Thursday, September 30, 2004

The Rain in Spain

I love being inside when it rains outside. It just calms everything, it's the perfect time to turn everything off, music, tv, and just be peaceful.

The rain in venice . . .

But this evening will not be peaceful with the first pre-election debate. I've purposely tried to step as far back as I can resist from everything that's going on. I am disgusted with the shape modern American politics takes, with how commercialized and image based everything is. The ancient greeks despised Democracy- I think Plato called it the "tyranny of the majority", part of the inspiration for his Republic. And of course we don't actually live in a Democracy, we live in a Republic as well- not ruled by "philosopher kings" unfortunately. Ours is ruled in such a way our representatives have become puppets of the popular. So yeah, the tyranny of the majority sentiment seems to loom omnipresent over all things important in American life. There is no real man or real individual for us to elect. I truly think that Kerry can do a fine job- but more so as an employee of the United States than a great president such as Jefferson or Clinton.

But hell yes I want you all to go vote Kerry. He is most certainly going to approach his job with some kind of intellegence and insight, and he really has been a good Senator. I wouldn't say great though. The greats have taken a step back it seems lately. After the whole Gore fiasco it's amazing anyone will step up to the campaign plate. It really takes a Clinton to outsmart them all. And of course I hate the world as run by Bush. I hate what our country has become. It truly has taken a turn for the worse in those certain respects in which the President has influence. I don't really care to go on about why I think that, but I do.

I can't believe the election is coming up. I feel like such an audience member lately, in my life as well as in the world. Just a spectator as grand events occur before my eyes. I have no pull, no control. I have hope, and who knows how powerful that can ever be. I've thrown my heart in enough things that spit in my face and discarded my energy, that I am thankful I can still care about things without being padded by paranoia that things will never turn out right. I was extremely upset when Bush won in 2000. I even forgot my boyfriend's birthday (it was the day after the election).

Sometimes I think that life is a stuggle to be alive in society. That is celebrity- to make a thumbprint on the world outside of yourself. We perhaps have a desire to become famous, known, or accomplished simply so that we can say that we were here. Hell, there are those of us who can't achieve this in the long term so we will just scribble "so and so wuz here" on any tree or bathroom wall we can find. But maybe that's all it comes down to. Beyond the great journey of expressing one's talent, moments of personal glory materialize when we are finally appreciated, acknowledged, - known. But back to politics, we all have feelings, or we should, about what is happening in the world, what should happen in the world. But we all drown in the anonymity of our own thoughts, so far removed from having any baring on the world we live in. But it's just so difficult to see that some men do directly have a voice in the world. But they can go on speaking and speaking as their words shape our tomorrows, while all we can do is sit back and watch.

So watch I will this evening. I don't have high expectations whatsoever.

Una Pura Formalita

So I finished watching "A Pure Formality" by Guiseppe Tornatore- director of Cinema Paradiso (I actually didn't like that one so much- but it's a classic). Fucking fantastic. Great directing, writing and acting. It's got 3 main dudes in it. Gerard Depardieu, Roman Polanski, and this other guy- Sergio Rubini who had a smaller part but really stood out to me. He's an italian actor and he's starring in a new Italian movie with another W.O.P.(yes it's a friggin joke) Raoul Bova who has made a stink in the US for being hot and being in that lame looking movie "Under the Tuscan Sun".

The movie is so great. If you can see it, don't read the review on IMDB, it would ruin the movie for you. It's got a Memento/fight club/sixth sense quality about it, and you really don't know what the real deal is till the end- I didn't expect it to be that kind of movie with a twist, cause it was good without it, but of course much more meaningful with this whole twist. Try and find it though. My boss had a hell of a time tracking it down. Worth the search though.

I'm also looking forward to this movie: The Brothers Grimm
Not just the cast (Damon, Heath), but most especially since Director Terry Gilliam of Monty Python writes and directs it (his writer director credits include Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Twelve Monkeys btw . . .). And it sounds cool.

Cest La Vie folks.
And don't forget, Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.

It's a Beautiful, um, Overcast, Day

Let me just say that this morning I start off feeling quite well. A complete psychopath out there had been harrassing me for a little while now, and basically, someone has helped put a a stop to it. Sigh of relief!

And I'm buying me some tickets to see Jimmy Eat World, since they're coming to NYC wooha! I saw them once before and they are just super fantastic. People say that our generation has no Led Zepplin or no Beatles, or memorable greats. Well it's not possible for any artist to be a next "Beatles", besides Elvis it's just not possible to be more important to Rock and Roll. But I think today's greats are a bit different. Today's big ones can include those who've hit MTV popularity, like Alanis or Dave Mathews Band, but more so I think it's those who have massive fan bases that are mesmorized by that artist's music. In the past decade or so, some of the most influential have been popular enough to make it to MTV, but aren't really embraced by the mainstream- and sort of go back and forth from being 'mainstream' to 'underground'. Like Radiohead, Tori Amos, Phish, ugh so many. Like Coldplay is legitimately huge and talented, but even so, I don't think there would be Coldplay without Radiohead before them.

Anyhow, Jimmy Eat World has been around for a while. You could put em in a nutshell and call them emo/indie rock- their first shows were all with the punk crowd- touring with groups like Face to Face n stuff. But they really had (still have-I hope-with their new album coming out) a very unique sound. The last 3 years of new emo/indie/rock has really borrowed that sound. What is unique and interesting about their sound has been adapted to bands where every song of theirs sounds the same and has that sweet Jimmy Eat World sensibility. I really do think they are responsible for a good deal of what we hear out there. Anyhow, I look forward to seeing em. They are so worth it.
http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/jimmy_eat_world/audvid.jhtml
Click here and see "Pain", their newest video! Yum. It's good.
(PS- if you never heard them before, There's also "Lucky Denver Mint" live on the website- Their most mesmorizing track. I was fortunate to hear a friend's LP of that and I played that mofo like 100 times over!)


That's the cute one in the band. In person he looks like a hotter version of that toolbag Carson Daily. . . Carson Daily reminds me of Mark McGrath and President Bush. Both will really say anything they are told! (In sounding like somebody behind the camera's puppet)

One last musical musing. . . you know how some bastards out there will take just any song and put inane dance beats behind it? Like this one dance beat that came straight out of some kid's electronic keyboard in the basement? Well I challenge those mofos. I thought of one band they can't do that with. Imagine Nirvana- maybe trying to put "rape me" with dance beats in the background. Now that's a project I should put together. Or somehow fuse the beats from Haddaways "What is Love" with some Dillinger Escape Plan or Norma Jean. Now we've got somethin special . . .

Um, ok, I guess I have to like, work and stuff . . .

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

The Procrastination is Taking Over

Cuz I love everything about the Ali G Show. Click me.

And cause silly is my favorite, do you know about the Ministry of Silly Walks?
That's my favorite ministry.

And it's been on a while, but I know that the world is truly great when I think about the fact that Most Extreme Elimination Challenge is out there.

Gooden Avond!
(good evening)

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Fucking vote people, please.

If you haven't registered to vote and you somehow missed this little thing called the election of 2000, good lord people, freakin register already. Just print the crap out, and mail it with a little stamp. ALSO don't forget to mail out the form to vote absentee. It's sooooo easy, I voted like 4 times that way and it's even more convenient than in person voting. You just print out a little form. Especially if you're from Florida- you better fucking vote and do it right this time . . . arggg don't make me get Lewis-Black-aggravated on you!

Register to vote here.(just cause this website is from the DNC doesn't mean you have to be a democrat to use it)


If you don't vote, you deserve this guy.

Guten Tag.


Cute Little Baby Bunnies? Goood.



These fucking things? Bad.

There's lots of good comedy shows going on all the time in NYC, but once in a while there's really great ones that I will shell out extra dough and cancel things to go to. This time I can't- I got rehearsal. But for those of you who can do something this Monday, Oct 4- here's a fantastic show I promise you would love:
http://www.ucbtheatre.com/schedule/showdetails.php?showid=584
This star-studded evening will include live and pre-taped performances from the Cast of Avenue Q, Performers from Mad TV, Julian Velard, Demetri Martin, Ed Helms, and many more . . .

This morning they are filming another commercial outside. It's for something financial. You always know a shoot of come kind is going on if you see a blue or white tent that says "Kits" on the top of it.

Anyhow I've been overcome with more anxiety lately than I'd prefer to tolerate, it's a combination of a few things. But as I was feeling stressed and sort of serious, two things back to back helped wipe the slate clean, at least for a few hours. First, while on the subway those fucking kids who ask for money in a brain dead monotone voice for their "basketball" team came on and started doing their spiel- but this time was different. The kids started saying "Hello, I am here selling peanut m+ms but I am not selling them for my basketball team and I am not selling them for charity, I am selling them for me and my friends to keep us out of trouble and off the streets . . ." And his delivery was deadpan, quite good- so yeah, that totally worked on me. I bought some m+ms. And they made me laugh. And as I exited the subway car there was this Ad of Al Franken for his news show where there's talking bubbles on it and someone wrote in it in marker "I shove hamsters up my ass". Ha! Brilliant! Just thinking about that makes me laugh. One of my most favorite things to do is deface magazines and make them say stuff. Haven't done that in a while, what a shame.

So yesterday was the first day I tried the full day of work followed by full evening of rehearsal, and I was fucking madly exhausted! But I like that I had something going on to make me exhausted. I just love having something to challenge me. This script is freakin amazing though. Any History or Political Buff is gonna enjoy this. There's all these facts my character knows and spews out, I feel like I am getting a history lesson. There's a lot of talk about the Regan administration and the Clinton administration mostly. It's all facts, and then you've got these fictional characters that basically represent political figures in society today and observations are drawn about them that you can easily apply to what's really going on in the world.

Ever get so sick of walking places, you just want to be there already and you're not even late or anything, you just start running? I do that sometimes, I get bored of how long it's taking me, bored of the walk. So then I run with a panicked look on my face like I am running late so it's my excuse for running without exercise clothes on. Plus it's fun to play pretend.

One last note, I think Michael Showalter is hilarious and with this cast, this movie is going to be good and nice n silly:
The Baxter

http://www.renaissance-films.com/baxter.html

And I'm also really interested in this Movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0358273/

Monday, September 27, 2004

Yo, stress, How you doin?


Zaanse Schans is this valley in North Holland near the sea where they get lots of wind and have the most windmills. I remember driving with my cousin across the countryside, past mills and canals and pretty things and having her teach me Dutch. Amongst things learned was how to say that I am romantically in love with the cows (pardon my spelling) "Ik ben veel lief van de kuiyen" or interchange kuiyen
with kippen and you are talking mad crazy chicken love.

So on with the blogging . . .
Arg! I am stressin! This is a mad huge part in this play and it's more than I've ever had to memorize in my life and I only have a month! Well I guess it's kind of good I am stressing out cause I am studying like a mad woman. So yes, I will, I MUST memorize this AND do well. I don't want to suck. That would be bad.

And I finally got an answer to my morning mystery. I take a shuttle bus from where I live to the PATH station in the morning. While on the bus the driver's speaker thingy started saying "all buses exit the port authority now, drop off passengers on the street, exit the lincoln tunnel" and this concerned me, and later on I checked out news and heard nothing of it. But on the radio they just said there was an underground fire. Trains are shut down from Newark, NJ to New Haven, CT, buses aren't running. PATH is running but it will definately be all backed up and crazy. That's it- I'm not going home and back before rehearsal definately. I guess I'll just hang around the office or visit someone. But I suppose I'd like to avoid the evening rush hour today . . .
http://www.nj.com/newsflash/jersey/index.ssf?/base/national-31/109631664420130.xml&storylist=national

As I do love former "The State" members, has anyone noticed David Wain's commercial on MTV where he's an industrial sales rep? Pretty funny, keep your eye out.

David Wain

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Heather Fink: Actress?

Yeah, so I haven't "acted" in like 2 years or something. But yesterday while at my parent's house I get this phone call from this woman I know, Judy Klass, who is a playwrite and she's like "I have this play going on and we are casting this role I think you'd be perfect for." Me? Hmm, wow, I haven't auditioned for something in years. Me, an actress again? Well, it's not everyday that someone calls me and wants me for a part, so I figure, hell yeah I'll try out for it. So I get my ass up this Sunday morning, make my way into the city, sit before this other director guy that I don't know, and take the script in hand and read. Then he tells me to read her monologue. I take a minute to read it over, and one line in, he says stop. I was like, ok, that's all? He's like, yeah- you can do this, you don't need to read anymore, you got the part. And it's the lead!

Cool!

And I love the script too, it's gonna be a really entertaining play. It's going up in the end of October in a political theatre festival. It takes place in the South and there's two candidates, and I play this Mary Matalin type who goes down there and is this guy's campaign manager. It's actually really cool- the lines are rich with relevant modern political commentary. One guy's a Clinton type, the other is a Bush type. And I get to be the Democrat, yay! And there's a romantic interest for me, yay!

Gosh, so I haven't acted in years and I have this huge freakin part to memorize and it's going on at the end of October! But this is just what I needed. It's just so silly though, I can see life kinda grabbing me by the balls and pulling me around saying- hey you- no law school for you- you go be an actress right now! Actually this other guy said to me who's in a band he might be looking for a female singer . . . I did sing for a band when I was a freshman in high school . . . Anyhow, I am really happy to do creative things again, and this guy is a great director and really into the "art" of acting so I think I am really going to enjoy this. BTW it will be playing on Tues early evening, Thurs, Fri and Sunday nights the week of Oct 26-31, with a special pre-election night performance Nov 1, Monday night at 8pm. Thankfully there's no rehearsal or performance on Oct 30- the Saturday before Halloween, most surely a great party night and the evening of my Kill Bill Costume debut.

The play is called "Damage Control".
Get Schedule and Tickets CLICK HERE!

Also,
This weekend we threw my sister a surprise party for her 30th birthday. It was so cool! I never threw one before and I don't think I ever went to one either. But I was responsible for taking her out during the day and back to the house and we totally had her fooled! She thought noone was doing anything for her birthday and was kind of sad about it, but ha! We surprised her and she loved it, she was just so happy and it was great to do this for her. It was also fun being all sneaky, like when there were cars parked outside I was like, I guess the neighbors are having a bbq, but of course when she heard the noise in the back she knew something was up . . . fun!

So it was a good weekend. And I spent some time in some beautiful nature. It's really pretty right now in my home town, some leaves are changing a bit of color, and even in Hoboken on the waterfront today it was just so lovely. BTW- that new place Trinity is such a great spot to sit on a nice day, and there's this really cute place that opened next door, both with fantastic waterfront views of the city. But unfortunately sometimes it's a bit depressing being around so much beauty and not having anyone to share it with. But ah fuck, I always try to do cool things by myself, I really gotta get back to the happy single Heather that I was for so long. Sometimes it's just so hard to get people off their asses to do anything other than party and drink.

Anyhooo, have a nice Sunday evening people!

A pretty day in Hoboken . . .

Friday, September 24, 2004

Recent Photos update

So, recently uploaded from the digital camera: (remember, I use a free webserver, so if they don't show up, just reload, they'll come up later)
Last Friday as I left work, I was surprised by a group of Mariachis hanging out on the street next to a limo. A man was proposing to his lady. So I snapped a picture of the fun:

BUT then they turned around. They started posing and insisted that I take more pictures, and that I also join them for a group photo:

And then it got much more fun. Although I was wearing a bland ol grey t shirt with hair pulled up, I don't know if they thought I was famous or something- I don't know what it was cause they didn't speak english- but they each started taking out their own cameras and each individual one was asking to take a picture with me one at a time. I found myself having to pose with each one, and all these onlookers were looking at me all crazy. It was an interesting moment to say the least.

Here's a pic from this weekend's Hoboken Arts and Music fest:

That was from inside Farside where this band plays on Thursdays, and they are good. I was actually supposed to go last night but after I put on a towel to go get in the shower I sat down on my bed- and didn't get up, just fell right to sleep instead. Anyhowz, I went there to meet up with Tiffany:

and I got really drunk, and she went to work. Ugh that stupid sweater looks all big and stupid on me. I need to buy clothes that fit but I ain't got no cash! (PS- saving money tip, I discovered a 30 cent NYC breakfast- a banana, topped with this peanut butter which isn't mine in the fridge at work)

And if you're a good-day new york fan like myself, you might appreciate this photo of weatherman Mike Woods on the street in Hoboken a little while back:


And here's the carpenters/on air talent working for the TLC show filming in Hoboken:

I'm supposed to have a drink with them after work today. I do love carpentry as I was raised on building sites- mommy was a builder back in the 80s. The one on left is kinda cute in person anyways. I can't help but like a man who can work a screwdriver.

And yes, I splurged on the Kill Bill costume. It is mine. But I figured it's worth it cause I'll totally wear that jacket on other days. Did you know that the design is actually a Tarantino copy off of an old Bruce Lee movie? It's true.
See:

And I found this silly little script online:
http://www.noshame.org/iowacity/scripts/hansen000324.htm

Finally, we've been doing casting in the office for this new commercial. Casting is fun. Most of the actors suck so bad it's really funny to watch. But I liked trying to spot the good ones. I actually picked the winning male lead correctly. Yay I know how to cast! I want a medal!

So I'm going to Roxbury for most of the weekend. I think I'll try and see Motorcycle Diaries. Is it weird to get hot for Che?
Also of interest to me is this movie:
Shaun of the Dead.

She was right all along . . .


This is a pic of the beach Scheveningen. It's basically the beachfront in Den Haag, the Haague- where the world's International Court is, the Vreidespaleis, or peace palace. This beach is really cool because you can kind of see in the picture that there are these outdoor bars right on the beach, and some of them are really amazing. Some had hammocks and loungy pillows, little fires to sit around, all were really cute looking with an urban outfitters feel to the decor. And you could just have dinner right on the beach. And they also had massive trampolines on the beach too. All around nice.
More Scheveningen:

There's lots of cool old postcards of this beach on the net. Here's one:

Moving along . . .

So most of you who know me know that I grew up with my paranoid schidzophrenic grandma for many years, or at least starting with my freshman year of high school. And she used to come downstairs and rant and rave about a variety of things which were really quite funny. See when you live with someone crazy, you quite quickly stop feeling sad or bad about them and learn to try and have a sense of humor about the whole situation. I mean, you know it's not changing, anyhow . . .

Good lord, turns out grandma was right about something. One afternoon as my friends Joe and Dave were sitting in my kitchen and I think we were eating or something, grandma came downstairs and started raving about "The Icebergs". She had gotten upset about the icebergs before but this time she was especially concerned.

She said that the icebergs- meaning glaciers, were melting at an incredibly rapid pace and that we were all going to die if they weren't stopped. And so she was saying to Joe and Dave that they better get ready, because they are strong young men, and she was telling them that they had to take a helicopter up to the icebergs and chop at them with pickaxes to break them up. She was really quite emphatic about it, going on for about an hour so she could convince them to go get the icebergs. So Joe and Dave told her that they would see what they could do about it. But we didn't take her seriously, and look, she's right!
Study: Antarctic glaciers melting faster

Thursday, September 23, 2004

I wanna Kill Bill as well.


This is the smaller Dutch city Enschede, in the province of Twente on the border of Germany. This is where my family is from and my momma grew up. That is the church in the center of the city and at night it fills with people on terraces and out and about. Enschede is also where the super yummy beer Grolsch is from. People from West Holland typically favor Heinekin, but the people from East Holland show some loyalty to Grolsch. But what I really love is Dutch Wittebier, White Beer. If you've ever had Belgian Blue Moon or Hoegaarden, that's white beer you can find in the US. Try it with a squished up lemon in it, or try a "snowwhite"- half white beer and half 7 Up. Which reminds me of a yummy Irish beer cocktail- Black Velvet- it's half guiness and half champagne and it's surprisingly great.

Out on the terraces in Enschede . . .

Anyhow, back to Enschede. This is a small town that I have my best memories of. I really miss my grandparents house. We drove past it the last time I was in Holland and it's weird that this family house now has someone else's family, and I didn't even grow up there. Holland was kind of like New York was to me growing up because it was always this magical place where you'd go on all of the special occasions. Unfortunately if you do a google images search of Enschede you see a lot of fires. That's because there was this big explosion at a fireworks factory a few years ago and it was a huge tragedy. My cousin's home was all f'ed up and a lot of people died. I remember that morning hearing news that there was an explosion in Enschede and having this awful uncertain feeling.

Which reminds me of the morning I heard about the Seton Hall fire. That was probably the worst news I ever heard on tv because I had to wait so long to find out if my boyfriend at the time was ok. At least when my mom was working at the World Trade Center during the 93 bombing, I found out in just minutes that she was fine. But that morning with the fire, I turned on my tv just getting ready for class, and I see my boyfriend's dorm on fire, and the report that more than three boys had died in the fire. I hadn't heard a thing from him and it had happened hours ago. No email, no call, no IM. I called his mom, she hadn't heard from him- nothing. So I just left the phone on and went to class. An excruciating 2 hrs went by where I thought he really could be dead. Ugh it was awful, your mind races in those times- thinking about their funeral and all of that.

http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/01/19/seton.hall.fire.05/
http://www.nj.com/setonhallfire/ledger/fire/

But he was ok. Turns out that he just didnt contact me because he didnt have his phone or computer because he had to evacuate the building. But you want to know something about that fire that didn't get much publicity- For about 2 months before this fire, some upperclassmen were pulling the fire alarms in all the freshman dorms every night around 5 or 6 am as a prank- and nothing was done about it. It happened all the time. So some of the deaths and smoke damage was caused because people thought is was another hoax and they just stayed in bed. The exboyfriend didn't even get up he told me until he heard desperate screams from girls who were screaming for their lives. That fact has always pissed me off.

Anyhow, want some happy thoughts? I'll give em to ya.

I am enjoying learning this industry more and more. By the way they are doing some filming for TLC for the next 2 days in Hoboken on Washington between 6th and 7th Aves. They are rennovating this old toy store "Big Fun" next to Sullivans. And also tonight a friend's band is playing at Farside on Washington Street in Hoboken and I think I'll check that out. They were playing there this past Sunday at the Hoboken arts and music fest and are really quite good- they play stuff like Weezer, coldplay, phish, other good stuff. So I reccommend stopping by there if you are a Hobokener.

Oh yeah, so back to me liking the industry. There's this really amazing studio right in Hoboken that does in house special effects for anything from movies to commericials, and specializes in commercial production, which is what I work in right now. I was there yesterday and the studio is just beautiful and I think I might pick up some extra night and weekend work there, which I am more than happy to do. I was actually talking to the producer guy there, telling him how I was interested in film school because I only really know Final Cut Pro, but he said- hey- a year working here will teach you all you would learn in film school and you get paid for it. Cool. I like this.

And I also like this:

My boss told me that he saw a Uma Kill Bill costume in the window of a store in the city and he said he thought I would like it. Hell yeah! I wanted to be that last year for Halloween but instead I had settled on being Zool- from Ghostbusters when Dana Barret is all in that Red dress thing. Granted this costume is not nearly as cool as this one:

But I have a feeling the cheesy spandex one is a lot more affordable. And I've been searching for the black and yellow shoes from Onitsuka Tiger- the coolest shoe company ever. Their website is really cool too, read about their history- it's really pretty damn cool.
http://www.asicstiger.com/onitsukatiger/


JUST FOUND ON EBAY:

Now thaaaat's more like it . . .
must . . have . . outfit . . Now!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


I like this clock.


DAMMIT. Fuck you Pitney Bowes! You call here at the office all the time and I tell you we do not want your postage machine! We do not want your free trial of your postage machine or informational booklets on your postage machine! No you may not talk to the boss, yes I am the office manager, and no even if you call back we still won't want your fucking machine in this office! We don't even use the US Postal Service, we use bike messengers and fed-ex. I hate you Pitney Bowes! Bugger off!

This still from Rules of Attraction (another movie that is a member of my top ten list for its innovative storytelling method, sweet camera work, stellar directing, good writing and talented ensemble cast) captures that perfect stillness I so enjoy at the end of my day, beer or wine in hand, flat on the bed, zoned out, with or without the company of the television.


And last night on my television was the finale of Amazing Race. It is indeed Amazing. Thank goodness one of the teams I liked won. Last year this team won that had this evil chick on it who was mean and bitchy. There was this other team that almost won this time that had the most evil boy I've ever seen on reality television. His name is Colin, and he likes to scream a lot and bitch a lot and be mean to his girlfriend- but she's a dumbass for not only putting up with it, but most recently accepting his marriage proposal. And he's totally not even hot. He's gross. But he was fun to watch freak out. No, instead this team I liked that was a black married couple of parents won. I loved it cause the dad, Chip, looked a lot like a huggable George Foreman and he was so overcome with joy and crying. It's got to be the best prize to win because it takes so much to win it. It was kind of funny too that the well known Christian models didn't win, cause the guy on that team kept saying "If we win, that means Jesus is on our side and Jesus is behind us so we will have victory" and stuff like that- but they didn't win, so um, what's that say . . .

Oh yes, fuck yes I will sit on that lap of yours.
(pics of the amazing race star Brandon)
But either way, thank you Jesus for this hot dude being so hot, in leather suspenders- that's cool . . .

I swear, I looked just as cool as Bruce Willis in Die Hard . . .


Maastricht is one of the oldest cities in Europe and it sits right on the border of Belgium on the river Maas. In this picture you can see this tall building with a tower on each side. That building I think was built around 1200. Same with the town's famous bridge the Sint Servaasbrug:

I remember when I was there I got on one of those boats you see in the top picture and took a day trip to Liege, a small town in Belgium famous for Liege waffles, which rival Brussels waffles- the version of waffel that's know over here.

The Liege waffle. WAFFLES ARE COOL.

Anyhow, I was wondering around the city, and found myself in a city square, and since Belgium has a bit of a French influence, it has some notoriously "slow" and leisurely waitors. I had one of the best meals I've ever had in my life and I had no idea what I ate. I tend to just order the special or pick something randomly off a menu and look forward to a surprise. I think what I ate was chicken, but it had a foie gras consistency so I really don't know- but it was awesome. Anyhow I enjoyed my meal in the sunshine, threw back some wine, and off I went to catch my boat back to Maastricht. But unfortunately I didn't realize how far away I had wondered. So there I was rushing back through the city streets- going the right way with my map- but the map just made stuff seem closer together . . . anyhow I start rushing towards the boat, and of course, the boat is starting to take off. And what do I do? I jump on. That's right- Heather who has no coordination and barely enough motor skills to write legibly, jumps successfully onto a boat risking falling into the river Maas. And then as I got on people laughed and said things to me in Dutch that I did not understand. So then I ate some pie on the boat and called it a day. Mmm, Maastricht is also famous for its pies or "Limburg Vlaai". Mmmm that was good . . .

Perhaps next time I'll tell you the story about the fat sweaty deoderantless Frenchman who actually sat on me on the train and said "You are American, Is comical, no?"

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Most Surely the Life of the Party now . . .


I signed up for belly dancing classes and I'll be taking em on Tuesdays starting Oct. I figure it's an important skill for a well rounded young woman to have.

And I know I mentioned it yesterday, but you really must listen to this song:
http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/muse_uk_/artist.jhtml
from Muse, click on "Time is Running Out". "Absolution" is also good. I love how mtv.com gives you the videos with the song. How could I not! Music videos rule.
Which reminds me of this guy: Mert. His website is really cool and he wants to direct music videos. I met him in the office the other day. I wish he was out in NYC- he's an LA person- cause he'd make a perfect DP for some stuff I wanna do. Ah well, such is life.

And did you know there is such a thing as "Fink Tank 3000"? I bet you didn't, but alas. You do now.

Here, now it's time to learn about the Dutch culture. Since Holland colonized Indonesia back in the day, much Indonesian cooking is embedding in Dutch cooking, and there's this one really cool thing to do when you go to Holland or Amsterdam. Find an authentic Dutch Indonesian restaurant and get a "Rijsttafel" (pronouced like reistaffel) which literally means Rice Table. And go with a group. Basically what happens is you sit at this table with this elaborate set up of stenos and the waitors bring out small plate after plate of all the yummiest of Indonesian specialties, and it's basically a feast. Well guess what! I discovered that there's places in NYC with Rijsttafels! I am psyched. So you might find me there some time soon, but if you are looking for something cool to do, or where to bring a hungry date, try one:
Bali Nusa
A place in Brooklyn
Eastanah in SoHo




This movie looks unbelievable: Romance and Cigarrettes.
It's a musical with James Gandolfini, Steve Buscemi, Kate Winslet, Christopher Walken, Susan Sarandon and others. It's directed by John Turturro, certainly an interesting guy. I just don't think this could turn out badly and I hope I am not wrong. Speaking of Kate Winslet, she and Carrey were really great in this movie:
I think she's got a cool movie career ahead of her.

and here's the little picture of Holland of the day. Here is the church in Oldenzaal where my mom and dad got married:

In their pictures it was snowing and they got a horse drawn carriage for the wedding. Man when I think about it it must have been such a cool time. My pop was over there cause he was in Officer Training school in Germany during Vietnam and simply wandered his way into the Netherlands. And he comes back with a wife. Silly life.

Life, why are you so silly???

Monday, September 20, 2004

This is a great song


http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/snow_patrol/audvid.jhtml
Click on "Run"

Snow Patrol
"Run"
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all i've done.

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Anywhere from here

Light up, Light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
It makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do.

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower, slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess.

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear.


And here's some other late day reccomendations:
Muse "Time is Running Out"
Broken Social Scene "cause=time"
have fun downloaders . . .

Hormones Speaking? Yeah, I think so.


New feature for this week- photo of Holland of the day. This one is of Alkmaar, famous for it's cheese festivals. That's right- festivals dedicated to cheese and all the happy feelings that cheese brings.

As far as mainstream rock goes, Chevelle isn't bad. Check out their new video:
http://www.mtv.com/music/video/premiere/chevelle/index.jhtml
"Vitamin R" The lead singer had a Maynard-ish voice (tool).

I feel so weird physically at work today. Not sure if it's because I have a hang over or because I stopped taking the pill. Yep, that's right. I am so sure I am not going to be doing the Humpty Hump I gave up on the BCP.

Finally at work we went into production on a commercial. Since I've been here we've only been doing pre-production stuff so I've been waiting to get into the juicy good stuff. And it's ohhh so exciting, a paper towels commercial. YYAAAAAYYY! I absolutely love absorbent papers. It's right up my alley. My other intersts include hydrogen peroxide and fabric softeners. God how scary would that be if you met someone and they told you their interests included absorbent papers, fabric softeners and hydrogen peroxide? Well I most certainly would say to that person, "What the hell is your problem", and then push them down on the ground. They would deserve it after all, their interests are far too eccentric for me to allow them to stand in place without giving them a proper shove.

And now as I type I realize why I haven't allowed my blog to take a more humorous direction. I think it's because my humor is weird, and I feel that I may alienate and frieghten some readers, and the last thing I would like to invite right now is concern about my well-being. Why I'll tell ya one of my least favorite questions is are you ok? It's just such negative attention. I like positive attention- like someone who doesn't suck buying me a drink, or maybe giving me hugs if they are the sort of person I would like a hug from.

By the way, this video is mildly amusing. It was made by this group that includes Matt Walsh of Daily Show/ UCB, Todd Barry, Jon Benjamin of Home Movies/Dr Katz and some other guy. I do not use xtc, nor have I ever, but I appreciate this short movie: http://www.midnightpajamajam.com/xtc.htm It is kind of sad though how all their videos are only mildly amusing considering the creators. It should be immensely amusing, don't you think?

Just got back from the San Genarro Festival in little italy on my lunch break. Ugh, I just ate nasty overpriced ultrafried clamari. I only went there really cause my one boss was all about it and if I didn't go, he would be all "How was it" and I really don't like lying, not even about stupid stuff like that. Ordinarily I really like these kinds of festivities, but there were just a bunch in Hoboken so I am kind of eh about it. But there were these 2 gorgeous NYC cops that were talking to me, and I am such a wuss cause I did something I do a lot- as soon as I can feel someone might ask for my number I sort of cut things off and say- Nice talking to you, bye, and dart off. But then I thought, gosh darn it, they were kind of delightful and cute, and it would be a fun little adventure to date a NYPD officer- but maybe not as fun as I might imagine, I've heard the handcuffs are actually quite dirty and should not be used "off duty". Either way I don't know which one was cuter. One was blond hair blue eyed frat boy looking from upstate new york, and the other was a dark haired heavily accented long islander. I don't have a penchant for either of these flavors, tasty as they may be. I like spooky looking intense crazy mother fuckers- like Trent Reznor, Vincent Gallo, and Gael Garcia Bernal- oh and Benno F├╝rmann.

Here's my mini hotness gallery:

Trent Reznor

I don't know what mister Reznor is wearing here but it seems to be rather perfect attire for sitting on his lap.

Vincent is even hot when he wear's women's undies. What talent!

Hot enough to make you gay, Gael is gonna be Che Gueverra in the upcoming Motorcycle Diaries.

And Benno, my favorite German, you can see him in my 3rd favorite movie, the Princess and the Warrior. BTW did you know that German men are the hottest of all European men? I didn't expect it, but that was the opinion I formed upon visiting a few countries in Western Europe.


But don’t listen to anything I say here about what I want as far as guys. I have no idea. I really think all I want is adventures. I can’t settle down at all until I have more adventures. But of course I really miss having someone to share my down time with, like watching tv and stuff like that. That’s my favorite cuddle time. I guess that’s all me and my last boyfriend did. Just cuddle time. He wasn’t fun at all. So boring and didn’t really do anything. But he was very skilled at cuddle time. That’s when he really shined. Maybe I will just vicitimize one of my friends and use him for this purpose. But actually I think a better plan would be to find some devastatingly gorgeous stranger who doesn’t seem terribly dangerous. Then I could make him sit in my bed and watch Apprentice and the OC and Adult Swim with me for hours and hours!!! Yay! And then he’d blow me! Yay!


Sunday, September 19, 2004

Drunky pooos

It was a loverly loverly sunday. I usually don't post drunk, but I figure why the hell not. I just smoked a little pi omega theta and I am feelin cosy here on my bed with my laptop. I had a good weekend. Thankfully enough there was a lot going on Friday night in Hoboken cause it rained so much it floooded and I wasn't going alll the way into the city. Went to some parties, but I totally forgot about this one- and that was the only one with food at it! Boo! I suck!

Then Saturday, hmm, I ended up at Bowlmore Lanes or whatever that disco bowling nightclub is near Union Square. Oh yeah, and before then I had explored a Hoboken liquor store with some nice young men, and discovered a favorite rare beer was in stock there, it's Dixie Crimson Voodoo- a red/amber brew. And it kicks ass. Y'all should try it. Anyhow Satuday was fun

But the highlight of my week must have been today. Sun was out- Hoboken arts and music fest was here and it was sooo nice. Yummy food, yummy people, and yummy beer, and yummy music. There was a really great band playing Phish and Coldplay and Radiohead and som DMB, and it was such perfect music on a Sunny Sunday with beer in hand. The only shitty thing was this one super annoying guy who hovered over me and for the entrire 4-5 hrs I was there he asked me the same 3 quesitons about 50 times it was so insane. I kept turning away from him and stuff and we ws all bouncing around and I swear he asked the following 3 questions over and over and over:
What is your full name? Where do you live? and Do you like this band?
He would seriously repeat the same one back to back to- like Where do you live? . . . Where do you live?
This boy sucked hardcore- and crazy enough, he was actually good looking. Too bad he was a total retard.

There were lots of cute peicdes of ass. So I decided I am goint o be totally unavailble and just dating only. I don't even think I want to give second dates and I don't even want to sleep with these dudes. I just want assorted eye candy and entertainment on a daily basis. And some making out cause kissing is super fun. Does that make me suck? I dunno, maybe. Why should I care? I believed in someone and he turned out totally sucky and let me down and I have no reason to expect anyting from anyone.

Party. Party hard. I have no school and no reason not to fucking party like a college kid every night. Woo fuckin hoo.

Friday, September 17, 2004


I run low on fairy princess . . .

More than anything I wish I could be- so often I wish I could just be a man. Then I could do and say all of the things that I want with greater freedom and acceptance. As a chick people have to get over the fucking packaging they see me in before they are able to just see me for what I am. Guys can be disgusting, ambitious, weird, multifaceted, and just not give a fuck, and screw up- and people just accept it. As a woman I feel like my mistakes are amplified. Just the fact that a man could even desire modesty as an important quality in a woman makes me wonder what kind of fucking life I am supposed to lead born into this kind of body. Everywhere I go and everything I do- I am a woman when I do it, rather than just a person.

My last boss at the lawfirm was just like- "Heather, how did you get to be so interested in things that boys are typically interested in? Why do you do the things you do?" By this I think he meant my activities in website design, politics, video editing, law, philosophy, comedy, and taste in movies. Well I guess there's a few answers to that. First off- those things are far more interesting then, well, what the hell are girls supposed to be interested in anyway by modern standards? Are we not expected to be good at much else than hanging out with girlfriends and getting degrees for the sake of meeting future husbands? Am I supposed to fall in love with handbags and work for world peace and drink cosmos and listen to popular top 40 radio hits? Am I supposed to call daddy or my neighbors every time I need to fix something or put together IKEA furnature? Am I supposed to suck?

I am not simply going to tailor my personality so that men find me attractive- as many poor young ladies out there do. And in order to be who I want to be in the world, I am going to have to be ugly sometimes. By ugly, I don't mean decietful, back stabbing, dishonest or mean. I mean that I am going to have to be a little full of myself. Now men can get away with this flawlessly. But for women you've got the attractive factor to battle.

There is no female "Trump" in this world. I do not like Trump because he is too full of himself, and also because there isn't much that's appealing about him other than last season's apprentice, and I surely didn't watch the show to see him. But he is a cocky bastard, and he is still accepted and admired. Martha Stewart is no less full of herself and less despicable- but she is chastised and spit on. If she was a man, people wouldn't fucking care that she's mean. mark my word- she would get away with it.

But if I want to do anything more with myself in this world I have to believe in myself and think that there is something great about me. It's imperitive for me to feel that way. Every celebrity, male or female, is successful because they believe that they are great at something (unless of course they are trust fund babies). That's what celebrity is- it is the result of marketing a person. It is an individual going out into the world and say, hey- look at me, I am great at this! Watch me sing, watch me dance, watch me direct this movie! And for women you either have to think you are great at something- or you have to get naked and get a boob job and blow someone to get somewhere. And sorry, but this chick isn't going to do a spread for Hef. Even if I was born with massive knockers, long blond hair and a barbie waist and was offered 1 billion dollars- sorry- no. But I would do a spread for Herb Ritts for the price of a Big Mac. That's just me.

I must unapologetically be unbecoming and be just a little full of myself if I want to take a step beyond my own ordinary. I don't want to be a Marylin Monroe- the depressed icon of classic beauty whose opinion we know nothing of, only the shape of her legs and her face, who killed herself- or a Mona Lisa, a quiet subject who says nothing and is simply coy as she is stared at by admirers. I look up to Madonna far more. I want to be a real and whole human being, and shed the body of woman. (Ps- on a superficial level I still do enjoy lipgloss and pink skirts, don't get me wrong. . .) I simply aspire to be seen as someone with some kind of talent and ability. I am not even sure what I will pursue just yet, though I have some ideas. Heather Fink- director, writer, etc. I am not interested in being beautiful, I am interested in creating something, and actualizing whatever potentials are in me. And if for one second you find yourself saying, my, how concieted, or how egotisitical, go ahead. I guess it's the sacrifice I am willing to make in order to actually be "all that I can be". And I think that the very concept of achievement innately requires ego, self love, and self confidence. You have to know your own worth before cashing in on it.

So. To the men and women of the world who wish I blushed a little more, or apologized a little more, or held back an opinion here and there, and was maybe less simple, more lady like, more accomodating, less harsh, and good god- more modest LIKE HUNDREDS OF OTHER PRETTY GIRLS IN THIS WORLD . . . fuck you.

____________________________________

Had some tequila last night, forgot how good it is. It's Friday night. Yay. Fiesta.

This picture is so stupid.

PS- Blink 182 Dude Ranch was a great album, but I whole heartedly believe that all albums after that one from Blink 182 totally suck, and the lyrics aren't as fun and orginal as they used ta be either . . .

And Steven Spielberg will be shooting some of ."War of the Worlds" in Bayonne, NJ, also the home of Nada Surf's "popular" video. That's cool.

Ivan will be arriving in New Jersey this evening. I hope he also doesn't come into my basement like Francis did.

One last note. I googled my mom. It's fun to be able to quote her saying "businesses need competitive intelligence to gauge their performance, says (I'm keeping her first name private) Fink, enterprise market manager for Lexis-Nexis. Working from her home office in (private), Fink asks her customers what information they need to do their jobs well.
“They need to know what’s out there from pricing, feature, functionality, all the way around,” says Fink. “If you are delivering a product, you need to know that you are doing the best you can. You’re trying to become a preferred provider."

Indeed mommy, indeed that is important if you are trying to become a preferred provider.