Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Welcome to my poetry corner

Here's some poems I found that I wrote the first week of college:

So far from you
Forced to get on with it
move on with my life
and find comfort
and trust
in a land of strangers
when I always could find
those things in you
time to forget the way things
used to be
Tossed into a new world
forced to find what I already had.
(I do not know what the fuck I was talking about here)
I am just too
Now for some guys
there is no such thing
those guys
are fucking sick
It's mine
Juicy Steak
Violent exaggerations
soft skin
encasing fragile materials
anatomy enaging in violence
escaping spirituality
the soul is hiding
behind the
eating the whole
soft and warm
Washing it down
with an ice cold glass
of white soft milk
in a dark wet shadow
swallowed by my
swallowed by your body
bodies swallowing
taking what is obvious
be honest with yourself
the fool
the soul hiding
I know where my shit is at.

Ahh memories. My first love. We started dating the last week of high school and we had the whole summer before I started college and it was quite magical. We both decided we didn't know what it was going to be like so we decided to try seeing other people cause we didn't want to mess with "The Freshman Experience". Our understanding was really a pretty cool one. We both had our taste of the many fish in the sea, which really helped us feel good about each other. Now we were on and off a lot- always on when we had summers together, and on later when he transferred to school in DC. The first summer after freshman year we backpacked across Europe together for a month. To this day the highlight of my life was when we rented a moped and went across the coast of the French Riviera, stopping in the small towns across the way from Nice to Monte Carlo. And when we got to Monte Carlo we made like we were "hugging' in the ocean but we most certainly were not hugging. The Japanese tourists made note of this.

Why is it that I have the most amazing memories in the world with my first love, but my second makes me want to slit my wrists being without him? The second didn't do much of anything fun or cool with me. And I imagine he never would. But I know part of the answer is that the second one just made me feel worthless by leaving me for some fucking southern hick fetus.

Yesterday I came up with a very firm conclusion about men. Any man I date must be really hot. This is because even the nicest of men with the greatest of personalities are still men, and all men are capable of screwing us over, and not treating us right, and lying. So. In conclusion he must at least be hot. So then at least I'll walk away having had a nice cut of meat. Don't hate me for it, hate your stupid polluted Y chromosome.

I am spending this morning rocking out to Serge Gainsbourg and eating a chocolate croissant and viewing some French people's commercials (cause sometimes I actually do work here). Viva la France.

I just discovered that on you can watch, in full, Faith No More's video, "Epic", which I think is one of the best videos and best songs ever. Keep in mind it is from the early 90's. It's like Terminator or Predator for me. I was but a little girl when I first saw them, with poor taste, and meager tools for deciphering what was and wasn't cool- but somehow I knew these things were very cool, and loved them dearly. And I love Mike Patton today, he is sexy and talented. Dear Mike Patton: I am a cool girl and people like me, well I am not sure of that, but I like me, well actually a lot of times that isn't true and I wish that I was taller and more graceful among other things. Have a drink with me.

He recently put his talents on Handsome Boy Modeling School's new album. It looks good.

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