Monday, October 25, 2004
It's all fucked up.
Ouch ouch. It's almost November and I still have a daily pain in my heart. Broken hearts hurt, physically. It's surprising. It's like in Something's Gotta Give, and Diane Keaton just cries and cries really loud for days and days over this guy who just came into her life for a really short time, but she fell in love with him, and he's all a jackass about it. And then Jack Nicholson thinks he's having another heart attack, but it's just heart ache and he doesn't recognize the feeling. And I am giving away this movie, but who cares, it doesn't ruin it, Diane Keaton gets with Keanu Reeves in the meantime, and that's the next step that makes sense to me as of late. Cause all I seem to care about lately is how good looking a guy is. Not that I don't respond favorably to dynamic personalities, I am just not interested in men in that way for right now. I mean I want quality friendships, I like meeting and spending time with new people, and I also want really really hot looking peices of ass. Like so hot that quite possibly they are unintelligent, cuz their hotness has seeped into their brains and there's no room for thought.
Models. I want models. I have made out with two models, and I really can't complain one bit. Both were memorable, great, and perfectly wonderful just for that day/night. But I must say the foreign one was better. So scratch that. I want international models. I deserve international models too. Cause I am a nice lady. And I make good dinners. I can even make a good tomato sauce and I'm not Italian. And I can give really good back massages. Oh yeah and I know how to belly dance now. It doesn't look like belly dancing. It looks a lot like Hellen Keller when she freaks out and is all like pissed off at her miracle worker. But still, that's kinda hot, right? And finally, I can also spit stuff like really far. I could spit a small round object something like 15 feet. That's not even true but I am trying to impress you so let's just pretend I am capable of such talents.
Bruce Campbell is not a male model but he's really sexy too. I like him cause of his Army of Darkness and Evil Dead, and I still really wanna see Bubba Ho-Tep. He's silly. And weird. See, I would go out with him. He's more than a pretty face.
I hate my apartment. I hate that I pay the same amount as other people with beautiful two bedroom apartments and plenty of room for both people, and I am stuck in this fucking cramped one bedroom with another person because my evil peice of shit boyfriend decided to cheat on me and dump me one week after I moved in. ONE FUCKING WEEK later! Ugh. That's just so beyond retarded. Why did it occur to him to do this just then, at that time? Peice of shit liar! He's such a liar telling me he knew all along he was gonna do it. Then why did he wait till I was already moved into our place! I almost always need to kick something when I see how nice my fellow Hobokeners places are who pay the same amount. ARggg!
How I feel on the inside when I think about it.
But then, things could be worse, and they are worse for others, blah blah blah.
The feeling of anger by now is just fleeting anyway. Like I get angry if I think about it, but I've got plenty of other stuff to flood my mind- exhibit A- this blog and all the random crap that ends up here.
Or- child abuse? You decide.