Thursday, May 12, 2005

I mean business.

Do they teach business in business school? What kinda business? I think it's probably this kinda business:

Where people do stuff together.
I wanna make those guys in the picture talk.
The man at the desk will be named Jorma, and the guy in the seat is Ray.
Jorma: So you say you have tried apple juice?
Ray: I mean, I have per se. I don't think it's going to get in the way of our deal though.
Jorma: I know. You want me to sign this paper document. I will. It's just . . . I lack confidence.
Ray: Don't open up to me Jorma. Not again. I can't be your therapist. You have to stop pushing people. We went over this last time. I'm not going to lend an open ear to you until you end your pushing problem.
Jorma: But THEY WANT TO BE PUSHED!
Ray: Oh Jorma, not this again. I told you I can't talk to you about this. Now sign the goddamn deal, I've got a can of pork and beans waiting for me at my desk just waiting to be opened. Did I add that they've got maple flavoring? They've got maple flavoring.
Jorma: You drive a hard bargain Ray, but you know what's got to happen now.
Ray: Fine fine. Push me, just get it over Jorma, give me a good ol shove.
(Jorma shoves Ray)
Jorma: I like you Ray.
Ray: I like you Jorma. You can have some of my beans.
Jorma: Thank you! Thank you so much Ray. You're great.
(they exit)
MOVING ON TO IMPORTANT NEWS-

I HAVE MADE AN AMMMMMMMAZING DISCOVERY!
There's not much in the fridge at work, but thank my lucky stars cause I was forced to pair to unlikely matches together for a taste sensation- Peanut Butter and Yogurt taste awesome together! It's vanilla yogurt and natural style peanut butter (Henry that free peanut butter you stole from those people you're staying with sure is going a long way!) It's so delicious I feel invigorated! Look at all these ----> exclamation points !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of my friends are done with classes today and yesterday. Good. I want you to come out and play. Isn't that an Offspring song? I remember seeing them at Woodstock 99. These people took a sheet and tossed people in the air off it. I went on that and it was lots of fun till they didn't hold it tight enough and I hit the ground. But for some reason it didn't hurt. I'd do that again. I should do that again soon.

I am faced with a trifecta of hard decision making to make. I don't know what trifecta means, I'm not looking it up. But I am certain that's what I am being faced with.

Woah dude, post-writing this I made a decision- I don't want this one job at this one place. This one place promoted me 3 times before even starting there (we think you'd be great for this other job kind of thing), but each job didn't pay that much more. Anyhow, got a good offer at this tribecca place with a super cool vibe, cool people, awesome space, pool tables, flat screen tvs everywhere, lots of cool stuff going on. That's it. I'm gonna do it. I'm too distracted. THE END.

Oh and also I contacted 2 open mike places. I am gonna try stand up next week.

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