Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Reaching into my soul again. Not! I get to talking about fucking pancakes- can you believe it! Read on for the part when I namedrop pancakes.

Ok, I'm getting really impersonal here, but I'd like to publicly announce that if you're a person that's emailed me, and I haven't emailed you back, I'm like majorly backed up on all that. There's stars and flags all over the place, and I feel a bit ashamed of my dirty dirty inbox.

Speaking of dirty. Here's some free and unique dirty. You should watch that alone.

There's another Hoboken Comedy Night this Sunday at 8pm. And on Monday I'll be doing some Brooklyn.

There's also a lot going on at work. You can read about some of that here.

And speaking of work and the seemingly annoyed comments from "E", yeah I, as Heather Reznor, was boldfaced in Page Six, but I dunno. It wasn't really about me. Here's what it said:
A HIGH NOTE
METROPOLITAN Opera fans who like porn should keep their eyes glued on the Lincoln Center fountain this fall. That's where adult film director Michael Lucas hopes to have Savanna Samson re-enact the famed Anita Ekberg fountain scene for the porn remake of Federico Fellini's classic "La Dolce Vita." "She'll be outfitted in a stunning white dress, which will get wet and may become see-through - although since it's in public, we'll work with what is legal," said Lucas' flack Heather Reznor.

I guess I get a good amount of coverage as Heather Reznor. You can check more of that out here.

By the way, I have no idea who "E" is. Who are you? Do I know you? Is "E" short for Eric Bana? Are you Eric Bana? Oh my god you probably are! I LOVED you in the film Rain Man- you totally made autism sexy- OMG!

But what you should really learn about is Kitlers and the people that hate them.

I'm gonna be a Mandate girl! So excited. Mandate of Heaven is having a fashion show this fall and I get to strut on the runway. I even measured myself. I don't normally measure myself and I have to say I liked it. Not because of what the numbers were but because I like the way the measuring tape felt upon my body. It was the first time I had been touched by tape of any kind in a long time and I have to say I missed it.

You see, when I was little I was raised by a variety of tapes and tape related products. Back in the day, my parents were held hostage by an vengeful farmer who envied my parents' amateur farming abilities when he had such a difficult time growing full and delicious crops. So when I was a baby, as the farmer took my family and me into his evil hay truck, I bounced out of the side of the truck into another truck that belonged to the 3M corporation. I was among their stock of double sided tapes and at night in the warehouse the tapes came to life and we sang and danced and they made me pancake dinners.


A picture from my last visit with my 'foster parents' circa 1999. Don't question this.

Oh enough sentimentality for one night! Needless to say I miss the good old days when life was simple and all I needed was some adhesive and flapjacks to feel complete. But don't we all! Yeah.

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