. Speaking up is exactly what films can do. Fair Game is excellent and I look forward to the impact it makes. Thank goodness for Valerie Plame's story it was placed in competent hands.
It's also a pleasure to watch!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Cannes Report number next
Saw Tanner Hall - a film made largely by women ( headed by writer/director team Francesca Gregorini and Tatiana von Furstenberg), and it's damn excellent in many ways, so I'm sad that the script fell short in certain moments taking away from a film with huge potential. Either way I think it will be successful and enjoyed by a variety of audiences. The acting and general shot direction is fantastic. The characters are real and complex, and one of the most wonderful portrayals of teen girls I've seen in film. The problems lie in some cheesy moments - the evil mom and the end for example - just really really didn't work. Solid acting performances came out of each and every cast member - from Chris Kattan (which suprised me) to Amy Sedaris and Tom Everett Scott (I'm already a big fan). Especially impressive were the teen performances from Rooney Mara and Amy Ferguson. Those two absolutely blew me away!
Almost saw Blue Valentine - hugely buzzed about with packed screenings - starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams with music by Grizzly Bear (and ps - been loving Blue Valentine producer Lynette Howell on the panel circuit - Lynette if you read this, I'll work for you any day!) BUT I wasn't up for the emotion at the moment - word is it's incredibly moving and sad. Hopefully I have one more chance to see it before Cannes end.
Catching Fair Game bright and early in the morning!
Arrrggg! I love me some movies.
Other stuff
- Saw Stephen Frears speak - interesting tidbit about his directing style - he picks actors he loves first and gives them a lot of freedom. Doesn't hold rehearsals ahead of shooting and feels he must respond to the moment and the set in the space, then rehearses there before going for takes
- Was selected for a short film competition so I got a free Flip Cam! Shot the short today and uploading it tomorrow - wish me luck cause the prize could pay for this trip. And I'm feeling guilty about the euros that been droppin so ... if you like me, knock on wood for me please!
- Going to help location scout in Italy next week!!! Going to Cinque Terre and the Alps. I'm so excited and extra excited to find affordable adventures.
- My final week in Europe will most likely be with friends in Majorca in Spain. Yes I'm doing it all on the cheap!
- Probably won't be able to visit family in Holland but spoke with the Holland Film Commission while here and intend to shoot something in Holland next summer.
Almost saw Blue Valentine - hugely buzzed about with packed screenings - starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams with music by Grizzly Bear (and ps - been loving Blue Valentine producer Lynette Howell on the panel circuit - Lynette if you read this, I'll work for you any day!) BUT I wasn't up for the emotion at the moment - word is it's incredibly moving and sad. Hopefully I have one more chance to see it before Cannes end.
Catching Fair Game bright and early in the morning!
Arrrggg! I love me some movies.
Other stuff
- Saw Stephen Frears speak - interesting tidbit about his directing style - he picks actors he loves first and gives them a lot of freedom. Doesn't hold rehearsals ahead of shooting and feels he must respond to the moment and the set in the space, then rehearses there before going for takes
- Was selected for a short film competition so I got a free Flip Cam! Shot the short today and uploading it tomorrow - wish me luck cause the prize could pay for this trip. And I'm feeling guilty about the euros that been droppin so ... if you like me, knock on wood for me please!
- Going to help location scout in Italy next week!!! Going to Cinque Terre and the Alps. I'm so excited and extra excited to find affordable adventures.
- My final week in Europe will most likely be with friends in Majorca in Spain. Yes I'm doing it all on the cheap!
- Probably won't be able to visit family in Holland but spoke with the Holland Film Commission while here and intend to shoot something in Holland next summer.
Cannes Report
Hey dudes,
Here's the reason I'm in Cannes:
- I have a short film on the Short Film Corner
- To learn the market - Cannes is the most important international film market, and I'm learning quite a bit about the business of movies, and the most valuable bits about how you can actually sell your blood sweat and tears at the end of the day.
- To make contacts with those who could fund my blood sweat and tears, or those who could contribute blood or sweat to my existing pile.
And I'm also here for adventures, and to see films. Here are the films I've seen - (so far the dominant themes of the market at Iraq war, bad economy, 3D, and there's LOTS of puppy films):
- Police Dog Dreams - a Japanese film about a little girl and her dog and their dreams to be a police dog team. F'ING AWESOME. I have the poster. and it is AWESOME.
HERE IS THE TRAILER!
- a 3D presentation from Korea with robots and dinosaurs. the robots outshine the dinosaurs by far. 3D offerings are EVERYWHERE. audiences - get ready for your eyes to be exposed to this comeback technology from the 80s and let your mind explode with extra dimension (I think it's just a trend that will last 2 years max!)
- Main Street - great cast (Ellen Burstyn, Orlando Bloom to name a few) but we left after 30 mins into the film. BAD EDITING. TERRIBLE EDITING. Shots were misused, it should have started way later in the first scene, the opening montage was boring and repetetive. Could be great if it was edited properly
- Every Day - Liev Schreiber, Helen Hunt, Carla Gugino. Bad writing. Liev not right in this part (though a good actor), and Helen Hunt's hair was overdone which was a weird and mal-fitting choice. Left after 30 mins
- Company Men - Great film, Academy Contender - Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper. Strong acting, good story - VERY UNINTENTIONALLY SEXIST - Women were never portrayed in relevant roles, in real life women are executives and there were none. We should have seen a female lead along with the men, also there was a token black role - cheesy and the black dude isn't as real a character as the white leads. And the one female business woman had to get naked which wasn't necessary and that actress should have had to do that to tell this story. HOWEVER it was a moving, scary examination of corporate downsizing and layoffs. Ben Affleck's story ark was so extremely true to life, and this will strike a real nerve with those of us deeply afraid of the impact of this economy.
- Tamara Drewe - A really fun film made by Stephen Frears who knows what he's doing. The end is hokey, but otherwise it's great fun and will do well. Great ensemble cast.
- Of Gods and Men (Des Hommes Et Des Dieux) - French film about monks in a monastery in Algeria facing up against violent terrorists while trying to support the village they inhabit. We saw this one on the proper red carpet last night! So fun. The film is absolutely beautiful and moved me to tears. Very well acted. Loved those old men monks! Was so moving to see the actors and director receive a long standing ovation at the end of the film. The most brilliant scene is at the dinner table where we spend time with each character as we experience quiet moments with each as they evoke their viewpoint and experience. One criticism is the overuse of the technique to stay on shots a long time - he should cut a lot of shots shorter (even though its clearly a style choice) because it is being overused, and he will lose the audience and they will be bored or their minds will wander. He needs to keep the long shots in the important moments we need to feel most, and cut some landscape shots, etc because its taking away from the film! It's quite a moving experience a la Schindler's list (but very different style wise from that film)
Other happenings:
- got to see a panel with Doug Liman! He's such a competent director, I admire him so much! Hope to catch Fair Game. Will write about what he had to say about fair game - and the fact that he DP's many of his own films! - later
- Stephen Baldwin is poking around. I think his kids made short films here
- Saw Javier Bardem walk into his press conference!
- Visited Grasse. Got rained on :(
- So far the highest scoring films in the festival are Mike Leigh's Another Year - and 2nd highest is the film I saw, Of Gods and Men. Biutiful by Innaritu and with Bardem scored very very low! Worst score so far is yakuza film Outrage by Kitano- and Kiarostami's film with Juliette Binoche got mixed reviews.
Ok bye now.
Here's the reason I'm in Cannes:
- I have a short film on the Short Film Corner
- To learn the market - Cannes is the most important international film market, and I'm learning quite a bit about the business of movies, and the most valuable bits about how you can actually sell your blood sweat and tears at the end of the day.
- To make contacts with those who could fund my blood sweat and tears, or those who could contribute blood or sweat to my existing pile.
And I'm also here for adventures, and to see films. Here are the films I've seen - (so far the dominant themes of the market at Iraq war, bad economy, 3D, and there's LOTS of puppy films):
- Police Dog Dreams - a Japanese film about a little girl and her dog and their dreams to be a police dog team. F'ING AWESOME. I have the poster. and it is AWESOME.
HERE IS THE TRAILER!
- a 3D presentation from Korea with robots and dinosaurs. the robots outshine the dinosaurs by far. 3D offerings are EVERYWHERE. audiences - get ready for your eyes to be exposed to this comeback technology from the 80s and let your mind explode with extra dimension (I think it's just a trend that will last 2 years max!)
- Main Street - great cast (Ellen Burstyn, Orlando Bloom to name a few) but we left after 30 mins into the film. BAD EDITING. TERRIBLE EDITING. Shots were misused, it should have started way later in the first scene, the opening montage was boring and repetetive. Could be great if it was edited properly
- Every Day - Liev Schreiber, Helen Hunt, Carla Gugino. Bad writing. Liev not right in this part (though a good actor), and Helen Hunt's hair was overdone which was a weird and mal-fitting choice. Left after 30 mins
- Company Men - Great film, Academy Contender - Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper. Strong acting, good story - VERY UNINTENTIONALLY SEXIST - Women were never portrayed in relevant roles, in real life women are executives and there were none. We should have seen a female lead along with the men, also there was a token black role - cheesy and the black dude isn't as real a character as the white leads. And the one female business woman had to get naked which wasn't necessary and that actress should have had to do that to tell this story. HOWEVER it was a moving, scary examination of corporate downsizing and layoffs. Ben Affleck's story ark was so extremely true to life, and this will strike a real nerve with those of us deeply afraid of the impact of this economy.
- Tamara Drewe - A really fun film made by Stephen Frears who knows what he's doing. The end is hokey, but otherwise it's great fun and will do well. Great ensemble cast.
- Of Gods and Men (Des Hommes Et Des Dieux) - French film about monks in a monastery in Algeria facing up against violent terrorists while trying to support the village they inhabit. We saw this one on the proper red carpet last night! So fun. The film is absolutely beautiful and moved me to tears. Very well acted. Loved those old men monks! Was so moving to see the actors and director receive a long standing ovation at the end of the film. The most brilliant scene is at the dinner table where we spend time with each character as we experience quiet moments with each as they evoke their viewpoint and experience. One criticism is the overuse of the technique to stay on shots a long time - he should cut a lot of shots shorter (even though its clearly a style choice) because it is being overused, and he will lose the audience and they will be bored or their minds will wander. He needs to keep the long shots in the important moments we need to feel most, and cut some landscape shots, etc because its taking away from the film! It's quite a moving experience a la Schindler's list (but very different style wise from that film)
Other happenings:
- got to see a panel with Doug Liman! He's such a competent director, I admire him so much! Hope to catch Fair Game. Will write about what he had to say about fair game - and the fact that he DP's many of his own films! - later
- Stephen Baldwin is poking around. I think his kids made short films here
- Saw Javier Bardem walk into his press conference!
- Visited Grasse. Got rained on :(
- So far the highest scoring films in the festival are Mike Leigh's Another Year - and 2nd highest is the film I saw, Of Gods and Men. Biutiful by Innaritu and with Bardem scored very very low! Worst score so far is yakuza film Outrage by Kitano- and Kiarostami's film with Juliette Binoche got mixed reviews.
Ok bye now.
Friday, May 14, 2010
I wanted to take a break from movie business and learning the ins and outs of the film market for a moment and watch a movie at this Cannes Film Festival. I'm really interested in seeing some of the films that will premiere in the Lumiere (that's the glamorous theatre) - especially Stephen Frears and Doug Liman's new films. Also interested in seeing Woody Allen's, Inarritu (sp?) and Mike Leigh's. Couple of other films playing on the market look good like Blue Valentine (I will try to see that) and The Kids are Alright (I missed that cause I was being important for a minute).
Up until 5:30 today I hadn't seen any films in Cannes yet. (The Fantastic Mr Fox on the plane was Fantastic. It's Complicated and Crazy Heart were 'eh') At 5:10pm I was charged 5 Euros and 60 cents for a glass of perrier in the Hotel Gray du'Albion.
AND AT 5:30 I SAW:
National Lampoon: Dirty Movie
Yep.
oh you want a review?
ok. you.
It's actually got a lot of hilarious moments - surprising. Love everything Chris Meloni ever does. I think he could make Mein Kompf funny. The film is good, aside from the part where they degrade women beyond being funny, and beyond the way the other groups of people they make fun of are degraded. Each group that's made fun of is addressed and questioned, but the degradation of women is never questioned for a second, making it even more offensive. I especially love their depiction of an all male film crew ... etc. A movie like this you'd say, "yeah but it offends everyone!" it does - and it is totally funny yes - I recommend it as the PERFECT thing to play at parties - easy to get while drinking. There's some priceless whacky moments. And it's a really cheap movie, which I think audiences will notice and won't care. Still I'd like not to be sucker punched by sexist comedies all the damn time. It would make me happy not to be! The tits in the movie don't help and could definitely be removed (people stopped laughing during those parts and it slows the pace of the film), as well as calling the dumb blondes "sweety" errrr anyhow - there are some priceless fun moments and it has it's place in your dvd player when you want a stupid funny movie. Will kill in frat houses and belongs at parties. Viva La France.
PS - NYC comedians Livia Scott and Todd Levin were in the movie! And I've seen the seller of the film Mystery Team advertise their movie, so that's fun to see familiar faces on the poster. And ... hmm other comedy news. Seen Andy Serkis cast in a couple new comedies, and something with Isla Fisher, and something with ... I forget, time to eat a baguette. AU REVIOREE
Up until 5:30 today I hadn't seen any films in Cannes yet. (The Fantastic Mr Fox on the plane was Fantastic. It's Complicated and Crazy Heart were 'eh') At 5:10pm I was charged 5 Euros and 60 cents for a glass of perrier in the Hotel Gray du'Albion.
AND AT 5:30 I SAW:
National Lampoon: Dirty Movie
Yep.
oh you want a review?
ok. you.
It's actually got a lot of hilarious moments - surprising. Love everything Chris Meloni ever does. I think he could make Mein Kompf funny. The film is good, aside from the part where they degrade women beyond being funny, and beyond the way the other groups of people they make fun of are degraded. Each group that's made fun of is addressed and questioned, but the degradation of women is never questioned for a second, making it even more offensive. I especially love their depiction of an all male film crew ... etc. A movie like this you'd say, "yeah but it offends everyone!" it does - and it is totally funny yes - I recommend it as the PERFECT thing to play at parties - easy to get while drinking. There's some priceless whacky moments. And it's a really cheap movie, which I think audiences will notice and won't care. Still I'd like not to be sucker punched by sexist comedies all the damn time. It would make me happy not to be! The tits in the movie don't help and could definitely be removed (people stopped laughing during those parts and it slows the pace of the film), as well as calling the dumb blondes "sweety" errrr anyhow - there are some priceless fun moments and it has it's place in your dvd player when you want a stupid funny movie. Will kill in frat houses and belongs at parties. Viva La France.
PS - NYC comedians Livia Scott and Todd Levin were in the movie! And I've seen the seller of the film Mystery Team advertise their movie, so that's fun to see familiar faces on the poster. And ... hmm other comedy news. Seen Andy Serkis cast in a couple new comedies, and something with Isla Fisher, and something with ... I forget, time to eat a baguette. AU REVIOREE
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
no time
only time for trying to finish an edit of my film and then feeling badly about self - note to people: filmmaking, probably many creative processes, involves LOTS and LOTS of beating yourself up about not being where you want to be yet. Just sayin!
Leaving for Cannes on Sunday!! YEAH
A couple things:
Something we did in camera class
These are fundies
Marina Abromovich lady makes people cry by looking at them in a museum. Oh these crazy modern times!
LEARN SOMETHING
A great job opportunity!
Hunter S Thompson really hated contracts.
OK THAT'S ALL I HAVE TIME FOR RIGHT NOW SORRY.
PS you can see a screening of my 7 min comedy short film: Saving Mr Whiskers - starring Will Hines, Eli Newell, Ann Carr, GL Douglas, Madison (my niece), and Tiger the cat.
Leaving for Cannes on Sunday!! YEAH
A couple things:
Something we did in camera class
Lighting Exercise from Jessica dela Merced on Vimeo.
A girl bored with her life turns to her imagination...and Lady Gaga
Starring Heather Fink
Sexy BG dancers: Ryan Johnson, Greg Lemaire, and Charles Rogers
Director and Camera Op- Jess dela Merced
DP- Ed Barnes
Crew- Janelli's 2nd section woot woot!
Shot on super 16mm film
These are fundies
Marina Abromovich lady makes people cry by looking at them in a museum. Oh these crazy modern times!
LEARN SOMETHING
A great job opportunity!
Hunter S Thompson really hated contracts.
OK THAT'S ALL I HAVE TIME FOR RIGHT NOW SORRY.
PS you can see a screening of my 7 min comedy short film: Saving Mr Whiskers - starring Will Hines, Eli Newell, Ann Carr, GL Douglas, Madison (my niece), and Tiger the cat.
There will be screenings of the 1st year films in NYU's Grad Film program on Thursday May 6 from 3pm-9pm, and Friday 11am - 5pm.
Mine will be showing during the 7:30pm block.
Thursday May 6
@ NYU Tisch Building
721 Broadway @ corner of Waverly (between 4th and 8th streets)
room 109 (ground floor)
SUBWAYS: NR to 8th Street, 6 to Astor Place; ACE or BDFV to W4th
Street parking is often available after 6pm.
Friday, April 23, 2010
I'm sitting on the floor
with my computer
because I'm emptying out this whackhouse apartment I've been living in all year. It's a bit floody and ick. Yesterday Obama HAD to give some speech on my block at Cooper(Pooper?) Union and so the block was closed off and it needlessly interfered with my moving process. Isn't it fun how politics are nothing but speeches and press junkets and nonsense? Yes it's very fun for excited young leaders of tomorrow, and excited olds who grabbed up their new suits for today and got chances to pretend things are important and urgenter than usual. Putting up baracades and talking on walkie talkies and making different lines for different people. WITNESS THINE IMPORTANCE!
Anyways. Just finishing up my first year of grad film. Editing the current project, which is a lovely process of self hate and fucking "fuck!"s yelled at footages or others who arent present, tickled by moments of oooh that's nice.
I'm not saying too much here - just been tired and not blogminded lately.
But I'll show you some things:
- Maniki
- Top Grossing Restaurants
- Green Bay Packers Green and Gold Men's Striped Gamebibs
because I'm emptying out this whackhouse apartment I've been living in all year. It's a bit floody and ick. Yesterday Obama HAD to give some speech on my block at Cooper(Pooper?) Union and so the block was closed off and it needlessly interfered with my moving process. Isn't it fun how politics are nothing but speeches and press junkets and nonsense? Yes it's very fun for excited young leaders of tomorrow, and excited olds who grabbed up their new suits for today and got chances to pretend things are important and urgenter than usual. Putting up baracades and talking on walkie talkies and making different lines for different people. WITNESS THINE IMPORTANCE!
Anyways. Just finishing up my first year of grad film. Editing the current project, which is a lovely process of self hate and fucking "fuck!"s yelled at footages or others who arent present, tickled by moments of oooh that's nice.
I'm not saying too much here - just been tired and not blogminded lately.
But I'll show you some things:
- Maniki
- Top Grossing Restaurants
- Green Bay Packers Green and Gold Men's Striped Gamebibs
Thursday, April 08, 2010
its happening its happening
shooting my short film tomorrow!
this is the most effort and planning I've ever put into anything I've written/directed to date!
argegehghhghghgh
this is the most effort and planning I've ever put into anything I've written/directed to date!
argegehghhghghgh
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Movie Reviews: Greenberg, Precious, The Informant!, A Serious Man, The Hurt Locker, Julie and Julia
Greenberg
- Actress Greta Gerwig was OUTSTANDING in this. She should be nominated next year for her performance.
- Ben Stiller plays a character who is hateable, but it's all very real, and comes around full circle to the end.
- The end moment is ok, not going to satisfy a lot of viewers. I get the idea that director Noah Baumbach has become a masterful storyteller, but has not yet mastered the art of the ending. In some ways it works. Not a big deal enough to ruin the movie.
- I really appreciate what is being explored in Stiller's character. Sometimes we are jerks. It takes him time to open his mind to the reality of his flaws.
- This film has achieved the rare ability to be very truthful in its portrayal of certain relationships and human vulnerabilities.
Precious
- Really well directed, the shots were all interesting, the casting was strong, and the acting was as good as it could be
BUT
- the writing is pretty average stuff. I CANT STAND when writers exploit situations like rape, drugs, violence, and abuse to force drama into a story. Precious could have just been poor and fat and you could have still had an amazing story.
- I'm not saying those topics shouldn't be explored in film; but that's just it, exploring them is ok, exploiting them because you can't write without forced shock value, it just isn't talent.
A Serious Man
- It's about a man alienated by the absurdity of the outside world
- My next film is about a man alienated by the absurdity of the outside world
So that was helpful to see. The way the Coen brothers handled it was masterful as usual. There was something I didn't love about it even though it's a well done film. I think it was the performance of the main actor. I'm exploring a similar character in my film and have cast Will Hines as the lead. I must say I like what Will is doing with the role much more! I must also say I didn't see this movie till after I wrote the script, and what happens in it is much different. We shoot April 9-11!
The Informant!
- Soderbergh. Hmm. Interesting director. This movie has the cheekyness of Oceans movies and is really tongue in cheek. Cheeks. Very stylized and poppy. Liked it, didn't love it.
- It's a good story and really inventive how he approached a true story almost like a superhero movie.
- My favorite thing is the use of the main character's thoughts. Often times voiceover is a lazy choice when something should be shown instead of told - but here it's a great layer, especially because the thoughts don't always lineup with the viewer's experience.
- Matt Damon does a good job. He's proven to be a pretty solid performer. Extremely versatile, easy to cast.
- Lots of comedian parts: Scott Adsit, Patton Oswalt, Joel McHale, Paul F Tompkins
- Ann Cusack has the same voice as Joan Cusack
- The real thing: Read about the topic of the movie - Mark Whitacre - totally insane! Read this part. (it's a spoiler for the movie though)
The Hurt Locker
- Thought it was well done. Well Shot, the best thing about it is the perspective - the idea of being addicted to war. Making a statement that some people want to fight. Some people like it.
- But it wasn't the best movie of 2009 for me, though it was way better than Avatar. To me, the best movie was The Messenger, also about the current war.
Julie and Julia
- Would have preferred to see just the life story of Julia Child. God I love her, always did. I love Julia Child because I love cooking, but also because she is one of the most delightful characters this world has ever seen.
- The Julie story is about a girl who blogs about cooking all of Julia's recipes and then gets a book deal. It's annoying to see her story because she's not portrayed as particularly likable or interesting. In fact, Julie's character - however close to the real Julie or not - has it all come to her so easily. She seems bland, spoiled, and it's not really rewarding to see her win at the end and get the movie/book deal that we are now watching. I'm not sure if it's because the real person is this way, or the portrayal is this way. Either way - isn't it damn annoying when people get book deals from coming up with some half-brained blog idea? I love my success stories to come from hard work. I like Larry Flynt's success story better than this one.
- It is interesting to see "blogging" treated realistically in a movie. Sign of the times. Often times movies don't know how to handle social realities such as the small details of life especially when it involves technology and internet use.
- I still give it mad props for showing how delightful Julia Child and french cooking are. I'm also really interested in the book "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" the first real gourmet handbook for the American housewife.
- The real Julia/Julia blog.
- Julia Child
She was 6'2".
She had a really funny voice
She was full of joy
She was funny
She had more bravado in the kitchen than anyone who was ever on tv, and could handle a chicken carcass like nobody's business
She made magical things and influenced modern food culture in very big ways
- Actress Greta Gerwig was OUTSTANDING in this. She should be nominated next year for her performance.
- Ben Stiller plays a character who is hateable, but it's all very real, and comes around full circle to the end.
- The end moment is ok, not going to satisfy a lot of viewers. I get the idea that director Noah Baumbach has become a masterful storyteller, but has not yet mastered the art of the ending. In some ways it works. Not a big deal enough to ruin the movie.
- I really appreciate what is being explored in Stiller's character. Sometimes we are jerks. It takes him time to open his mind to the reality of his flaws.
- This film has achieved the rare ability to be very truthful in its portrayal of certain relationships and human vulnerabilities.
Precious
- Really well directed, the shots were all interesting, the casting was strong, and the acting was as good as it could be
BUT
- the writing is pretty average stuff. I CANT STAND when writers exploit situations like rape, drugs, violence, and abuse to force drama into a story. Precious could have just been poor and fat and you could have still had an amazing story.
- I'm not saying those topics shouldn't be explored in film; but that's just it, exploring them is ok, exploiting them because you can't write without forced shock value, it just isn't talent.
A Serious Man
- It's about a man alienated by the absurdity of the outside world
- My next film is about a man alienated by the absurdity of the outside world
So that was helpful to see. The way the Coen brothers handled it was masterful as usual. There was something I didn't love about it even though it's a well done film. I think it was the performance of the main actor. I'm exploring a similar character in my film and have cast Will Hines as the lead. I must say I like what Will is doing with the role much more! I must also say I didn't see this movie till after I wrote the script, and what happens in it is much different. We shoot April 9-11!
The Informant!
- Soderbergh. Hmm. Interesting director. This movie has the cheekyness of Oceans movies and is really tongue in cheek. Cheeks. Very stylized and poppy. Liked it, didn't love it.
- It's a good story and really inventive how he approached a true story almost like a superhero movie.
- My favorite thing is the use of the main character's thoughts. Often times voiceover is a lazy choice when something should be shown instead of told - but here it's a great layer, especially because the thoughts don't always lineup with the viewer's experience.
- Matt Damon does a good job. He's proven to be a pretty solid performer. Extremely versatile, easy to cast.
- Lots of comedian parts: Scott Adsit, Patton Oswalt, Joel McHale, Paul F Tompkins
- Ann Cusack has the same voice as Joan Cusack
- The real thing: Read about the topic of the movie - Mark Whitacre - totally insane! Read this part. (it's a spoiler for the movie though)
The Hurt Locker
- Thought it was well done. Well Shot, the best thing about it is the perspective - the idea of being addicted to war. Making a statement that some people want to fight. Some people like it.
- But it wasn't the best movie of 2009 for me, though it was way better than Avatar. To me, the best movie was The Messenger, also about the current war.
Julie and Julia
- Would have preferred to see just the life story of Julia Child. God I love her, always did. I love Julia Child because I love cooking, but also because she is one of the most delightful characters this world has ever seen.
- The Julie story is about a girl who blogs about cooking all of Julia's recipes and then gets a book deal. It's annoying to see her story because she's not portrayed as particularly likable or interesting. In fact, Julie's character - however close to the real Julie or not - has it all come to her so easily. She seems bland, spoiled, and it's not really rewarding to see her win at the end and get the movie/book deal that we are now watching. I'm not sure if it's because the real person is this way, or the portrayal is this way. Either way - isn't it damn annoying when people get book deals from coming up with some half-brained blog idea? I love my success stories to come from hard work. I like Larry Flynt's success story better than this one.
- It is interesting to see "blogging" treated realistically in a movie. Sign of the times. Often times movies don't know how to handle social realities such as the small details of life especially when it involves technology and internet use.
- I still give it mad props for showing how delightful Julia Child and french cooking are. I'm also really interested in the book "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" the first real gourmet handbook for the American housewife.
- The real Julia/Julia blog.
- Julia Child
She was 6'2".
She had a really funny voice
She was full of joy
She was funny
She had more bravado in the kitchen than anyone who was ever on tv, and could handle a chicken carcass like nobody's business
She made magical things and influenced modern food culture in very big ways
It looks different now
This blog. Nothin spectacular, but I had to make it ok up in here. FOR ALL THE READERS!
Nah, this blog has occasional perusers these days. But it had its day. Boy oh boy did it have it's day. Back in those days, being a blogger or having a blog was worth having a conversation about. These days it seems to be more of a functional tool.
Or at least this one is. I'm about to write some movie reviews! Watch out.
Nah, this blog has occasional perusers these days. But it had its day. Boy oh boy did it have it's day. Back in those days, being a blogger or having a blog was worth having a conversation about. These days it seems to be more of a functional tool.
Or at least this one is. I'm about to write some movie reviews! Watch out.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
this blog is a visual graveyard
Started in 2004, it's been around 6 years now.
This new "Echo" thing you might be seeing is because my old commenting system haloscan no longer exists.
The banner is old, the colors are drab. Sorry people this isn't a visually rich experience. I'd like it to be prettier but haven't had the time.
The time will come soon, it's just barely professional.
This guy is working on building me a better thing.
And here's a photo of me from my high school graduation:
I'm on the right.
This new "Echo" thing you might be seeing is because my old commenting system haloscan no longer exists.
The banner is old, the colors are drab. Sorry people this isn't a visually rich experience. I'd like it to be prettier but haven't had the time.
The time will come soon, it's just barely professional.
This guy is working on building me a better thing.
And here's a photo of me from my high school graduation:
I'm on the right.
Movie Review: Avatar
It sucked and here's why:
- It should have been a kids movie and been consistent with that tone. That means no using the word "bitch" all the time (they are also probably not going to be saying it that way in the future) and NO SEX SCENE WTF!
- The characters were cartoonish - the bad guys where cheesy as hell - WHICH WORKS IN A KIDS MOVIE! - take Small Soldiers for example - great kids movie, cheesy bad guy totally works.
COME ON JAMES CAMERON - You made my favorite action movies of all time - Terminator 1 and 2 - that dialogue was adult, sophistocated when it needed to be, and dealt with the "future" appropriately. It was a great script. This was more expensive and terribly written, terribly acted. The Terminator movies were well acted. So honestly what the hell was Cameron thinking. UNOBTAINIUM???? That's what it's called? Right.
I even liked Titanic.
- Yes, it was "enjoyable" but so was Ratatouille and that was well written with strong acting and solid voice over performance.
Ferngully was a better movie when it comes to rainforest love stories.
And killing all those US soldiers during wartime? And it's being embraced by American families? Um ... ok.
- It should have been a kids movie and been consistent with that tone. That means no using the word "bitch" all the time (they are also probably not going to be saying it that way in the future) and NO SEX SCENE WTF!
- The characters were cartoonish - the bad guys where cheesy as hell - WHICH WORKS IN A KIDS MOVIE! - take Small Soldiers for example - great kids movie, cheesy bad guy totally works.
COME ON JAMES CAMERON - You made my favorite action movies of all time - Terminator 1 and 2 - that dialogue was adult, sophistocated when it needed to be, and dealt with the "future" appropriately. It was a great script. This was more expensive and terribly written, terribly acted. The Terminator movies were well acted. So honestly what the hell was Cameron thinking. UNOBTAINIUM???? That's what it's called? Right.
I even liked Titanic.
- Yes, it was "enjoyable" but so was Ratatouille and that was well written with strong acting and solid voice over performance.
Ferngully was a better movie when it comes to rainforest love stories.
And killing all those US soldiers during wartime? And it's being embraced by American families? Um ... ok.
And about me?
I'm totally exhausted, must rejuvenate.
- We go into production period for our next shoots on Friday so that means that from now till April 11th I'm shooting films!
- Then we have a month to edit. (Till May)
- I'm also moving out of my crappy apartment by May 1st.
- And on May 9th I'm going to the Cannes Film Festival, and will be in Europe till June 8th when I'll be visiting friends and family.
AND THEN WHO KNOWS WHAT AFTER THAT! I'll have my stuff stored at my parents' house in the meantime. Hoping for a summer job before the next semester starts up. Maybe I'll work on a movie somewheres?
Things I'm addicted to right now:
- the snooze button. I go for 5 more minutes OVER and OVEr
- Chocolate - I think it's really an addiciton. Every day there's an intense craving and I feed it. I don't think it's a problem but I do find it odd to have such an intense craving on a regular basis.
I'm totally exhausted, must rejuvenate.
- We go into production period for our next shoots on Friday so that means that from now till April 11th I'm shooting films!
- Then we have a month to edit. (Till May)
- I'm also moving out of my crappy apartment by May 1st.
- And on May 9th I'm going to the Cannes Film Festival, and will be in Europe till June 8th when I'll be visiting friends and family.
AND THEN WHO KNOWS WHAT AFTER THAT! I'll have my stuff stored at my parents' house in the meantime. Hoping for a summer job before the next semester starts up. Maybe I'll work on a movie somewheres?
Things I'm addicted to right now:
- the snooze button. I go for 5 more minutes OVER and OVEr
- Chocolate - I think it's really an addiciton. Every day there's an intense craving and I feed it. I don't think it's a problem but I do find it odd to have such an intense craving on a regular basis.
Knowledges - random links I've been hanging on to for you.
If you'd like to hear a great perspective on life and have your heart warmed - watch the bottom video from Rogert Ebert on Oprah in this post.
Alexander McQueen's last collection
spectacular.
Crazy statue about justice with a map of a concentration camp. Unexpected from such a statue.
Deniro on Acting
"The talent is in the choice" - Adler
NY's Fashion Week runway shows music playlists.
These are burgers wrapped in bacon and cheese with hot dogs sticking out of them. They take the pain away.
Pattern is Movement "Light of the World" mp3
Tim and Eric Awesome show came back
Alexander McQueen's last collection
spectacular.
Crazy statue about justice with a map of a concentration camp. Unexpected from such a statue.
Deniro on Acting
"The talent is in the choice" - Adler
NY's Fashion Week runway shows music playlists.
These are burgers wrapped in bacon and cheese with hot dogs sticking out of them. They take the pain away.
Pattern is Movement "Light of the World" mp3
Tim and Eric Awesome show came back
OFFICIAL TIM AND ERIC AWESOME SHOW, GREAT JOB! SEASON CINCO PROMO! from Tim and Eric on Vimeo.
WISH I HAD TIME TO WATCH IT :( they are my heroes.
Hey, want more stupidity?
Here:
What's up with that puppy, right?
- awesome list of sad heartbreaky songs
- a pretty crazy story about a woman who had sex with her brother - unlike any story I've heard before ... glad I don't have a brother?
- Priceless video of James Brown drunk
Saturday, February 20, 2010
NEW VIDEO: Tito Santana Documentary 5 minute teaser cut
DVD cover by Shayna Kulik of Pattern Pulp
Hi everybody!
I filmed a documentary this winter about my hometown hero Tito Santana - AKA Señor Solis
Señor Solis 5 minute teaser from leatherfink on Vimeo.
Thank you Tito Santana, my hometown of Roxbury NJ, EMS Principal Nittel, and everyone involved.
(click here to watch it in a bigger size.)
This may be online for a limited time so watch now :)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
An overwhelming amount of items found inside the internet, all good.
Sara Benincasa wrote about how I spent a night at the Plaza with her and Mandy Stadtmiller for a story. It was a truly wonderful experience. I wasn't supposed to post about it before. But Sara did, so ... we'll see if someone tells me to take it down :)
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When will society accept that all straight guys aren't schlubs who trudge around in a testosterone haze, resenting their overbearing girlfriends? Some of us enjoy being emasculated; it's actually sort of relaxing after centuries of oppressing everyone all the time.
From this well written superbowl recap via gawker.
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Sean Patton is a local comedian, friend, and sincerely talented dude! Check him out on Fallon:
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Please give your money and support to the Boner Center.
The John H. Boner Community Center - your community center - serves Indianapolis' near Eastside. Every contribution supports the center's work by providing the financial resources needed to help continue individuals move towards self reliance and encourages people to an improved quality of life!
By providing its many services and programs, the John H. Boner Community Center is a vital element to the quality of life of its residents. Without your support, the Boner Center cannot exist.
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CNN takes on "the G Spot"
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A super cool video Ted Talk about making sounds visual via their natural vibration patterns.
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Rare Photos of famous people. A very random, fun list.
George Clooney
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Katheryn Bigelow GO GET EM TIGER
Kathryn Bigelow became the first-ever female winner of the Directors' Guild of America (DGA) award for best direction in a feature film.
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Arcade Fire's incredible fusion of web and film for Black Mirror, they did something incredibly impressive with the web before for Neon Bible.
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Ratatouille is one of the best films I've seen. So completely fun and well executed, great story. I'm not so into seeing animated disney features. Now I get it.
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My friend Raphael Bob-Waskberg showed me how he's even MORE talented than I knew before after I saw his play the Mike and Morgan show. His writing was phenomenal - mark my words - this man can write extremely well, and anyone who gives him money, like a movie studio, will be rewarded. RBW is a comedy writer/performer best known for his group Olde English.
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I don't care if Die Antwoord is South Africa's Ali G and a joke, the songs are fun and they look great. Also, props to the Dutch language, and I heard them playing the Ninja song at some trendy sceney dance night. Cory Kennedy and entourage was also there so we experienced a Nylon magazine photoshoot come to life. That was after having dinner at the Waverly Inn, a notch on the New Yorker belt.
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AND FINALLY A SONG
Gang Bang Suicide by Broken Social Scene
Monday, February 01, 2010
A Tale of 2 Hamburgers
I had fun with my Aesthetics II: Production Design Homework where we had to compare 2 images and discuss how color effects the feeling/impact of the imagery.
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The burger on top is beautiful, sumptuous, exciting. I want to take a bite of that juicy happy burger. The reds and greens are fresh and inviting. The yellow is friendly. The toppings have a glorious sheen. They contrast against a gently colored bun. The burger itself is there, but its big bad brown color isn't as prominent.
The burger on bottom is a burger of shame. This is the burger of the bullemics. It's dark and ominous, bacon and cheese drooling down the eerie grayed brown sides of the meat. The whole scene is just depressing, shadowed, and bleak. This burger is someone's painful memory and shameful night. This is the burger that you ate when you got that nasty VD on that night when you drank too much and took those pills because you were trying to forget. Right?
--------------
The burger on top is beautiful, sumptuous, exciting. I want to take a bite of that juicy happy burger. The reds and greens are fresh and inviting. The yellow is friendly. The toppings have a glorious sheen. They contrast against a gently colored bun. The burger itself is there, but its big bad brown color isn't as prominent.
The burger on bottom is a burger of shame. This is the burger of the bullemics. It's dark and ominous, bacon and cheese drooling down the eerie grayed brown sides of the meat. The whole scene is just depressing, shadowed, and bleak. This burger is someone's painful memory and shameful night. This is the burger that you ate when you got that nasty VD on that night when you drank too much and took those pills because you were trying to forget. Right?
Friday, January 29, 2010
ha! woody allen's son is hot
I find it hilarious just thinking about how weird it must be for Woody Allen to make a hot alpha male offspring
Ronan Farrow
Ronan Farrow
Thursday, January 28, 2010
some lovelies
Calla Spring 2010 is beautiful.
I love the model in the photos too - the lighting on her skin, her hairstyle.
Want these outfits.
jj - let go mp3
I'm doing standup tomorrow night. Then I think that's it till summertime, the semester is very soon swallowing me whole. But I like being swallowed! Wait. Yeah, no, definitely. Like I'm inside a big wet esophageal tube of life experience.
Rockstars were nice young and in black and white
OK. BACK TO THE HOMEWORK.
I love the model in the photos too - the lighting on her skin, her hairstyle.
Want these outfits.
jj - let go mp3
I'm doing standup tomorrow night. Then I think that's it till summertime, the semester is very soon swallowing me whole. But I like being swallowed! Wait. Yeah, no, definitely. Like I'm inside a big wet esophageal tube of life experience.
Rockstars were nice young and in black and white
OK. BACK TO THE HOMEWORK.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Todd Solondz' Happiness
I just saw Todd Solondz' Happiness for the first time and loved it. The opening scene was my favorite part. Jon Lovitz gives an impeccable performance and the fact that Solondz was able to get that performance out of him is truly impressive. John Lovitz is perfectly talented, he just rarely does such honest, emotionally driven work. Todd Solondz teaches directing at NYU in the 2nd or 3rd year of the graduate program - I MUST HAVE HIM! I hope so anyway.
Aside from that the film is disturbing, fun, hilarious in a sometimes over the top way (which is funny because it's a bunch of subtle moments layered over big ones). He finds humor in the painful moments - which is something I intend to do as a filmmaker - though I'm less "quirky" about my storytelling. This isn't a movie to watch with your parents, hopefully.
Using this as an example:
And that's not nearly the most disturbing moment of the film.
Happiness deals a lot with sexual repression, perversion, and sexual angst. It all builds to the perfect finish.
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