Monday, January 10, 2005

Stock up on Hole Reinforcements. It's Back to School Time!


Friday was Goofus and Saturday was Gallant, yo.
The boys on Friday night pissed me off so bad that it was the first time in weeks that some sad thoughts arose from being single. I got so irritated by the boys at the bar that I was inspired to make a new set of rules for those creatures:
1- Don't grab at me.
2- Don't put your filthy paws on my waist.
3- Don't pull at me.
4- If I do decide to dance with you, don't grope me.
5- When I say "Hey, stop grabbing me", that's my coy little way of saying "Stop grabbing me."
6- When I see you and ask you "Did you just follow me to the bathroom?" You say "No", because you in fact were not following me to the bathroom.
7- After I say "Stop following me", stay put as I walk away.
8- If you put your grubby mits on me, and I rip my arm away as though I had been touched by feces, do not proceed to reach for me once again.


But Saturday was super-fantastic!- Just like these Mega Smash Hits!
I had my first new comedy writing class on Saturday. And I love it! I was worried that it might suck, but it doesn't just not suck, it's great! During the class my mind started sparking all these ideas just like I used to. By the end of the class I felt so inspired and ready to start writing all kinds of skecthes- something that was completely interrupted by the events of last year. And the students are all really funny and have a lot to contribute- which is really important to me when taking a class like that (or any performance art class) because you can learn from them, and everything gets done at a higher level of quality. And the teacher is super awesome. If you were a fan of "The State" as I am, the teacher is the Red Haired man, Kevin Allison- and he's a great teacher, at least so far. And we get to watch all these great sketches and go over them- so we get to watch State skecthes in class, Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show, and I think Monty Python too, and discuss them. How great is that! During the week we get to take home sketch comedy dvds too. And we have to write 2 sketches every week- which I think is really great for me to be doing. Anyhow, there was lots of laughter and I really enjoyed being there. PS- keep your calendars open cause we will have a show March 12 in the NYC baby.

And then I had an unexpected GW reunion at some bar Saturday night and saw one especially beloved old friend amongst other faces I hadn't seen in forever- all a bunch of Colonials pimpin the NYC.

And my roommate is back! Which I like cause I was getting all antsy alone in my apartment. Speaking of whom, we were actually mistaken for sisters by a waiter on Sunday, and that's especially silly cause it wasn't even the first time that has happened. And it's silly, cause, well, we don't look alike.


I love these they are so USEFUL!

Oh and one other benefit of my denouncement of bad feelings towards my breakup- I have fabulous hair today! That's right- my hair is soft and shiny and smells like strawberries! And do you know why? It's cause my ex used to have the best shampoo and he would buy it in large sized bottles, and I loved that shampoo, and I had it shoved away back in a cabinet cause I wasn't prepared to be reminded of him whilst alone in the shower- but now that I don't love him like that anymore- I can use it all I want!! High Fives! And in related news, I was thinking I could never get back together with him either cause too many of my friends have little sisters and I think that would be a real liablity all things considered, ya know? And I kind of mean that seriously. I would always be paranoid that this creepy fucker would get all Kevin Spacey in American Beauty on me some day and that would be an entirely unpleasant and unwelcome element in the relationship. So what I am saying is that it could never work anyway.

And while at Target on Sunday, I got a super cool new bikini (gotta stock up for Thailand, right?) that looks like something I think a 70s Charlie's angel would wear. BTW, they have the coolest men's clothes at target right now. And these awesome zipper jackets that are like puma jackets with little lions on them. And the lions are like the lions of the Dutch flag. Kinda like these:


And finally I am going to end this with some bitching.
I find it really annoying when people start saying that they are "private", or opt out of a debate because they "don't talk about that kind of thing". Did you ever notice that when people either don't discuss politics, or are "private", that they talk about it like they are so much better than you for it- and that you are somehow less of a person for not being like them? Well I have. And fuck being all private. If everyone was all private there would be no art, or good art at least. Anything really worthwhile tends to reveal something personal about the artist whether you as an audience realizes that or not. Just think about memorable song lyrics- you love them because you can relate to them. And they are talking about something you don't ordinarily articulate. Oh, and people who opt out of debates or arguments who act all superior because of it- that's great- but maybe you just don't have anything worthwhile to say. Or maybe the other people debating enjoy their debate. So shutup and let them you pompous dickis. PS- it's cool by me if you are "private" and a non-debater- just don't say it like you are so freakin superior for it cause you're not.

Time to go write write write. Thank goodness I kept up this here blog cause it has kept my writer muscles toned (they're located under your butt).
Butts!

Butts!
Butts.
Butts!

New Jimmy Eat World video!!

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