Monday, August 23, 2004

How I'd love to be a dead puppy.

So I woke up this morning wanting more than anything for someone to scoop me up in their arms and carry me to a vet so that I could be put to sleep and put out of my misery. Still getting up 5 minutes early to make time to puke because yes its back again. But then I saw my friend Drew on the PATH this morning, and just chatting with him about stuff I felt more myself. We were talking about different creative projects and I swear to god that's my savior. Hearing him talk about a musical he's writing with his brother and I told him all about the sitcom I was writing was just a little taste of normal that I crave.

This is the first fall I have ever not gone back to school. My friends are all getting ready for Law or Dental or whatever ever other school they are going back to, but I have no new outfit for the first day! I remember my first day last year. I remember thanking god for the fact that I was able to take this path and live the life I thought I was going to live. I felt so fortunate that I had turned out as a person who was about to start a path to greatness, going to law school, being the best that I can be. Ah well, now it's time to see what I am really made of. Like an E True Hollywood story, maybe this is my low and it's time to pick my shit back up, make no excuses, and do EXACTLY whatever it is I can do. No one is pushing me, I've got to push myself past the unattainable normal that I can hardly materialize. It's just such a crazy change for me- no school- just work!

Ah fuck I can't do this anymore. I don't even want to talk about my personal shit here anymore. After this post I'll start telling you about Elimidate and the shore and happy shit like this cool old man who sits on Bedford every day and night and says hi to me and all the ladies as we walk by. Or stupid shit like how I went to IKEA with my roommate yesterday and I swear to god that an IKEA store is the manifestation of all that is bad in the world. So much cool stuff there, but every peice of furniture is draped in a small dirty child that has wondered away from his or her parents, and irritating people from all nations join to stand right in front of my fucking shopping cart which I most certainly did ever so gently "accidently" push into people who wouldn't move saying "Sorry, I didn't see you there". That store is a sick and inhumane human experiment- a massive maze you can't move around in with lines galore. But I did get a super cute blue hamper for 9.99 and have a cup of the magical Sweedish Lingonberry Juice!!!

Screw this post, gotta git back to work. More stories and pictures are a comin'.

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