Tuesday, October 24, 2006


ha ha! what up Cold Shoulders, ever think of wearing a sweater jacket you freakin tool!

I was just wondering how the fellas feel about the idea of doing this one armed woman. She's a very attractive and athletic young lady. Seems pretty cool with the surfing and all. But I wonder how awkward it is to do a lady with only one arm. I do think it's kind of hot that it was bitten off by a shark. As far as one-armedness goes, shark bites are fantastic explanation for it, as opposed to other possibilities like an angry man with a rare disease that makes his urine burn human flesh urinated on your arm and ran away.

One thing I hate at work is when I come across gay erotic literature written in some magazines I clip articles from or read to keep on the up n up of the industry. I actually am not a big fan of erotic literature. Erotic stuff is so serious but they are talking about penises and vaginas!!!! What the F! I just want to giggle at it. I giggle at penises all day long, how can these people take themselves seriously? Seriousness is the worst. Anyhow, here's a quote from one of these things: "I kissed him sloppy and I kissed him wet- I did it until his face was a glistening as his ass." GLISTENING ASS? No thank you.

Ok, sooo the weekend ... Well I think I have some fun pictures but I left my camera in a place that it does not belong. So expect a delay in such photos bring brought to ya mothafuckin face. Oh dear I'm sorry for the obscene words, I don't know where they came from. Anyhow. Saturday was great because Dara, one of the best people that there ever was, came and visited, and Brandy had another impromptu party and I loved it a lot. All of my favorite folks made appearances. And Hoboken Comedy Night was fantastic. These high school folks performed and I told them a story about the first time I touched a wiener. They liked that story.

So I woke up feeling good about the weekend at first on Monday but quickly got majorly bummed. Random crappy things kept happening and it was all gloomy out side. I was so irritable and moody I kept thinking "I must have my period" cause everything was pissing me off, but every time I checked to see if it was there, it wasn't. Later that night I filmed a "sex scene" for a comedy video with some homies and it made me giggle so much I think I felt better. And I never really realized or thought about it before, but I have a giggling problem when it comes to boy-girl touching. I'm often a really hard person to try and kiss cause I get sooo awkward and think it's so funny to see that look in a person's face change to "ok it's business time and I am going to touch you and caress you now" when they go in for the kill. Don't get me wrong, I adore sex and naked time, but it's just sooo silly to me! All the parts look so funny. I guess you'd think a girl with a job like mine wouldn't think about it this way but I do. It makes me laugh so much and I often can't look guys in the eyes I am having relations with cause if I do I'll laugh, and I wouldn't want them to think I am mocking them. Especially not when they are so nice as to be "giving it to me" and "giving it to me good". I really quite appreciate the gestures. Anyhow. I know I don't giggle as much when I know a guy better or have gotten past initial hookups ... but last night was a learning night. Cause as I pretended to engage in sexytime I quite unprofessionally laughed my ass off almost the entire time.

Final thought:

Oh god I've been lusting after freshly steamed spinach. I love it and miss it so much. THERE IS NO GOD. First you curse us with the pain of existence and now this! Creator, I spite you! I'm ripping out my cells in protest and squishing my mitochondria into my ribosomes to show you how you've wronged me. (gods hate that)

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