Monday, October 24, 2005

Louis Vuitton bags are ugly.

Yet there's entire Chinese families who eat because they can make a living selling imitation plastic near authentic versions of them on Canal St. And as stupid as the tourists and people-who-might-be-good -hearted-but-have-poor-fashion-sense -so-I-look-down-on-them-and -dismiss-them-entirely-solely-because
-of-their-terrible-taste look, they look a whole lot less stupid than the girls with real ones. Why? Because these girls spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on the real fucking thing!

Really. They might as well go to an art supply store and purchase the fattest marker they can find and right "freakin idiot" right on their moisturized little foreheads because that purse is effectively doing the same thing. Ok, so you really spent what is equivalent to my entire paycheck on some little bag- that isn't even cute. My god. Yes, I have opened up a real designer bag and felt bits of ecstacy at the smell of that fine soft leather (yes there's nothing greater than the tanned dermis of dead animals), the intimate detailings, and the sweetness of the careful stitching. But at the end of the day I am not paying 100s of dollars to have a glamourous place to shove my tampons (my dear I've already got a more glamourous place for those). Not only that but I carry around this beautiful all leather vintage 80's black purse that's just gorgeous. It cost me 25 bucks. And before that I had this great brown leather purse, that was actually a fake prada, but you could hardly see the word prada on it and was simply a great looking real leather bag, for 20 bucks. Now that's smart and sexy.

Do like I do ladies. Stop being dumb as reeboks. If you're going to splurge on an item, first of all, make sure it's actually cute instead of looking like these raging ugly purses that have no style and are only pushing their brand and stand as a symbol purely to communicate the amount of money you're willing to waste, or if it's fake, how desperate you are to have the next best thing even if it looks like a vinyl turd. Second of all, make sure that the cheaper version of this item isn't actually a hundred times cuter and more interesting. Shop better. Look, I've even tried to help. Vintage and places like Marshalls, Century 21, Daffys, Loehmans and Filene's are the best kinds of places for purses.


Nothing says "check out my ugly" better.
Well, maybe this:

Old people hugging a tree in love. Yechhh.


PS- Apparently they've re-aired my episode of Elimidate. Yes, that was me on that show, it was filmed in the summer of '04, yes I am over that evil exboyfriend, yes I did find out he was cheating on me by reading his email, and yes it was extremely weird and embarrasing how upset I got on that show. The producers really fuck with your head on reality shows and I understand why people come off as crazy because they put all kinds of ideas in your head about the other people and edit you weird and manipulate the situation.

10 comments:

christy said...

deal heather,

i love your blog.

love,

christy

christy said...

deaR heather,

OH NO! I spent all night thinking of that comment and i got it wrong. I feel like an IDIOT!!!

sorry heather

;ove,

christy

vox said...

Someone has to come up with a better and more innovative line of accessories for the super wealthy.

Nikolas said...

I wish I saw that episode!

and

those bags are ugly... but I'd love to see some lemming with a complete outfit made out of that print- i am talkin' socks, undies, hat, and shoes....all topped off with some bling-a-ling~!

tooba waheed said...

i am so glad some one except me saw it!!!!! louis vuitton bags are ugly, though not always but many a times. but they sell those ugly bags for about 1000$ per bag on an average. that is the true power of a brand name!!!! that is true business!!! i am very impressed, but i shall never buy a louis vuitton bag, i will definitely go for gucci, cuase they look a lot better.

Laura said...

Um Louis vuitton bags are gorgeous and classy and sophisticated made from the highest quality materials. The work and hours that go into these HANDMADE bags is incredible. I respect that you may not like them but calling them ugly is a stretch and rude to the international fashion house. It's people's decision as to what they spend there money on and a Louis vuitton is worth it to many especially the fashion industry. I think you should be careful because many people can be offended

Anonymous said...

Don't be mad you can't afford to drop 1800 on a Louis like I did :) Gorgeous!

Anonymous said...

Anything with a logo/monogram on it is reason enough for me to walk away from it. LV is a very tacky brand. Class is understatement. And a woman lugging around a "purse" that is basically a status piece has real personal issues with class and status. Someone with real fashion sense and style would be horrified by the LV brand, as most classy women indeed are.

And not only that, but it is not of very high quality either:it is made of painted-on canvas. But really though, the dread and loudness of carrying around a billboard, which is what LV bags essentially are! LV was a luggage company decades ago, and somewhere in time they decided to take their luggage design to pocketbooks and clutches. They basically decided to become a mass-market brand, even if they maintained high prices. A visible brand, with a high price is what it takes for the working classes to desire the status symbol and this marketing strategy worked for them in the 60's and it is working better than ever today. It's all marketing.

Anonymous said...

Anything with a logo/monogram on it is reason enough for me to walk away from it. LV is a very tacky brand. Class is understatement. And a woman lugging around a "purse" that is basically a status piece has real personal issues with class and status. Someone with real fashion sense and style would be horrified by the LV brand, as most classy women indeed are.

And not only that, but it is not of very high quality either:it is made of painted-on canvas. But really though, the dread and loudness of carrying around a billboard, which is what LV bags essentially are! LV was a luggage company decades ago, and somewhere in time they decided to take their luggage design to pocketbooks and clutches. They basically decided to become a mass-market brand, even if they maintained high prices. A visible brand, with a high price is what it takes for the working classes to desire the status symbol and this marketing strategy worked for them in the 60's and it is working better than ever today. It's all marketing.

Easybreazy said...

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Keep sticking your neck out for all of us ''finkers''.Love your blog!Love Easybreazy