Monday, December 13, 2004

I'm a kitty

This morning I noticed a strange amount of people smiling at me and looking at me kinda funny. One man on his bike even giggled as he made eye contact. Perhaps it is my particularly charming furry neck scarf. Or perhaps it is the fact that I have a fixed look of terror on my face and I look like I am totally buggin out. Screw the Kafka cockroach, I've turned into a paranoid little kitty ever since yesterday at approximately 4pm. Let me explain:

So I had originally planned to go to Williamsburg Sunday to a commercial shoot which my place of employment is doing some production work on. But I didn't. Nobody was home and I did my favorite Sunday activity- shamelessly doing nothing- tv, internet, effortless snacking with no real cooking, sitting on my ass, and hell no I hadn't bothered to shower or brush them teeths. At about 4pm I hear a weird knock on the door, but houses are close together in Hoboken, so I figure maybe it's the neighbors, I'm not expecting anyone- and if it was important they could ring the doorbell or call my cell. But it was a weird knock anyway. A poundy-knock. I don't look out the window cause I don't want whoever is out there to see me not answering the door. A minute or so later, I hear pounding.

Oh and about my place, I live in a 3 floor brownstone in Hoboken, there's a basement which nobody lives in and we share with the 2nd floor. On the 1st and 2nd floors are separate apartments.

So I peek out the window, I don't see anybody. Nobody is by the front door. But I can't see the basement door from the window, and a bike is leaning up against the little fence and it's not locked up so whoever it is might be leaving in a hurry. And so I hear the weird and scary pounding. Of course I am thinking -who is that-what the hell is that- what are they doing. I call the landlord, it's not him. I peek out my front door into the hallway. I look downstairs to the basement and the thumping is coming from in there. Ack I am scared. I consider going to check it out. Perhaps if I bring my pepper spray it would be ok. But in the vain of rock paper scissors, potential gun beats out pepper spray hands down. I call the cops- but you know- I was still wondering if I should, maybe I was hearing things, maybe it's the girl from upstairs doing something weird. So I call them. I am peering out the window like a freaked out cat, with my digital camera in hand so I could take a picture of any potential bad guy if I had to. Camera dies on me. Gulp.

Cops arrive pretty quickly, all I can see is them run up to the basement and drag out a big scary man! Ack! I'm not going out there! I am glued to my window . . . what if there's more! There weren't. There was this large man and I didn't see his face but man he was not a gentle looking lad in the least. It's awfully surprising to see such a thing pulled out of your house. Oh and that thumping was so scary I have to say. Like in the movies where you can hear the bad guy coming for you. That's what it seemed like. I have no idea what's on the other side of the door, just that it seems like it's bad and it's coming to get me.

But I was so happy when those cops were there, I felt like I won the lottery. They got him! I was safe, my stuff was fine, all he busted was the window and the door in the basement. I thought it turned out really well for what could've turned out badly. Nothing bad happened to me at all, so I thought that sleeping last night would be easier.

It wasn't. Nothing bad happened to me but that guy really scared the crap out of me! And I lie in bed last night all jittery and then the thoughts come on, what if I went down there. What if he hit me with that big crowbar, he only had a bike to escape, so how much could he take with him, maybe he was coming for us girls . . . oh my god, what if he has been watching us and scoping out the place. . . what if he knows stuff about us . . . maybe that's why he targeted us, a house full of girls . . . maybe he was there to get us . . . what if someone is watching in my house right now, one of this guy's friends . . . what if they are mad at us for calling the cops and busting him . . . my stomach hurts . . .

Yeah I only got about 2 hours of sleep last night. I have turned into a kitty. Right as it happened I was glued to the window sill, peeking out like a scared and frantic little thing, my eyes wide open. I didn't know what to do after the cops left and the landlord didn't get there yet. I was just kind of buzzing about the room like a cat scurrying away from whatever they scurry from. This morning I have the demeanor of a cat when you wave a feather in front of its face, how the kitty kind of jilts its head about with watchful eyes. And weird enough, in order for me to gain those two hours of sleep, I asked myself what would make me feel better. The answer was to have my ex there (he's a big guy too) sort of just next to me, tucking me into my blankets, petting me. Well not petting me like a kitty, but doing that sort of hand stroking your hair, calming and soothing you to sleep, whispering that everything is gonna be ok. So I took a big pillow and put it next to me like he was there and let my imagination take me to sleep. And it worked. For a few hours. Soon after the clock was laughing at me every time I looked at it- like - you think you're gonna go back to sleep- dream on. Oh wait you cant dream on cause you can't sleep. Booyah. Stupid clock.

Ugh so I am a stupid wussy girl right now and all I want is a man to take care of me at this point in time. But it's only cause you guys are bad and do bad stuff to scare the crap out of us women. Otherwise I can open jars and build stuff so don't get the wrong idea here. I think I just need a good nights sleep to shake it off. Here's hoping for better luck tonight. Oh yeah, and my really nice landlord owns a steakhouse in Jersey City and he treated me to dinner there and it was such an amazing meal. All the dishes there are about 30 bucks plus and I got to have whatever I wanted! Meat's the best! I got me a big ol juicy steak and oysters and wine and cappuccino and other stuff. He encouraged it. So that was a nice fringe benefit of the whole thing. Oh and one final mentionable of the weekend, I had a lot of fun Saturday night at the Onion Holiday party and Todd Barry and Stella were reliably great (ps- Stella will probably have this year's holiday show in January) and then stopped at what appeared to be Ed Helms' Holiday party where there were really yummy whoresderves (ha! whorsederves, I am 2 much!) but unfortunately they needed some reheating. Time to stop talking. Must find yarn and hit at it with my paws.

Let me go you crazy bitch!

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