Sunday, October 31, 2004

Anybody seen Bill?


Tell him I'm lookin for him.

Fuck I drank too much last night. But alas, I got home, and of course destroyed my apartment again- do you do that? When you come home drunk you somehow manage to knock everything over, and stuff ends up in weird places? Dammit Pantyhose. (That's a new expression I just came up with just now- dammit pantyhose. Yeah, that's pretty lame of me, eh? Whatever dude, I'll just use my Uma powers on you then we'll see who's lame. Oh, still me? Cool. Whatever.)

Happy Halloween.

UMA!


And finally, fucking thank you Eminem, check out this video:
http://mosh.eminem.com/video/

Thursday, October 28, 2004

But there's no mention of the Commodore . . .


If you take any pleasure in this, then you will surely enjoy the:
Best link ever.

Fucking thank god and finally those Red Sox won. And I think we all just wanted it to happen so damn bad already- hence the sweep. And the World Series was just so boring compared to the thingy before with the Yankees and Red Sox. I just wanted to see the scores already. But that's it for me and sports at least for now. Get off my damn tv set. I am ready for the O.C. baby. Bring it on full force. I'll be damned if watching Adam Brody, Rachel Bilson, and Peter Gallagher on the tele isn't just the most delightful thing there is. Ok well maybe getting blown is the most delightful thing there is.

Got another show today. And we have to cut some lines for this show cause last time we went over 15 minutes and another play was on after. We don't have to for the other shows cause we are up last on the nights. But today, we have to do some butchering. I hope it doesn't suck. But there are many lines to choose from. The freaking show was 2 hours and 15 minutes long- but hey, there was intermission. For anyone coming to the show- I encourage you to pee before it starts. Last time it was all over the seats. But I guess that's what happens when your audience is filled with puppies. Puppies just LOVE political satires. You can't keep them away from the theatre around election time.


We always got a line of these damn things out the theatre for miles. But don't worry. Today I bought puppy spray. It's a mix of Mace and Chanel Number 5. That'll take care of those puppy bastards.

Oh god do I hate myself for saying that.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Scrumptious Little Babies


What happens to women without men? Hmm, I dunno- World peace . . . or naked tickle fights at pajama parties? No, not tickle fights. Yeah, I'd have to say, a world without men would be a world without war and violence, and fucking sweet lipgloss for everyone. And perfect bionic manbots with Brad Pitt bodies, Colin Ferrell faces, Bill Clinton smarts, Vincent Gallo creativity, and Hugh Grant personality. Or at least I'd buy that one for me.

So, one performance down, 4 to go. It went well. But I just don't want to pat myself on the back or feel good about it until it's all over. It's funny too cause at the end of the play I feel so worked up, exhausted, and upset. I mean, I'm not really upset- it's just hard to shake off what I just had to let out on stage. Anyhow, right after the show, I remember that I have belly dancing at 7:30. And I go. And it's like a killer class where we do all these elaborate hip movements. Yeah, so I was beat. My room's a mess. It's a sad sad sight. And oh yeah- don't even think about coming to the show on Fri, Sun, or Mon nights without reservations. Yesterday's audience was bigger than expected, and it was, well- a Tuesday afternoon. This is a really good and a bad thing to me. I mean it's great to have good audiences- but I just don't want anyone I know to be turned away.

The Spongebob movie is coming. And I predict that it could be one of the top grossing movies of all time. Not only does it look spectacular (good lord I love Alec Baldwin!!!), but I expect it will be as well written as the show always is. And- it's going to pull in two huge and diverse crowds. It will pull in all the little kids- the kids that made Nemo the big bucks, and their families who watch with them AND the college aged, young, hip, likes rated R movies crowd- because Spongebob has already reached that audience via the tv show. I personally can't wait to see this.
Click here for the trailor

This movie looks really good too: In Good Company

What to do Halloween Saturday?
So lots of bars are having Halloween parties- I narrowed my interest down to these two:
1. McFaddens
2. Mannahatta, only 10 dollars if you call ahead
3. Hoboken?
4. Somethin else?

But I do know what to do on Election day after I vote. I am gonna go to The Madison in Hoboken, where the Hoboken Democratic Party will be holding its election watch party.

If Kerry wins, or wins Pennsylvania and Florida, I will buy whoever is with me a bottle of champagne (to share, of course), and maybe I'll even get down like in that Dr. Dre video (nuthin but a g thang baby?) and start pouring celebratory beers all over myself. If he loses, I'll cry- just like on tv- but like for real in person! Wanna see? Join me for one of the most important events in living history- the 2004 election. Will America do for me what the Red Sox did for Boston recently? Will we go from pathetic and embarrassing fuck-up of a nation run by Bush- or will be a legitimate, respectable country once again? I guess we'll find out just how stupid or smart we all are soon enough.

IMed to me today-
: Why dont you get a new boyfriend?
: i know thats prolly not that easy, but you are fink
: yer a stage actress
: and a blog writer
Hm. Didn't think about it like that before. But I think first, I'd like new pantyhose. All mine have got rips in em.

Oh, and a different friend told me yesterday that somebody told her that the Chinese food restaurants in France had gotten in trouble for making their food with baby meat. And she believed this and was very concerned and upset. Awesome. That's so so awesome.

Hmm, I have more to say today. But perhaps I've said enough. Oh no I've said too much. But that was just a dream. That's me in the corner.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

A man tickles a robot.




Quote from a friend's email today, "Yo, I’ve never shaved my pupes! Alright!"

Pupes is totally an awesome thing to call pubes instead of calling them pubes (regardless of spelling intentions). And might I suggest that you try incorporating this word into your vocabulary and using when trying to impress, as in (pulling forward pants for demonstration) "Yo, these are my pupes." or "Hey lady/sir, check out my pupies! (pronounced p-you-pees)" or what's sure to be a winner, (gently nudge your company before speaking) "Them are pupes." (then show evidence).

So the first performance is today at 4pm! Yikes! I love this play, I love this part, I love my costars, playwrite, director- I want to be good!

I'm a bit nervous!

In the news: R&B heartthrob Usher is reportedly the unwitting star of a new pornographic tape, featuring him having sex with two women. The tape was allegedly made seven years ago when Usher was 19, after he had performed at a nightclub. It features a naked woman moaning "Ush" while TLC track "Waterfalls" plays in the background.
Ew. Not only do I never want to see Usher having sex, but there is something totally frightening about someone moaning Ush (even if your name is Usher, but wtf kind of name is Usher anyway? It's a name for Looosers), but doing it to "waterfalls"? That gives me indigestion. And indignation. And acid reflux.

And my girl Paris made a well-stated comment recently: "You always want to be with someone who's your biggest fan and treats you like a princess. When you date someone who bosses you around and is jealous of your career, it's not fun. I'm going to take a break from getting into another relationship. I've never been single in my life, and I think it's time I get to know myself. (Guys) come and go.. I've learned that you can only count on yourself to make you happy. And I'm fine with that."
Ah, there's nothing more refreshing than quoting Paris Hilton and meaning it. Well actually, have you ever sat in 240 dollars worth of pudding? That's not bad either.

Awww yeah.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Ouch Ouch


It's all fucked up.
Ouch ouch. It's almost November and I still have a daily pain in my heart. Broken hearts hurt, physically. It's surprising. It's like in Something's Gotta Give, and Diane Keaton just cries and cries really loud for days and days over this guy who just came into her life for a really short time, but she fell in love with him, and he's all a jackass about it. And then Jack Nicholson thinks he's having another heart attack, but it's just heart ache and he doesn't recognize the feeling. And I am giving away this movie, but who cares, it doesn't ruin it, Diane Keaton gets with Keanu Reeves in the meantime, and that's the next step that makes sense to me as of late. Cause all I seem to care about lately is how good looking a guy is. Not that I don't respond favorably to dynamic personalities, I am just not interested in men in that way for right now. I mean I want quality friendships, I like meeting and spending time with new people, and I also want really really hot looking peices of ass. Like so hot that quite possibly they are unintelligent, cuz their hotness has seeped into their brains and there's no room for thought.

Models. I want models. I have made out with two models, and I really can't complain one bit. Both were memorable, great, and perfectly wonderful just for that day/night. But I must say the foreign one was better. So scratch that. I want international models. I deserve international models too. Cause I am a nice lady. And I make good dinners. I can even make a good tomato sauce and I'm not Italian. And I can give really good back massages. Oh yeah and I know how to belly dance now. It doesn't look like belly dancing. It looks a lot like Hellen Keller when she freaks out and is all like pissed off at her miracle worker. But still, that's kinda hot, right? And finally, I can also spit stuff like really far. I could spit a small round object something like 15 feet. That's not even true but I am trying to impress you so let's just pretend I am capable of such talents.

Bruce Campbell is not a male model but he's really sexy too. I like him cause of his Army of Darkness and Evil Dead, and I still really wanna see Bubba Ho-Tep. He's silly. And weird. See, I would go out with him. He's more than a pretty face.

I hate my apartment. I hate that I pay the same amount as other people with beautiful two bedroom apartments and plenty of room for both people, and I am stuck in this fucking cramped one bedroom with another person because my evil peice of shit boyfriend decided to cheat on me and dump me one week after I moved in. ONE FUCKING WEEK later! Ugh. That's just so beyond retarded. Why did it occur to him to do this just then, at that time? Peice of shit liar! He's such a liar telling me he knew all along he was gonna do it. Then why did he wait till I was already moved into our place! I almost always need to kick something when I see how nice my fellow Hobokeners places are who pay the same amount. ARggg!

How I feel on the inside when I think about it.

But then, things could be worse, and they are worse for others, blah blah blah.

The feeling of anger by now is just fleeting anyway. Like I get angry if I think about it, but I've got plenty of other stuff to flood my mind- exhibit A- this blog and all the random crap that ends up here.

Twinkies!

Or- child abuse? You decide.

VOTE.

Play Info

"Damage Control" will be playing at these times this week-
Tuesday 4pm
Thursday 2pm
Friday 8pm
Sunday 7pm
Monday Nov 1 8pm (for this performance you can reserve tix by calling 347 526 7275)
at The Producer's Club 358 W 44th St

Buy tickets here-
http://www.theatermania.com/content/show.cfm/show/106799 I encourage you- if you can- to go to the Tues, Thurs, or Monday shows because Friday and Sunday will probably sell out. So at least reserve ahead of time.

ABOUT THE PLAY- It's a well written, funny and serious commentary on American politics and campaigns. Basically, a Senate campaign takes place in the South. And then stuff happens.

And warning, the theatre is small and it blows- but there is a nice little bar, and a short intermission. And don't leave at intermission cause it heats up in the second act BTW . . .

Also, the play isn't short. It's a solid 2 hours. And the theatre is in the space at the top of the stairs- top floor.

Hmm, what else?
If you live in Hoboken, it's really easy if you take the bus from Washington Street to the Port Authority, exit the Port Authority on 9th Ave, and walk uptown 3 blocks to 44th. Make a right, it's near the corner there, the entrance is next to "Joe's Pub" and the Awning says "PC" for Producer's Club on it.

Otherwise, find your way to 44th st and 9th ave. You'll see it. The A,C,E stops right near there too. (It's between 8th and 9th, closer to 9th)

And if you happen to know any producers or philanthropists, encourage them to come. The playwrite's goal is to have this picked up and turned into some big budget production. So yeah, invite such people.

Friday, October 22, 2004

"How to" be sexy, for boys.

1. Don't shave your pubes. Please don't. Just trim if you must.
2. Wear boxers or boxer briefs or nothing at all. Only cowboys look cute in tighty whiteys.
3. Get all shy and embarrassed easily.
4. Have a sport that you like. Even if you are artsy, know some requisite boy things.
5. If you can pull it off, have stubble, but goatees suck. Mustache and beard.
6. Have soft, messy hair.
7. Wear college boy clothes- dirty, worn, messed up jeans, oh and I really like when boys wear a short sleeve shirt over a long sleeve shirt. Dunno why, but I do. And cute sneakers. Definately sneakers. And have beat up hats. Smelly old casual beat up clothes are the best.
8. Wear manly smelling deoderant instead of cologne. Works like magic.
9. Argue with me!
10. Have a cool scar somewhere. Battle wounds are hot, even if the scar is actually cause you tripped over some bullshit and fell onto some other kinda bullshit.
11. Somehow accidentally lift up your shirt, like when you are taking off an overshirt or you are reaching for something, or scratching your belly. Let me see that happy trail.
12. Yes, have a cute happy trail. It's a happy trail cause it leads to happies!
13. Do something really cool with yourself, or unique or something. Watching you play a sport, perform on a stage, perform music, or whatever else you do, is tha bomb diggity.
14. Have a third testicle.
15. Smoke "the other white meat" occasionally, but not cigarrettes.
16. Drink beer. Good beer.
17. Watch Ali G, and know what "the State" is, and like cats.
18. Let me know, in your own special way, how bad you want it.
19. But then act like it's no big deal.

Now of course, sexy can still be there without all these requirements, cause sexy is as sexy does, and can defy all the rules if a boy has got it all right. Oh, and don't have a third testicle.

I have a hangover. Only 3 drinks- but I guess they were big and filled with vodka. Went to a weird place too- it was like a trendy lounge with video projectors, red, weird lighting, typical city stuff- but it was a burger place. People had little trendy trays of mini burgers and fries sent to the table (they were really tasty) and there were little anorexic girls in stupid clothes actually sitting around eating burgers and fries. Hmm. Maybe they were bullemic. Perfect establishment for the bullemic out on the town.

I need to buy new lip gloss. Mmmm lip glosss...

Oh yeah, and we had our first rehearsal in the theatre space. Typical tiny little run down times square theatre. If it's not broadway, I tell ya, all theatres in the coveted times square/broadway area are little cramped peices of shit. I guess they are all on a budget. But the bar/lounge and offices are really nice there. The theatre on the other hand, they just don't seem to throw as much money into. Well it's not that bad- but for people who haven't seen small productions in NYC, you might be a little WTF about it.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Bravo Red Sox


Mmmm pancakes.

I do recall saying in an earlier post that the Red Sox should stop their bitching and just win already. Well they did, and a series like this couldn't have been fucking scripted. This was great television, the greatest most amazing stakes. Honestly, I either wanted them to fail miserably after that 3rd game, or to win it all as they did. Cause either scenario is I guess the extreme of both ends. If they had lost yet again so poorly, I would expect that they'd be doomed to years of undeserved admiration cause they are pathetic and miserable with unparralled self-loathing. But they won.

And it's cool, and it's rewritten history. If only the great sports writers of the past were around to throw their romanticized prose into the mix. The ones that back in the day would recite sports poetry on radio shows, when people couldn't see it on tv.
As far as the living sports writers, there's Roger Kahn, here's some of his great sports quotes:
"A major league baseball team is a collection of 25 youngish men who have made the major leagues and discovered that in spite of it, life remains distressingly short of ideal."
"Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye."
But anyhow, back to business. Are the Red Sox no longer the sad underdogs? Surely if they win the World Series they won't be. But as far as the nation is concerned, this experience is just as good an ending to the story as any. They have won. Who cares about the damned series, eh? Will anyone hate Yankees any less? Will people appreciate how good the Yankees are and what a fight they gave the Red Sox? Will people appreciate the fact that if it wasn't for teams like the Yankees, there wouldn't be teams like the Red Sox? Well either way, they performed, they showed what they could do. They put aside bitching and moaning, didn't let their beating wear them down, and they showed us all what they could do. You just have to respect that. But maybe they are so into getting their asses beat, that Game 3 was what fueled them for this sensational finale. Who knows. But the documentary filmmakers out there are all creaming over this. Expect like a hundred new ones to be spewed out and played on Sunday afternoons.

But there's a more important Bostonian that I need to win. John Kerry. I will cry big tears of joy and shower in champagne if he wins. I want it so bad it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it. Honestly, that's why I don't campaign anymore. I care too much, it hurts.

Anyhow. Let's move on.

One of my bosses (I have two, cause one's a producer and the other is a director and they do different projects) is going to Italy, and he had told me since I started working here that maybe we'd go shoot a project out there and I could come. But that project fell through and he's going anyway, and he invited me to come, and I'd be paid for work anyway. Now this sounds really freakin cool. A chance to go to Italy and be paid- wow. But, since there isn't work to be done, I am not sure how I feel about it. Is it weird? I am not sure if I should be excited yet. But Tuscany, um, I'd love to. And it would be in November already. What do you all think?

And it's just so weird how fast my life seems to be going lately. It's just so crazy to me that I used to work so so hard for everything I've achieved, and lately things are falling into my lap. I mean, I had never gotten a role in a play, that comedy group, or into law school without some struggle, some odds stacked against me. But everything is just different for me now. Opportunities have been falling into my lap like crumbs off cookies.

Yesterday I met this delightful playwrite/actor who was actually a little /psychic. After chatting with him for just seconds, he knew I was a Gemini and he guessed my exact birthday. Wild, huh? And I am studying my lines and he asks me if I am an actress, and my answer is "sort of, but I am more interested in . . .". By the end of the conversation I have this damn good, fresh, modern play in my hands, he's interested in me to act in it, and help him turn it into a screenplay and help produce it. So, I've already got more creative stuff to do after this play, wild, huh? I'm happy about it. This guy was really delightful, a British guy- just so much fun to listen to. You know, every time a guy finds out my favorite movie is Terminator 2 they just go nuts. But I only tell it cause I have such a deep love for that damn movie. But man, every time.

And even this morning, I met another delightful guy, when I got my coffee. You know, every bartender and waitor in this town has a story. They are all more than what meets the eye. It's fantastic. It's almost absurd how many great people are here. And I want to talk to all of them!

Tonight I have plans to attend an seemingly small gathering of chaps for a SoHo bar crawl. I suppose I will be crawling, even before I drink, since I am gonna have another long and draining rehearsal after work. Last night's rehearsal felt great though. I really hadn't been enjoying it too much lately- it's really hard work, and I hadn't felt much of any reward from it lately. But last night we were all completely off-script for the first time and I saw it all come together, and began to really feel the "poignant" moments much more deeply than before. I enjoyed it. But by the end I am mentally drained. Whatever, I gotsta have fun tonight cause I don't know if I can go out Friday. I'll be getting out of rehearsal really late n all. But who knows, I am not good at staying in anymore.

Blog readers. I love you all. I appreciate you. You tell me who you are sometimes, but then you are too shy to leave comments. Perhaps you are a special group of people- elusive, brooding, you like your coffee strong and hard and black. But you maybe think leaving comments isn't cool, and that it's for dorks. Well it is for dorks, but I am a dork, and it feels good to be sometimes. Try it. You may like it. Even if it is under an alias.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Oh well. We are the "whatever" generation


so . . . whatever. Another silly thing done, won't be my first, most certainly won't be my last. Hell some of you may know the video highlight of my college career (ya know, the thing about the balls?). I have no aversion to extreme public stupidity. I actually have something else shocking up my sleeve that I've told no one yet. And I'm not gonna. Ha! Reminds me of this quote I read the other day- "Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives
they must lead." - Charles Bukowski

As a crazy SOB, I can tell you from years of personal experience, it's the best way to live. I am happiest as an untamed beast.

David Hasselhoff knows how to be Crazy.

Which I am best at when I am single. In reaction to the horror of last night's episode, where everything was edited out except when I talked about my ex, I will reassure you all, yes- I have been canoodling with other boys- and I AM able to move on little by little. Ugh. Canoodling? I just used the freakin lamest word ever! But nonetheless I am stickin with it. Here, let me count how many boys I have either dated and/or made out with since the breakup . . . 10. A nice even 10. That's all the fingers on the hands. It's not bad, right? And no sex- so- I'm still a good little disease free girl (Or pimp daddy if you will. I will.)!

Ok now- ENOUGH ABOUT ME!

I got the Wicker Park soundtrack in the mail today. It's very very good.

Belly Dancing was lots and lots of fun. I am learning how to shake my ass like an expert. I want a certificate of that when I am done. That would be cool.

Oh, and how bout that there baseball. That Schilling dude is admirable and amazing, especially with all the bleeding. But without him I think the Red Sox suck. Arroyo is a cutie pie but he's no Schilling. It would be so cool if the Yankees were rich enough to buy him. Cause I would appreciate the comic elements of that. I know Schilling wouldn't do it- but man how pissed the BoSox would be!

I dunno if I am a Yankees fan, but I like to see them win. I like great things. Also, everyone hates the Yankees- it's so tired and stupid. So- one team over history is kinda special and super successful. They've been around forever, and like any good business with staying power, they are going to stand out. But teams do beat the Yankees, and they don't win every World Series. They just raise the bar and create a challenge and a very fun rivalry. Also, it's lame when people hate on success. And it's lame when people hate on people who have money. And if you hate on Yankees for being cocky- um- helllllooo- that's sports! Sports is all about that. Fantasy sports is all about shit talking, and sports fans are all about shit talking, and teams are all about shit talking. It's testosterone and competition for the sake of it, because in our daily lives we don't have enough opportunities to gloat.

O'Doyle Rules!

Video of the day: "Look what you've done" by Jet
http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/jet_rock_/artist.jhtml

Fuck yeah they manipulated it

They took out everything that everyone else said! Especially before I started crying that girl said all this shit to me and they took it right out! And then also they have me talking on and on and on, and but they actually cut two things together, and the other people were talking to- so it looked like it was just me. Yes. I do talk too much. But that was bad. Those bastards!

And they left out all the really funny parts.

Vomit.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Oh, I see why Yankees Haters like Red Sox

Cause they are good at irritating Yankees fans with their 35th inning wins! And also- Johnny Damon irritates me, because he's only kind of hot, but why can't he be totally hot? It's his nose. It reminds me of Chuck Norris. And I don't find Walker Texas Ranger remotely hot. It's just everytime I think I am looking at eye candy, I look at him a little longer, and realize his face is irritating. That Arroyo kid is cute with his little Beckhamish cornrows though. But still, my heart belongs to my favorite most sexy baseball player of all time, Daryl Strawberry.

And I've been learning too. Yesterday I found out what a "ball" was (as in ball versus strike) cause for some reason I thought it was when the pitcher throws the ball at you and hits you or something, but then I realized that you get balls when they don't actually hit you. But the second mystery was much harder to figure out. I had to ask like a billion people why the red sox had muds on their hats. Yankees fans all said cause Red Sox are dirt bags. Unconvinced of this analysis, I finally found out that it was "pine tar", and they do it for luck. Weirdos. Might as well tape garbage to their helmets. That would be neat.

And one final note, the economy makes Heather an old fashioned girl. I used to insist on splitting the tab, but two cheap boyfriends and a Bush economy later, if you offer, Heather accepts. Heather most certainly, greatfully accepts.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Awesome. Totally awesome.

http://elimidate.warnerbros.com/?frompage=sitemap
Click on "Tuesday", then click on my face, then read my quote.


(PS- I even said on the show that I'm not a law student anymore- I dunno them people working there aren't so bright I guess - check on their grammar as well . . .)

Update- I just found out the title of this episode is "a contestant breaks down". That would be me. Super awesome. This most certainly will be embarrasing. Yay!

A complete recap of the experience is in my August archives

Let's Snuggle.


Salvador Dali with Walt Disney back in the day.
Destino
I began my weekend by seeing this animated short after work and discovering yet another beautiful stretch of SoHo on my way. This time it was Broome St. I discovered a chocolate store/bar, where they just had all kinds of chocolate treats, and this wine store/bar that specializes in wines from the Hudson valley, and when you go in you can taste all the wines, and sample away. Then on my walk home, I saw the best little kitten in a store window, and then I saw the most amazing lobsters in the world. It was on Bleeker at this place called "Fish", and they had fresh seafood on display. And there where these two lobsters in the window and they were the biggest ones I've ever seen. The width of the claw was at least 5 inches- no kidding. And I thought maybe it was fake, but then I saw its antlers moving around and its ugly little breathing flappy things moving too. I can't even guess how many pounds it was. It looked like it could've been 10 lbs, and there were two of em! Crazy lobsters!

They looked like this and they were very big.

I had been feeling kinda down earlier that day so I appreciated all the things the city offered to entertain me. And then my roommate wanted to go to this SHU Law party thingy in Hoboken, and I was like, well sure, it's only a few blocks away, why not. At first I felt kind of stupid going to this party when I don't go to the school anymore. But I actually ended up having a lot of fun. Which I guess can happen when you have low expectations, and you get really really drunk. All I know is that I said absurd things to people which were . . . entertaining . . . to remember in the morning, and I managed to break the lamp by my nightstand, and somehow my purse was buried in my closet. And I had a mysterious color on my tongue in the morning and I didn't eat anything that color. That's never happened to me. And I still have no answers to that disconcerting mystery.

About baseballs

I decided that I am not a fan of either team because I just don't like how that divides people. I can appreciate both teams and both sets of fans, but here's something I don't get- why do Yankees Haters like the Red Sox so much if they have such a hard time beating them? I mean don't you think that Yankees Haters would love a team that actually beat them more often? But here's why I don't entirely dislike the Red Sox. Their sadness and patheticness is kind of charming. And the fans are weird and I like weird.

But I am still leaning on the Yankee side. I remember when I was little, I only even thought there were two teams in the world- Mets and Yankees. They were the only ones I ever heard of. The whole baseball world was a weird mystery to me. My dad doesn't watch sports and neither does the rest of my family. So actually it was from these two brothers that I grew up with that I had any insight on the mysterious world of baseball. I just faintly remember them talking about these two teams, Yankees and Mets, and I think one liked one and the other liked the other. But I just never knew anyone who cared about baseball before. Even still, it wasn't until last year that I had someone in my life that gave a shit about it. And I decided Matsui is my favorite Yankee. He's just too cool. Oh yeah, and I like base running. That's when it's exciting. I remember on Saturday, even though they got creamed, the Sox had some nice plays. Or at least some impressive ones, like when they all were running on the bases and were safe- I think that was the 3rd inning. And please don't expect me to know what I am talking about- all I know is when I am entertained.


There's all these ads during the games about Chevy being an American Revolution. Um, what on earth kind of stupid ass revolution are they referring to? Like, rise up trucks, against your truck opressors? Who's opressing the trucks? Is this something I don't know about? Well if that is going on I guess that's upsetting. Trucks are ok. I guess maybe they are maketing the car to revolutionaries? Like it's the car that Che or Marx would've driven? Or maybe like, Harriet Tubman would drive a Chevy. And then people could throw up their fists at her and yell "crazy woman driver, get off the road" and Harriet Tubman would give them the finger from the safety and security of her rugged 4 by 4 pick up truck, and then maybe she would plow them over with her 20-inch wheels.

Sunday night I was a bit disappointed in myself. I had gotten on the guest list for the New York film festival closing night party. And last year's party was attended by Gael Garcia Bernal, Natalie Portman, Naomi Watts, Benicio Del Toro. Surely this would've been a night to remember. But I didn't go cause it was just too damned cold. And it was a Sunday night. And it was all the way on the upper west side near lincon center. It would've been a pain in the ass. Oh well, I suppose nippy weather is one of my daddies.

I also saw an amazing movie: Reversal of Fortune- And Jeremy Irons got the Oscar for this in 1990. Glenn Close blew me away in it too. And the characters were so absurb and interesting- that's why it shocked me to discover it was a true story. See this freakin movie if you can.

Ah well, in final news, I had written about an amazing Comedy Talent from New Zealand I think back in July, "Flight of the Concords". Well, I freakin knew they were somethin. NBC has already snatched them up with some development deal. Soon enough you will all be able to enjoy their brilliant comedy too!

And what's with the title of this post?

I just love snuggling! Yay snuggling!

Yay snuggle bear!

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Back Fat

Though a long standing issue of controversy, back fat is, in fact, the funniest fat.

Friday, October 15, 2004

So, maybe you need some advice.

It's a gloomy, dull day. On days like these it's important to think of friends. If you don't have friends, I recommend them. They are nice to have. As a Tiny Toons episode that I watched as an innocent nubile young girl pointed out to me, "Friendship is the secret of life."

So here's a guide to how to make friends:
1. If you are going to make friends, you are going to have to have the right outfit on. Now ask yourself, if someone is going to like me, what outfit would make them like me? The answer is here. This outfit:

Now you might say, "Can I carry off such high fashion? I've never worn couture before." Worry not. This outfit is unisex, and it looks great on everyone, so that's why I am recommending it. I would not steer you wrong.

2. Select a friend. Make sure that your target is a "cool dude", a sort of modern Gatsby, cool, aloof, and unsuspecting.

A cool dude.
Do not be thrown off by fancy sunglasses. This is an age old trick used to lure people. Friendships with such people often end up wrapped in malicious pyramid schemes.

Don't be fooled by one of these people.

3. Mark your territory. Watch out for suspicious onlookers who may hone in or your target friend.

Not to be trusted.
(Photo Courtesy of Chichester District Council website www.chichester.gov.uk)

4. Next, you'll actually have to walk up to your new friend. It is best to approach quietly from behind or from an angle.


5. Once your new friend has taken notice of your presence, it's your chance to charm them. You've got to know what to say. A simple "Will you be my friend?" will not work. Especially not with a cool dude. What you've got to say is something universally appealing, like "Hey, that governor of New Jersey is gay." or "Hey, aren't you a black person? I think slavery was wrong." or "Yo, what's up, Ja Rule's new single is slammin. Slammin!" Or you could play real cool and throw them a curveball like, "I'm not a virgin."

And that's really all it takes. I'm sure you'll do fine on your own from here. Remember, the hard part is luring them in. But it works for me, and I have a multitude of friends.
These are my friends.

I cherish them.

Sometimes (almost never unless you are worthless) this method doesn't work. So that's when you've got to take initiative. You might try handing out an informational booklet about yourself, highlighting your good qualities.

This method worked for Patricia!

Good luck. I care about you.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

bonus

Thanks Zack (zlab.org)
for this:
http://www.daddydesign.com/Barney.html
and this:


And if you'd like one more fun link, here:
THANK YOU GAY ATHLETE
It's at least mildly amusing.

Ooh, and me too, Dani Kochavi. I loved that place, and reccommend it to all.

(Oooh, I just found out we might do a commercial with a very famous director! I hope it works out!)

Heather the Hater

There's all different kinds of haters, playa haters, Yankee haters, woman haters, Eskimo babies haters. But today I'm an ex-boyfriend hater, a Red Sox hater, and a South hater- all related in one obvious way, but still, worthy of my hating on an individual basis.

Correction: I had gone on about hating some things, but honestly I don't totally hate these things and I don't really like putting all that hate out there. I mean, I'll think the stuff I wrote, but in writing, it all just sticks around too long, SO- I am deleting it- but I will keep my opinion of the Yanks-Sox game. But even still, I don't hate the Red Sox. I pity them. And Yankees are underdogs in a different sense cause it's oh so cool to hate on them.


There's Tuna Haters too.

For about the past week or so I've been able to see with renewed clarity all of the things I hated about my ex. I even started to remember moments when he was such a jerk I was ready to dump his ass for being such a jerk. These are moments I almost totally forgot about. I find now that when I focus on these things, and feel that he totally sucked and I'm better off without him, I still miss what we had. I've just never been that close with someone. Having someone there constantly, eating, sleeping, going to every class at school together, and having him as a good friend like he was, it's easy to miss that. Sometimes when I am resetting my alarm clock so I can sleep a few minutes longer, I still think about having him there next to me, telling me to get up, giving me a hug or something before I go in the shower. Someone there to kiss to wake up when I'm out of the shower. Those moments before bed when neither of us could go to sleep. But that's more what we had than who he was. Because of these things, it's very easy to give him much more credit than he's ever deserved. But then again, there were still those times I had cried myself to sleep while he was on the other side of the bed, because he was being such an asshole.

(hating deleted)

Fuck it, I've decided- Yankees all the fucking way. What they are doing is just beautiful. And anyone who looks at their money as their secret to success is a dumbass. All these big teams have tons of money. If they really wanted to buy A Rod, they could've found the money. I don't doubt that for a second. I think it's the attitude and history of the Yankees that makes them win. And I understand the allure of rooting for the underdogs, but these Red Sox underdogs are just bitter whiney little bitches. And that comment from Pedro- pure stupidity. And the Yankees are hotter. The Red Sox just aren't a fun team to watch, and they complain too much. If they had a winning attitude, I think things would be different for them. But they are losers, still bitching about some curse that's like 80 years old. Plus the Yanks are skilled and they actually are able to entertain me, a girl who for all her life has treated sports on tv like some sort of evil infestation of my tv box. Go Yankees! I love New York! It would be so awesome if they won 2 more games in a row, but of course, I do think the Red Sox will win at least one.

If I were these people, I'd be mad at the Red Sox by now. Rise up, followers! Rise up against your oppressors!

In other news I am rooting for the Cardinals not for their skills but because they are pretty birds and I hate Texas but only because of George Bush and bad hair.

And quite honestly, I don't like the south either. I never have and I suspended judgment while dating the ex. I mean, some parts are pretty, a nice place to visit, good high cholesterol food, and I don't hold it against people for being from there. But these are people who will listen to crappy country music. Bad country music is totally way worse than bad pop music (but in fairness isn't worse than bad R&B). And they think it's legit to put "Christian" and "Rock" in the same sentence. Like there isn't something hella lame about Christian Rock. Why can't these bands just be made of Christian people rather than labeling their music by an ideology? There's no Pro-Choice Rock. I mean it's just stupid.
(hating deleted)

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Just Me and My Guitar.


Free Music!
Here, this week you can listen to 2 really good albums for free, streaming from mtv.com
Jimmy Eat World "Futures"
and this one, from someone I was curious about but hadn't really heard
Elliott Smith "From a Basement on the Hill"
it's good stuff.

Something I had decided recently is that I am actually not interested in dating or boys right now. I manage to be entertained by pretty faces, and still lured by whoever I think is the hottest guy in the bar or where ever- but I just don't want anything from him that I can't provide myself. All I want is to just look at him and enjoy the view. And this weekend will be my first after officially declaring that for myself. I mean, hell, sure, it's possible that some Mr. Awesome could come along out of the blue and change my mind, but right now, I just don't care about any boys at all. It's really likely that right now, Mr. Awesome could come along and I just ignore him and he fades away, and I'm totally ok with it. I'm just emotionally detached and disinterested and I am actually quite possibly the most challenging girl out there to conquer for any of those seek and destroy types. Cause I just don't care or have any interest, like, at all.

So moving onwards and forwards, I have turned my focus towards friends and art. This weekend after rehearsal I think I want to see one of the million things going on at Lincoln Center. The NYFF is going on right now, my office got a private invite to the after party. Seems like something I'd wanna check out, but it is on a work night . . . but maybe that doesn't matter. And they are showing this cool movie "Sideways" directed by the guy who did About Shmidt and some other stuff. It's got Paul Giamatti in it too, and the director and stars are gonna be there. They are actually showing a ton of other cool stuff I can't see cause of rehearsal. But there's Chamber Music and Operas too. All kinds of good stuff going on there.

So I'm not reallly living the stereotypical single-girl-in-the-city life, cause I'm just married to myself and my friends for now. That and I'm not dating. Dating is way lame anyways. I've always preferred just hanging out.

But then again, if I was ever approached by that "Berger" character from Sex in the City, I'd drop everything, even if he dumps me via "post it note", hell I was dumped via phone call. Almost as bad.


Oh yeah, and continuing as an impartial viewer, I was wowed by the Yankees once again. They played some fine ball. The Red Sox just seem so pissy sometimes. They need that winning spirit, I think the Yankees have that- this ultra confidence, and no I don't chalk it up to their money. Other teams do beat them all the time. The Sox just don't seem as fun and happy. Once again, I am still open to being wowed by them. They just haven't done it for me yet.

And this article just made me hungry for some yummy ribs.
Edwards Ribs Bush
So I went to go get some, and the owner asked me if it was my first time there, I say yes. He says, "It's on me." Nice. Free lunch!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Oh man

Now we read and hear about so much that's just irritating, bad, evil, sad. But that this still goes on. Fuck, man.

I can't believe this still happens and there's nothing I can do about it.

I need more protection, that's all.


Brian Wilson's new album
This looks fucking splendid. I must purchase this if it's the last 15 dollars I have. Oh and I also have to buy the OC soundtrack Mix 1 Mix 2. Don't scoff at this, it's a nice little compilation. Man, thinking about Pet Sounds, that is one of the finest albums ever recorded, so freakin beautiful, and it's just the kind of songs that grow finer with age like wine. They have such depth underneath all the sunshine. Good stuff.

This morning sucked ass. They were supposed to remove the boot from my fucking car yesterday. And they didn't. And so I waited around this morning for those assholes to do it. They came late. And they took my parking permit. Which is fine I guess. I dont want to fucking have a car anymore anyhow. It's a nuisance.

The cold has come and the city is already beginning to change and instantly morph to cold weather mode. Normally when I am walking home at 10pm on any given night when it is finally time to go home after rehearsal, the streets are still filled with people lookin for fun. But everyone is all snuggled indoors now. The mood is different too. I had dinner with a friend at Arturo's in the city yesterday, a modest reasonably priced little Italian place with plenty of personality. And this amazing Japanese woman was on Piano, singing away. It was far too cosy to be summer. It was the perfect thing to listen to while watching people zoom by in their fall jackets.

And here's a little secret for you if you don't already know. There is a little hot spot in the city that is a bit of a secret to the locals, but I checked it out briefly on Saturday, and it really attracts a nice crowd. Casual jeans n tees, college lookin people, but I'd say post-grad in age- aka- my age. And it's got a really friendly low key vibe. It's called "Chumleys" at 86 Bedford St. It's got no sign on the outside and you can't see in from the street. It's an old speakeasy converted into a restaurant/bar, and its going to be my new occasional hangout.

The inconspicuous entrance to Chumley's . . .

And now, products I would want for my survival if stranded alone on a desert island:
Whip-It! Push-Valve whipped cream chargers,
Anti-Panti,
the obligatory interactive computer game "CALL OF DUTY: UNITED OFFENSIVE",
and lots and lots of condoms.

Speaking of condoms, I feel I should promote the following message.

And if you think abstinence is the answer you must be a stupid virgin! Ha! Stupid Virgins! Virginity is for sluts!

Monday, October 11, 2004

News Update: Ass found.

I tried on some pants today that are actually my size. And boom, there it was. Thank god. I've lost too much lately to part with my ass.


Mmmm Bootylicious.

I hate life today.

Yeah, it's true. I started off the day with a boot on my car. The ticket reads "Permit Parking Only". Well I have a fucking permit (its a little sticker). But, it's registered for a different car. I didn't realize this was a big problem. Now I am down $205. Hooray. Hooray. I don't make any fucking money, and now I have to pay 205 dollars for parking some stupid car that I don't even drive anymore.

Ah it's all just bullshit. I am just all fucking sad about life cause I am not even close to being over everything that's happened. But I'm trying, really I am.

Since I can't be perky, maybe I'll just try being eventful. I have this little break between work and rehearsal, and so Friday I used that break to meet up with friend. One especially cool thing about this person is that he has a knowledge of all kinds of music I've never heard. So I look forward to his reccomendations. And at the restaurant we were at, this one girl I went to high school with, who used to drive me to school, waited tables. And so it was fun to see someone I knew at such a random spot- this restaurant on the block where I work. Turns out she's goin to NYU grad school. Fun. Actually this past week I bumped into a GW friend I hadn't seen in forever on the block where I work. It's nice when NYC seems less anonymous than usual.

Later that night I went out in Hoboken with my roommate. And I had the most delightful young man come up to me. Now he came up to us, I don't know why. We were ignoring him, with disinterested bitch faces on, and he comes up anyway, and starts with "Where are you guys from".
Me- Jersey (in a flat response)
Him- Yeah, where?
Me- Morris County
Him- Woah, I am from Chatham, where're you from?
Me- Roxbury
Him- Woah, they have that pet store there on Route 10 (very excited about this)
Me- Yes, they do.
Him- Yeah, man, I take my dog to that pet store, right there on route 10, Isn't that crazy? That pet store is crazy.
Me- Oh, excuse me for a second, I see my friend over there. Nice talking to you.

I mean, normally, I feel sympathy, but when a girl blatently tries ignoring you- don't go up to her! And if you do, you've got to have a hell of a lot more to say than how much you love the crrrraazzzy pet store in her home town. Also, in Hoboken, people like to ask where you live in Hoboken. And Hoboken is only a mile long, so everywhere in Hoboken is close. But without fail, every time, a guy asks, he responds with "Woah, I live near you." Of course you do, sweetheart, everyone in Hoboken lives near everyone else in Hoboken.

Hmm, and I saw that weird looking guy in the Dave Matthews videos in a nice restaurant this weekend, and then on Sunday, on a small quiet street, I exchanged smiles with Kate Hudson while she walked with her husband and baby. Man she's pale. But they really blend in with all the SoHo people.

Everyone's been talking about that new show "Desperate Housewives", a show which stars a bunch of desperate housewives, one of whom is played by Marcia Cross. When I was in high school, Melrose Place was on the air, and she was the star of it. I also used to dye my hair very red. At that time, people would aways tell me I looked like that crazy girl from Melrose Place (Kimberly for those of you who watched). And I heard it so damn much, I will never forget- when I was a freshman, I was on student counsel, and I went around to classrooms for some reason to give something to the teachers, and I went to this art teacher, and she turns me around to face the class, a class full of seniors, and exclaims "Doesn't she look just like that girl on Melrose Place!" And I'm just standing there like, um, please do whatever I came here for, while all the seniors stare at me like I am a big ol tool. Well now she's back, but this time around I think my face looks a little different, I am a little older, right?
Dead ringer? Nah, not anymore.

And I watched this movie, "Something the Lord Made", about the first heart surgery ever performed, and how this cool black dude, Vivien Thomas, was actually critical in its development, but these other white dudes got all the credit, made Life magazine and all- but he was pretty much unknown for all that he had done, until later in his life he was recognized for it. Mos Def is so awesome.

Time to continue being unappreciative of all I have and hating life, at least just for a few more hours. Later dudes.

Actually, no. I will just think about cupcakes, kitties, and bunnies.




Sunday, October 10, 2004

Ballz

So last night's Yankees/Twins game was the kind of game that a sports hater like me could truly enjoy. I really enjoy how those Yanks can come up from behind, and it's really damn cool and a lot of fun to watch. I mean, when they got all tied up 5-5 with that big ol hit that got lots of home runs at the perfect opportunity- don't expect me to know the damned lingo- but you know what I'm talking about. I loved it. I really do not have a favorite team. I am an "undecided voter" when it comes to watching the game. The Yankees won me over in these last few come from behind games.

And this is happening again:
Yankees vs Red Sox
And here's my take on that match up. Sox fans bitch all you want about your curse and how the Yanks got all this money and power and they're so hard to beat. But I say, Red Sox, you fucking suck it up and beat them already! You've got nobody to blame but yourselves and I would be entertained by a Red Sox win, but if I have to hear a repeat of the curse docudramas all over again, I am going to lose sympathy completely. Show us what you can do, Red Sox. And to the Yankees- make em sweat, make em work hard, make these some damn good games to watch. Cause yeah, honestly, I am partial to neither Red Sox nor Yankees. Sorry, ok? The only team I love doesn't exist anymore, and that's the Brooklyn Dodgers- which by the way is the baseball hat I would try to score if I was a boy. An oldschool Dodgers hat would be super fly.

Friday, October 08, 2004

I've just got to find myself this outfit and I'm all set


So there's all this hype about Paris Hilton and her 12 hour tape. But seriously, if someone followed me around like that I am positive they would find tons of stuff to make me look bad. Anything taken out of context can be twisted. I just don't like it cause I enjoy how silly and unedited that girl is. And it's not like she's trying to be anyone's role model, nor has she ever reached out to the little kids market like Britney Spears and Kobe Bryant- so what's the big deal? Apparantly she used the phrase "stupid niggers", but I have a hard time believing that she meant it seriously. Maybe a joke in poor taste- but I make so many comments in poor taste to like the one or two people I intend to hear it. I mean, I don't think she's wonderful or anything. I just think she's a fun celebrity and fun to watch- plus I feel certain that I don't really know her as a person. It's bullshit how the public tries to make celebrities more mediocre. Public opinion has already ruined our polticians and made them bland as hell (eg- remember that SNL sketch with Will Ferrel "Vote for him, he has no genitals"). Hmm, now that's a fun Halloween costume- Paris Hilton. I am buying a blond wig for the Kill Bill Costume anyway, and there's more than one day in the weekend . . . . I suppose I could find a dinner napkin and a peice of string and call it a dress . . .

Well, I kinda like this song, don't love it- but the video is really fun. I like.
http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/my_chemical_romance/audvid.jhtml
"I'm Not Ok"
And this song is sweet. It would be really perfect in a movie. I like the dancing in the video.
http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/thrills_ireland_/audvid.jhtml
The Thrills "Not for all the Love in the World"
And I've been trying to resist this video for personal reasons, but it's totally likable and totally, well, fabulous.

Plus I love me a good Sloe Gin Fizz. Click on "Portland Oregon".
And speaking of music, there's a lot of Dutch and German singles out lately that talk about America and are all political about the War, including Rammstein's new "Amerika" in German. This is interesting to me.

Rehearsal was great last night. I got to see all the other scenes in the first act for the first time. The other actors are so talented, I love it. The guy that plays the George-Bush-like character is sooo funny. At least I think so. I actually play the most straight character, least funny lines. My girl speaks a lot of the meat of the play- or at least the playwrite's POV. Someone asked me if the play is all against Republicans and all one sided and it's not- but at least as far as the first act is concerned, the Bush character is a lot more silly, so he gets made fun of a lot more. But both sides are shown good and bad, and you kind of have to listen to what's being said and you'll get a more well-rounded commentary.

Arg! Bush you motherfucker- you are making the Quarterlife Crisis Worse!

I'll sleep when I'm dead
This movie looks good to me, mostly because of its cast. I love Clive Owen (wish he'd be cast as the new Bond) and Charlotte Rampling is a fascinating woman, and Malcolm McDowell is in it (the star of A Clockwork Orange).

And the highlighted talent of the day must be Michel Gondry all of his new stuff looks so fabulous, and his old stuff most certainly is- especially his countless amazing music videos. Look into what he has done and will do next- some interesting stuff, comedy too, including some stuff with Dave Chappelle. I'd say he's most famous recently for directing Eternal Sunshine. He also writes. Oh yeah, and he's working on this new movie with Serge Gainsbourg's daughter, and Yummy Bernal.

PS- I just tried on my just purchased Uma wig and gallavanted about the office in it. Being super blond is kinda fabulous. I am gonna kill (bill) in this thing. Too bad I just went brown, ya know, for the fall n all.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

I got an airdate.


I will make you scroll down past this pretty picture for added suspense.

Yes- the dreaded airdate of the Elimidate show which I am on. I GUARANTEE I look like an asshole on the show- so, that said- I hope that my unusually skilled ability of acting ridiculous gets edited just right so that I look like a complete lunatic. Of course the woman on the phone said, oh no, you look fabulous on the show. I don't believe her. I will be taping it before I even think of letting my parents tune in.

So, turn on CBS/Channel 2 on Tuesday night, October 19
at 1:30am.

Scandalous Debauchery.

PS- New Beastie Boys single out is great- which I am happy about cause the earlier one was blah and that made me dissapointed in my cherished boys. And the new Eminem video blows, nothing new or cool about it. Yeah, he's had it.

"You know, I offer an annual percentage rate as low as 5.375% APR for a 30 year fixed rate conforming loan."

I got some spam from a Christian Mortgage Company. WTF is up with that? The lord doth want you to refinance your home? Damn pesky Christians. First it's book stores, then it's rock, stupid little bracelets, and now it's mortgages. Screw you guys. And stay the hell away from milk. I don't know why but I have this premonition that Christian milk is next and I really kinda feel protective about my milk so BACK OFF you sickos.

I have been having some luck lately. Well I had this particularly good day the other day, and have been bumping into an unsually large number of cherished old friends, and amongst other nice things happening, I found a 10 dollar bill on the ground. WOooOoo! That's 2 sandwiches right there.

Speaking of eating sandwiches, I can't find my ass. I lost weight a little while ago and it's kind of ridiculous. At first it seemed cool, but it's an awful lot. I think the only kinds of clothes that will look cool on me now are Paris Hilton clothes. But I don't want to wear that stuff. I want to wear my clothes. I have a little butt now, and that's ok, maybe even cute- but after years of having what my peers have termed as a "ghetto booty", I have come to the opinion that the booty is superior. Hell, I even learned to love the booty. I really miss you ghetto booty, now that you are gone. I have tried eating more hearty meals, but alas, I haven't heard from you in weeks, and I'm starting to think you've left me! Please call. I am sad without you.

Anyhow,
Things have been good lately. And I've made a conscious choice not to shroud myself in negative energy. There's things in this world that could piss me off so much, but what's less important is complaining, and what's more important is flushing out the bad stuff with good stuff. The only complaining I'll do from now on is about silly stuff. Actually, I just reminding myself of my own approach to feminism- the one I was pushing back in my GW days when I worked on an "all-new feminist group"- which got deprioritized with the birth of Capitol goga. But all of my writing was all about a movement that doesn't focus on what's wrong, bad, or unequal. It was simply about pushing forward, promoting female role models, creating opportunities, and highlighting women's achievements. And I suppose that's the approach to life I am embracing.

It doesn't make me feel good to have to think about all the negative stuff. When I let my mind absorb all the pain in the world, it's just exhausting. I don't want to volunteer my mind for a dip in the pool of bullshit that could bring me down. I don't intend to be ignorant of it either. I intend to be aware of it all. I am hyper aware of all the painful facts of my own world and society.

But

I'd rather try to make things work for myself and others in the most positive way possible. Screw all the mofos out there who do things the wrong damn way and frustrate others cause they are assholes. I am making conscious choices to just not bother with the bullshit. Which I guess is good I am not becoming a lawyer because that's exactly what you do. You jump knee deep into the pain, desperation and frustrations of other people. That's gotta be so exhausting. I just don't want to hear it. I don't want to get involved. I just want to do my best at this life thing and hope to create enough positive energy that it spreads around.

And spread indeed, my bouts of good luck have immediately followed my reaffirmation of positivity. It's just fuel to keep it up.


I'll take champagne instead.

And this link is from a friend's website that I recently noticed.
Hybrid Car Guide. They're gonna make hybrid SUVs and trucks. Isn't that neat?

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Shake it like a polariod picture, salt shaker, or a homeless person.


Belly Dancing is so much fun! I went to my first class last night and it rules. Boys would just love being able to watch one of these. It's a class of like 30 girls from Hoboken who are just there to learn something fun. And it's so cool. The teacher walks in, she wears tons of makeup and done up, blonde, permed hairsprayed hair, and she talks about how important it is to move and feel feminine. And she said this thing when we were learning hip movements- "move your hip with power, like here- my hip has something very special it wants to show you". And to make a long story shorter, I was basically in a room of girls shimmying and shaking all of their round stuff. You should've seen us all do "shoulder shimmies", but it's not at all your shoudlers that you really notice shimmying. It's boobies everywhere. Plus I get to have a belly dancing name- you pick any name of Turkish, Greek or Middle Eastern origin and it's yours. Hooray! And there's fun scarves and shiny things and outfits!

Speaking of outfits- I got my Kill Bill costume today and it RULES! My boss loves it too, he was all- try it on! So I got to spend part of my morning in my costume. And the tags say Kill Bill on them and the bags are from Kill Bill/Mirimax in Singapore. Cool! I am so wearing this jacket all over the place. It looks like real leather too. And it fits like a glove I tell you. A GLOVE.

More thoughts to come, gotta do some freakin work for now . . . by the way, when I say shake it like a homeless person, I mean like when you grab a homeless person and shake the living daylights out of them.
Here's a how-to-guide to the art of shaking the homeless:
1. Grab said homeless person by the arms.
TIP- Make sure it's a sad looking one. They are more open to new experiences and far more ripe for the shaking. You may also substitute sad looking for desperate and starving.
2. In a back forth motion, push back and forth with ferocity.
TIP- Try screaming for added effect.
3. Shake, shake, shake! And enjoy, your homeless person should be shaking quite well as of now.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

"It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything"

- Tyler Durden

It doesn't take much to have Tyler Durden on my mind.


Freedom is all about the ability to make choices, but sometimes we choose to limit our options. When you have certain things in your life, the presence of these things, even if we treasure them, can disable us from knowing ourselves in our purest, most individual of states.

And I've lost two big things at once recently, and I really quite truly feel freedom in the aftermath of the pain. I suppose mine didn't come in the form of lye on my hand, but it sure as hell felt like there was lye on my bitty little heart. If this law school thing didn't stop, I don't know if I would have ever felt free to do less than everything. I've always felt obligated to push forward through life like a madwoman trying to conquer the world. But now I feel the freedom to step back, play around, be lazy sometimes, and feel out what I really want to do. And that's kind of fortunate for me because I feel like I am laying the groundwork for establishing the kind of future where I do what I love.

And with boys, well I felt kind of imprisoned with my last relationship because while I was able to be myself with the ex, I was only able to be half of me. The other half- the freethinking, experimental, curious, adventurous and just plain silly me had no place to play. With him, all I was was the reserved, chillin, domestic me. I suppose many of my friends out there don't even know that side, but yeah, when I'm not out in public, just at home, the risk taker does not surface. I actually became inept at going out over time, cause I think it was difficult to turn off my domesticated mode when I was out with him. I went in early, was always bored when we went out, and I never got drunk right. Isn't that crazy? When I was with him, either I wasn't getting proper drunk, or I'd get sick all too easy. Alas I can take shots again and party hard and truly be in my 20s in NYC, and answer to no one- I got nobody tellin me what to do, no kids, and I got 99 problems but a Bitch Ain't One.

Monday, October 04, 2004

That which should suck, actually does not suck at all.

. . . but, it is a ripoff of Madonna's old vids
http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/spears_britney/audvid.jhtml
Britney Spears' new video and song "My Prerogative"

And the rest of the weekend was cool too. . .

Highlights include actually seeing Vincent Gallo in person, and topless chicken fighting/dancing (I wasn't the topless one BTW). And I got really drunk. Really really drunk. So did my lady friends. We basically all woke up in the morning with "Oh my god, what the hell was I thinking when I did (this and that) last night . . ." But it's a good thing. We had fun.

Rehearsal has been going well and I'm happy about that. I kind of thought I was being a bad girl coming to rehearsal all hungover, but it didn't really make things worse. So long as you shove some sort of sandwich or street vendor hotdog down the hatchet before you get to work, you are well on your way to recovery. And I am memorizing these lines. It's hard for me not to feel a lot of pressure being in this thing cause there's a lot of lines and my "costars" are all professional actors who have been doing this for a while now. But I definately felt better when the director said to me, "Heather, you've been working hard." Good. I actually wasn't quite sure if I was working hard enough.

Song of the Day (but don't forget to relisten to Jimmy Eat World and Rachael Yamagata, both yummy tracks):
Badly Drawn Boy "Year of the Rat"
http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/badly_drawn_boy/artist.jhtml
and download Denali's "Normal Days", Dios "The Uncertainty of how things are", Money Suzuki "Alive and Amplified" and most especially Archade Fire's "Rebellion" if you can find them.

I'm also so excited about Mt St Helens! I Love EXPLOSIONS!

And I watched "Runaway Jury" this weekend. The directing was so fucking awful. The camera work was fine, the cast was first rate, but the directing of everything including the actors was just such crap. The director was hokey and didn't make anything work as it could have. And for what the film was trying to be, it should have been a lot more realistic. It was just plain stupid.

And now for something completely different,

My tribute to the top 5 sexiest female movie characters/ones I'd like to be:
1.
Ok, so T2 is my most favorite movie ever, and I've always wanted to be Linda Hamilton's character. Not that I want to be chased by killer robots, but she's just so awesome. She gets to save the world and be really cool, and she knows her automatic weapons. T2 Sarah Connor is the most badass chick ever. And Linda did a pretty fine job at it. Why I remember in high school I bought me some grey sweatpants and wore em with a white wifebeater cause I thought it made me look like her in the beginning of the movie. Nuthin's hotter than that. . .

2.
UMA. In Kill Bill. Yeah, nuf said about her in this blog. Allz I gotta say is graveyard scene- BAAAAD AAAASSSSSS.

3.
Ripley. Bald, in space panties, reincarnated in Alien Resurrection- in all styles, Ripley is so awesome. As much as I enjoy wearing the occasional pink lacy thing from Victoria's Secret during sexy time, nothing beats the little white tank top/ panty outfit worn by Weaver in the first Alien- an image burned into the minds of countless boy dorks for about 3 decades now . . .

4.
Michelle Pfieffer's Catwoman- and she didn't have to have boobies flying all around like Halle Berry, and she was still the bomb. A wonderful Burton/Pfeiffer collaboration on this character. Meow.

And I can't quite decide who gets the number 5 spot.

There's ones that come to mind but can't make the list cause they just held back too much. Like Princess Leia. She's not "take no prisoners" enough for me. I know that the dudes dig her, but she had her damsel in distress moment with Jabba the Hut, and I can't help but hold it against her. Too many sexy female characters are objectified- like they'll have their cool moments, but then the filmmaker turns them into nothin but cute for a few scenes with no real substance behind them. Basically the character is there for the sole purpose of being attractive. Which is of course what I think a lot of men expect or want women to be all the time, and I resent it, so, um, anyway . . .

There's ones that make the sexy for being cool list who I would say are more cute than sexy, like Diane Keaton in Annie Hall, Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffanys, Audrey Tatou in Amelie, and Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation. There's ones that make the pure sex appeal list- Elizabeth Hurley, Salma Hayek, Kim Basinger. And one that stands out in other ways- Joan Allen in "The Contender". And I almost forgot- Kate Hepburn in all of her glorious pantsuits!

This chick knew how to roar . . .

And there's the ones that guys think are sexy but piss me off like Kirsten Dunst, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or Halle Berry, or ones that I am just plain jealous of cause I wanna be them, like Natalie Portman (yes, she dated Gael Garcia Bernal and got to be in Garden State, arg!).

And I was almost tempted to put Tyler Durden on my list. Not female, but goddamn what a sexy character. I want to both do and be Tyler Durden. Seriously.