Wednesday, June 28, 2006

dramtically expanding pony (this is not a spam)

I think that Ranch Hands are really funny.

Mark "Dancypants" Leyrer
says: "ive been good, i have another interview on friday so im hoping that goes well.. i had a weird dream last night. about tangles webs and a random girl from HS squatting/bouncing on them sorta like hopscotch. and then a dramtically expanding pony from far then near, that got awkwardly close until i was afraid that he was going to bite me and how unexpectedly damaging a bite from a pony would be even if the pony didnt mean it..."

Wolkin gave me the best gift I ever received (this link, not the things within the link):

Today's NY Times- Subway Groping: Women Speak Out.
It's amazing to me what some people don't realize. I've been groped and exposed to public gennies a lot. My friends too. My friend Maria had a dude in Rome put his thingy on her leg in the subway and it was so packed she couldn't move. When I was on the Roman subway (at 17), every adult male palmed my ass. There've been worse. Lots of dudes seem to want young ladies to see their weiners. But though I'd like it to lead to me punching them in their stupid faces, more often then not it leads to the momentary paralyzing fear inherent in surprise. One of these days I'll materialize my anger in violence. Godwilling.

Ok- I have all sorts of reflecting to do, and I'd like to do it soon. I think Thursday I'll stay in and write. Till then, check out this amazing creation from Lucas Entertainment:
I am hoping to further test this challenge using water displacement methods.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Terminator 4: The Musical, and more ....

Good YAY news!
Ok, so I wrote my first full-length comedic feature stage play. It is called Terminator 4: The Musical. (A true labor of love for those films) I have assembled a stellar cast and just got my first confirmed showtime! MARK YOUR CALENDARS- Terminator 4: The Musical drops on Tuesday September 12 at 8pm at The PIT. I will be playing the role of Sarah Connor. Hey, if you want your dream role, sometimes you have to write it for yourself.

Today on Girlspoke I wrote about how I'd like to do some youths. Read here.

Saw Prairie Home Companion yesterday and it was fantastic. Definite oscar contender. Didn't expect it to be so good. It's not really a go to the theatres exciting kind of thing like Superman, but it should be seen. It's got one of the best screenplays (and should win for that) and the freshest, MOST CLEVER dialogue I've seen in a movie. It's got a perfect ensemble cast so bravo to the casting director. In spite of the PR for the movie, Meryl and Lohan's roles are no bigger than the rest. The music is really fun, and Woody Harrelson is his most fuckable since Cheers. A lovely, perfectly told and acted story. I've never taken much notice of Robert Altman but now I see why he's so respected. Kevin Kline is especially masterful in his execution of really funny lines. Tommy Lee Jones delivered my favorite line of the movie though, from the scripture. But I can't remember it at this time. So here's other quotes-
And the obviously brilliant Garrison Keillor: "The penguin joke? Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo. The second penguin says, what makes you think I'm not?"
Ohh and Harrelson in a song: "Liquor she said, and lick her I did, and I don't work there any more."

Ok, I've got more to tell y'all about and I will later on. Ciao.

Sunday, June 25, 2006



You're a tiny Dutch angel with a filthy vocabulary.



Andrew Wright:
How was TV on the Radio, by the way? Didn't they open up for NIN (as I call them)?

Heather Fink:


Andrew Wright:
Wow, what a pretty hate machine.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

I just like this picture. THAT's ALL. In an INNOCENT way. OK?

On last night's Virgin Megastore event, this blog spoke of my contributions (which were caught on tape).

"On my way home last night I passed a gleeful young woman in cork wedges standing outside the Virgin Megastore in Union Square. She was wearing a sandwich board pasted together from 5 or 6 laminates of tanned dudes making out and cheering, "Who likes gay porn? I know I do! Coooome on inside and meet acclaimed gay porn director Michael Lucas at 7 o'clock!"
(That was me, but I was not wearing wedges. Nor was I holding a sandwhich board. It was a sign. Big difference. Surprisingly enough, everyone smiles when you scream out the phrase "Who loves gay porn, I know I do.")

Check out this burger party on Saturday (hosted by Gothamist).

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Fresher Items ...

Rachel Kramer Bussel likes me! See.

And Michael Lucas wrote the funniest blog ever today! See. (worksafe)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Fresh Items:

Today I wrote a blog over at

Also, you can check out my weiner essay over at if you haven't peeped it before.

And tomorrow, you must attend this event- I'll be there and it's gonna be fun and whacky. Meet me in the Virgin Megastore in Union Square at 7pm!

The tragedy of the day is as follows:
Last night when I got home and was really wasted, I took this big lettucey salad out of the fridge, and proceeded to eat it in my bed. Somehow I managed to spill it all in my lap and my bed. So my pajama-ed crotch was covered in salad. I had my camera in arms' reach so I was able to take a fantastic photo of it. Unfortuntely, iPhoto freaked out and ATE all the photos out of my motherfucking camera. I can't wait till Bill Gates figures out a way to bitchslap Steve Jobs' software and visa versa. Like Jobs- seriously, for all those times that fucking paperclip bitch suggested crap to me I didn't want to do whilst in a Word Document- AND NO I DO NOT WANT TO REVERT TO THE NORMAL DOCUMENT TEMPLATE.

That's all folks ... for now.

I was on the playboy radio

And now you can listen to it, or use it like a podcast all up in yo ipod n shit.

(press play or right click and save as)

PS- It's a lil dirty.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Michael Showalter Interview

One of the greatest influences on my comedy has been "The State" and the guys that used to be in that show, since they do so many different projects these days, from Reno 911 to movies and live shows. One ex-stater who has contributed a great deal of his talent to stage and screen is Michael Showalter. I recently had the opportunity to interview the guy behind The State, Stella, The Baxter and most recently, Michael Showalter's Bogus Journey Into Night. It's 10pm on Tuesdays at Rififi.

So many of your endeavors involve collaborations with your friends and other talents you know. Personally I think that's got to be really enjoyable. Did you have to fight to work with the people you wanted, or has it come easily?

Hm. that's a good question. It is enjoyable. Working with friends and other talents that is. Not as enjoyable as Ecstasy of course. Unless it's bad shit. Then it's terrifying. I didn't really have to fight no. Met all the State/Stella guys in college rather by accident. One of my good friends in college was John Hamburg (he wrote Meet The Parents.) I think that like minded people sort of find each other. What's the saying? Oh yes, "Birds of a feather flock together." I don't know which feather I'm of but I seem to have found other birds of

You make yourself easily accesable to fans. What is one of the best things to come from fan interaction?

Besides groupie sex?

One of the worst?

Besides groupie sex?

What was the most valuable lesson you learned in making the Baxter?

1) Making movies is hard. 2) It absolutely sucks to have mean things said about you in national publications. 3) Roger Ebert is a fat shit. 4) Richard Roeper's pubes are brittle. 5) I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Will you be writing more screenplays?

Mos def (not the rapper). I'm not currently writing one but I have a few ideas that i'm excited about and I just haven't hunkered down to write them yet. There's two reasons for this: 1) I really like to say "hunker down." 2) Really it's just that first reason.

Without mentioning specifics, doing the Baxter opened you up to greater exposure, which eventually resulted in some tabloid gossip. Most of your career, you've managed to be well-known, but fall out of this kind of radar. Do you think you're prepared for more of this attention were it to come in the future?

It's really hard when the spotlight of stardom burns on you the way it has with me but I, like Brittany Spears, am used to it and it's only making me stronger.

I have enjoyed seeing your live Stella show since I was in high school. At the time you started it, there was nothing else like it. How did it come to fruition?

It just sorta happened. Mike, David and I were too lazy to ever write anything so we had to develop an onstage rapport by default of the fact that we didn't have any written material and we had time to fill.

Can you tell me a favorite memory from doing the Stella show?

Probably when we were reminscing about Bruno Kirby's scene from "Spinal Tap" and getting all the details wrong and then he came onstage and corrected us. He was in the audience that night and it was set-up. Really funny moment.

I haven't seen your new show: Michael Showalter's Bogus Journey Into Night, can you tell me more about it?

Each week I'm trying different stuff. I have musicians and comedians. Week ..1 we performed our shitty jokes that haven't worked over the years. The performers were Eugene Mirman, Leo Allen and Janeane Garofalo. The band was King Of France. Week ..2 was Slide Show Week with Chelsea Peretti, Andrea Rosen, Demetri Martin and the band Last Car. This week Seth Herzog will be doing all his dances back-to-back. The band is Pooch Punt.

Do you ever get sick of being funny?

No but other people definitely get sick of me being funny.

See past interviews:
Comic Book Writer Brian K Vaughan
Fashion Designer/ Project Runway chic, Kara Janx

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Don't forget to go to Hoboken Comedy Night this Sunday at 8pm at Goldhawk on 10th and Park.

Yo Saturday- I had fun at the NIN Concert- lots n lots!

Ok, so I didn't get to go backstage with Trent Reznor because the person who had the connection had a family emergency and couldn't go last minute. BUT I had so much fun and an awesome time anyway. We took the train so that neither of us would have to worry about driving just in case we ended up seeing Mister NIN ReznorSoAwesome in person and wanted to see where the night would take us. But instead of a cool story of meeting NIN, instead, we very much enjoyed our FRONT ROW seats (no mosh pit in front of us- we were like ON the stage). (See pictures from the tour here. Click on them on the sidebar of the page)

Trent Reznor is so incredible. Everything about his performance was perfect. The man is in his 40s and rocks out like a teenage athelete. His voice was flawless like on a record. In each song, he thrashed about and perfomed his heart out. We could even see his Ballsweat soaked pants we were so close! I loved the songs, but was sad that this is my second show and he still didn't play my favorite song, We're in this Together Now. But he played a lot of songs from Pretty Hate Machine- including Something I Can Never Have. I also got some ok pics which I will post on Monday (I left the camera chord at work). The people there were so odd cause it was obvious that this was a 90s show. It was mostly older kids. Few people were dressed goth. I guess that time is over. But fucking crap- Trent's all into exercise instead of drugs now, and he looks so fucking smokin. I just screamed my head off and danced around as violently as possible (without people mistaking it for medical or mental disturbance) like he was the Beatles. Cause to me- Trent Reznor is freakin John Lennon.

those lips! those arms! Aye!

Anyhow, at the end of the night we didn't want to bother with the train so we tried to hitch a ride with concertgoers that were heading to NYC (I was with a guy so it didn't seem too dangerous). Unfortunately everyone we asked was going to suburbia. We ended up getting a ride in the TAG Body Spray Van and we even got dropped off in Manhattan where we wanted to be! We only paid for tolls and that's all they wanted! The people in the Van were these funny kids from queens and they were really unprofessional about their job but it was so entertaining- for example, they yelled out the window at this couple "Do her in the butt!" Imagine having that yelled at you by a TAG Body Spray Van that is supposed to give out free samples? Hilarity!

Then we went to McManus and saw some friends and got really wasted really fast. And on the walk home, these lesbians walked with us and somehow ended up hanging with us, and they totally wanted to do me! But I'm shy so they didn't do me. Plus I like weiners better. In the morning we tried to go to Outback steakhouse but they weren't open. It was so sad cause I still have a yearnin' for some juicy steaks. (ok people, I left it wide open, now's a good time to make a double entendre)

Tonight is the Erotic Exotic Ball hosted by Tommy Lee and Tera Patrik. She's my favorite female pornstar. Weird right? That I even have one? Well, I read the industry mags and I always like her interviews and the way she promotes herself and her new company. I think she will do really well with it.

Other stuff:

Fuck yeah Haagen Daaz new flavor is Mayan Chocolate! Sounds so tasty I could tittyfuck a gallon of it!
Can I get a hellz yeah for HD's swiss chocolate almond flavor? Any other fans out there? It drives me nutz! Ha, nutz! NUTS :)

Hot soccer players!!
Friends of The Magnet! Special announcement!
Tonight, Saturday, June 17th, Mike Myers will be returning to play in the Tiny Spectacular after a month-long absence!

Call now for reservations! 212-244-8824. Show is at 7:30! $5! Standby might be available if we max out on the ol' reservations, so come on by! Exclamation point!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Entrevous my little evening si vous plait

Ok, I think I even weirded myself out last night. I went to a release party for Thinking XXX on DVD, in which my boss stars. As his handy dandy publicist, I was there to make shit happen, if possible.

- So there's this documentary-type thingy being done about me and last night was the first time I got followed around with a camera. It was quite a task keeping on top on Michael, pornstars, press (there was a TON of it), friends around me, and my camera, but I managed to do it and actually have some fun too.

- Savannah Samson insisted on taking pictures of my feet. Straight porn people are craazayy.

- Ew! Ron Jeremy kissed me on the cheek. So dirty! Ew, but you know what was actually grosser? When Tom Green kissed me at a bar a few years ago. That SOB eats weird stuff and slobbered all over my face. I've been kissed by grossies. But hey, at least they are C-list celebrity grossies.

- My boss managed to embarrass me more than I thought possible. A young gentleman who I am involved with was nice enough to meet me at the end of the night so I didn't have to walk home in those impossible heels and tight dress alone. And when I introduced him to my boss, the boss exclaims- "Oh, so you're the one with the blank blank" Just fill in the damn blanks yourself, people. It wasn't good. I made some freakin girltalk and it bites me in the ass. But the young gentleman proved himself to be a really good sport about it. Which makes him kind of awesome. Not too many
guys could brush off a gay pornstar making comments about your secret places.

- I saw Mariel Hemmingway in the Hotel Lobby. She's thinner than other stuff that's really thin!

is a great new website. They mentioned Hoboken Comedy Night today- yay! BTW don't you f'ing forget to come to the show on Sunday at 8pm at 10th & Park in Hoboken, or I will Tanya Harding your stupid shins.

I think this story is really funny. I've met that guy a bunch out and about. So sad.

Ok mofos! I'm outta here.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Feelin good.

Dude. I feel like I am on happy pills. So many things are going so well lately I am kind of surprised. Especially work and comedy. Good things:
1- I just finished watching the rough cut of The Dangerous Liaisons documentary. It's GREAT. It is so funny and entertaining and I am sure it will be a hit. It's being screened at a film festival in July so I'm really looking forward to the premier. I guess the next step will be working to get it shown in better venues, possibly cable. I showed the trailer here once before and the trailer is nowhere near as cool as the final product.

2- I am going to a special event tomorrow and I realized that I have overworn most of my dresses. So I contacted my friends at Alessandro Dell'Acqua and they are going to help me out! His designs are incredible.

3- I finally figured out the major plot elements of a stage comedy I am writing.

4- More standup material has been coming to me lately that is better than some of the vapid crap I have talked about before.

5- We are shooting a really cool scene here today. The set is great and it was fun to watch them build it. Especially the glory hole!

Here's what I like to call "Fun at work"(with a candy bar):
Fun at work!

I'm also really glad that I puked last night (again, sheesh), this time not because of overdrinking. I think I ate something bad. There's too much happy good things happening, even more than I mentioned. I believe that for every good thing that happens, something equally bad will probably come along and visa versa, so I'm kind of scared of disappointments and things getting fucked up. Puking unexpectedly is a bad thing that I can deal with. Plus who wants those yucky food calories anyways!

Ok, that's all. Toodellooo shnookems!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

I puked on the PATH train!

When I turned 25, I puked on public transport for the very first time! In all my years taking subways and PATH, I've quite hated seeing nasty random puke on the ground- but this time- I was that special girl who did it! Seriously, it's way more fun when you do it yourself. I was just kind of sitting there very wasted and it snuck up on me. I ripped some pages out of a magazine I had in my purse, wiped it off, and went into the next train where my act was completely unbeknownst to them.

Actually, Friday night was one of the first nights in a while where I forgot stuff I said and did. And you know what? It's totally refreshing. I even texted someone the letter "F" at 4am. I'm awesome!

Well kids, what's been going on in miss fink's lifeypoo anyways?
Hmmm... I'm doing some more "projects" and involving myself in the world of television a bit more lately, but I'm going to have to remain vague on that.

Oooh- so, I got the best birthday surprise ever. Who loves Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails like sooo much? Me. Ok. So he's like one celebrity I could still get childlike excitement about meeting, and I've wanted to meet him forever. And next weekend, I am able to go backstage with them and go to their afterparty and stuff. I am pumped.

I got a new roommate. She's cool.

In work related cool shit: My boss is gonna be a feature story in New York Magazine, we are going to be participating in this big porn convention in the city next weekend: The Exotic Erotic Ball. That'll be a little creepy and probably also fun and interesting. I think Tommy Lee is gonna be there. Also, my boss is going to be the first gay pornstar ever to do an instore signing special event thingy at Virgin Megastore. It'll be at the one in Union Square on June 21. I'm also attending some cool event for the HBO release of the Thinking XXX DVD on Wednesday. I'm not sure what to wear ...

My digital camera finally broke so I ordered a new one off the internet. Why did it brake? Cause lube got all over it. Why did lube get all over it? Cause I had a bottle in my purse that opened up all over and covered my camera. When did I discover it? While awkwardly eating dinner with people I didn't know that well. Yeah. Nothin's better than reaching your hand into your purse and having it come out all lubed up. Nothing. So anyways, no pictures from this weekend.

Who was the stylist on Heather Mills McCartney's naked pics! OMG mothafucka! Nothing is hotter than feathered hair and monster bush- 4 real sucka.

Holy shit that backlighting feels good.

Thanks to Devon, I was able to see this moment in time: click here. Make sure you watch this video.

Which reminds me of something I did in 5th grade. Ya see, back in the early 90s in the Roxbury Municipal school district, they hand picked weird little smart fuckers to be in this thing called the "Enrichment Program", and it only existed during 4th and 5th grades. They separate these kids from the other kids and have them do weird stuff. We put on plays that were modern adaptations of old stuff. In 5th grade, we did Pinurchio. Like Pinoccio- but it was Urkel. Seriously. And so we did this huge choreographed dance where we learned the actual Urkel. And I got to be in front cause I was the only person who could do the critical move at the end where you bend all the way backwards and then come up. I was so motherfucking proud motherfucker. I still am.
Lucky Louie is the best most well written sitcom I've seen. It's at least the first sitcom in forever that is innovative. I just watched it. BRAVO dude.

Friday, June 09, 2006

I like big kitties and I cannot lie

Today a homeless man got tasered by the cops on the street on 8th ave btwn 38th and 39th.

Later, in an unrelated incident, my coworkers surprised me with a cake and flowers. (yay)

And then, I went to a shoe store and tried on 2 pairs of shoes.
Me: (after trying on the first pair) Ew, these look weird
Shoeman: No, they look great, you look great in them. You want them.
Me: No, I don't want them.
Shoeman: You will look great in these (shows me another shoe)
Me: No, I don't like those, I want to try on the other shoe.
Shoeman: Why, you will look great in these, you want them.
Me: (trying on other shoes) I like these. They are great. I will take them.
Shoeman: You want to buy them in other colors too.
Me: No, I don't.
Shoeman: If you leave the store without the other colors you will come back wanting more.
Me: Dude, cut it out.
Shoeman: You will want them, I promise.
Me: Seriously, stop it.
Read this article about Hoboken Comedy Night. And then come to the next show, June 18.

I like Phillip Toledano's pictures, especially his "Marks" series.
One thing I really appreciate about the city is the silence in the noise. At any moment the streets can be buzzing with people, events, machines, things falling, jumping, smashing, moving. Yet at any moment you can stand still and it will feel quiet. The sunlight seems to make things especially personal. Visibility decreases as people squint their eyes. It's easier to be in your own world. The city is a million happenings at once in the same place, yet anonymity is abundant.

So many things existing all at once, yet so much order within disorder. This whole world has such a natural flow. Little bits of chaos blend in with the vastness of all other things. It makes me think that we are generally good, well behaved people. Very few "ruptures". Reminds me of something in Gray's Warriors, where he talks about "rupture" as this erosion of values, a moment when someone crosses a line- the moment someone behaves in a way they know is wrong. In his example he discusses systematic killings and rapings and how some soldiers find themselves doing these things. Anyhow, its about how a person is capable to veering out of the silent buzz of what is and ruptures, acts in a way that destroys, and creates chaos. I was just thinkin about that when I was crossing the street today.


Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Mark of the Beast

Me and my sons own a really fancy building. (thanks Stacey)

Ben is a cool dude. Ben also has lots of Rejected Jokes. Check them out. His non-audience gives him adorabilities.

Brandy found out the shocking truth about Lohan and the Pink laptops.

Sue Johanson is Canada's foremost sexual educator and counsellor, recipient of the distinguished Order of Canada. Watching her on television is like, well- hey, how does this old woman know everything about sex? Cause she's had it all crazy like and in every which way? Cooool.

Watch a clip from The Sarah Silverman Program which debuts this summer.

Come Saturday I'll be 25. For some reason this makes me feel like a loser who is losing at stuff. I'm not a little girl anymore. I want to be a little girl. Those bitches all younger than me. I want to win the race. The race to be awesome first.

Hey you little girls. Yes. You. You suck. I take your string instruments and talk you into eating disorders. Stop being so fat. I am a winner.

A few weeks ago, the evil ex who has been the subject of discussion on this website, disappeared from my life completely. I had this thing in my mind about seeing him one last time before he moved out of the state. He seemed to want to as well. We had kept in touch all friendly-like over the past few years. And then he pretty much ditched me. I actually stared at the back of his head as we ended up at the same party. But I knew he had no intention of seeing me, so I gave up and watched him walk away. Complicated, right? But not so complicated.

I was mad at first when he initially cancelled our plans to hang out last minute. But really, the fact that he didn't care at all- it just put things into perspective. Why be so sentimental? I mean, yeah, at one point we meant everything to each other, but that's not now. And we really play no role in each other's current realities- so why hang onto the sentiment of a past connection?

But I get this way about friendships as well as old loves. It often makes me sad to think of who people once were in my life, and how time has changed what once was. And things change so quickly. Even much of my Hoboken crew who occupied much of the last year- well- we've all gotten so busy lately. I've been hanging out with other friends.

People are no longer fixtures but shadows. Shit moves onward. I am never sure how sentimental I should be. I feel stupid for caring so much. I never know how valuable one human connection is over another. Sometimes I can't tell if it's better to embrace someone or push them away.

But I'll tell you this much- there's nothing I like less than someone who isn't enthusiastic about spending time with me. If I can sense an inkling of someone having an unpleasant time in my presence, it makes me sick. I get paranoid. I either want to entertain, leave, or freak the fuck out. Often times I'll just go for my standard "say something disgusting that's going to embarrass you". It doesn't work. But hey, at least I score, you fat fucks.

Sunday, June 04, 2006


I spent most of the weekend chillin with my homie Justin, who recently moved back to the east coast. We stayed in Hoboken Friday night, but on Saturday we discovered an amazing Mexican place in the east village. Good prices and incredible food:

Later we drank PBRs at Doc Hollidays and wound up befriending a dude who then suggested that we see his friend's band at The Sidewalk Cafe. The band was AMAZING. The 76 Trombones. They played an accoustic set and they brought all these crazy ass string instruments- mandolin, banjo, a big ass bass. It reminded me a little of Sufjan Stevens. A little folk/country/emo. It was some of the most enjoyable live music I've experienced. I loved it- yay!

Best website I've seen for bags: Crumpler Bags You can even trade beer for their bags.

They might be making an Atlas Shrugged movie! Holy crap. Brad Pitt would be a perfect John Galt, but Jolie as Dagny Taggart? I think they need someone smarter and harsher. Like Jodie Foster, Tilda Swinton or something like that.

This website lists classes. One is a fellatio seminar. You have to pay 50 bucks for it. You have to PAY 50 bucks to learn how to give a better blowjob. There's also a class where you can pay 30 bucks to learn how to flirt. If you have to take this class, you do not deserve to flirt. Here's some free tips: no teeth, use your mouth. As for the flirting- it always works to dribble a little vomit out the side of your mouth. It lets him know you are good to go.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Let's Party!

(pic via queerty)
Cassette Tapes for Belt Buckles! Yee Haw.

Trucker Fags in Denial: The title of a new comic book. Must check it out. (thanks Wolkin, for the recommendation). The newest comic I am reading is 100 Bullets. There was a newscaster in the comic book store yesterday commenting on how the new Batwoman is gonna be a lipstick lez. Amazing that that news was bigger than blogs.

A restaurant in Hollywood actually cared about Fred Savage showing up at their establishment.

Check out this awesome interview of Xmen actresses, where Halle Berry and Anna Paquin demonstrate how they have nothing in common. Favorite exerpts include:
PAQUIN: I managed to survive three action comic-book movies and pretty much almost not to see one single bit of real violence or, you know, action sequences.

BERRY: You'll have to do a Rogue spinoff, just so you can do something.

PAQUIN: Dude, I don't know if anybody wants to see that, actually.

BERRY: Well, you got a great love story. I didn't have that. I got no action and no story. I had nothing.

PAQUIN: I had some gloves.

BERRY: It's a woman's right to change her hair, and I think it's not by mistake that all the women have different hair, like, every time.

PAQUIN: I don't.

BERRY: That's what women do. We change our hair.

PAQUIN: I don't.

Q: You don't what?

PAQUIN: I don't have different hair. I'm never different.
Complainey celebs are the bomb.