Sunday, November 05, 2006

Drank Drinks. Beered my sweater pants.

Ok, so I was really looking forward to this party Friday night. My friend sent me an invite and told me she went last year and it's the funnest ever. (Thank you Shayna.) So I sent it to some of my homies and we RSVPd and I was all set n looking forward to going AND THEN Gawker went and posted it on their site. So I thought: Boooo! It's ruined and it'll be packed and we won't be able to get in anymore!

But we did get in. We were all on the list accept for one, and so I told her to tell the guy her name firmly with confidence- and he ended up crossing someone else's name off the list- yay! So we all got in, and once inside, we learned that it was OPEN BAR. OPEN FUCKING BAR. So there I am drinking shots and beers for free - and there's snacks. And all my homies are chillin wit me! Anyhow, we have our fun there for a little while and decide to go to another great party we know about- which is on the same block! What lovely convenience!!! At this point I am just so pleased with how all my needs are being met by the night I don't think it can get better. But it does. The next bar, Cake Shop, wasn't letting anyone in not on the list- but Adam hooked my whole group of people up- and this party had better music and free Sparks! I was so drunk in a good way.

In fact, I've come to learn something. When I get to a certain point where I know I am drunk- and it really doesn't take much - I start saying and doing absurd and ridiculous things. Pretty much every morning I wake up after one of these nights, someone will tell me, or I will remember something that will make me say "I did what?! Why?". Morning me is really pretty entertained by the antics of drunk me (how's that for narcissism, eh?). I guess it sounds like it should be bad to wake up to absurdity, but I think it's pretty harmless. I'm not drinking insane quanties and I'm rarely puking. BUT when I drink I instantly start becoming a little Animal. Like this Animal:


So back to the weekend- this behavior started happening- and I started yelling gross/silly stuff at people and laughing really hard at it. And this one guy didn't understand that I was joking around and he should move along and not talk to me. So he didn't end the conversation or get that I wasn't being confrontational, I was just saying random silly nonsense. So he wouldn't go away and I just yelled "Goddamn it why can't this conversation end now!" And he was like "You're a bitch and blah blah boring boring words" And I was like, "Seriously, If you don't stop talking to me I am going to punch you in the face!" And he was like "I'm gonna punch you in the face." And then I was like "GREAT! Punch me in the face if that's what it takes to make you stop talking to me!" And that was when Adam grabbed me and escorted me away from the situation. Great thinking Adam! Walking away is a simple and effective solution that didn't occur to me. I should use that more often. If you are talking to someone you don't wanna be- don't say anything- just abort and leave!

So I woke up Saturday thinking about that absurd moment, and then this morning I was reminded that I kept pouring beer on my crotch and thinking it was funny. Brandy thought it was a dumb idea cause that would make my crotch cold when I went outside. Fortunately I was wearing these child size sweater pants and the crotch was located below my actual crotch cause they were too small and so I didn't feel it. HA. I beat the system.

Anyhoo, I had a good weekend- thank you friends and alcohol! I'm pretty happy about it. Often times nights can turn out crappy, but not this weekend, no sir. I guess I'll thank god and Jesus for all the nice fun I had. Thanks dudes! I coulda just sat around farting on my sock drawer but you came out and made me some nice parties. Hugz!

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