Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Celebrity Tuesday

So yesterday I read this:
Colin Farrell's interview in GQ about kissing dudes in movies
Where Colin said this:
"When you feel his stubble against your lip, it's repulsive to me, as repulsive to me as for a lot of gay men the idea of putting their tongue near a pussy is—something that, for me, is akin to heaven sometimes."
Which is precisely why I love this man. Something that I so enjoy and hold near and dear to me in leisurely activities is this man's idea of heaven. Now Natalie Portman is rumored to be in a G string in "Closer", which critics have predicted to become an image welded in the minds of men for ages to come. Well Mr. Farrell stole the brain cells right out of my head with his quote right there. Oh his brazen way with words. I fancy myself to take his form if I was male. I wish anyway. New rumors say he's banging Lindsay Lohan. I mean, she sucks, but she's not bad looking. Plus I think that's kind of funny. From his perspective anyway. If he married her or seriously dated her I would think he was a loser. But what do I know anyway, right? I don't really know these people.

Anyhow.

Back to the matter at hand.
Some girls don't like him cause they think he's dirty. But to me he's perfectly dirty. The right amount of foul mouth- used appropriately for humor purposes. And those tattoos are glorious. Oh, and that armband. Oh, and that hair and those stupid hats. And that facial hair. And that body. It's perfect because it's not like Brad Pitts- which is really perfect. Brad Pitt's body is like Michelangelo's David- it looks chiselled by God, and if I had it in front of me, well, I would like it, but I don't know if it would feel like a real guy like the guys I know. I like Colin Farrell cause he doesn't have a perfect body. In shape, sure, but not surreal like Pitt. Let me demonstrate:

This is my favorite picture of Brad Pitt. Anyhow. Notice that everything (I'm talking muscles here) is in perfect proportion and size. Almost plastic.

Dammit. The website that has the Colin pictures I like won't let me right click to get the link. Or it's my computer being stupid. Anyways- look here:
Colin Farrell There's this one picture with his head cocked back, and well, ladies, I dunno about you, but I really like that one.
See, he looks like some of the specimens I have actually sampled before. And that's cool with me.

Anyhow. That's my pointless celeb crush explained. And it's some real bullshit cause it's totally pointless. With real crushes I have the liberty to pursue. Man when a guy really sparks my interest- and I mean more than I just like him- when I develop a full blown crush- which has only happened to me like 3 times in my life- I swear I'd tear into those mofos with my bare teeth. Somebody told me I don't have enough self control and I let my passions take over. They're kind of right. Somebody else also told me yesterday that they saw the Aviator and that I am like Howard Hughes. I don't think they are right about that. I only peed in a jar, kept the bottles and lined them up this one time.


Scarlett Johansson's nice quote: "If you're comfortable with yourself, then it's sexy. Maybe people think I look sexy because I fell sexy. I am a very liberated person that way. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, my body, my face - well, sometimes I'm not comfortable with my face, but it's stuck there and there's nothing I can do about it." Johansson admits her favorite feature is her breasts: "I'm proud of my girls. They're my charms, my feminine wiles."

Finally, some relevant Song Lyrics:
Laryn Hill "I Used to Love Him"
As I look at what I’ve done
The type of life that I’ve lived
How many things I pray the father will forgive
One situation involved a young man
He was the ocean and I was the sand
He stole my heart like a thief in the night
Dulled my senses blurred my sight

I used to love him but now I don’t
I used to love him but now I don’t

I chose a road of passion and pain
Sacrificed too much and waited in vain
Gave up my power ceased being queen
Addicted to love like the drug of a fiend

Torn and confused wasted and used
Reached the crossroad which path would I choose
Stuck and frustrated I waited, debated
For something to happen that just wasn’t fated
Thought what I wanted was something I needed
When momma said no I just should have heeded
Misled I bled till the poison was gone
And out of the darkness arrived the sweet dawn

I used to love him but now I don’t
I used to love him but now I don’t

Father you saved me and showed me that life
Was much more than being some foolish man’s wife
Showed me that love was respect and devotion
Greater than planets deeper than oceans
My soul was weary but now it’s replenished
Content because that part of my life is finished

I see him sometimes and the look in his eye
Is one of a man who’s lost treasures untold
But my heart is gold I took back my soul
And totally let my creator control
The life which was his to begin with

I used to love him but now I don’t

FIN.

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