Monday, August 30, 2004

I'm in a New York State of Mind

Keane is great. Actually, Shayna put them on the radar for me via her cool Mr. Music Industry boyfriend as far as I know. You must go to this webpage: Keane, and listen to "Somewhere Only We Know". Do it RIGHT NOW.

Ugh, and there are a few things I want to bitch about but I can't because certain people I know read this thing, and I can't pick and chose who reads it! As I become a "blog writer" more regularly I start to learn which things I can and can't say here. It's funny because on the one hand I feel some obligation to update the blog with important information, but on the other hand that's rather tedious, plus there's many people out there with whom I share certain experiences who I think want to remain annonymous. And I have revealed extremely personal things here, and seriously, I wish I could just tell the whole world the deepest and darkest things on my mind because I am not ashamed of any of it. But then some people freak out over some things I write. I seriously think everyone has problems and thinks some of the same things I do, they just don't say it. But now that I am saying some things I have to watch out because some people are bombarding me with "Are you Ok" and stuff like that and that's my least favorite question.

Especially when I am not ok, and I am letting the feelings surrounding why and how I am not ok swirl around in my mind, I don't want to have that process interrupted at the very moment someone wants to know if I am ok. Actually whenever I feel a slight bit off, when someone asks if I am ok or wants to hug me, it usually triggers me to either want to cry, or just break down for a few seconds. Sometimes whatever is up there isn't done swirling around, and letting it out before its developed into a statement or a conclusion results in a mental pause of unfinished frustration. Yes, my new statement for all intents and purposes and for all to know is

I am OK.

I am so OK you've never seen someone OKer.

So now that that's established and I sit here in the office chilling in my self-declared in-between everything and not particularly anywhere mode, I'd like to continue forth. Are you ready? Ok.

Out and about Hoboken yesterday I saw these police-type dudes chillin in a black van with massive assault rifles, driving slowly around with the smug faces of excited little boys. They were in psuedo swat gear, their legs slung about and piled in the back, almost stroking their massive weapons. Yeah- that's really freakin creepy. We aren't a society that's used to having assault weapons carted around by smiling officers, I don't care how close I am to the Port Authority, I'm not expecting it. So to all the officers out there- either walk up to me and let me play with your guns, or try to look at bit professional so you don't creep us all out.

Speaking of assault weapons, I of course do not look forward to the anticipated expiration of the assault weapons ban in the U.S., but I know someone who does. This would be my friendly ex, Justin. He's very cool, but very silly, and has played a bit too much Counter-Strike and Bond for Nintendo 64 and has developed a penchant for AK-47s. Although he would very much like to fire some rounds off on various non-living targets, I still feel that Assault Weapons should be banned, not sure why, just seems kinda smart, no?

I know what I am getting mom for X-mas this year!!!

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