Sunday, April 08, 2007


I reconnected with an old friend from on MYSPACE of course. She was near and dear and my closest friend some time around 6th grade until she moved. Like a lot of my childhood best friends, she was Beavis to my Butthead, Lembeck to my Charles in Charge. Anyhow, I had a lot of fun working on the next Street Meat video today, and after I uploaded this picture:

I thought, my god, THIS is what I am doing at nearly 26 years old.

26. The number has been haunting me ever since I thought about how that's my next birthday (in June, if you want to find me a good gift, I'm into cured hams). Something about it seems old, and when I realized it, the first thought in my mind was- holy crap you so have not accomplished enough by now.

I'd really like to have made more of myself in comedy, but I guess I do feel I've made a big step in "finding myself" with some of my jokes, and I'm extremely hating that I have done a lot in comedy and performing, but have little web video to show for it- which seems like everything these days.

I have to remind myself of the adventures and cool shit that has happened along the way. And I guess remind myself how freaking cool Jim Henson is and he was playing with muppets and weird things all his life.

So spending Easter Sunday making raw meat wear underpants and filming is not just ok, it's a good thing?


It is.

And on Saturday night I got really wasted and danced on a bar. And a table outside the bar. And ate pork n got it all over my face ON PURPOSE. And it was good.

Bringing it back to the friend- I was flattered and shocked when she complimented how well I turned out- I was like, really? In your eyes this is good? Well ... ok. Maybe I'm an ass for not being satisfied and happy with all the things I have to be fortunate for. Come on Heather- you got New York! You're doin fun stuff- cool stuff! You're lucky! Yeah .... ok, I can appreciate those things. I do. But damn, I don't think anything's ever going to be "enough". I'm really really hungry for so much more. And I know there's a lot of you out there on the very same page. Hi!

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