Friday, September 15, 2006

OH MAN, It hurts like a mothafuckin suckapunch to my chicknutz (yeah I got chicknutz cause I am a mad special lady) to be so busy like this. So busy that I neglect all of the things that I enjoy- like my comedy, my blog, my other blog, my social life, my "projects" that are "up in the air" that I "need to be working on", I mean shiiit I don't even have time to give proper myspace messages or answer my gchats with the flair that I'd prefer.

And I took down yesterday's blog because I am honestly not entirely ok with revealing my own sadness. I'll reveal embarrassing, intimate stuff, sure- but I guess I've got issues with putting negativity out there. It bothers me. When I get a moment I'll comb through what I wrote and put some of it back up.

On a positive note, part of me felt like it was dying- not being able to focus on my comedy ambitions cause I am so consumed by my job in the skin biz ... and I was so severely afflicted by these frustrations that I was seriously ready to walk out on all of it. But in the end, I realize that it's just not time. After a heart to heart with the boss, who I've been on some rocky ground with no doubt due to all the crazy shit that's going on- I got a new sense of how valuable I was to him, and really, in the end I don't want to leave yet. Yeah, part of me is so not cool with the fact that this job has taken over so much of my time since it's interfering with my ambitions. But I'm here, and I've got to deal with it and continue to make the most of it. So I let out a deep breath as I continue to not return phone calls and let opportunities pass me by left and right, and I continue to be half-assed about things I really really don't want to be half-assed about.

And when I have a chance, I'll pick up my pieces and get my own shit together again. (Oh, and I do have some great pictures to update y'all with. They shall arrive soon enough.)

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