Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Webbernators


naughty little bitch

So I saw an ex-boyfriend slash now my friend last night at an event he performed in, and I honestly don't feel sad or angry or wanties to get back together, but still, almost no matter what, nobody EVER likes any new bitches in your exbitches life. I mean unless the relationship is LONG dead and they are like getting married or he's found true happiness and you can feel happy for him. Like I like my first superboyfriend's (I guess a superboyfriend is one that lasts a long time) woman and they live together and I am sincerely happy about that pairing cause I know she's one of those make-him-a-better-man chicks.

Anyhow. If whatever it was ended less than 2 years ago, I think it's safe to say that whatever hole they deposited their filet-o-fun into is going to annoy you. And seriously, I saw this chick I knew he crotch-touched and we didn't talk, and I didn't even stick around after the show cause I had other gittins to go to, but just the sight of her big ass smile annoyed the momentary fuck out of me. I mean, I've never met the girl, but an instantanous mental catfight occured in my mind as I caught sight of her. It lasted but a minute, but it was intense enough to conjure the meanest little judgements based on her presence alone. "That waspy big smiled horsey little bitch. God her smile is so ... Kathy Lee Gifford. FUCK!" And what's funny is that she looked at me with recognition, and god bless her for that bit of normalcy. See, I know she's had to have seen me on his active myspace and friendster pages. And now people- am I right here? Any person with an ounce of sanity should be compelled to investigate the exes or suspicious members of the opposite sex that are obvious on the page. Am I right? Yes I am. Cause I've had many a conversation with a friend where all the mystery women on their dude's webprofilicular pages are instantly "bitches" merely for their existence. But, hey, we always qualify it with "I'm sure she's a nice girl" the go-to phrase for insincere good-sportsmanship of the dating game. Yep. I am sure Kathy Lee Sukhiscock is a nice girl. And hey, I'm sure to many another lady out there, I'm a nice girl too.

A woman's propensity toward investigation of any said man is a true reflection of her interest. Perhaps the same is true about a man. Does any woman google a guy she just wants for only one thing? Does she look at his little profile with curiousity about the shit he does? Not unless she either sweats him or hates his ass. Whatever the feeling is, if he gets under your skin, he infects your webconscious. Permissive spying (meaning, you allow people find out about you because you have a myspace page or the like) is an element of the World Of Today and I think many are compelled by it. Hell, an ex's new woman used to read my website every day for over a year. I know because most websites (including my own) have some kind of free tracker that can tell you where your hits are coming from, and I had plenty from her podunk school in the middle of nowhere.

We choose what we make public. And the increasingly public element of every person- the very fact that you can probably learn a little something about aquaintences and those new people in your life- is extremely weird. Something's out there about everybody. You either gotta balls out embrace it, or pay special mind to mask your footsteps with every net-step you take. We're either a less annoymous world for it, or a more skillfully presented one at that.

So in spite of the idea that many people think machines and computers may be the enemy to man, they serve as a social viaduct- feeding the temptation to know more about other people. Like words, the internet is another creation of man for reaching out to another, and this one is just the most passive aggressive, useful, and vice-inducing at all. One can be complusive and feed a curiousity at any fleeting whim. Hense the net-porn concerns that people have for kids. The instant gratification that the internet provides is kind of like golf. The only thing to beat is your own handicap.

You are fucking guilty, people. You all misbehave on the internet.
As Devil-Pacino mocks:

"God is watching."

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