Monday, November 15, 2004

fun things to do when you are home alone

]pee with bathroom door open
]sit in your roommates bed
]eat in your roommates bed
]sit naked in your roommates bed
]eat while sitting naked in your roommates bed
]chew your roommates pillows while sitting naked in her bed
]touch all of the things in her drawers
]put crackers in her shoes
]hide all of her toothpaste (also in her shoes)
]cook all of her food in one big pot all together melted
]look at her pictures with dirty hands from all the food you touched all melted together and get smudges all over the pictures
]have a laissez-faire attitude towards punctuation

and roommate, if you are reading this, and this serves as some kind of confession, you should thank me for the shoe warning. i could've just let you fall into that trap. i am truly sorry. i only do it for attention.

Moving on, I realized there is a certain specific profile to the kinds of guys I like, but I realize that I also do not know how to talk to these kinds of boys. And these kinds of boys also tend to like stupid all-american blond girls. Kind of like the vapid girl in the Jimmy Eat World "Pain" video. They want well-behaved, obediant, pretty nitwits. These are the movie characters I would most like to date:
1. Ron Livingston in Office Space - this one is the closest to what I like 4 real dude!

2. From TV- Seth Cohen, at his real age, not his fake tv age.

3. Jake Ryan in Sixteen Candles

4. Agent Sands in Once Upon a Time in Mexico
(before his eyes come out)

5. Jason Lee in Kissing a Fool (and as Brody)

6. Bodo in The Princess and the Warrior

7. Not a movie, but Nate in Six Feet Under

(the one on the right)
8. Bruce Wayne

In all his forms.
9. Agent Fox Mulder in X Files

And the characters that Colin Ferrell and Vince Vaughn make of themselves as celebrities. And also Justin Theroux in Six Feet Under, and Brad Pitt's character in Fight Club, Ocean movies, and Snatch- all kind of similar. I like them all dark and disturbed, and confident and funny, and boyish, whatever that means. And the good guy who doesn't follow the crowd, and who likes the poontang but isn't "all about" the poontang. Oh, and let me not forget,
10. The Jesus character in Passion of the Christ. SUUPER HOT!

Finally, I wanted to warn some of you about the dangers of the internet. Sometimes there's explosions up in here. And internet pornography.

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