Said to the man on the subway/PATH/Metro whose legs are spread wide as the big blue ocean with all the cute little fishes and whales swimming about, "Sir, is your dick really that big that you must take up two seats."
"Yeah, baby, bigger than you've ever seen . . ."
"My dear, I work in gay porn and quite regularly interact with a man with a massive 11 inch penis. He has no problem sitting like a gentleman. Kindly close your legs."
Now sadly enough, this is an imagined conversation. I usually just look at such men with disgust or anger, and then sit right there, or stand near there if I have to, and continue to broadcast my dirty looks upon them. How am I supposed to read my comic books while standing? I can't do that. I have to sit. You've got to move your big aggravating legs- rrrr so aggravating . . .
Nope I can't be confrontational or perky in transit or elevators. It's too scary to be so close to people in such tight places.
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Leave me alone so I can concentrate on my putting. Please! That's all I want. I just want to concentrate. I can do this . . . . ahhhhhh . . slow, and, easy . . .
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Last night was Halloween.
A man dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire began freaking out and going "Ohh! Oh! Ohhhh!" and beating his chest with pot covers. It was just the perfect amount of obnoxious while still maintaining the ability to be amusing. Enjoyable, even. Two thumbs up.
2 comments:
I love your information...your approach is awesome!
Just in case you didn't get it in my last post
"I am a very positive person.
Unfortunately, I don't feel the need to satisfy my inadequacies by having to tell the world what a "Great Person" I am, such as yourself."
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