Monday, November 22, 2004

Artest Just Wanted Hugs 4 Real

FUCK I hate computers sometimes. I just lost the whole fucking post I just wrote, time to start from scratch.

I wrote about Jim Henson and how I saw "Commercials and Experiments" on Saturday and how awesome and kickass it was. It fucking blew my mind- it was all from before the Muppets really existed. And it was funnier and more "out there" than anything made right now. This one aspirin commercial was so freakin out there and amazing that everyone was freakin shocked after watching it. And he was the coolest. I couldn't find any pictures on the net of him back then, the one above he's a little older than what I saw, but perhaps you can get the idea. He was absolutely striking. He had this long face and mesmerizing blue eyes and he was so tall. It's kind of funny cause his hairstyle and beard are totally back "in" again. On old late night talk shows he came of with a gentle and funny charisma, and a genius presence like Andy Warhol.

By all means, the humor depicted in his old work would be considered modern and cutting edge today. For example, in a commercial he did, muppets exploded for not using the product being advertised. Perhaps it's just my penchant for things exploding, but it's at least braver than the bullshit on SNL today. (I personally attribute SNL for the declining quality of comedy being produced today, just as the Spears/Spice Girls phenom has paved the way for the intense suckiness of today's music- Lohan WTF?- that stuff should not even have been created- I've made more creative poops.) Oh great. Now I just realized with that combo of words people looking for Lohans' poop might come to my site. I've had some pretty interesting searches wind up here. I'm listed pretty high for people searching for David Hasselhoff in Spongebob, Michelle Trachtenburg's boobs, Kip Pardue people dated, naked Mischa Barton, and some other nonsense with gay people. Ah yes, I have the power to see what you searched for to get here. HA aha haha.

So back to business.
If there's one thing NBA players love, it's to give hugs. Big burly athletic hugs.
Here is a picture of Shaq hugging people, and his teammates hugging him in 2002:

Unfortunately a lot of fans are really kind of rude on account of Shaq being so poor and a lot of the fans with floor seats have a lot of money and are prejudiced against poor people. So a lot of time it's really their xenophobia against the poor getting in the way and they are disgusted and don't want to be touched by someone who is pitted so deep into poverty.

But that's really a widespread problem in the NBA. The fans in the floor seats eat their fancy sirlion hot dogs, while the NBA players sip on Gatorade that has been donated by the Gatorade people. It creates a lot of tension, and since being an NBA player is such a thankless job- they can get really tired and cranky after a lot of game play. And so they want to reach out to the fans they love, but there's all these social hangups and formalities in the way. Ugh, I just hate how people let their racism get in the way of love. And Artest is the most recent NBA player looking to cuddle- and he gets benched for the rest of the season! Unbelievable.

Somebody please give this snuggle bear the hugs he craves!

Finally, I had the talented Kate Shafer take some headshots for me. Next time around, I'll put some more effort into the hair and makeup, but anyhow, quite honestly, I can't see more than good or bad lighting when looking at a picture of my own face. So- since I am going to be using this one picture for the next few months, or at least until Kate returns from Paris, I'd like to know- which one do you think is best- and that would make people want to cast me? Eh? Let me know- here they are at my new and barely used flickr account:
Fink Face Action: warning- un-retouched
I even included 2 of the old headshots- so have I grown since 16?
Ugh.

And I have more stories, but I also have some bullshit to do here at work. I'll tell you about this moment when I thought I had died and gone to some subway car between hell and earth later.

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