Tuesday, February 13, 2007

hello brown eyeshadow
i put you on my eyes today
then i wore tweed suit pants and pearls
i looked in the mirror in the corporate office bathroom
under that dispassionate light
and thought to myself
hmm
that looks kind of nice
maybe i should switch to brown eyeshadow
but i've been resistant to you for so long
youre the color that the boring ladies wear
the grownups and adults
i like putting my eyes all in black like someone took a crazy marker to them
or blue or green like i'm part muppet or space person
or all sparkles like a gay fish's caviar exploded on my face
i'm pretty sure gay caviar has glitter inside
i've got strong intuitive skills

anyway
these days i do yoga at the gym i belong to and go back to my manhattan apartment
i pay my bills and own a vacuum cleaner
i think i am an adult
i mean i've got so many meetings all the time day and night and then sometimes while i am sleeping i've got meetings with investors god i hate those they are so stupid but i know they are important
hey
hey
HEY brown eyeshadow i think you stopped listening
that is not cool

you better have a good excuse
maybe you do
maybe it's cause you have gout
well dont worry brown eyeshadow i will save you
here with this goutinol
you really should click the link
its safe for work and will heal your gout
you gotta read the whole thing though
it talks about stuff i can relate to
so you know
knowing that i think you can get to know me better
ok bye bye brown eyeshadow i'm sleepy

No comments: