Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Listen up MCann Erickson, Saatchi & Saatchi , Ogilvy, et all

I read this article.

You D-Bags got your gold right here. Just look at my non-celebrity sensibility in this Brooklyn Lager ad shot by Mr Doug Jaeger.

Untapped. Soo heinously untapped.

For example, let's take a company like Subway. Put me in a room with that sandwich and I will not only do a fun and lovable sandwich dance, I will also *promise* to fist all the meats, cheeses, vegatable toppings, and meatballs in the meatball parm area, and then scream a lot- it will be impressive and I promise a spike in sales or I will take the life of a living legend, someone like John Cougar Mellencamp.

PS- AWESOME DUDE ALERT (favorite part- students huddled in corner)

Monday, January 29, 2007

Fancy Pants are comin to town


Yo so NY fashion week this year is called Mercedes Benz fashion week. This sounds kickass cause it reminds me of License to Drive with that chick Mercedes. She was really cool but she totally barfed on herself. Not cool- fashion don't!
Mercedes Benz fashion week does not remind me of the famous cars because I find cars somewhat uninteresting unless they fly or let me drive them. Or if I'm in the back seat slammin on some sweet dudes- know what I mean! Yeah! High five!



Meow.

Super talented and mega hot chick needs your help!

I met Paige while doing Mandate of Heaven's fashion show (see Elle Magazine Jan '07). Her striking features certainly make her stand out, and when I finally checked out her music, I realized her music is awesome too! She absolutely rocks. There's no good reason that she's not famous and super successful already. It must be "the man" that is getting in the way. Order her cd, get good music and help a brother out ...
Click here to hear her songs.


From Paige:
I have been doing this for a while but I used to only sell music on my tours. I need help from my friends selling the EPs.. getting the word out about them and racking up the numbers as high as possible for multiple reasons.

I am selling the first EP in the series for only $7 + shipping fees which come out to about 3-5 bucks.. and I am asking my friends to help me get anywhere from 10 people or more to buy one. .. as you know the more you sell the easier it is to get a deal or a distribution deal... your help would mean the world to me... also have to rack up my traffic on my page so every little bit helps!

I'm selling the cds through paypal so people order them through this email : paigewoodmusic@gmail.com , I send them an invoice and I ship them to them. It's super easy and super cheap so hopefully I'll get in more orders because I need them in a HUGE way!

Paige xx

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Friday, January 26, 2007

we're happy!

sexytime is tonight sexytime is tonight



One thing I do not like about going corporate is the public bathroom. When I was a young girl I used to not even be able to pee when I knew someone could hear me. I was too terrified and nervous to begin my impending stream which would undoubtedly echo through the porcelain cave below. I used to date this boy in high school who had a bathroom near the room we hung out in and I knew you could hear the peeing in there. I would always try to go pee and always fail. I would end up going home in the wee hours with all this built up having-to-pee and it sucked. As I've grown into an adult woman, I have learned to get over it. But making poopy is a whole nother thing. However I have noticed a loophole in the I make poop, it makes plop sound scenario. We have toilet seat covers (free! another of the many perks of going corporate) and when I make a poopy while the cover is on the seat, the center circle of the cover sort of hangs in the toilet. If you target that peice of paper, the poo goes there first, thereby diminishing the quick/sometimes violent plopping action, thereby diminishing- sometimes eliminating- the terrible plop noise that makes all the ladies in the bathroom think "hey someone is pooping in there" and the inevitable avoidance of eyecontact received by miss-has-to-poop-right-now (being me at this moment).

So that was Heather's tip of the day. Your welcome, friend!

Moving on, I had an audition with Best Week Ever today. It went alright but I have issues with being a generally awkward person so I feel especially awkward when I have to talk to a camera or a man who is sitting behind that camera. But I managed to have some fun and make them laugh. I don't think I wowed anyone but I think I did alright. We'll see ... ya never know. I like TV shows though so it would please me to be on one such as this.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

boy oh boy

it sure is nice to live in a world of emails. Just think of all the loud annoying phone calls we'd have to hear? Right now it's kinda peaceful. I can think. But all of us are sending and recieving lots of communication from emails and texts. What if those were audible words? ICK. I prefer my audible words coming from stages and tv boxes where all the best talking is showcased.

By the way, let me just tell you how much I enjoy the benefits of going corporate. Literally the benefits. I am so incredibly insured. My spouse and dependents have been really hooked up. I feel like the dog of a celebrity, pampered, needs attended to. It's nice. I also like that there's marble below my feet in the elevator. That's the way I prefer things to be.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

family fun and excitement

Sexytime website updated with info, go there, buy your tickets now- do it do it go go gogogogoogogogoogo now.


We wanna see Sexytime! We are gonna bring this lil stuffed puppy with us now aren't we? Yes. Yes we are.

I'm into CNN today:
- Hooray! A child born of a pure virgin! This gives me hope that I can one day have my own komodo baby without having to give up my sacred virginity.

- DEVASTATION- Ruined Sponges! NOOOOOOO - the damage is irreversable.

"Just wanted you to know that your article on microwaving sponges and scrubbers aroused my interest. However, when I put my sponge/scrubber into the microwave, it caught fire, smoked up the house, ruined my microwave, and pissed me off," one correspondent wrote in an e-mail to Reuters.


- Fuck yeah Tyra

Last night I saw a screening of Fired!. At first we were loving it. There were fun, cute stories about being Fired, etc. The highlight was this nurse lady in the beginning talking about it. Then the creator, Annabelle Gurwitch, made a terrible mistake transforming this comedy into something that had a message - almost trying to transition from Aristocrats to An Inconvenient Truth. To have a movie go from sharp, quick, and funny, to watching preachy people go on and on about boring, mundane, merely midly amusing crap was a total wrong move. And this rich over privileged woman made this whole movie, which also has a companion book and live show, because she was fired from one stupid acting job. That would be so fine if she didn't take it seriously, because there is nothing serious about that. She's not living paycheck to paycheck, she's married to a rich and powerful man, and she gets plenty of acting work. She quickly went from charming to making me hate her and wish the movie would stop. At the end she answered some question that addressed the seriousness of firing for a person who can transform that into a new opportunity vs someone who is poor and has a family for whom firing would be devastating. She actually tried to say that she can empathize with that. No way am I buying this, preachy mc preacher pants! Anyhoo, it irritated me and my friend. Don't bother with this movie- although the comedians' stories in the movie are enteraining and enjoyable.

Things other people say


Today's blog has been brought to you by happy pancake.

These days I'm too busy to say things myself, so I wanted to highlight some things that other people said:
Rainn Wilson says: "Hello everyone on the Internet and in the world of entertainment. It's me, Rainn Wilson, international superstar (hugest of all in Malaysia) promoting myself as un-official "spokesman of a generation" and gynecologist to the stars (Whoopi Goldberg, Katie Couric). I'm here because of the greatest movie ever made, The Last Mimzy, in which I star. I am actually raped by Dakota Fanning in this film."

CNN.com: coins new buzzword with "child rape" this and "child rape" that.

BOOOSH: "Madam Speaker"

Rachel Ray: Brad's a "pussy boy." Angelina is a "skanky, backdoor c**t."

JahFurry: Well, let's just say when I interviewed Zappa, he and I went into a tangent on how different ways of saying the word "doody" can elicit different kinds of laughs. We did a 30-second doody-jam. Gossshhh . . . where are those TAPES?!

Cameron Casanova: i had a lot of girls. I cheeted them all...

Monday, January 22, 2007

Sexytime is this Friday!



Check out our bangin ass slamin lineup.
It's posted at SexytimeComedy.com !!!

PS- Ukulele plus Outkast.

And a link you will surely not regret clicking.
TONIGHT
SMUT
Featuring the girls of dirtyspoke
Monday January 22nd
8pm
Galapogos
70 N. 6th Street - Williamsburg, Brooklyn
(L train to Bedford Ave., 1st stop in Bklyn)

Will update blog with things that are not boring later on ...

In the meantime, I really want to put Year Round Tomato on my fire escape, and I proclaim that anyone who brings year round tomato to me, wins my heart*, especially as we enter the Valentine season. (*does not guarantee that heart will not be black and chalky, possibly chunky)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

compliments from accomplished people feel nice

After the rap battle yesterday, Jimmy Fallon came to me, took my hand, bowed a little and said - "Heather Fink you were brilliant! You made me and my sister laugh so hard!" and it made me feel reallllly nice inside! YAY

Friday, January 19, 2007

TONIGHT

The BEATdown: a comedy rap battle
Mo Pitkins (34 Ave A, between 2nd & 3rd Aves)
January 19th, 2006
11:00pm, $10

Shockwave (Freestyle Love Supreme) and Eliza Skinner (I Eat Pandas, Stickerbook) host 5 of New York City's finest comedians and one audience volunteer in "The BEATdown", a hilarious freestyle face off decided by a crowd of rowdy judges (you).

This month's contenders are :
Heather Fink (Sexytime)
Jakob Lodwick (College Humor)
Luke Meginsky (Manhattan Comedy Collective)
Billy Scafuri (Harvard Sailing Team)
Victor Varnado (Late Night with Conan O'Brien)
and an audience volunteer.

Expect slamming personal insults, brutal irony, solid beatboxing, and sympathy for the often underestimated audience volunteer.

Check http://myspace.com/nycbeatdown for more information.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

first day very good!



Can't wait to tell you more!

Also, I made rezzies to see my hero Sarah Silverman at Carolines, and signed up at superdeluxe.com - love it.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Blah blah blah Iraq War

Some thoughts before I go to bed inspired by what Madeline Albright said today- essentially that the Iraq War is the worst act of foreign policy ever and way worse than Vietnam. She said it better. A quote I did find was this:
Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright stepped into the debate with a sharp criticism of Mr. Bush. "The president's speech last Wednesday night should be viewed less as a statement of policy than as a prayer. It was not about reality. It was about hope. But hope is not a strategy," she said.

If only these dickheads said something with this degree of balls sooner. It's like the world stood idly by watching as an obvious incompetent crashed the shiny red car that is America over a cliff so they could stand there pointing at the wreckage and all the bloodied passengers inside that were ruined in the process. I truly feel that both sides of our government let this happen.

Back when I was in college, MTV had a Global Forum with Colin Powell where students were pre screened to ask him a question live around the world. The audition to get on the show was to ask your question on camera ahead of time. I was selected out of hundreds which was pretty cool. Just as John Norris was about to cut to me with my question, something happened with the global feed and the question "What kind of car do you drive?" was asked instead. This happened before the Iraq War was declared and it was simply a war on terror in Afghanistan. Here is the question that was never asked:

We didn't win the Vietnam War and we didn't exactly win Desert Storm either, as Saddam Hussein is still out there posing a potential threat to national security. When will the war in Afghanistan be over and what is the eventual realistic goal?


If only I got to ask that on live television. I still wish I could have heard his answer.

Time to pick out my first day of school outfit!

My most favorite first day outfit occured some time around 3rd grade. The shoes and backpack matched my outfit. It was purchased at the only store smart enough to integrate slides and a hang out area into the shopping experience: The Children's Place. Those were the days.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

BIG CHANGES EQUAL BIG FUN


Yikes. Tomorrow is my last day at Lucas Entertainment. No more knowing exactly what to do everyday- I start fresh and new and I'm going to have to bring it! Man. That's kind of all I'm thinking about. I like to conquer and kick ass so that's the plan with my new job. Just a little daunting to think I've got a whole new list of expectations from myself that I've got to fulfill. Cause when I let myself down I get really depressed. FUN FACT!

Just started going to the gym regularly and I love it. It was totally not expensive and there's classes and I started doing the yoga ones plus some cardio and light weight training. I tried taking cardio kickboxing after yoga today but the lady made me laugh and fart at the same time so I decided I had to leave. Honestly I had been farting all through yoga class as well. Don't worry people, none of them were audible and I didn't really smell anything. Just every time I was downward dog I was all- dammit vulnerable position! You have to clench your cheeks to avoid any sounds. Anyhow the cardio kickboxing was hilarious cause the lady was super hyper and we were listening to dance hits of the 90s which are also hilarious. She kept bouncing around yelling "punch punch punch" and it was sooo funny looking- the patheticness and non-toughness of all the ladies. Aside from all that tomfoolery, I feel fantastic and am happy I'm doing this again.

I found two things I liked on Craigslist:
You should not have f'ed with my kid. and
this.

Rant and Rave
My stupid fucking apartment building is starting to piss me off. I love this apartment and have been spending more time here, cooking meals, watching my kick ass cable, doin stuff. BUT there's this battle in the building with the Chinese tenants, some of whom admitted they pay something like 500 bucks a month for their 2 bedroom apartment, who say the landlord doesn't treat them right. Cool, stand up for yourselves, that's great. But their complaints aren't even accurate. They complain that our building doesn't get heat or hot water, but it's fine. Sure, maybe "just mine is on" but this is a big old building and everything is connected. A lot of these folks hang out all day in the stairwells smoking and hawking lugies- especially this one old dude. What pisses me off most is that these fuckers come and knock on our door almost every day. I ignore it. I don't want to piss of my new landlord and I don't want to make the people I have to share the building with hate me. Plus I hate having conversations that go on too long and I hate when people I don't care about take my damn time. The truth is I don't support them. They live in one of the most amazing parts of the world in a nice building and they are paying nothing for it. The landlord is unresponsive? Be thankful you're able to hold onto that kickass rent and just make some freaking improvements yourself. You want me to sign something that says fight gentrification? ME? I AM A WHITE PERSON. YOU WANT ME TO FIGHT THAT? I am the person paying more money to live in the same space. Maybe that has something to do with the landlord being more responsive. I'm sure the landlord would love them just as much as me, ol whitey mc whiteness, if they paid something closer to what the space was worth. It's the LOWER EAST SIDE. They've already lost their battle. It happens- places clean up and get nicer. People with less money move to the suburbs or where ever they can afford. People commute. Yeah, I like Chinatown, I like authenticity and a sense of history in a city- but chill the fuck out- you pay nothing to live in a really nice place and your grievances are nothing close to any real hardship. AND STOP ASKING ME TO GO TO YOUR WEEKLY RALLIES AGAINST FOLKS LIKE ME- I have a job and shit to do. Grrr.

-------------------
Globes- Liked the humor, Love the sexy Sascha BC and all his awesomeness. Enjoyed the Jeremy Irons speech. Warren Beaty thing made me want to rent Reds. Mirren's performance in The Queen wasn't nearly as stunning as Penelope Cruz in Volver. Cruz deserves the damn Oscar! Not fair. I don't think Ugly Betty is all that great. It's entertaining but not terribly intelligent or clever. People always get all excited when somewhat fat people are celebrated for their inner beauty. It's like we are all holding hands and watching Oprah together. I for one have met a lot of slightly overweight people who are total assholes.

Monday, January 15, 2007

On Sexyness


These nice people asked me and Brandy to be lingerie models in their fashion show, Hot and Nasty. The other people that are doing it are comedians and writers who happen to also be sexy. It's not run by seedy dudes who want to see ladies in their undergarments. Rather, it seems to be run by a bunch of cool chicks and the outfits are fun, cool, and vintage. Everything about it tells me that should be something cool and fun for me to be a part of, but the truth is, I'm terrified of the idea of doing it, I even hate the idea. Thing is, I let my ex boyfriend take artful nude pics of me- which he did, and they were not-pornish enough that he submitted them for a college photo project (mostly closeups of indiscernable parts, and one kickass ass pic). And I am totally open to the idea of having an accomplished artist paint or photograph me. I guess in that way I'm most curious what an artist would see. As a subject I'd feel a part of the art in some way and I find that totally interesting.

But I don't like the idea of being sexy in front of people whatsoever. Actually I wouldn't feel comfortable posing for a pic that was sexy as opposed to "beautiful" or even ugly. I wouldn't mind them making me ugly. I kind of like the process of getting ugly- on stage or otherwise.

Just that idea of being in front of someone, being sexy, ugh it gives me nausea. Like an absolute grounding fear/hatred. I think maybe I hate more than others to be catcalled. I feel like when someone looks at me and says shit, it takes away my power, because I can't control or stop who is looking at me. I want to punch them in their faces and rip their thoughts out of their brains. I want to jump inside their cerebral cortexes, find the image of a sexualized me in there, grab it, and rip it to shreds. I don't like being looked at like that.

Unless it's in my bedroom, in front of some dude I am getting it on with. I like wearing outfits and all of that. I do like feeling sexy, just in front of that particular person I have selected.

Sounds weird coming from a host of "sexytime" right? I guess to me that's about being unintentionally sexy. I was once in this comedy workshop and the guy was like "never wear skirts on stage" and saying things about how people wouldn't be able to listen to the words I am saying because they are going to be thinking about fucking me. I think he was just being a weird perv because I think I can look as cute as I fucking want and look my best on stage and all of that AND talk about sexual topics if they're interesting to me. So fuck that guy. That's a lot of what Sexytime is about for me.

Upon consideration, I'm quite certain it's a power and control issue. I consent to a sexual partner having lustful thoughts about me. I give him my T and A happily and willingly. But any random fucker on the street can't have that goddamn it! It makes me so MAD to be glared at! These titties are MINE.

In conclusion I guess I can't be in their show. Though I really adore vintage lingerie, that shit is so hot! Unless I can hand select who sees me and I get to place them before me as I choose, it's not gonna happen. Seeing as it's a show/party ... NO SOUP FOR YOU.

I'm going to attend though. Sounds pretty cool.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Childhood sentimentality list

Below you will find a quickly thrown together list that is non comprehensive but nonetheless applicable.

Movies that I never put on my list of favorite movies but I really really love them:
- Supergirl
- Pretty Woman
- Back to School
- Ghostbusters
- The Legend of Billy Jean

Music that I most loved on my cassette tapes in the 80s:
- Olivia Newton John
- Billy Joel
- George Michael


Last night I shared an 80 dollar steak at Frankie and Johnny's. It was so fucking awesome. And then I saw Pan's Labia-rinth (ha! JK it was the Guillermo Del Toro movie with the labyrinth in it). That's one hell of a damn movie. I thought it was gonna be all Lord of the Rings fantasy land but it's largely involved in Franco's reign during the world war. There's definite fantasy and magic, but it spends a lot of time in a hyper-grotesque real world. There's a lot of gore here which normally bothers me, but it didn't bother me here. Dunno why. Maybe the wine. But I really wasn't as bad as say, that TV program "Dexter" which I just started watching. The lady characters and the little girl are awesome and kick ass. Seeing such well developed female roles reminds you how rarely we are shown the world through the eyes of ladies and especially little girls. I recommend the movie and that fucking steak.

- This article about Yoko bothered me. First to learn that Yoko was raped in 'nam and now this asshole is using that fact as part of a bribe is totally fucked up.

Ok, peace out pretty ladies.

If you're into this kinda thing

Emergency Rally to Stop Escalation in Iraq
Where: Times Square Recruiting Station - Broadway between 43rd & 44th St (in New York)
When: Thursday, Jan 11 2007, 6:00 PM

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

From the window!

To the wall!
All these bitches crawl!
All these skeet skeet skeet skeet ....
Yay! Yay for all of us!





Hey dawgs, peep dis ->


found on random corner of internet:
This guy on the internet hates the sims and some other things and that's kinda funny.

I got these new sheets made of birchtrees. Really. REALLY. And they are really so soft and I was in there, in my bed I mean. I mean last night and this morning. And it was really great spending time in there. It made me feel really nice and encased/enveloped in a soft and gentle touch. If only hugs were made of fabric! You know what I mean? Where's all the fellahs at, you know what I am talkin about - DON'T you, fellas? Heh? Well, to be honest this wasn't too far from fabric hugs. I also like sperms. AKA liquid hugs. Ew!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Face Time payed attention to us today and yesterday

http://thefacetime.blogspot.com/
Thank you Cash Money.

also, look what carlen did in blogosphere
If you go on our myspace you can also see a quick, low quality clip from the show.

iphone

me: oh my god did you hear about the iphone?
i am so turned on right now

Jake: yeah it looks insane

me: i wish i could be steve jobs speech writer
"It's got the processing horsepower to do the kinds of things we like to do."
love that

Jake: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: you like it too?

Jake: i love it

me: I want to say it again
"It's got the processing horsepower to do the kinds of things we like to do."


Jake: yeah!

me: yo you gotta try the demo on their page
http://www.apple.com/iphone/phone/

man its the best

Jake: you gotta try the demo at the end of my fist!
Jake: punch demo!

me: so many features
what features has your fist end got?

Jake: face destroying

me: i like this conversation

Jake: yeah, it's going places

me: like my blog you peice of shit

Monday, January 08, 2007

Jemaine Clement Interview

Jemaine Clement is one half of Flight of the Conchords, one of my favorite live comedy acts in the past few years. Their hilarious mix of comedy and music kicks a significant amount of ass. You may have caught them on their HBO special, or on stage if you were lucky enough to catch these New Zealanders while in the states. You also may have caught Jemaine in some Outback steak commercials pretending to be Australian. (And did you hear "Of Montreal's song transformed to a jingle in an Outback commercial? God I want a fucking meaty juicy steak like RIGHT NOW- speaking of MEAT do not forget to see Street Meat TONIGHT!)
Jemaine is the one on the right, Bret is on the left. In that picture over there --->

1) How did FOTC come to be?

We flatted* together in Wellington and were both trying to learn the
guitar. Frustrated with not being able to remember other peoples lyrics or
chords or have the skill to play them we started making up our own.

*roomed

2) You and Brit seem to be very skilled musicians in a variety of genres.
What's your musical background?


His name is actually Bret, it just sounds like 'Brit' because we are
fairly stingy with our vowel sounds in NZ and don't like to use too many
of them. Bret played drums since he was a kid and has been in a few jazz
bands as well as a couple of reggae and dub bands. My parents gave me a
marching drum when I was a kid. They didn't give me the sticks though
unfortunately. As a result Bret is slightly better.

(I'm a jerk who doesn't look up name spellings. It was rather uncivilized and I do apologize to Mr. Bret.)

3) You've achieved some success in a number of countries- how does the experience compare- American vs. New Zealand, etc. ?


In NZ we are famous for being famous in America. (We have been lying about how famous we are in America.)

4) Are you involved in any side projects?

We usually think of F O the C as our side project but this year it is overtaking our main projects. I am working on some animated shorts*. They centre around some sheep who work together eating grass. I'm also chipping away at a vampire film.

* not underpants, films.


5) You guys seem to have fun with the ladies. You sing about the ladies too. What do you think makes a lady special?

That she's not a man? I'm not sure how to answer this. I know I like them though. In NZ a lot of top positions are taken by ladies, the Prime Minister for example. I think Americans might want to try a lady for president soon. I think you'll just love it.

6) What sucks in comedy today?

I think comedy is in a good place today. There is a huge amount of variety.

7) What's great (in comedy today)?

I didn't read ahead I answered that question in the last question. Now all the readers are angry with me!

8) What's your favorite director/artist/musician/comedian/show- etc, something you think the world HAS to check out?


I really love these NZ guys I used to go and see called Sugar and Spice who are a highly dramatic surreal theatrical comedy duo. They don't venture out of NZ often though so it might be expensive for some of you.

I think they should check out The Magnetic Fields, The Phoenix Foundation, the soundtrack to Shortbus, anything with 'the' in the front of it like the outdoors, the psychic realm, the kitchen. They should check out the things they want to check out but haven't gotten around to it. They should check out that mole they've been wondering about. We all should.


9) What's your favorite New Zealand thingy?

I like pavlova. It's a meringue dessert with a soft centre. Do you have it here? Please don't as it would nullify my answer.

*center

10) What makes you feel pretty?

Uninterrupted sleep, compliments, wearing armour, looking at those old pictures of chimpanzees dressed as humans.

Listen to some of FOTC's stuff here. Or on Youtube.

-------


Previous interviews:
Michael Showalter
Kara Janx
Brian K Vaughan

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Just call me Eventy McActionPants

Dude, dudes, dude ... the last month or so, but most especially day by day- so much "stuff" keeps happening I feel like I am watching a tv show rather than living a life. Like, really? All these things? Mmmkay ...


Boys- OMG! Them bitches are always doin stuff.

Family- Drama! Plus I performed standup in front of my mom for the first time this week- major step for me! But it was cool and I really enjoyed sharing that with her.

Apartment and everyday living- all new and different! PLUS my apartment was on the news and something hilarious happened, will explain more later.

I saw a man get hit my a car this week. He didn't die.

My work building went on fire and then quickly was not on fire anymore.

Oh ... and job. Remember when I was going to leave Lucas and then I didn't? Well now I am for sure. I just got like the coolest job offer at the coolest company that falls in line with my comedy writing ambitions. It's to be an editor of a new website owned by a big fancy major media corporation, like a content editor- and such experience could allow me future opportunities as an editor of like, I dunno, magazines and big fancy blogs or whatevs. Plus it's fun! I get to watch funny videos and music videos and pick the best of the best as part of the job ...
But I'll remain Michael's publicist freelance. I just love the guy and we're not ready to part ways.

Oh ... and comedy. I am starting up improv classes today for the first time in like 3 years. Also got lots of shows coming up. Talent scouting street performers in Times Square and the subway is fun. See Street Meat for more info. Sexytime on Jan 26.

STUFF KEEPS HAPPENING. I like it but sheesh. So freakin eventful all the damn time.

AND BTW
The people over at tickets.com are a bunch of crap poops. I TRIED to buy tickets to see Arcade Fire at this special performance in a lil NYC church but they sold out instantly- and their "virtual waiting room" system is just absurdly stupid and sucks. It's too easy for the bad guys to get tickets and scalp em with that system. I got up to buy them! WTF stupid jerks. They are probably all expensive on ebay right now. I am so pissed.

AND MORE BTW RE: MOVIES-
I am completely scared of the idea of watching Pan's Labyrinth.
I saw The Queen and it was ok, not at all as good as the hype. James Cromwell is my favorite in that movie. Mirren is great but it's just not that meaty of a role.
I started watching Domino and love it so far. She does a good job of making me want buff arms and the ability to kill with my bare hands or bear hands. And to shoot things.

Me on LVHRD

More info about Sunday's show and lineup.

And once again, from now on I will be addressed as Eventy McActionPants and will be changing the name of this site to eventymcactionpants dot com
JK LOL OMG- my name is Heather.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

My boss' grandpa passed away and he wrote something for his blog and asked me to post it while he is out of the office. Doing this made me realize a few things. First of all, the guy is more than a boss- he's a friend and I really care about him. I feel all sad for him and all of that mushy stuff. Also, I looked through some of his childhood pictures to find a picture of him and his grandpa for his blog.

It's amazing to me the disconnect that people make when they sexualize a person. When I look at these childhood pictures I get a better picture of the whole person, someone that many people don't think about when they think about a porn star. But that's the weird, icky problem I guess. Too many people dissociate an individual from their true humanity because they like to objectify someone as a tool for sexual arousal- why not be aroused by a person as a whole? Sometimes it seems less popular in the world. But things are changing. The success of La Dolce Vita may signal that taking effort to create real stories and characters in adult movies is the next step in modern sex culture.

Mmkay. That's all for now. BTW, I got a show tonight and tomorrow, check my sidebar for details --->

link: Michael's blog today (safe for work)
seriously, there are way too many emails in 2007
thumbs down
back to work

Monday, January 01, 2007

new years resolution

a) buy tent
b) put tent on roof
c) fuck the tent with my thingy

Epilogue ......
Ooooch ouch my head hurts me oooooch I drank too much alkerhills. BUT IT WAS FUN! I danced and danced so much so that I got bruise hurts on my body.

2007 HERE IS ME COMING HERE I GOT MY 2007 PANTS ON (YOUR FLOOR YOU NAUGHTY M-FUCKER).