Thursday, June 28, 2007

- saw 2 great shows this week: Michael Ian Black doing standup, and
Mike Myers discussing comedy and enlightenment with Deepak Chopra. It was so f'ing fantastic. Reminded me of my senior thesis paper that discussed the role of art/comedy as a means of social enlightenment/liberation through critical self-awareness

- PCS TV: Garth Ennis Talks Preacher HBO Series

- A robot got breast implants

- This guy farted in a limo.

- I be downloadin Band Of Horses "Funeral"

- This made me laugh

- I made an argument and upset the cults

- Saw the premiere of HBO's Voyeur last night. It was projected on an actual building on the Lower East Side so that it had the illusion of being the actual rooms. It looked spectacular and was certainly a feat of creativity for the cameraman/director - especially in the area of continuity between rooms/stairwell.

big week

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

i has a job

Errr, yeah so my current job is editor of It's a new website! We made some how-to videos to explain how it works. Here's one of them. Please try out the site and enjoy and let me know what you think ... it's free n stuff. Uh. I'm not the site's spokesperson as I am not doing the company's PR, so I'm not sure what I'm allowed to say, so ... enjoy?


Monday, June 25, 2007

The Heather Fink Show: NOT!

Last summer, a producer from a popular tv channel contacted me about filming a show. Not just any show, the Heather Fink Show. Fun, right? The original concept was a reality show that is kinda like Seinfeld meets Sex in the City. It would show me trying to make it as a comedian, doing shows and material and all; plus it would show behind the scenes of my unusual job, which at the time was as PR Director for a gay adult entertainment company; and it would show my life/lifestyle in NYC. It would have interviews with people in my life telling stories- including all the guys I've dated since I have a lot of true crazy dating stories.

The most embarrassing thing is that I actually sent this mass email to all the dudes I've dating asking if they would do the show. GULP.

Anyhow, we shot about 4 different days in my life (not consecutive) and then the producer got called to work on a show which took all of their time. Since the producer was pitching this as an independent project of theirs, it had no real budget and needed to be dropped in light of monies and time! Oh well.

I asked the producer if I could have the footage and I was generously given a couple of clips. I'm told that more is on it's way too. So, here's a couple.

Fink show footage 1 of 6: Michael Lucas' La Dolce Vita

Fink show footage 2 of 6: Nice Boots

Fink show footage 3 of 6: On Blogging and Weirdness

Fink show footage 4 of 6: Know Your Audience

Fink show footage 5 of 6: Glamourtime

One of the clips freaked me out in a major way. There's this one clip that shows me in a way I've never ever seen myself- it's a really natural moment where I'm not aware I'm being watched. I'm talking to other people and I've obviously never seen myself do that before. It made me feel kind of nauseous, I can't explain why. It was just so incredibly odd. Like I was creepily spying on myself. Gives me the chills just thinking about it EEK!

Other eek moments include the fact that I let them film me without makeup on in my messy gross room- keeping it totally real, you know? But UGH it's so icky and poopy. Oh well. It never hurts to be humbled.

So here's me completely naked in a sense. I don't necessarily like myself in all of it, but I like sharing. I like the honesty, really it's the same appeal that blogging has- to let things show that you ordinarily keep hidden.

I'll be uploading more as I get them and I think I want to edit some down into smaller parts. Just in case ya find it interesting or whateva.

what women want

me: dude
i saw a new store this mornin
on the way to work

Christina: where at

me: victorias secret beauty candy store

Christina: whoa

me: lipglosses n fun stuff in a candy store theme
fuckin a

Christina: that sounds cool

me: its on bwy near 51st

Christina: as shit

me: totally cool as shit

Christina: i wants to go check it out
is it open?

me: yeah i think so


me: lipglosses

Christina: yeah

Friday, June 22, 2007

I'm a homo 4 u <3

Comic Books-
Just started Punisher, just bought Paul Pope's 100%.
Series currently reading or waiting for next issue of:
Boys, 100 Bullets, Fables, Jack of Fables, Ex Machina, Y the Last Man, DMZ, The Exterminators.

The Analog Dreamz show on Tuesday was a success in that everyone enjoyed themselves (I think!) and the performances were really amazing, can't wait to put video clips up on the net so you can see. Thank you so much to all performers and audience members.

I get my camera this Saturday!!! I think I finally fixed my Final Cut Pro Setup after going to the Apple Store, Tekserve, and Best Buy for countless chords and crap. Get ready to be infiltrated with original content.

Things that are interesting:
- Saw Fantasia in the street the other night, midtown.
- Brad Pitt made appearances near my friend's work on Wall Street last week and the next day downtstairs of my building. I felt nice knowing this.
- I'd like to have sexual relations with both Prince William and Prince Harry.
- Woman jailed for testicle attack
- Related "Despite his injury, it seems (Mr Blair) continued to masturbate while in the garage," the prosecutor said.
- All shorn up

And in honor of gay pride weekend, gay things:

- This morning on the subway: 2 spritely black gay fellows had a lot of commentary, to me: "She got hips! And a nice bag, damn girl, you better work!"
To another girl: "She got a push up bra, PADDED, I want em to be BIG! she says"
- Kathy Griffin said funny stuff to Anderson Cooper on Larry King's show.

My Gay! He's not in town this weekend! NOO HE IZ BEST GAY. See his nice shoulder there.

New Rufus Wainwright track!

dis ice cream bench very gay but is ok will not sword fight you only provide comfortable sitting ok?

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Fink 2.0

I was sitting on the subway, listening to my iPod, reading iGod, and holding my bag of just purchased items from Tekserve, thinking about how sexy that maverick Steve Jobs is.

And I began to think about how inundated our modern social culture is with all things tech. Technology, devices and computers have finally infiltrated the sophisticated, fashionable, soulful, organic elements of human art. They amplify the basic elements of human capacity- the rational and the expressive. These elements I speak of are those that set us apart from all other beings. With computers and the internet, we have set ourselves so far apart from other species that it is truly inadequate to classify man as simply animal. Our social material- our art, technologies and expression, create a whole that is so much greater than the sum of its parts. To quote the iGod article I was reading today,

"With the rise of the Web, the computer revolution was, for the first time, becoming genuinely personal. No longer were people using their machines just for serious stuff—documents, spreadsheets. They were using them for purposes that were purely recreational. E-mailing. IM-ing. Downloading purloined music. Devouring online porn. And once the PC entered the realm of fun, it became a province of fashion."

And then I think about my own place in this world- as I should. The great democratizer of the Web 2.0 world is that each person is their own channel, choosing to extend themselves via the video, blog, or flickr portal if they may choose- lending to the hyper-narcissism that defines this generation. Those who do not blog, myspace or youtube are really no longer going to be excused as those who simply wish for greater privacy than others. Those people are not just not interested in creative writing, photography or videomaking. If they were, and considered themselves artists, I would certainly critcize them for lacking an essential characteristic of all living artists- to evolve, remain contemporary and relevant. The delineation is more a reflection of occupation than any pretentious internet modesty. Ironically, web presence lives among the down-to-earth and real- naturally due to its lubrication of accessibility between people (networking, wikis of information).

Relevancy is just the thing then, isn't it? The social darwinism of modern expression has materialized in the need to remain culturally relevant.

Anyhow, I thought of myself. I thought of my jobs and what I do. I've a blogger, flickrer, gmail/google application slave, ipod user, myspacer, youtuber, sitemeterer, haloscanner and perhaps a little more. I'm a comedian who writes for the web, promotes her shows on the web, networks via the web, and creates original video content for the web. I currently work for a media company that is positioning itself in the forefront of mobile entertainment - as more tech savvy CEOs predict a future where the vast majority of web use will be conducted via cellphone rather than computer. And in the past I worked in PR/Media for a porn company- an industry famous for its ability to fully exploit new technologies before all other areas of the entertainment industry have caught on.

When I was a little girl I loved my time on my Commodore. Later I used to play games on floppy discs, and I was one of the few kids who had a PC with Word Perfect and Pagemaker. I could program in DOS and was an early adopter of the mouse and windows. My dad worked in computers and always brought home the latest and greatest.

In 1998, my senior year of high school, I took an unpopular semester elective called "The internet and you." In that class I learned HTML and built my first webpage.

During my freshman year of college in 1999, my friends and I started using AOL IM for the first time, and I got my very first email address. I was a PC user, hating MACs when I would edit video projects on them because their compatability with the applications I know and love was shit. Office for Macs sucked butts at the time. They seemed culturally irrelvant- only necessary for practical needs like editing. It was in the time before youtube.

In the fall of 1999, I purchased, and began creating it in 2001 on a free hosting site, where I used the site to tell some stories, post funny pictures, and link to things I liked. I even had a page for a short biography of myself. It was lame and I rarely updated. I used the site to host pictures there as well, but there was a storage limit and I could not link photos from my page elsewhere.

In the fall of 2003, I went to law school where everything was done via internet- from legal research to homework assignments to exam taking. My law school boyfriend in 2003 was the first person I had ever met with a blog. He used it to post videos he made which were popular in his home town, and write something funny just about every day. His friends from home would interact with him by leaving comments. Some of his friends would even post there from time to time.

In 2004 I started my own blog to post funny things as well, a needed outlet during lawschool. A month later I became a lawschool dropout/failure and my boyfriend dumped me. All of the sudden I used the blog as a tool for expressing the difficult crap I was going through and as a way to have a loud screaming voice in reaction to the whole thing. I allowed my most painful emotions to be witnessed like a trainwreck and I'm sure my readers appreciated the spectacle. At the very least it helped normalize the otherwise traumatic experience of being dumped by your first crazy love during your quarterlife.

In 2005 I began my current career as a comedian, and the blog served as a tool for comedy writing. At that point I was able to exhibit my comic voice without even performing. When I returned to the stage, the two fed into each other.

Somewhere around the time I became a blogger, flickerer and all of that, I became a full fledged Mac enthusiast, embracing the style, fluidity and grace of its abilities.

And all that I and many others seem to think of is what has happened to us? What will happen next? What does Edward Tufte think? What does the pervasive social language of the Lolcats mean for us and will it ever go away?

For many of you this blog entry is the most boring fucking thing you have ever laid eyes on. But the scary thing is that for many of you- it's not. It's interesting. You can relate. You feel the very same things.

And PS- I just built one of my own:

Monday, June 18, 2007


It's Analog Dreamz
hosted by Heather Fink
Mo Pitkins
34 Ave A
Tues June 19
One time only!

Click here to buy tickets:

Presenting Videos: (4 videos/clips)
Kyle Supley
Hayes Hargrove
Brandy Crawford
The Twins!

Talent Show Performers: (6 acts)
Jake Goldman
John O Donnell
Carolyn Castiglia, Adolpho, Mindy Raf and Shawn Hollenbach
Jenny Rubin and Katina Carrao
Rob Lathan
Jen MacNeil

Friday, June 15, 2007

Sorry I haven't written here much- am mucho mucho busy lately!

I really love a lot of the videos on Funny Or Die. First of all the Landlord and Landlord outtakes are must sees. Also here's a bit starring Ian Roberts called "Angry Boss" and I love it.

Ok- so everything about the quality of the video right here is shit. Looks like shit, sounds like shit, audience didn't laugh a ton- but nonetheless here it is. It's from 2 years ago and I hadn't seen it in 2 years. It was sort of surprising to me to see what material I did and how I did it. Go ahead- judge away!:

And today I'm acting as a main character in a comedy sketch (looks like maybe 3 or 5 minutes) that's part of a tv show for MTV. I think that's pretty cool but I think I'll save excitement for when it airs. Anyhow I think it will be fun- we're shooting at a real hospital so that will be interesting.

Other stuff:
- The Zagats on Chinese Cuisine in America
- Potty Mouth Stoner Movie Quotes
- I didn't really watch many of Olde English's videos until I became friends with these nice fellows, but now that I am watching them I realize they are freaking amazing. Click here, scroll down. Enjoy Father's Day, and perhaps a favorite video produced for web that I've ever seen- the Michel Gondry video. So creative, hilarious, smart, and well produced. GUSH ...

Finally, I recently found this quote from Andy Kaufman and added it to Street Meat's website:
"Pure entertainment is not an egotistical lady singing boring songs onstage for two hours and people in tuxes clapping whether they like it or not. It's the real performers on the street who can hold people's attention and keep them from walking away."

Oh oh oh and don't forget, I have a very special one time only show at Mo Pitkin's on Tuesday, June 19th @ 9pm called Analog Dreamz. I'll post more details tomorrow.


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Meats Episode 3!

As usual, it's always nice and helpful to leave comments, ratings, or favorite ... thank you!


Originally uploaded by brianvan

- Last night's party/show was like
I love my friends they are the best and I can't wait to show you pictures and videos!
Opening Sopranos bit where Adam and I argue, while eating funyuns, over the ending while "Don't Stop Believin" plays and stops abruptly while Adam and I freeze.

Lucas Held, assisted by Merritt Gurley, as Johnny Snatchatory, a douchebag doorman with his clubbing assistant.

Carl Arnheiter as Robert Lundbomb, Street Therapist with questionable tactics

The premiere of Meats: Episode 3 by me n Adam

Adam and I with the assistance of Trevor Williams and Chris Camp reinact the wedding of Princess Diana and Prince Charles. (my birthyear is 1981 and that's a big event that happened then)

Jon Daly and Brett Gelman as The Fabulous Belly Brothers, a duo that smacks their Belly, musically, and takes requests from the audience

Elephant Larry, as real street performers, since they've done their sketches 4 realz in the streets.

THEN Jahfurry, joined by Bill Sims and all these other amazing musicians, taking over the party part of the show.

There was cake, prepared by the AMAZING Stephen.

The event was covered for LVHRD's Magazine ... so I'll be sure to post it when it's up.

Special thanks to Daniel Zimmer for taping the show, even though this time it was with a crappy camera. We haven't posted the live show video yet, from past shows too, but we will soon.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Hey yall,

Just writing you this reminder on MAH BIRTHDAY OBSERVED
Tonight is big celebrations and show at Cake Shop
152 Ludlow

More infos here:

Wednesday, June 06, 2007


I think I got some stupid stuff lodged under my shift key cause i'm generally icky and messy so there will be some poor capitalization at this moment in time. Apologies.

- On wednesday nights at the Whole Foods on Bowery they give you free food. Enough in fact that I had an entire dinner and was full. IT RULES.
- I saw Vin Deisel at the Apple Store today.
- Must read: New York Magazine's cover article on campaigns
- Stereogum now makes downloading their free mp3s even easier! I suggest downloading D.A.N.C.E. , Air, Okkervil River, Sufjan Stevens, The Wrens, Bloc Party, Battles, Spoon and the Mark Ronson song they got there 4 free!
- Will Ferrell's The Landlord Outtakes
- New Ryan Adams video - I REALLY F'ING LOVE THIS SONG!
- HIS HOTNESS STEVE JOBS in a free iTunes downloadable podcast: Steve Jobs and Bill Gates at D5 Conference. Go to ITunes to get it.
- Read about Kenneth Lamar Noid
- RRRRRRR setting up my editing suite has been such a freaking pain in the darn ass. Wrong cables, something wasn't packaged right, upgrade this and that, reinstall this and that, never ending- but I get closer and closer. Final cut and my backup hard drive are finally installed but I'm still looking to get the proper connector to my TV so I can edit on large monitor (the guy at the apple store sold me the entirely wrong thing) and I have issues with my damn consumer grade miniDV player- it's a sony dcr-hc21 piece of shit and I can't f'ing capture from it because it's got some BS crap settings that interfere and I tried to install the driver but for some reason my Mac is asking me which application I'd like to run my exe file with which is an application in itself so it shouldn't be asking me that goddamn it arg i just ugh want to edit dammit help grr anger


Saw Knocked up last night. I'm already a huge Apatow fan, and I really enjoyed this movie. There were so many moments that were absolutely brilliant- the writing and cast were so freaking fantastic BUT because it was so brilliant, the times when it was stupid or flawed stood out so much more because my expectations were higher and I know they could do better. I blame the editor in part. A lot of that should have been cut. And what was with showing the preggers vag!? Did anyone notice the thing was shaved too! That just annoyed me cause the real thing looks monstrous, not groomed. I know because they showed us this haunting video in high school health class.

Another problem I had was that Seth Rogan is a really likable actor- but his character said some incredibly heinous things he should have been called out for and the Alison character should have given him more crap. Plus all the nonsense where they loved eachother and she was so nice to him was absurd. The worst part is where they just hold hands out of nowhere. It would have been a better film if these 2 characters interacted and dealt with the pregnancy without having a romance. As much as he had likable female characters in the story, they were treated like shit and I think Apatow is smart enough to respect these characters more and give them some damn balls.
Personal Highlights:
- Charlene Yi as Jodi, !!!! SO F'ing hilarious.
- Leslie Mann as Debbi, also way too likable, after Seth Rogan bitches her out I don't want to cheer for him
- Paul Rudd, his most hilarious performance yet
- Jason Segel, in love with him as usual, if you liked him here, check out Slackers, Dead Man on Campus, SLC Punk, and if you can get your hands on it, North Hollywood
- Katherine Wiig
Meh, there's too many. Looking forward to youtube clips.
- Ryan Seacrest NOT sucking for a moment? Yeah. In this movie. Weird.

Ok, I wasn't share going to share this with you but my stinky roommate said that I should: When I was in 5th Grade we modernized the play Pinnocchio and put in a musical number. We decided to have the Urkel dance, since Urkel was a main character (Pinnurkio). We memorized the Urkel dance, and since I was the only one who could do this dance move where you bend all the way backwards, I got to be in front. I wore a pink sequin baseball cap turned to the side. The end.
The Urkel.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

When I was a little girl I really loved the rain. I would dress in my mom's trench coat and run around our big yard and pretend I was a spy on a mission. I would hide in my dad's rusty old nissan ZX and pretend it was my office. It was also a good place to put baby toads that I found. I'd try and outrun the badguys but usually allow myself to trip up and fall into puddles of mud because I love mud. There was one specific spot I loved to visit, all the way up to middle school, to play in the mud because the mud quality was very good there.

One time, I think I was 10 years old or something like that, I pretended that I was the god of weather, and I was all like "let there be rain". And then it rained. I tried it again, and sometimes it would work and sometimes it would not. Usually it would not work. I guess the other gods were smiting me. Stupid gods always smiting.

For that I must bring you my wrath.

Monday, June 04, 2007

dan smith will teach you love


The Democratic Primary Debate:
So yes I'm completely disenfranchised by modern American politics BUT I really enjoyed what I saw of last night's democrat debate. It did fire up my old political flames and that's a very hopeful sign for things to come. I was on the fence about Hillary vs Obama but honestly I don't think Obama is a good choice. He's incredibly young and inexperienced. I think he'd be more ready for the office of the President with a decade of political experience under his wing- but this presidential run will create prime positioning for him in the future (if not a great spot for him as Vice Prez). Biden also did an excellent job and pleased me.

But Hillary is truly presidential. She's been ready for this for nearly 2 decades now. The American people may not like her but it's always been easy for them to imagine her as president. There were jokes that she ran the office ever since Bill was prez and I think that says an awful lot. We know she's intelligent, dignified and as qualified for office as anyone should be. American presidents are supposed to be inspiring and amazing figureheads with impressive skills and history. Her life's accomplishments are incredible. When she speaks, you listen.

Just picture it- picture that's she's won. Picture the excitement that a woman- intelligent, capable and strong has taken office. And this woman is a Clinton! We love Clintons! They are so awesome! ACK I really want it to happen like, nowz.

What does it take for a candidate to win this time around?
- Candid, no-bullshit, real responses. We are drowning in information and concepts as a culture. If someone can "really say something" these days, it's absolutely freakin invaluable. Flat out insult and disrespect the Bush admin and rail against the government. It will win the favor of voters.

Changing urban landscapes based on single people-
So I was sitting at a packed Thai restaurant waiting for takeout in Park Slope. I thought about Hoboken and Williamsburg and how there are all of these booming neighborhoods that have changed dramatically over the last couple of years. We now have an incredibly large single population dictated by the dramatic change in our generation where people wait to start families and get married for about a decade later (on average I'm guessing) than our parents. Brooklyn used to be composed of families, but now it's been called a gentrified frat house. Really it's the existence of large populations of single people with jobs living outside of their parents houses. There are dozens of bars and restaurants spreading like wildfire in these neighborhoods catering to the desires of its single residents. Kinda fascinating how urban development mirrors social change.

Make your ears nice with these:

- The incredible vocals on Cold War Kids' "A Change is Gonna Come"
a cover on a song with history by Sam Cooke
Hang me up to dry
Some free Cold War Kids mp3's
But you'll have to go to ITunes to grab "A Change is Gonna Come"

- Blonde Redhead "Falling Man"

- Bone Thugs "Wind Blow" which samples Fleetwood Mac