Friday, March 25, 2005

Good deed costs teacher his life.

Teacher Killed in Brawl.

After I was on the net last night I took some time to let out a good cry. And that was really important for me to do. I felt guilty at first like I shouldn't be so sad because for other people this is much harder, but then I realized that it's ok and that it's ok for me to be so upset. I really hate that I can't be with my friends, but it's good to know they are with each other. My mom said that she went to the funeral with our other friend's mom too. Ah I have so many different thoughts. After I cried last night I joined the party and observed from up high and stayed there until about 6 am. It was just as enjoyable to watch as when I was participating earlier. I came back by speedboat around 6:30 am invited by warm waters and soft sands and a much desired bed. Maria and I are at the travel agent buying our tickets back to Bangkok right now and I want to either go on a raft up the River Kwai when we get there and visit the 3 pagodas pass or visit the ancient Ayutthaya. And then we are going to go to Koh Chang which is an island on the Eastern Seaboard where it's supposedly barely inhabited with dense jungle and elephants and stuff like that.

I've seen a lot of great things which I am not really thinking about right now. The fruits I eat every day taste like heaven. The water is so warm and gentle and the air is hot. We are staying in bamoo bungalows with a hammock in front. Blah blah blah I got some awesome awesome pictures so I think my story will be better then. I had no intention of being on the internet this much but with everything that has happened at home I really want to stay connected. That and the fact that there's freakin internet everywhere.

Ok, well after today I will be in much more remote areas- so I hope all is well.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

I hope you are in peace Scott

Ok- so I am not much of a "raver" I am actually at the full moon party right now and it's very fucking awesome and amazing but it's 4 am and my friend is spending some time with a boy, and I have not found any boys that don't make me cringe, so I prefer this 24 hr internet place right in the center of it all while I wait for my friend. Well, that and also that I cannot take my mind off of Scott. I mean I am able to zone out in the Zen of this beautiful place and everything, but at the same time I just think so much of Scott and my friends. I just hear his laugh and see his face. Vivid memories come to me. It was only months ago we were in Dave's hot tub and he was laughing and drunk out of his mind, being silly and friendly with his big earnest smile. I was able to speak to Kim over the phone and she made me feel much better. But I hate not being there to hug everyone- I wish I could reach through the air and hug everyone big and tight. I am pretty drunk right now but I think I am making sense. Yes THailand is soo so awesome and more beautiful than anything. But Scott was beautiful too. I can't do anythiung about it, none of us can. I just hope he is at peace righ tnow.. I don't know where he is but I am so sad for Lisa, and Chris too and his family. This will rip a big hole in all of us.

Ok, i just zoned out and stuff. I want to have fun and enjoy this place in spite of it all and I think I can do that. I know it sounds so cheesy and stupid to say but i am sure that if scott was here he would be laughing and saying to have fun. I think it is ok to try and have fun anyway. There is nothing i can do to change what happened and it's going to be ok. What i am feeling is not nearly as painful as what chris and lisa and his family must be feeling. But even still, anyone who had him in their life can look and him and sincerely say what a sweet person Scott was. I am not saying only good because he is gone. Honestly he was this good.

Ugh. I will go check if my friend is done with her kisses. The guy is cute so i know she is having fun.
I decided to take a break from the hot sun and go online for a little bit and write about how hapy I am and all the great things we have been doing but then I got some news via email that Scott Winfield has passed away. I can’t believe this I am sure as no one else can. My heart goes out to his friends and family, Scott truly was a wonderful person. He was one of those good nice guys. Trustworthy, warm, sweet and so friendly. He was a very good friend to those who were close to him and so respectful and kind to everyone. He was so tall with bright blue eyes and bright blond hair. He always had a calm smile and he was known for bright red cheeks. When I think of him of course I think of him and Ricciardi, my friend who just got back from Japan. I know that this happened because he got involved in some kind of fight down at Rutgers that my friend Dave had tried to break up and that Kim and Matt and Chris were there but that’s all I really know. If any of you are reading this, I know this must be so hard for you. My heart goes out to you, I wish I was there to give you all big big hugs. I wish I was there to go to the funeral and give my love and support to his friends and family. My best memories of Scott would have to be the summer after senior year. Randomly Me and Scott and Chris/Ricciardi spent an entire 2 week period hanging out every single day just laughing and enjoying the beginning of summer. I have a little keyhole photo from one of the funnest times I ever had at Great Adventure. And at this time I was sort of just talking to my first boyfriend Justin and we hadn’t started anything real yet. And I was thinking about dating Scott. One night we kissed and he was so sweet and I thought to myself what a good guy he was, but I was sort of choosing btwn Justin and Scott and it seemed that Justin and I had already gotten more involved so I started going out with Justin. But I think we would always remember that time, and always had a kindness and sweetness towards each other from then on. We hadn’t talked much in the past few years, but saw each other on summers sometimes. When I saw him after the whole Brian thing he was very sweet and supportive too. He was just good. That’s it.

How do I change topic?

Well I guess I will just say that I am in a tropical paradise right now and that like Arif mentioned, this is no 3rd world country. The people are so happy and wonderful, and the buddist element of their culture is reflected in their attitude and kindness. The children are so nice and so friendly. There are barely any Americans here, instead there are a lot of English and German people everywhere. So far we have been to Chaweng beach on Koh Samui which we found to be overdeveloped and too touristy, but still interesting and fun. Now we are at Koh Phagnan and we will be going to the full moon party. We are staying at a secluded beach where there's a lot of locals and return visitors and we are in a great little bamboo bungalow. It's breathtakingly beautiful and I feel so greatful to have this experience. I have had a thai massage on the beach and it is very easy to be pampered here. It's very clean and there's internet everywhere, though I have been trying to avoid it. We have met some interesting people and heard some interesting stories which I can elaborate on later when I am in the office again. We really loved bangkok, which has great temples/Wats and the shopping and street vendors are really cool too. The bars there have a lot of character and personality as well. We also really liked the overnight train we too to the islands. There was an air conditioned car and the train people made our beds and brought us food and all of that. There's orchids and cool birds and stuff like that too. Eh, I don't really feel like writing about this now.

I wish for comfort and peace for Scott and his friends and family right now. All of my love to you.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Heh heh, bangcock . . .

What's up dudes. I'm am all up in the Bangkok right now. It's sunny and beautiful and tropical and I am on the internet in the hotel waiting to check out. We are going to take an overnight train to the Island of Koh Samui in the Gulf of Thailand tonight.

Right now we are at Thai Cozy House and I think we want to go to one of these places when we get to Koh Samui.

So far the most amusing/irritating thing to happen was on the flight to BKK from Tokyo where this mother f'er was sleeping in the aisle seat and even when we tapped him on the shoulder, he didn't wake up so we were all trapped and had to pee and I was all scared to try to step over him cause my legs weren't tall enough and I would end up straddling him if I tried to step over him. But that's what I did, and I did it as quickly as possible. But there were moments when me and Maria feared we would be trapped and having to pee for the entirety of the flight.

Anyhow, we got here at 11pm and it's morning so we have yet to have any real adventures. . . yet . . .

Friday, March 18, 2005

See you in April.

Ok, so today has been busier than any other day I've had in a while, but it's almost over, and I need to make time enough to say a lil somthing before I leave you with nothing for two weeks.

It's a beautiful day. I know by the time I come back my New York will begin its springtime. I'm a little nervous of the unknown that lies ahead. Never been to Asia, never been on a flight this long, never been to a third world country before, they say another tsunami/earthquake is imminent (but I am not going to any Thai locations that border the Indian Ocean, where the impact is felt.) But whatever. They say when traveling to Thailand your best bet is to not make any plans and make them when you get there- to figure out what's the best place to be when you are there and make arrangements locally. So, aside from knowing which cities we want to visit and having our first two nights hotel booked in Bangkok, we have no plans. I am so happy not only to be going there, but to be going with Maria. She's one of the best people I know and one of those people that I can spend long durations of time with without getting irritable, and I trust her. We're both pretty street smart and experienced in travelling, which I think is a must for ladies like us. And nope, even though we are going to the Full Moon Party, we are not going to do any drugs over there.

I keep reflecting for different reasons. When I get drunk and the ex gets brought up as "oh that's the guy who dumped me over the phone and cheated on me with a high schooler one week after we moved in together and told me it was my fault he lied to me about it and told me that it was because he didn't love me and not because he was cheating" I often leave out the phrase about how he did it "one week after I got kicked out of law school and my life's ambition had been crushed and I had no idea what I was doing with my life". I just can't believe what changes in a matter of months. I find it kind of exciting to think about what happened, just because it's so far from painful now. And because of this cool thing called a blog, my little journey is all here for you to either enjoy or riducule, it's up to you.

I would've changed my final NCAA pick of Oklahoma, but we had a power outage when I was trying to do it and I couldn't turn the damned computer on. In the event that Oklahoma wins it all, that would be cool. I can't remember why I chose that in the first place. Oh well.

Well, this trip is going to amplify my current "free single and all grown up" phase of life that I'm embracing right now. And when I come back, I'm gonna show you people a whole lot of pictures.

So I won't be writing for two weeks, unless of course I am compelled to in some internet cafe, which I see as a likely thing to happen. I am an internet addict. I don't know if I could go the whole entire time without it.

I am happy with my job and my life and the idea of having a relationship is the least important thing to be right now. And I think that's a sign of being a whole person again. Thank god for that.

Alright. It's all yours. Say weird shit in my comments, mean stuff, and I won't be around to erase it for days. Hope nobody says anything about my affair with Nelson Mandela back in the 90s. Oh dear me, I just did! Duh.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Things you should know

I respect the infinate wisdom of Demi Moore.

Sometimes, when potatoes wear bikinis, my head hurts.

Puberty girl is the coolest girl.

Once I did this with my computer, and it was the best time I had ever had.

Also, today we had no power at work. And then I got me a big ol headache. I am going to have to take a nap before I drink like a crazy drinker tonight. But I will also have to be totally packed too. THAILAND THAILAND I AM GONNA FINK YOU UP. Why did I choose Oklahoma to win the whole NCAA tourney? I don't know. It doesn't seem like a smart team to pick, but it just gave me a feeling.

There's lots of freebies from this last shoot. Free pillows and other stuff, including free lotion! Lotion, much like food, is also better when it's free. Thumbs up.

I am getting nervous about leaving for Thailand now, not because I am going to Thailand, but because I am worried about getting things done and taken care of before I leave. It's awfully hard to leave somewhere for two weeks and cut off all normal communications.

I better have fun tonight.

Sorry I don't have too much good to say. Most of what's on my mind isn't repeatable here. It's a fact!

Lastly, a friend of mine is going through an awful breakup, so I went to look back at some old stuff I wrote to see if any of it helps- to show that it's ok to feel that horrible and to feel that much pain, and that for as miserable as I was, I am totally happy now, and over him. That yes it's possible for it to pass even when you think it won't. And I came across this. Change is real. Time is fascinating.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Sorry GW.

I'm sorry GW, if you watched the Daily Show yesterday, Jon Stewart opened the show "I know one team that is not going to make the final four, and that's George Washington." That was my fault cause he asked who people think will make the final four and I went "GW!". So I am sorry that I subjected GW to being the butt of a joke on national television. Surely Winthrop is a bigger joke than my precious lil Colonials. They will fight you with disease and rape and pillage your native lands! They're Colonials wooha!


Monday, March 14, 2005

This is the Blog of a Happy Lady

When I woke up Sunday I started thinking a negative thought about how I wish this one thing wasn't the way it was. And I realized that was stupid. I stopped it immediately. What kind of major dickhead to I have to be to not be happy right now? I would have to be President Dickhead of Russia. Man that Russia sure is a big country. One time I had fresh salmon caviar from Russia when my Dad brought it back from a business trip and it was one of the best things I ever had in my mouth. Besides Denzel Washington's thingy. True story!

Moving on, I am happy. I know I've been saying it, but I really really am and it's surprising. In spite of all my preconceived notions about who I wanted to be and what it takes to make a person happy- not coming to fruition quite as I imagined, I am letting my new life seep into me and I'm absorbing it well. We were wrong, me and my mom, about what it means to be satisfied in life. I am more satisfied than ever. Kind of like when I started Freshman year of college. I don't think I could've wanted any more. And I am here without having followed a map. No paycheck or fancy job or fancy boyfriend is filling me up. It's all these unexpected developments that I am riding to shore.

The show Saturday night went well. (See flickr pics!) It felt great to be on stage again- and this time it was with one of my idols! I mean really MTV's The State is the one group I can pinpoint as my inspiration for wanting to write comedy. And I got to perform with one of these very talented people. Someone I look up to actually read lines that I wrote- that's f'ing neat! It was well received and a pleasure to put on for a good audience. My sketches came across as I wanted them to come across and people got the jokes. Another sketch comedy duo has asked me to direct them as well. I am going to direct 2 sketch comedy groups next month! Cool- I really enjoy the diversity of the projects I am getting involved in. I love this stuff. And I feel really energized for the summer show I plan to put on. Really ready to go. The class was just the thing. And god, now that this show is out of the way, what's next- THAILAND!!! I can't believe that next Monday I will be in freakin Asia. And it's gonna be hot. Finally, I am so happy with my independence and with my relations with boys. They are good and brief and roomier than an Escalade. Oh yeah and I am on terms that I can accept with my ex- meaning- Amicable so long as the fetuswhore isn't discussed. I'm most especially happy that I just don't get upset over him anymore. And dropping off that luggage is more satisfying than dropping the kids off at the pool after a large meal. And that's an understatement.

My Sunday Plans:
Morning: Meet with director who is interested in discussing the biz with me. Or other things probably. But either way I am interested in what he can tell me about the biz.
Afternoon-Evening: Plans with a boy.
Late Night: Meet up with friend who I haven't seen in a long time and friend who just got back from Paris and crash at their place.

My Actual Sunday:
Morning: 7 am, sun blaring in my eyes, mosey on down a cold Broadway while the street vendors set up to sell their cell phone accessories. Get on PATH and employ Jedi mind tricks to fight the urge to vomit.
Afternoon: Win the battle vs the vomity urges and manage to get away with a simple bout of gassiness. Engage in prudential recap of prior evening with flatmate (Dude Heather you aren't British why you frontin'). Allow cell phone to ring, return phone calls with moany "aw man, I don't think I can make it out of Hoboken" vow to keep Late night plans with friends. Sleep till 6pm with intentions to start packing.
Evening: Eat lots of pizza and watch the Contender. Refuse to watch Kelsey's new bullshit show. Maybe it's good. Yeah right. Next In Living Color it taint. Friends and I agree that we aren't moving anywhere.
Late Night: Attempt to pack for Thailand but instead get sidetracked by trying on bikinis and giving up after successfully locating two tank tops. That should be good. Start to pick final four brackets. Feel very sad that I am not picking GW to beat Georgia Tech. That would be the coolest upset. But I know my Colonials stand no chance against that red headed guy. Mull over whether to call my fantasysports name UncrustablesPartDeux as a Hot Shots Part Deux reference, or UncrustablesPart2FirstBlood as a Rambo reference. Chose Rambo. Rambo is more power-ferocious than Charlie Sheen. And his plastic surgery really looks pretty nice on the Contender. Those boxers have such high fuckability. Mmmm I like Contenders.

Just in case you were hungry Mr. Rambo I have a yummy sandwich for you.

PS- Law students- if I told you I was gonna put your pic on the blog and didnt- some of them didn't come out to flatteringly- you don't want a bad picture up, do you? No I didn't think so. This is a shout out to SHU Law students. Hello there. Enjoy the caselaw.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Are you Ready?

I mean, I think I am. I am so happy to be involved in comedy again. I am happy to be performing in a comedy show again. This class was just the thing to get my comedy juices flowing like an evenly cooked winter steak sliced by the finest cold steel high performance knives onto a young and slightly shivering young man with soft skin.

You fucking lucky bastard. I want to go next.

But I am sad cause we filmed this video sketch for the show, and the tape where I am in it and another person from class is got all fucked up so we aren't gonna be in it. I was Svflonka, the Russian Supermodel. I wore hot pink lipgloss, a long blonde wig and a furry hat. And I said in a butchered Russian accent, "When my doctor says, Svfolka, you need put this cream on your poosy, I say no doctor, I don't put cream on my poosy, I am too beautiful, I don't get disease. I don't wear condom, am to beautiful to get disease. And if people are getting smallpox, it is because they do not have good fashion and they are ugly." It was a lot of fun and none will be able to see . . . oh well. Bollox. A tree fell in a forest.

Southerners love sweet tea. It is just iced tea with a little more sugar in it than normal and no lemon flavoring. How can they miss it? You just make fresh iced tea and put extra sugar in it. Why do they freak out about it? Anyhow, there's a lot of southerners in New York City.

Free lunches that go on production= good because they're free, bad because I eat more cause it's free and then I feel all lazy and full and procrastinate standing up and have to pee really bad.

Super Trailer Friday.
I like to make an effort to keep up on the latest and greatest for y'all so here's the latest and greatest new trailers, minus Sin City. Can't wait for that.
Dallas 362 love the actors in this, especially Hatosy
A Lot Like Love I think Ashton Kutcher is a great comic actor, and I want to fuck him.
Rory O Shea Was Here Interesting protagonist
Off the Map Ahh Joan. You rock hard.
Crash Big budget with lots of potential
A Scanner Darkly Very very interesting
Death of a Dynasty Cool concept, hung out with one of the actresses in this movie recently. She's funny. (see flickr)

not a trailer:
Lick Creek
(thanks nikolas)

Useful tip, website where you can track planes like that little screen that comes up in the plane- so it'll tell you exactly where and when a plane is arriving. Handier than an enthusiastic handjob!

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Hard drive, I am gonna defragment you.

Mmm yeah hard drive do you like that? Do you like defragmentation? How does that feel? Good? I hope so.

(ok, I just made a joke about defragmenting hard drives, somebody please give me a cigarrette and some beer so I can shove some cool in me)

HEY! Get the HELL OUT OF HERE lady!

I am trying to cool it up!

Ahhh. That's better.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Ok- so- ironically, the first time someone ever googled something relevant to my work happened yesterday- the day that I decided to make fun of my boss. So instead of braving some dramatic irony, I am going to take yesterday's post off the site for a few days till I am sure it was nobody important. I can track what people google to get to my site. Somebody googled the title of a commercial we are working on that hasn't come out yet. So, in case that person knows something about our company, I figured I shouldn't be a total dumbass and I should take it down. But that person did read my site read it for a while . . .

Anyhow. Boss didn't say anything, nobody in the office said anything- it should be ok.

Show this Saturday people! I'm excited, are you!

And yeah, it's "sold out", but we talked to the theatre and they said they will pack people in over capacity and to tell people to come early- so come early. Yeah.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Just Me Talkin Like a Blasted Hoodlum.

Multitasking is fun!

I really like being busy. I like juggling things. I like having things to do. Maybe it's the workaholicnessness in my blood. I come from a long line of hard working mofos, so maybe my type just thrives when busy, but yeah, I sure do thrive whenst most busy.

But busy or not- I will not neglect BLOG! I will care for blog as though it was my new boyfriend. Oh yes exboyfriend, you may ask yourself "how quickly I was replaced", and I am thinking of you when I fuck blog . . . or whatever. Oh so jealous he must be of beautiful blog. But jealousy is an evil beast! Do not let it consume you! Or let it . . .

Anyhow, I can't neglect blog right now cause I am going to have to leave y'all for 2 weeks for Thailand and that's out of my hands . . .

Thailand? Girl, did you say Thailand? You mean, like a tropical asian paradise where you and your friend Maria are going to have the fucking time of your lives while getting a tan and having various tanning cremes applied to you by hot foreigners from Sweden who are also on holiday? Yeah. I mean that Thailand. Oh and I also mean the Thailand with the culture and the history or whatever. That's good too.

I'm excited.

Oh and feeling quite happy. Which is good cause I was a little down last month because of a variety of disappointments I had experience. Good thing that emotions are fleeting cause here I am at happy again.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

I love being single. I love NYC. Like in that Alfie trailer, NYC is swimming with so many beautiful little treats with nice junk and cute smiles. It is truly uplifting to live among so many fine pieces of ass. I RECOMMEND IT LADIES! DUDES too - y'all have got to be having fun I'm sure. Single in NYC at this age is just delightful. End of story.

Also notable is the fact that there is a leak in the office and so there's these guys working on it, and they are actually up in the walls and in the ceiling. They created a hole in the office and have crawled into the walls like large meese. Damn did I just say meese? Somebody slap me. Harder. Like mice. They are like mice crawlin around and its silly. That's all.

And I am happy because I have my next thing to occupy my brain all lined up for when I come back. Aside from getting to work on a variety show spectacular slated for the summer, I will be directing a very talented sketch comedy group. Woo hoo director Heather in tha house! Woot woot. But don't miss out on performer/writer Heather in the hizzouse at the PIT this Saturday. OR ELSE.

So anyhow, while my office is normally kinda slow we just so happen to have like a gajillion commercials going on at once now, and we are finally working with a major feature film director, and I am preparing for Saturday's show, and Thailand. And my social life. It's important. It's time consuming and important when you want it to be good. If you get lazy about keeping up with people, that's your fault and you will have to live with the consequences of neglecting it.

The consequences of neglect my friend. Don't forget those. You must feed those things that you care about like a mother to a sweet babe in the woods.

Oh and about my dilemma of the soldoutedness of NIN shows- a) I am sucking it up and paying a fortune (but it's not that bad right now . . .) on ebay because it's that important to me, and b) they are adding another round of shows in the fall anyway. But just in case, I refuse to miss out on NIN at such an awesome venue. I am really happy if this ebay thing works out.

Holy shit its a beautiful day.

today's soundtrack

Friday, March 04, 2005

Stay Away Stupid Lady.

Hey, Fuck you lady! Go back to being cool on surf boards.

So I watched Win a Date With Tad Hamilton, a stupid and crappy but entertaining movie. It got me thinking of two things. Kate Bosworth's character. I hate that character more than anything on this earth. She's beautiful and nice. That's it. And that's really all that's needed to satisfy the tastes of men great and small. But I hate men who go for that. All she needs to be is pretty and nice. Non-threatening, no opinions, no taste, no job or interesting talents, hobbies, or, I don't know- substance. Nope, no substance necessary. And if she does have a job or go to school, it pleases the guy cause that's his way of telling himself that there's more to her, even when there isn't.

The perfect woman for the spineless male, or even just the modern "I like women as tools and not as people" guy, is the substanceless chick. She is ideal because she's not an individual human being with her own mind and her own life- nope. She's moldable and maleable to whatever he wants to do with his life. Yep. She'll pack up and move about the country with you for your job, she'll never argue her point of view too fervently. She's generally impartial because she believes that everything is relative and to each his own. Who cares what taste in music or movies she has. She'll soon adopt the taste of her boyfriend, and there he's got his charming little dicksucker by his side. I hate these women. They define themselves by their boyfriends. And the fact that there exist women who have no real substance and are just plain pretty and nice just throws everything off for the rest of us. And these women exist because they are raised in a world that praises "nice" girls.

I mean fuck. Every girl should be nice. Every person should be nice and respectful and courteous. I'm nice to people. I'm friendly. But I don't think in a million years I would be called a "nice" girl. Why? Maybe because I do my own thing, use dirty words, have my own life, and party like a whore on coke. Oh, and that much dreaded not needing a man to be happy. Any boyfriend I have had, I never needed. I wanted. And I've come across these guys that want to be needed, worshiped, looked up to- you know, the kind that date younger, more fragile girls. I once dated a guy who just loved ugly chicks or chicks with issues such as abuse. Yeah, seriously. He went for these girls because he easily became the center of their universes in seconds. He was handsome, smart, charming. These girls had never had a guy like him. And he loved being worshiped. The whole mutual respect thing we had going just wasn't enough for the boy.

Ugh I just hate that movie character cause so many girls see that and try to emulate it. Ever notice that that is exactly what "the most popular" girl in school is like? Yeah and that's on the outside. On the inside she's either dumb as fuck so the act isn't a problem. Or she's an emotionally dwarfed basketcase who has no clue about her own, I dunno, Id. She has no Id.

The moral of the story is that I am pissed that guys like these kind of chicks cause they don't really like them as whole people. They like them like they like a product- it does what they want, they consume it. It's there to please them. It gets them off and makes them feel loved. It pisses me off that so many guys don't want anything more than that. Lord knows I want more than that from guys.

Let's move over here for a second, into happy thought land.
Ok here we are. Bitterness free reflection.

ah yes . . . everyone loves making out . . .

Just seeing people hook up on tv or in movies brings me back to some of my happiest memories. Some of the awesomest times in my life are those moments with boys that I've had over the years. Anytime I am reminded of those long summer nights, those afternoons on some boy's couch, or that time in that other boy's car- what ever it was, it makes me smile. I think back to high school a lot, because it wasn't really that long ago, and because that's the last time, before now, that I was really single for a while. I was single for all of high school. That's four years of fun single boy memories. Other than that, I only had fun with other boys in in-between times cause during college I was involved in an on-again-off-again here and there.

Anyhow, nothing beats those times. And I am starting to love it again, but it's very different now. It's safe to say I am boy crazy. They are so much fun. Getting those stupid little smiles out of them, making them laugh, seeing their world. And to me, there is nothing sexier and more exciting then when you get to see a boy in their natural habitat. I loved (still love) going to boys' rooms. When they're in there in their boxer shorts, in their messy beds with all the articles of their daily life strewn across the room- I don't know- I just love seeing it. I see a boy's room and I instantly start thinking dirty thoughts about him- I mean if I find him attractive I do. I look at that bed and think, aha, this is where that boy has his alone time. This is where the "magic" happens. Those are the CDs he listens to to keep himself company, and that's the book he reads. I just love those little details about someone's life. It seems so secret. Yet when you get to go in their room it's such a window into their sexy little world. Yeah, the boring details are sexy to me. Men in their running pants and t-shirts are sexy to me. I guess that's a little obvious. Cause it reminds me of seeing them in and out of bed.

Mmm, back to those happy thoughts. Long summer nights. Yes those are great. Sneaking out of the house. Steamy car windows. Park benches, lifeguard chairs, kissing in the rain, that time in that elevator cause we just couldn't wait to get home . . . those goodnights where you leave with a smile on your face cause you just can't wait till next time. Yeah, I'm guilty of putting boys on a pedestal for as long as they are in my sight. And vow to myself and truly believe that the very next one is just the awesomest thing ever. Just that image of a man and a woman on a couch, with maybe some kind of undershirt on, cause top layers have been removed, and you know what's happening next. The anticipated squirming about, some hot hot kissing action, oh the very best moment is before the kiss when you get all scared about whether or not its ok to do it. And the torturously great dry humping.

I think that's all I want sometimes. Just a lot of that. The fun early on times you share with a person where you really get excited for their phone calls and all. It's so different in the city environment though. There's no cars and no getting in his car. You don't really hang out at apartments or houses right away, and the as the boys get older they start wearing fancy pants and putting gel in their hair. And dating becomes more like scheduled appointments for me and them cause single twenty-something New Yorkers are by nature busy little animals. But whatever. I still get excited at boys in sweatpants or boxers and their messy morning hair. And nothing beats the novelty of being in a car with em cause it will call right back to those good ol days. Ahh. Memories of getting some . . .

Meanwhile, I'm excited about Melinda and Melinda. A good Woody Allen film again! Thank god, cause with his last few I thought his glory days were way over. No doubt Will Ferrel, who has surprised me with the strength of his post-SNL career, has a lot to do with the reenergizing of Allen's work.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

SoHo Area Shopping Guide

(click for a bigger map)
I had wanted to make a lil SoHo Shopping Guide for a while, so here she is, and she shall be updated accordingly. Enjoy mofos. (PS- This is old and yet many people visit this page. If you'd like to know what to do and where to go while in soho, I invite you to send a polite email to me at UPDATE - no longer have much time with school to answer all these emails! this list is fairly up to date)

Quick Mini Update before you scroll down:
- Lure Fishbar has a happy hour with $1 oysters from 5-7pm weekdays, corner of Prince and Mercer
- Check out - "In God We Trust" women's and men's clothes and cool jewelery on Lafeyette btwn Spring and Kenmare; "Irregular Choice" women's shoes on Lafayette btwn Houston and Prince
- Get a great, affordable Mani-Pedi at Miguel Lopez on Lafeyette btwn Houston and Prince
- Tretorn on Spring near Mercer has great rainboots

H Fink's SoHo Area Shopping Guide:
- Affordable Cool Chains all right next to each other:
ALL ON BROADWAY btwn Houston and Grand - you will find these gems -
H & M @ Prince
Uniqlo @ Prince
and the brand new
Top Shop! @ Broome
Opening day of Top Shop
- all of these places have few locations outside of NYC and are a great place to find trendy items, some items are good prices, some are overpriced.

Barney's Co-op
116 Wooster Street
go to the Keihl's counter. Chat with Darnell. He's awesome. Go home with tons of awesome toiletry samples. And please do try to go back and actually buy some of the products cause they will keep giving you more fun samples (So far I love Philip B Lovin' Leave-In, John Allen's Sport 2-1 shampoo, and Keihl's Washable Cleanser and Sodium PCA Moisturizer)

97 Spring Street
(212) 941-1970
on Spring btwn Broadway and Mercer.
This store has an amazing selection of clothes and shoes at buy-able prices, not cheap, but not Chanel. It is also the perfect place to go to find special occasion dresses and gowns.

Agent Provocateur
133 Mercer Street
The most amazing lingerie indulgence. Screw La Perla, this stuff is much more fun and much more worth a splurge. While La Perla offers amazing fabrics and textures, Agent Provocateur offers these things with a very naughty, very pretty twist. So if you want to indulge your crotch in fineries, these are the fineries to choose. Also, their perfume is pretty great.
If you want affordable (not cheap) and luxurious underpanties/bras- there's always the Calvin Klein underpants store on Prince btwn Green and Mercer. Be sure to try their microfiber bras. They rule.
79 Greene Street
I LOVE this place - ask if there are any sale items in the back.

Anna Sui
113 Greene St, at Prince
Only if you're in need of serious indulgence- it's overpriced, but it serves a variety of answers for any really girly needs and fantasies. Stuff that'll make you feel like a really cool barbie basically.

Make-up Forever
West Broadway btwn Prince and Spring Make an appointment for a makeover- free when you buy 50 dollars worth of product- an amazing deal. Request Katie for the makeover. NOW LOCATED ON 12th St Near 5th ave!

Shu Uemura
121 Greene Street (btwn Houston and Prince) 212 979 5500 Buy their lipgloss, buy anything of theirs, it's great- and it comes with a beautifully decorated bag with original Japanese art on it. Location now closed!

FACE Stockholm
on the corner of Prince and Greene try their nailpolish, they don't even mind if you paint all your nails in store for a quickie manicure. Their specialty is in the wide variety of colors and shimmers of their shadows and makeup. Their black eyeliner also kicks ass.

Magic Shoes
Bleeker btwn Thompson and Sullivan
Amazing stock of men's and women's vintage shoes, boots, and sneakers

Purdy Girl
220 Thompson St (btwn Bleeker and W 3rd)
Killer girly vintage stuff
and next door to Purdy Girl-
Stella Dallas
218 Thompson St, also killer vintage clothing, specializing in vintage dresses

Bond No. 9
Go here to sample or buy some great rare/local perfumes.
On Bond Street btwn Broadway and Lafeyette (near W 3rd)

Levi's Store
Broadway btwn Prince and Spring
Here you can find amazing quality and style jeans for men and women in great prices. The brand holds true to some old fashioned ideals, keeping many of their cutest cuts at 40 bucks a pair. Very modern, hip styles can still be found in that 40 dollar range.

On Spring near Mercer
Expensive shit, but awesome- great shoes- girly stuff.

Vintage New York
482 Broome Street
A Wine Store- all the wines are from wineries in the Husdon River Valley. Go to the bar in the back and sample everything. Also a great place to find a new bottle o' wine.

Flying A
169 Spring St (near West Broadway)
Urban Outfitters like stuff, but it's indie and not a chain. Very cool stuff for men and women.

American Apparel
(On Prince near corner of Greene)
Hot basics - a cool american brand with form fitting basics, recommended for international shoppers

Shoe heaven:
Broadway btwn Prince and Broome- the east side of the street. These two blocks are littered with the best shoe stores. Especially btwn Prince and Spring, you will find so many varieties of cool shoe, it will make your choices on the internet seem scarce. Men will love the assortment of cool ass shoes. If you still want more selection, the Bathing Ape (BAPE), Puma, and Adidas stores are all nearby with a pretty bad-ass collection as well.

If you want weird little delights made by small merchants, be sure to stroll through NoLiTa- which is basically the blocks btwn Broome and Houston (incl Spring and Prince) west of Broadway.

Don't forget
There's some crap at these tables, but many stands in SoHo are run by independant artists, jewelery designers and clothing makers. You'll find the most things on Prince Street between Broadway and 6th ave, and also on Houston Street Between West Broadway and 6th Ave.

Not in SoHo, but also great in Manhattan:
218 W 14th btwn 7th and 8th Ave.
Hands down my favorite vintage store in NYC. Men and women will love their stuff. Great place for vintage t's, hoodies, and track jackets.

And don't ignore the street vendors in SoHo. They have the best handmade jewelry and clothes that you won't find in stores. There are many talented local artists making unique and affordable items. Best streets for this are Prince btwn Broadway and 6th ave, Houston on the south side btwn 6th and West Broadway, and West Broadway btwn Houston and Spring.

Loehman's, Filene's Basement, Macy's Harold Square, H+M, Daffy's, Century 21, Burlington Coat Factory, Conway, TJ Maxx and Marshalls are all also staples in any good shopper's diet.

Not SoHo but close enough
Best Manicure: Priti Organic Spa at
35 E 1st St near Bowery. All organic affordable luxury - the owner and staff are welcoming and warm.

Great SoHo Food spots:

- My favorite area places to eat:
Eight Mile Creek: Amazing Australian, outdoor seating, great wines, 240 Mulberry St
Le Jardin Bistro: Lovely outdoor seating, great french food, 25 Cleveland Pl # A
Rice: Delicious Asian Fusion, 292 Elizabeth St.

Kelly and Ping Asian Grocery
127 Greene St btwn Houston and Prince

My favorite Lunch Spot is Souen- where 6th Ave, McDougal and Prince St intersect. They do healthy and microbiotic food really really well. I suggest the macrobiotic plate with tahini dressing, and the chocolate soy parfait.

AMAZING chocolate shop/ lunch/ brunch/ dessert:
Marie Belle
484 Broome, btwn Wooster and West Broadway
Hidden in the back of this little chocolate shop, Marie Belle has an amazing delectable menu. An absolute must for chocolate lovers!
Click here for more information.

For a Cocktail break, visit the Mercer Hotel. It's at the corner of Mercer and Prince. This hotel has all sorts of famous guests- and is the spot where Russell Crowe threw the phone at that guy's head. Cool! It's very cosy with big couches and great drinks. If you have money to waste, toss some bucks down and eat at Mercer Kitchen downstairs.

Cheap Lunch- Forget Olives- though it's tasty, it's overpriced for what it is. Try the soup lady on the corner of Prince and Mercer (accross from L'Occitaine.)

Or if you're in the mood for something quick, cheap and you like Indian- try the Hampton Chutney Co. 68 Prince Street between Broadway and Lafayette. I like to order the Thali Special.

Fancy Mexican food Outdoor spot, great when it's sunny
Dos Caminos
And if you like Sushi- Restaurant reccomendation:
Japanese sushi restaurant on Thompson btwn Bleeker and Houston. It's been rumored to be the best sushi in NYC, well I went there yesterday, and fuck yeah, it's the best sushi I've ever had. It makes all other sushi seem like hairballs. It is small, crowded, and you should expect to wait on line as it is first come first serve. Your best bet is lunch hour or to go alone and sit at the bar. They are friendly and reasonable considering the quality of the sushi. The sushi chefs are artists and they freshly filet whole fishes before your eyes. Mmmmm. Tomoe. So so good. They also serve authentic Japanese style green tea (Fresh Paste base).

For entertainment - you might be in town while my show Street Meat is going on. It's a great mix of music, comedy, and party crazy fun. check out more info here:

And don't forget- Houston Street- It's pronounced "House, Tun" Rhymes with Mouseton- not like the city in Texas. Then you'll be a real New Yorker! Also, Laguardia is the same street- or a continuation of West Broadway. West Broadway is an entirely different street from Broadway and runs parallel to it.

For things to do, check and (which
posts once a day about what's going on) . You might also want to look at NY Magazine or Time Out NY.

As for shopping, check all of the small shops in nolita, and also lower east side orchard street between delancey and canal.

Most info in the soho guide is still correct, esp recommended restaurants. For entertainment you might also like a show at ucb theatre, but I suggest making a reservation online for the show and arriving at like 15 mins early.

Enjoy your trip! Oh also the waterfronts are all great, especially
the west side - go to the world financial center and walk north. And Water Taxi Beach at South Street Seaport.

Ooh and be sure to see the new Highline on the west side at 16th street/12th avenue.

PS - recommended restaurants: Prune, Shang, Freeman's Alley, Momofuku Ko (expensive with an odd reservation system)

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I Found My Stupid Bone.

I should probably be thankful that it's not George Lucas' shadow.

I scare easy. At least on a physical level. I would proudly boast that I am not afraid of non-physical stuff that scares most people. Ya know, in general I think I could say, psychological warfare? Bring it on! Humiliation? A challenge? Bring it on!

But flashes of light, sudden movements, and loud beeping noises always scare the shit out of me. Scratch that, not even loud beeping noises. Muted ones too. They can get screams and jumps and eeks out of me. If you ever see me do it, no it's not a joke, and no it's not for show. That's a genuine "Ack!". And lately I've noticed one reaction that I have been repeating over and over, so much so that I am borderline retarded for not learning to ignore it after a while.

I am scared of my own shadow. Yes. I mean my own shadow can actually make that little shocked gasp come out of my mouth and cause a spurt of jumpiness.

Sometimes on the street at night, there are multiple street lights, so there's lights from different angles, and you can have different shadows moving at different speeds. When there's a second shadow moving at a different speed, and I take notice of it, all of the sudden I will get scared and think that there's someone walking really close to me. And of course I am always on guard when I walk alone at night, so that's part of it. But still. There I am, once again, getting scared of my own shadow.

I say to myself, Heather, make a mental note. Stop getting scared of it, it's only your shadow. It will happen again. And when it happens, don't pee your pants over it, ok girlfriend!

But no. Jumpidy jump I go. That fast moving and close to me shadow scares the shit out of me.

And well, for right now, that's pretty much it. This shadow bit right here. That's all I've got for you right now. Perhaps this will do well with the "You write too much" crowd?

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Let's Be Adults Here Please.

3 weeks!

This weekend while in the car with my parents:
Me: Slow down dad, there's a cop.
Dad: Wow, how did you see that?
Me: Well, I'm not wearing sunglasses at night, so it's a little easier for me.
Mom: Take those off and stop being such a nerd!
Dad: I need them.
Me: Why do you need them dad?
Dad: The glare! The glare! These aren't anti sun these are anti glare!
Later on that evening my father empties out a plastic bag of sunglasses on the table. All sunglasses are in a style that would either be worn by Victoria Gotti, a gay German clubbing on the Champs-Elysees, or a Terminator. But my father exclaimed:
"Ten pairs for ten dollars!"
My father's sunglasses collection grows more impressive every day. Not a single pair is made to be "anti-glare". They are all cheap sunglasses that he got on sale at Odd-Job, kind of like a dollar store.

My Dad loves these things.
But I find my father's recent penchant for wearing women's sunglasses far less embarrasing than the time he picked me up from the eye doctor after gardening, and had hay all over himself and in his pockets, leaving a thick trail of hay all over the office, and spilling out onto the counter as he took out his wallet to pay for the exam. I don't know how, but somehow, he managed to have the hay inside of his pockets. And I went to school with one of the girls at the counter. Yes. Moderately less embarrasing.

The new Nine Inch Nails album "With Teeth" will be released May 3. Cool little updates are here.
This Friday, tickets go on sale to see them May 15 and 16 in NYC at the Hammerstein Ballroom! Arg I have been waiting forever and ever to see them!!! Yay. Last time they were on tour, they played MSG- and I totally missed them, and Hammerstein is a way better venue. Yay.

I am spending much time getting ready for my comedy class' show. Just in case I didn't already spam you and tell you when and where yet- I'll tell you again: In NYC, at The Pit:
Sat. March 12, 2005
9 pm