Friday, October 21, 2005

Not Yet

I have been receiving some extremely vigorous advances from men in their 30s in the past year. Growing all the more vehement when I don't devour their bait. Which makes me wonder, does something magical happen on a man's 30th birthday?

Now don't get me wrong, I like people in their 30s, and I'm not terribly far from it. But I notice that I've become a shiny little trophy, and that the thirtysomethings like to wrestle for the prize. They seem to take interest in the 24 year old with just enough pedigree to please their mommies, as most of this lot likes to tell me just how much their mother would like me. Perhaps they are holding onto a happier time, when being a bachelor was cool- ah the roaring 20's . . . and they'd like to tell all the world- hey, I can still get me a fresh out of college specimen that looks good in tight jeans.

These type have a little more bank and connections with which to bait me. They offer me fancy connections with countless individuals on the brink of fame and importance. They even offer timeshares and bonus His and Hers watches if I act now without delay. Their lives are near complete but they're just missing that special something- ah yes, the younger woman. And it's good to get them when they are younger than you- that way, no matter how smart, pervasive, or always right she is, you'll always have the upper hand of life experience.

Sexy is ageless. But -

I say no thanks to the older man and embrace the mid to late 20 year old, so long as I am one as well. For he has been watching just about as many sunrises, and discovering the same phase of life that we can share together. Me and the mid to late 20 year old have much in common. Hand in hand we go as we begin to assert a new independence from our parents, still live in cramped apartments with roommates, pay off college loans, gripe about the weak economy that met us post-college, work off our freshman 15s, and split the bill with our meager wages. We still drink glamorously and look good in ripped up jeans. Leave us be, thirtysomethings. We're not better than you, just different. Go pick on someone your own size. Though I commend your persistence. I am sure you will have success if not with me. People do seem to like money and fame. And it's rather amusing when you try your hardest to hold it over my head.


vox said...

Live and let live! You twentysomethings probably grew up in a age with a greater plethora of resources than any previous generation.

brian said...

you are probably the most self absorbed person on the planet or maybe i just don't get out that much. all you twentysomethings, strike a pose and shut the fuck up.

koos said...

HA! seriously

Heather said...

He's probably just pissed off about being in his 30s.

All I am saying here is that I am sick of older men- mostly in their 30s- who think they can buy me with their money and their connections. You can't fucking respect that? Or would I somehow be cooler if I rejected men my own age because they don't buy me fancy dinners all the time?

If you so desire us to shut the fuck up, you might want to start by not reading our websites.

kelly said...

hey, i just found this site through a link from brian k vaughn's, and i have never heard someone express exactly what i have been thinking so perfectly before. i've linked you from my blog, i hope its ok with you that a bunch of business students will be reading this post (well, hopefully, assuming they're reading mine). amazing, amazing, amazing. you completely hit the nail on the head, and forget all these sassy comments saying otherwise. are we self-absorbed for realizing that these guys are hitting on us? or for asking them not to? tool.
i heart my cramped apartment and reading your blog in it.

brian said...

ok, ok. mercy.
i just turned 50. but i heard one
comic use that expression and i think
it's funny. rememer, being pc is
fine when you're running for office,
but it's not funny.

doug said...

heather's been watching too much tv. heather, look out for college-boy chalmydia and HPV when you suck off those cocks.