Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I love me a nice bowl of celebrity.

My behavior when I am alone is atrocious. A man who does business with my work just dropped by and left the office with a big tray of holiday cookies. They looked fabulous and colorful and smelled yummy. After the man left and it was just me and the cookies, I sort of flapped/waved my hands about excitedly and bit my lip while a big smile developed on my face. I realized I was doing this over cookies. I should really be penalized for this. So I am not gonna let myself have one of those cookies till I learn how to play it cool and calm the hell down/chill the fuck out and stop acting like a goddamn sissy. Oh how I wish that Jesse Ventura's character from Predator was here to tell me that and get me in shape. Oh I love that character- here's the best quote from that movie delivered by mister Ventura himself:
Blain: "Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me."

Moving onward, inspired by Arif, I am gonna share a brief recap of my celebrity encounters thusfar. But let me preface it by saying that I really like meeting celebrities and having interludes with them because celebrities are basically the accomplished people in this world who make the most impact- at least the people that make the most impact tend to be famous- not that I think AT ALL that all celebrities are important in the least bit. Plus they tend to be interesting and talented. It's kind of like in Forrest Gump- these interactions with people who shape history. And to meet people who inspire you- it's all good stuff.
So here's the list:
Ed Harris- took picture with
Janet Reno- asked question and took picture with on diff occasions
Senator Kennedy- interned for, took picture with
Al Gore- shook hands a lot, campaigned for
Bill Bradley- shook hands, took picture, chatted
Jake Gyllenhaal- made fun of him, took picture
Famke Jansson- said wassup to
Vincent Gallo- emailed, bumped into
Bill Murray- asked question, told me I had nice boobs
Spike Lee- asked question
Martin Scorcese- asked question
Kenneth Lonergan- shook hands, gave a wassup to
John Cleese- asked question
Nancy Pelosi- shook hands, chatted with
Edward Norton- He moved a chair out of the way for me so that I could get by at a bar
Bill and Hillary Clinton- shared a plane ride with, chatted with both and shook hands, got autograph and well wishes from Bill
Barbara Walters- bumped into, gave a wassup to, she wasn't very friendly
Derrek Jeter- When I was in high school, I had no idea who he was, but he said hi to me. I just thought he was some friendly man and said hi and walked past. My friends (boys) saw from afar and freaked out (do you know who that was?).
Howard Dean- shook hands
Donald Trump- took picture with
Sandra Day O'Connor- took picture with
Senator McCain- Shared little train under the capitol with
George Stephanopolous- physically bumped into once, bumped into again at a Cosi
Bob Dole- asked question
Tori Amos- shook hands
Rufus Wainwright- chatted with
Cong. Gephardt- asked question
Colin Powell- asked question, shook hands
the following MTV VJs: Gideon Yago (chatted with), John Norris (chatted with), and Carson Daily (shook hands)
Those dudes from Crossfire
Plus various encounters with a bunch of commedians from SNL, Conan O Brian, The State, Stella, Daily Show, Reno 911 and UCB, Sarah Silverman, Janeane Garafolo, Jon Stewart, Ben Stiller, etc.
I guess I've seen others, but I wouldn't count my encounters with them to be significant enough, plus I don't know how famous they are.
I think that's it for now.
I think all of these encounters took place in DC and NYC.

I'd say my most favorite encounter was with Bill and Hillary Clinton. And when I told Jake Gyllenhaal to stop acting like a little bitch cause he was acting like a little bitch. Actually Edward Norton goes up there too cause he gave me the sexiest little smile when he moved that chair out of my way. How polite. I was rendered speechless and just walked on by. Is this boring? I dunno. Arif thought it was interesting stuff. So blame him if you don't like it.

The poem that was here, she's gone. I suppose she doesn't fit in.
But I am really fucking so pissed off that it's December and I really haven't come very far in getting over that dude. It's driving me nuts.

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