Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The Furious Battle over the Gays, Not Without Its Casualties


The Battle Over Gay Teens, this week in Time Magazine.

We got Harvel Keitel in the left corner. (Not to be watched while having sex. Heed my warning, if you are having sex and have left the tv on, and Harvey Keitel is in what ever you are watching, TURN IT OFF. You can't do it. His image in Cathode Ray Tube format kills boners and makes things uncomfortably squishy, just take it from me- ok.)

Harvey "The Boner Killer" Keitel is battling over the gay teens cause he wants them to jump around in his recently built entertainment center on Ventura Blvd somewhere in California. He built this mega-million mega-ton entertainment complex in 1947 hoping to reign in on the gay teen media fun market industry. Over-stepping the mediocre publicity campaign of his staff, he hopes to single handedly draw them in with his might and fists- if not with the complex's brightly lit "Hairgel Tent" and the 24/7 running nude musical production of Reservior Dogs.

In the right corner we've got the staff of Ford Motor Company. Research proves the undisputed fact that gay teens manufacture the best quality American automobiles. The infamously relentless staff of Ford Motor Company will stop at nothing to tap into the rich well of skilled automotive production at stake in the battle over gay teens. Says Edna Figgers of Human Resources, "Come Hell or Harvey Keitel, the sweet sweet honeypot of gay teen labor will be ours! I will chew his neckflesh if I have to."

(No I haven't read the article. But duh, that's obviously what it's about.)

1 comment:

Ken said...

My money is on Ford Motor Company... I mean think about it... It's the whole company, so someone in that vast army of people has to be someone will the ability to defeat Harvey Keitel... plus he would tire eventually (fighting all those people) where a lesser of fighter would overtake him.

Then again Harvey could go Japanese Restaurant scene in Kill Bill Vol.2 on Ford... but that stuff only happens in the movies.