Tuesday, December 05, 2006

God Bless Thy Lower East Side Cowboy of Fury and Might

So here I am sitting in Cake Shop, overwhelmed by the hipness I'm immersed in and surprised at how instantly I've acclimated to my new living situation ... well not acclimated, I just love the lovely tone of that word and wanted to use it. I know the truth is that I'm simply surprised to be here. I've never been one to have my laptop in a coffee shop. I am not a coffee drinker and I am too lazy to get out of bed when I don't have to. My best writing takes place while in dirty scrubby old tshirts smelling of my night sweat while my face glistens of morning grease and is accented by the red ornaments of popped blemishes from the night before. And VH1 talking heads make fun of things I wasn't aware people cared about in the background. And the passing thought ... I could be one of those fucking people ... grrr ... scrolls through my mind like the mundane marquee script that must be shared by a thousand heads ...

But that's not now. Now I'm enjoying the fairytale. My free independent adventurous 20 something living on my own in New York fairytale, the picture that wasn't painted nearly complete by the NewYorkNearness of Hoboken, quaint, sweet Hoboken unfortunately lacks one very important quality: it is not Manhattan.

And so I feel extremely happy. I don't just like the Lower East Side, I idolize it like a celebrity, in that it embodies so many ideals for me- ideal bars, ideal food to eat, ideal people to be surrounded by, ideal outfits to see on the people in the street, because I am surrounded by people who know things because they care to know because they have not resigned to the anonymity of suburban life where no one sees what you wear or eat or drink really ... and New York City is for wild bursts of fun like weekends ... and now I have weekend every day.

New York isn't new to me. I've been having my fun here for years, but it's really quite another thing to be in the center of the place that I love more than anywhere. I love it more than New Jersey and more than Holland and I love New Jersey and I love Holland.

I had a very bad day. Yesterday and today. But I have a really wonderful life. And I am extremely grateful for it. And I will show my gratitude the only way I know how- by working hard to be certain that I've earned it and doing my best. I think that will do the trick.

There's certain people who think that I am not a good person. That hurts because I am trying. But the sort of person who would tell you that you are bad is bad for doing that.

But let's not get off topic here.

Actually, I need to stop. I think this coffee shop is

WOAH, I was about to make fun of this coffee shop, but just now an angry man in a cowboy hat just proclaimed "This fucking place sucks my ass", stormed out, and pushed the door really hard- which is hilarious because, well- he was "showing his badness" via door pushing, OMG fun! He just came in, went downstairs, and I heard a loud thing, and he came back up and pushed the door really hard twice this time!

Man, everything is gonna be alright.

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