Friday, July 11, 2014

Success! THANK YOU!

I'm so deeply excited to announce that the Kickstarter campaign for my upcoming feature film "Inside You" was a success!  I'm incredibly grateful to supporters and am so excited to shoot this film in September.

For those of you who missed the deadline to give via Kickstarter and still want to support the film, you may donate here:






Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Dear UCB and comedy community,

Do you remember the first time you saw a show at the UCB theatre?  Do you remember your first Del Close Marathon?

I remember the hot summer of 2001, waiting in line at the UCB theatre on 22nd street to watch some crazy wrestling improv show with Rob Huebel, Rob Riggle, Amy Poehler, Horatio Sanz and others.  At the time, Horatio was the only really famous one.  Afterwards the crowd went to a nearby bar called McManus, and the people I just idolized were hanging out and drinking beers together.  I was thrilled in 2002 when my college comedy group “Capitol goga” performed at the Del Close Improv Marathon.  We wore matching shirts.  Serious stuff. Since then I've taken every improv class at the theatre, auditioned for Harold teams just like many of you, and performed at many sketch and standup shows at the theatre.


On our way to perform at the 2002 DCM.
Over the years, we’ve witnessed the UCB transform into a phenomenon unlike anything else.  The UCB theatre moved from 22nd to 26th street, and then on to LA.  Now there’s even shiny elevators and a corporate building instead of running operations from that dingy 22nd street basement!  We lost great clubs like Rififi and Mo Pitkins, but we gained the UCB East and new improv theatres like The PIT and The Magnet.  


I did standup for years in NYC while spending all of my money from dayjobs on film equipment and UCB classes, performing and shooting comedy videos on my nights and weekends.  Eventually I began NYU’s Grad Film program, and I gave up every other comedy discipline to focus on film writing and directing.  It was heartbreaking to separate myself from that world and watch it grow and thrive without me, but I was determined that my new skills and expertise would pay off. I'm shooting my first feature film this September in NYC. It's a comedy called "Inside You" about a couple that switches bodies magically in the tone of modern comedies like Louis, Girls, and Apatow movies.

Now is a critical moment when I need your support.  Please consider backing this project on kickstarter and telling people about it.  Even $1 donations are meaningful.  They are a vote of confidence, and the amount of backers helps create visibility.


My hope is that you realize “she’s just like me!” and think, “if I’m in her shoes, I hope that the community supports me too.”  I’ll always tell writers and actors that the UCB theatre is the number one place to develop their craft.  And sometimes I’ll tell humans that improv classes are the number one place to develop their humanity.


You have been a part of my work from the beginning, and I hope to keep you with me every step of the way.

Thank you,

Heather Fink




Saturday, June 14, 2014

My very first kickstarter is LIVE!






www.InsideYouMovie.com

PREPARE YOUR BUNGHOLES
for Heather Fink's Birthday Party Film Event Comedy Variety Show

Lulu's in Greenpoint: 113 Franklin St
Thursday June 19
8pm

FEATURING
Hannibal Buress
Chris Gethard
Jacqueline Novak
Jamie Lee
Sunita Mani
Rob Lathan
Anya Marina
AND MORE

Free - No Cover Charge
But those who make donations to Fink's feature film "Inside You" kickstarter will be handsomely rewarded (it’s not a catch ok, you can have fun anyway even if you are a turd and don’t give anything).  Also FREE PIZZA from Lulu's when you buy a drink.  insideyoumovie@gmail.com

Monday, June 09, 2014

Pain Anniversaries and Perspective

“Heather you know what today is.” said my mom

It’s the 4 year anniversary of my dad’s stroke.

This is the only anniversary of a painful thing that I keep track of, perhaps you have yours.

Today felt like two other things: the day before my birthday, and the day I intended to launch my kickstarter but I had a glitch, now it’s launching tomorrow morning on my birthday.

So in 2010, on my 29th birthday I was in the hospital where I was born, listening to the emergency helicopters land on the roof, alongside other beeps.  Sitting by my dad’s side as my sister, mom and I took turns, I volunteered for the wee hours.  He kept waking up, looking around, confused.  Fresh out of the stroke his body was mostly paralyzed and he couldn’t speak at all.  His eyes would open wide and he would look around the room and I thought about how scary that must have been to wake up and not know what the FUCK is happening to you, why can’t I speak, why can’t I move?  So every time he did that I would say to him “You just had a stroke, you are in the hospital.” or something like that.

A lot has happened these past four years.  His right side is paralyzed.  He can say the words: Hi, Bye, Yes, No, Ok.  He can write the first letter of a word sometimes.  He has his memory, personality, and can read and comprehend - the part of his brain that takes in language is different from the part that puts it out.  His motor skills are impaired so he can’t just learn sign language.  He cannot use the bathroom without assistance.  My mother has to brush his teeth, cut his food, transfer him in and out of various chairs, beds and cars.

He cannot be left alone, and he has constant needs that he cannot take care of himself.  The world is not built for a wheelchair, his medicine is at least 800 a month WITH insurance, and all of his handicapped things like a chair lift up the stairs and a special van for the special chair cost thousands of dollars.  My mom doesn’t get to relax.  The idea of a vacation is so difficult since the world isn’t built for wheelchairs and especially not most places you like to visit, my mom is exhausted at the idea of trying.

But I call my parents just about every day and I try to visit them once a week.  They are funny.  They are loving.  They are alive.  They raised me in an incredibly supportive, loving, and safe, even if ecclectic, environment.  I’ve had the opportunity to live a life full of adventure and have seen and experienced some of the most incredible things life has to offer.

The number one thing I got from all of this is perspective.
What is BAD really?  What is DIFFICULT really?  What is personal FREEDOM really?

Those voices on the end of the phone are so cute and vibrant and loving.

Some people are able bodied and they are totally miserable to be around.  Which is worse?

These generous people, my parents - I’m lucky to have them, and I’m lucky they are alive, and I’m lucky they are so silly and I’m lucky that I know they love me.  I know not everyone has that.

And they have me too. Maybe one day I’ll be big and successful and then they can have piña coladas on a comfy beach and someone that helps bring them over. On the one hand money isn’t everything, maybe you are someone who has lots of money and no happiness. You can’t force happiness no matter how hard you spend. And so then you need perspective.

And so in that light, the value of perspective shines.


Saturday, May 24, 2014

Why won't people date me? A reaction to today's tragedy.

What happened today is extremely sad and disturbing.  I think there's other people out there who feel upset about dating and girls or boys "not wanting them" so I want to talk to those people.

There are many different reasons why many of us haven’t found someone to be with.  

1) Maybe you are unattractive.  
The solution to that is to work on being the most attractive person you can be, examine: your health, your personality (are you pleasant to be around), what you have to offer (do you have any skills or hobbies? do you have anything to say? do you know things?).  Those things can all be worked on: exercise, eating right, seeing a therapist, meditating, education, travel, learning a skill, working, volunteering - the list goes on and on and there’s a million things in your control that can make you more attractive!

I truly believe that you will attract someone who is as attractive as you.  And attractiveness is a reflection of the efforts you make in life.  If you are kind, you can attract someone kind.  Don’t expect a supermodel if you don’t look like one.  Maybe you can “get one” based on your personality or money BUT it’s unfair to EXPECT something that you can’t offer AND perhaps your values are screwed up (you just want someone for superficial reasons and expect someone to want you for the real you?!).  
How can you expect someone to love you for absolutely no reason?  You have to give someone happiness and love in order to get happiness and love in return.  If you don’t like someone for a REAL reason, and you just want them for their money or looks, you won’t have solved your loneliness or desire problem.  You are just being stupid, and you know better.  You do.

2) Maybe you are very attractive.
BUT
You aren’t good at flirting or dating.  
Maybe that’s a confidence thing.  Maybe you could observe others, or just become more aware of social cues, or really think about the kinds of things that make you smile, and think about how to do that with others.   Or maybe you have a hard time seeing the opposite sex as just regular people.  Don’t put them on a pedestal or treat them as alien creatures.  Treat them as friends and family.  Just talk to them like you would talk to any person.  Speak to them how you would like to be spoken to.  If you're awkward that's ok, it can be really cute, as long as you are SINCERE.  If they don’t like what you have to say, and you aren’t being a jerk - then maybe they aren’t very attractive or cool after all.  Don’t desire someone who doesn’t understand you or like the things you like.  That’s silly.

You will also have more to say, and be more natural at saying it, if you live a little.  Get out there and make experiences.  JUST DO THINGS ALREADY!  Don't be sheltered.  Do stuff.  There's all kinds of stuff to do.

You probably have to learn how to be friends with people from the opposite sex before you learn how to be attractive to them.  If you don't see them as normal people, you won't act normally around them, and you just might be creepy.  It's important to not be creepy.  People have natural instincts to protect themselves from harm, and romantic interactions are only possible when someone is comfortable enough to be vulnerable around you.

Important note: being pushy and forceful and not being able to sense how the other person feels - is extremely unattractive.  You have to learn social norms and understand people in order to make someone feel comfortable and interested in you.  You are desirable when someone is able to learn what is great about you, and then they have the opportunity to win you over!  You can make someone like you simply by showing them your best self, and creating the opportunity for that person to talk to you.  Don't repel them by being pushy, attract and entice them by being awesome.

3) Maybe you are very attractive AND you ARE good at dating and flirting.
But you just can’t find the right person.
This is a difficult one, but it's also normal and common, so give yourself a break.  You must accept that you can’t control what life brings your way, or who likes you, or how people act.  You can only control yourself.  You really must make it a priority to have a fulfilling and meaningful life outside of a relationship.  This can be challenging, but also very rewarding.  Appreciate the time you have to focus on your own projects and desires in life.  It’s really wonderful that love and sex are possible in life, but don’t stress out if you can’t find someone you want to do that with.  It doesn’t grow on trees.  Some people are less picky, or more lucky.  These are things you can’t help.  Life is mysterious and unpredictable.

I don't believe spending all of your time TRYING to date and meet people works very well, but obviously you won't meet anyone if you hide inside your house.  Balance is always healthy.

I do believe that the harder something is to achieve, the greater the reward.  I’m single still after a long time, and I feel attractive and that men like me - but I don’t feel something special with most men I meet - even if they are attractive, those special feelings are never guaranteed.  It happens once in a while and of course I enjoy it when it all works out.  Sure, I wish it happened all the time, that would be really fun.  But I can’t force my feelings, and I don't want to pretend to like someone, or settle for something less.  That's a recipe for disaster!  The loneliness that causes enhances my need to do great things on my own.  The fact that there’s no man around to support me has forced me to become a stronger and more capable person because I really have to face a lot of situations where I've got to be strong for myself, and figure out how to do something for myself.  I think that has a meaningful purpose in my life story, and that will influence how it all works out.  I also think that means that I have a lot more to give, and help me have a relationship out of desire and pleasure rather than necessity and dependency.  So those are all meaningful ways to look at that situation.

Good luck out there, kids.

FINAL NOTE


If you have the desire to hurt someone, please talk about it and try to figure it out.   Discussion and thought really help people let go of their anger and hurt. 

Expect that your life will include sadness and pain and learn how to accept and process those things!

You CAN have a life full of joy and meaning.  You MAY NOT be able to have the life that you WANT if what you WANT is unreasonable, unrealistic, or simply out of reach.  That doesn't matter.  You can still have a good life that didn't go the way you PLANNED because life is MAGIC and MAGIC CAN'T BE PLANNED!  

Do your best and life does the rest.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Beware the Fem-cho Garbage, ladies


It’s fine and wonderful to like makeup and cupcakes.  I like those things.  But when I look at those YouTube ads for the makeup lady and cooking and self esteem videos I’m grossed out.  Is THIS what a girl is?  I feel like this Pinteresty garbage is turning women’s brains into cute zombie mush.

I don’t like cute and I don’t like quirky.  I find "quirky" deeply repulsive in both men and women and I suspect I'm not alone.  Then again I’m pretty macho for a hetero woman.  But also not!  Hey I’m possibly the best manicured boom operator in the union!

Feminine isn’t pastel colors and those stupid freakin cake shop fonts they toss around.

True femininity is more subtle and personal than that.   It's those indescribable moments when someone catches you being a girl.  Or it's how you can't help but move your body.  The rest of it - the really surface stuff - much like superficial masculinity — ya know unjustified “macho” ness - is terrible.

So I don’t know what to call it - being Fem-cho?

It’s Fem-cho garbage, ladies.

Being CUTE isn’t about being the living embodiment of “girly home” magazine.  That shizz is just annoying.  Sometimes not annoying, but - too much of it makes you an empty lil cream puff.  Do your makeup so your face looks nice.  Spend extra time on cupcakes if it’s for someone special and you really enjoy it.  BUT FOR FARKS SAKE aside from making them for a special occasion, if you’re not an entrepreneur with your own cupcake business - IT’S KINDA LAME.
FILL YOUR BRAIN AND SOUL WITH LIFE.  

LIPGLOSS IS NICE FOR THE 10 SECONDS IT TAKES TO APPLY IT.  And I totally understand getting sucked into fun makeup times and girly stuff sometimes - it is fun and nothing to be ashamed of.  But - fluff is fluff.


Being a human being (remember girl, you are one of those) requires more than cuteness to do it right.  Ever notice how someone who comes off as too cute seems really fake?  That's because too much of it feels like a mask over the person's friggin soul.  Don't mask your soul with garbage!  Let 'er rip!!!  Healthy doses (HEALTHY DOSES!) mixed with real life experiences, honest human interaction, and some self-awareness (ask yourself the hard questions on a regular basis) and you won't be a vanilla pudding head fem-cho.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

I can only show you my face when it's smiling


Right people?

Listen, I'm all for being real and truthful over vapid and full of it - but I don't want that last blog post to be the most recent thing I posted, for all those who google me for one reason or another to find first and foremost.

A major message behind that post is that I want to reinforce the concept that experiencing depression, low points, or even thinking about suicide at some point in your life isn't something to be ashamed of.  Life isn't easy, and you are human, so you feel things.

But that wasn't a cry for help.  That was me trying to relate to you and say, hey - it's ok.  You can get past it.

I'm happy now

BECAUSE

I'm full speed ahead in Pre-Production for my feature film "Inside You" which will shoot in NYC in September.  I'M SO HAPPY I WROTE A CHEAPER SCRIPT WHICH IS SIMPLE AND UNCOMPLICATED.

Also, I love Iggy Azalea.  She's magic.

Monday, April 07, 2014

To my brothers and sisters in comedy: My own struggles with depression, and the disappearance of the beautiful, smart, and funny Jiwon Lee.

Jiwon Lee has been missing since April 1. I had received texts from her reaching out after we hadn't spoken in years shortly before this happened. Yes this affects the way I feel right now.

I remember the first time that I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore.
When I was 13, the world came crashing down around me when I realized the realities of dating and boys and girls.


Our whole life we are sold ideas of disney princes, romantic movies, love, caring, and respectful partners.  So when I suddenly became popular at 13, I hooked up with a boy for the first time.  It was my first time getting played.  He didn’t care about me as a person.  He didn’t call me back.  He simply “got some” and I didn’t know what that meant.


I felt like I had been lied to.  I felt like adults were stupid and they fed us nothing but bullshit.  I felt that all the aspirational ideas about romance were complete crap.  I spent the next few years adapting to the realities of intimacy and accepting them.  But THEN at that moment, I felt the world was meaningless and I had nothing to look forward to.  I was listening to great music like Hole, NIN, Nirvana, Tori Amos watching MTV.  Melting things in my room.  I was in full on teen angst mode, wrote poetry, hung out with skateboarder kids.  And I remember being in my room, writing things like “Why god did you give us minds to think and hearts to feel if all you wanted to do was fuck us?”


What got me past it - even in that moment I felt NOTHING mattered - was that famous Dylan Thomas poem “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.” and to "rage against the dying of the light."  Even if I felt no light at the end of the tunnel, there was an underlying idea that you can’t go out without a fight, and that possibility of a spark exists.  And every time in my future that I revisited this feeling, this sentiment - DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOODNIGHT surfaced inside of me.


There have been other times in my life that I’ve revisited this deep meaninglessness and the times that stand out the strongest are the following:
- In 2004 when I was asked to repeat my first year of law school (C average meant failing on the bell curve) and a week later my boyfriend who I moved in with dumped me for another woman.  So at 23 I lost who I thought I was going to be career wise, and the man I thought I was going to marry.  I was young and had no sense of how much life I had ahead of me.  This was my deepest depression and most hopeless time.  I lost 30 pounds, even puked from sadness.  When I fantasized about offing myself it was specifically to jump in the hudson river.  I was unable to be productive, clean my dishes, or do anything.  I was crazy minded and volatile.  I was a complete total mess.
- In 2007 after 2 years of working in gay porn.  That’s right - after law school I found a fun job as head of a PR and marketing for a gay adult company and was a standup comedian.  It was actually a wonderful experience however 2 years into it, I hadn’t had enough success in comedy and felt like a failure.  I was afraid that my life revolved around empty, meaningless things and I had screwed it up.  I didn’t feel connected to my dreams and aspirations.  I remember being in Los Angeles and having a terrible time, wishing for better, and then a man I confided in ended up scaring me and thinking he was going to force himself on me sexually - which he got close to doing but I got out of the situation.  I remember sitting on the phone with my friend Dan from a Malibu hotel, him trying to console me.  Beauty feels shitty when you aren’t in the right place to enjoy it.
- Most recently in February of this year I felt this way for a bit.  This has happened periodically but not in big ways like mentioned earlier.  I felt like a failure for not achieving enough in comedy and film.  I was trying to write my feature film script and I didn’t have enough pages and I kept watching internet tv.  I struggle with aging, with losing my looks, with being single, with my family situation which is deeply sad since my dad suffered his stroke.


But I didn’t get like this in 2010 when my dad had his stroke.  There couldn’t be a single thought of suicide because I felt so deeply connected to my family and their needs and how insanely selfish it would be to do something like that.  Even though it’s the hardest, saddest thing I’ve ever been through, there was no thought of meaninglessness.  Every action felt so meaningful in the face of loss - even when painful.


Today I don’t feel this.  Why?  Well I just finished the first draft of my feature screenplay, and I’ve been working sound jobs more as I’m in the union, and learning new things, working on big fun fancy movies.  Both of those things are extremely rewarding and I feel connected to the things I want in life.


I know there’s one way out of depression and suicidal thoughts:
productivity
and
creativity.


Doing things, and using creative energies.


This could be in the form of being healthy: exercise.  Or doing activities, getting out, cleaning your room - or throwing yourself into your big ambitions and dreams.  When you’re really depressed it doesn’t matter that you KNOW getting up and doing good things will make you feel better.  You don’t have much of the capacity to do them.


Jiwon Lee has communicated to the world that she was depressed and lost feeling before going missing.  That leads us to assume that she is missing because of suicide, or because she was seeking meaning or entertainment - or SOMETHING - that led her to a dangerous situation.  Either way she gave her cry for help and now she is gone and hopefully not forever.


I’ve been connecting with others in the comedy community since Jiwon’s disappearance and we are shaken and confused.  


Do you have any idea how talented and capable you are?  My fellow comedians, we all keep chasing our dreams, exposing ourselves, opening up to sometimes dead rooms, competing against each other from time to time.


Sometimes we change our dreams and change our course but we will always be standup comedians inside.  Some of us have specials on Comedy Central.  Some of us end up on SNL.  Some of us end up in the suburbs with a family and miss the life  - and don’t realize how beautiful their new life is, and wonder if they were ever loved or appreciated in their old life.  


We are all dying to “get there”
We don’t often tell each other how much we admire each other.


I’m moved by realizing what our community is, that so often we are passing ships in a “scene.”  Night after night of shows and bullshitting and sharing and baring it all on stage and showing up at things.


Nobody can love everybody, or be there for everybody, or save everybody.

I’m taking a second to say, hey, you mean something to me, and I care about you.




More photos of Jiwon.

Friday, March 21, 2014

The truth about why I’m single.

I shouldn’t be writing this because I have to finish a script, but here it is:

I’d like to end up with someone I’m attracted to that has great qualities.
He's also going to have to like me back, and treat me properly, and want the same thing.
Haven’t found that yet.

Will remain picky because otherwise what is the fucking point?!
YES I’D RATHER BE PICKY AND BE ALONE.  It’s entirely valid to be this way.  It’s entirely valid to be alone!  (I mean.  As long as you have friends.  You should make sure to have friends and things that you do.  Like a life, ya know?)

How could a relationship possibly be good or worth my time if the guy doesn’t excite me or is simply marriage material?  I don’t understand that.  I’ve heard it happens.

I’d rather cry all alone in my room (as I do sometimes) than end up with someone for the sake of comfort or because it’s what people do.

I’m SINGLE
I’m 32

People judge this regularly and then the same people say OH IT’S OK YOU GO BE YOU!  YOU GO GIRL.  Friggin liars.

It makes them as afraid as it makes me.  

BUT it’s ok.  It has to be ok because it’s just the damn facts.  I can accept the fear, and even being lonely if those feelings creep up on me.  But NO SINGLE SHAMING.  There's nothing to be ASHAMED of.  It's JUST CIRCUMSTANCE.   I'm not settling bitches!  And quit peer pressuring other human beings to settle into shizz they don't really want either!!!  No I haven't gotten over the fact that I was pretty in high school and I still want to date the captain of the football team!  Well sort of, I just want him to be sexy and ambitious.

You all have the right to go after whatever you put out there.  If you are nice - you deserve someone nice.  If you are smart, then damn straight you deserve someone smart.  If you've got a great job, then yeah you deserve someone who has their ish together.  If you are hot - yep, you deserve someone hot.  It's not entitlement, it's earning it.  

I'm actually really quite picky to the point of being impossible sometimes (I don't think I could fall in love with a vegetarian, the hot tub is too hot), but that's my choice.  Like I said, I accept being alone if that's the way it has to be.

So.  I make money to support myself.  And oh do I have to support myself.  On my own through the hard times.  I have friends and family but yes there are ways in which an intimate partner would be great.

It just is what it is.  On the one hand let’s not bullshit ourselves with empowerment speak because I can’t stomach the “dance like no one’s watching” talk.

It's not BETTER to be single or BETTER to be married or in a relationship.  I'd say it is universally better to be in a great relationship that you want to be in.  It MIGHT be better to be in love, but sometimes being in love destroys you.  I do believe you should let yourself fall in love and get hurt a million times over because that's what truly living is - not running away from feeling and experiencing life's offerings.  I'd say it's the worst thing ever to be in a relationship that you don't want to be in.  So therefore in that respect, being single is a preferred choice, and it's my choice as I don't have the option to be in a great relationship at the moment.

What is great about being single is the privilege of selfishness and freedom.  Which is damn good for having adventures and doing whatever I want whenever I want and having time to focus on my stuff.  That is a really great thing, and extremely useful as I try to do big things.

The main thing is the question of faith.  Should one have FAITH in life working out as it’s meant to, and the right person coming when the time is right?  

I think so.  Life is too hilarious, dropping all kinds of meaning left and right as your story gets written.

It’s going to be alright, and there’s little one can do about it other than be as creative and productive as possible in their own life.  Oh and do what you believe is right and good.  Being kind is one of those surprise things that causes smiles which you can sometimes forget are so easily awesome.

Ok.  I’m going to go back to working on my script and not worry about getting ready for my boyfriend’s friend’s birthday party.  You go keep judging me for being single if you want. The internet has too many words in it as it is and I'd be hard-pressed to discover these ones got deep inside you.


Friday, February 28, 2014

New Video: GOOGLE COMES TO COLLECT



Nothing in life is truly free.  Would you like to update your information on Google Plus so that it can be shared within your circles?

CAST
Ann Carr
Will Janowitz

CREDITS
Writer/Director - Heather Fink
DP - Kevin Hayden
Editor - David Woolner
G + E - Derek Sexton Horani

Thursday, January 30, 2014

being a feminist can be about all kinds of things

I'm a feminist and proud.  I am definitely cool with the label.

Did you know we come in all different forms?

I'm not so into the women's groups that are all super serious and are all about serious films about sad people in sad situations.

I think there's equal importance in women being fucking awesome in the most visible ways possible.

I believe in social change and the acquisition of power by action and example.

So therefore, there is a social imperative for women to find it in themselves to be bold, powerful, funny, gangsta, sexual, interesting, and unpredictable.

I feel this is the most affective way for us to be what we want and what the world needs us to be.

Make the world a better place not with guilt and focusing on suffering and what's wrong in the world, but in embracing that which is right, and making it moreso.  And then spreading it around.

nothing but pure pleasure comes from cinema when it features strong female heroes

keep it up B

I'M READY FOR HILLARY

Zoom zoom Earheart

Fucking TELL IT Anita

Can't even handle this one.  IDOL

female power comes in many forms and I don't hate on a babe with smarts (just look at the power in her eyes!  she nukes empty vacant stares with what's she's got going on in there!)

and this one was hilarious and intelligent and a true comedian though she's not always appreciated for that

google carol bartz (notice i said da verb google. nerd joke!)

I just want you to tell me what to do please.

Hedy Lamarr invented early technologies that make your bluetooth and iphone possible.  And is babe.


and THIS ONE is some kind of goddess sent from the heavens - have you seen what she's doing with "smart girls"  fuggedaboutit

Ok that's all you get for now.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

what am I doin

if you are asking what am I doin?

here's the answer to what I'm doin:
- working on a new feature script that I can also direct, that will also be less expensive to shoot (fewer locations, fewer characters, etc) this would be my thesis film for NYU Grad ... so I can git that MFA already.  We have a few years after classes are over to work on our thesis projects and I've been out 2 years almost ...
- working sound to pay the bills, which I do enjoy, though it's slow season aka writing season at the moment
- developing a new sitcom idea that I'd like to package and shoot a short promo for
- shooting comedy shorts that I come up with from time to time because doing that keeps me going
- learning Dutch as I barely know it, I'm finally buckling down and taking classes so I can actually really know how to speak it, and perhaps work in film there as well

what are you doin

Friday, December 27, 2013

On Confidence, and then also, On Red Bottom Shoes

I’m comfortable with myself.  Why?  Because I know I’m human and it’s illogical to feel shameful about most thoughts and actions which are in all probability entirely natural.

I certainly believe most people should just get over stupid hangups and fears and anxieties and get out and live.  I’m sure this isn’t easy for everyone but really

Confidence is a matter of logic.

I don’t think I’m so different from everyone, and therefore it is also true that it’s not possible for people to be better than me, or worse than me.  We are all human.  There are assholes and angels but no person is categorically superior or inferior than another.

Do you think there’s people out there who are so much cooler than you, with more access and exclusivity?  Well the super rich and famous can be totally insecure, and have not had access to the more ordinary, risky, dirty life.  And those with access to the more ordinary, risky, or dirty imagine that richness is exclusive and special and so they buy brand name things.


I recently read an article about the day in the life of an IT GIRL and I thought she was a dork and I knew cooler stuff to do than she did.  And who the F am I?  Nobody? Somebody?  Yes, I'm just some lady.


Why is the boss the boss?  Why would I believe they are inherently more important or superior than I?  Certainly the only thing that can set most people apart is experience - but as for innate ability I have little reason to believe that I can't get where I want to be compared to someone else.  There's only a few places in life where talent sets us apart - the actual creative arts, sports. 

People have all kinds of hangups, sexually, with their careers, with whatever stupid nonsense they tell themselves is in the way.

It’s illogical.

You’re JUST HUMAN.

Being human is also magnificent but at the end of the day,
we all go pee pee and should be flossing our teeth.

And in conclusion furthermore also I really don't understand why anyone would buy weirdly expensive handbags or shoes.  Dubai.  Nouveau riche.  Bad taste.  Money hemorrhage.

Now we have moved on to an entirely new topic.

There's rich people with good taste, and then rich people who look like the bile of a high end shopping mall.  A conveyor belt of similar hair, skin, shoes, and bags.

The sadness the heart feels
seeing money wasted

That's what you look like walking down the street, bad taste rich person.  Not sexy.  But like broken dreams, starving children, and failed kickstarter attempts ...

Your Louie Vuitton bag a corpse of hope

Sunday, December 08, 2013

Away Message

Hi internet

I will be in Abu Dhabi and Dubai Dec 9-22

and also in Iceland Dec 28 - Jan 7

NO PHONE CALLS

only emails

NO!  I SAID NO!

NEW VIDEO - Superior Biscuits - Bahlsen Cookies :30 Spec Commercial


CLICK TO WATCH ON YOUTUBE
Bahlsen brand biscuits are superior for eating.  It is recommended that if you are interested in eating a cookie that you eat a Bahlsen brand biscuit.

Writer/Director:  Heather Fink
Actor/Cookie Eater: Trevor Williams
German Voice Over: Jedidjah Oldenburg
Camera/DP: James Schlittenhart
Editor: Nicole Michaelis
Producer: Brian Blum
AD: Devin Shepherd
Sound: Eric Au

This has been a spec commercial by Heather Fink because she wants to be hired to direct real commercials.  Please consider her and the talented people with whom she has collaborated for their respective talents.

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TEXT
Bahlsen brand premium biscuits are super biscuits suitable for eating. They possess a superior flavor to other biscuits and this is an excellent quality for a biscuit to have.
We recommend that if you are considering to eat a biscuit that you are sure to consider eating a Bahlsen biscuit, we do not believe that you will regret this decision.

Kekse der Marke Bahlsen sind ideal zum Verzehr geeignet. Sie verfügen über einen ausgezeichneteren Geschmack als andere Kekse und erreichen dadurch einen hohen Qualitätsvorsprung.  Wir empfehlen, daß Sie vor dem Verzehr von Keksen in Erwägung ziehen, die Kekse der Marke Bahlsen zu wählen und wir sind der festen Überzeugung, daß Sie diese Entscheidung nicht bereuen werden.