Thursday, July 13, 2006
After a series of joking emails with an industry competitor, I received a priority overnight package this morning. Inside was a very large dildo.
Yesterday my boss showed me the most disgusting video I have ever seen. Every now and then, I will think I have forgotten about it, and then I remember it, and then I feel like I have witnessed some awful apocalyptic thing, like "Preacher"s demon/angel, or a Starbucks across from a Starbucks. It was a video of a man placing his entire head inside a lady's downtheres. Sometimes I hate the internet.
In an email from someone who wanted us to advertise with them- "I promise to work you guys the BEST deal that I can just because it would personally be fulfilling to have you on board."
Personally be fulfilling, eh? Well then. I would love to fill you with that joy.
There's a free Okkervil River concert tonight in Battery Park.
By the way, that Pirates movie is awful. I saw it last night and it was the biggest piece of Disney marketing crap. Not surprising cause it's Disney, but man- the laziest writing and directing! And the only cool thing about it was the makeup special effects with these sea creatures. But one character was a total ripoff of John Carpenter's design for Predator. A lot of other movie goers liked it though, so what do I know ... Oh, and Orlando and Keira should've gotten naked and had sex. That would've improved the film.
In my dream last night, Federico Fellini called me up and asked me to star in his next film which was written by Vincent Gallo. Fellini and Gallo were in my childhood bedroom with some other people casting for the movie. He was casting the male lead, and they wanted to see if I would have chemistry with him. He was really hot and looked kind of like that Smith guy from Sex in the City, which isn't my type but he had really soft skin so it was cool. And so we started making out and then we climbed on top of my dressers and got naked and were about to do it, and then I screamed at him "not without a condom" and he was like "I have one on!" and I felt for it and it was there but it had a knot in it and felt weird. But we did it anyway and for some reason no one else could see us. And then my alarm clock went off and I awoke to the memory of the man's head inside that lady.