Monday, December 31, 2007

i love you and i love my friends and my family and the internet and my blog and to party and tonight!

surely i feel sad. regret. pain.

i do see those things
i see bad things

but i see them at the very same time
sitting alongside

so many things i love and that i think are beautiful
and so that's how i feel now

tonight is about that
i see where i am at this moment
here i look before i leap

i drink champagne and celebrate again
the future
and the continuing
of life
and see all of this
and all i want to do is appreciate it

happy new year

Thursday, December 27, 2007

These are the actual meats



I wasn't blogging lately cause I didn't feel like it.

But, you know, here's something for holidays:

Cats don't like to wear outfits and so here is a picture of a cat and you know that he isn't happy. How does that make you feel? Try to explain your feelings in a picture.

For Christmas this year I got some great new possessions!
I got furnishings.
This one ->


I got boots
I got some makeup.
I have things! America.


We ate these meats on Christmas day. (these are the actual meats)

I also realized it's been more than 4 years since I visited Holland, so I think I am going to go with my parents this summer and then stop over to Croatia or Malta. I've wanted to visit Croatia for some time now, and both Croatia and Malta flights are relatively reasonable from Holland. It's there, Northern Africa, or Turkey that I'm interested in, so we will see.

Oh and then I also want to go to South America.

Yeah.

Hey guess what also I did not mention-
- I went to a roast of Mike Burns cause he left town and there was nothing but SIDE SPLITTING laughter! Roasts are toooo funn.
- Dirty Pretty Things is a fantastic movie. I've been seeing lots of indie bullshit lately so it was a pleasure to see something that was moving and complete.
- ABC now posts episodes of My So Called Life on the Internet!
- I was going to buy my family products from Vik Prjonsdottir for xmas but when I actually checked out the goods, not only were they made of non-snuggly itchy wool - they were like 500-600 dollars OMG! I do not care for the quality of the wool or craftsmenship. They have such great concepts for their stuff, they should make their blankets and hats out of snuggly, cheaper fabrics.
LOOK HOW CUTE, EH?:




and the one sealpelt up tops too

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I got a new digital camera! Well, actually one from ebay that is identical to the last camera that I had that I really loved that they don't make anymore. And I already posted some pictures here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/heatherfink/
I used the memory card from this other device, so there's some pics from my georgia trip that I never posted mixed with pics from xmas eve.

Hey Blog Guess What?!
WHAT? WHAT WHAT WAHT
There's gonna be more pictures now.
OHHH. OK!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

From the recent 60 Minutes Tom Brady Interview

Take a look at this video clip
Something about what he said and the way he said it. Not that I haven't heard something like that before ... still. Check it out.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I've had a few ...

People are misbehaving this holiday season
- Coach makes raindeers do it (thanks Trev)
- Woman gets on Santa's Junk
- Santa asks kids if they wanna smack his nuts (thanks Brandy)


It's so awesome that Jamie Lynn Spears is having a baby. 16 is a great age for kids to be having sex. And Jamie lets kids know that it's ok to go and have your baby because abortion is wrong. And hey, I'm glad Disney is supporting her decision. This sends a healthy message to all the kiddies out there who keep getting sexier every day with their outfits and facebooks. Let me think back to who I was dating when I was 16 ... that kid Mike who I used to watch skateboard behind taco bell. Who had frosted tips. FROSTED MOTHER F'ING TIPS BITCHES. Just like Sugar Ray. Back when we drank till it was alcohol poisoning and fingerbanged while watching Mortal Kombat at Cinema 10. Coulda had that bitch's nut drops make a fine lil baby but I let my chance pass ... regret.

Speaking of puberty- Must watch:
Pink Slip You need to confirm age to see this, but it's worth it - or to quote Justin whom I shared it with today:
"i cant talk to you cuase im hysterical
hold on
i love you for htis
so much
i m crying
hahahahhaha"


Hey, wanna drool over Bear Grylls naked? Yeah, me too (Thanks Edmund)

Finally, here are some of my favorite moments of characters singing in movies:

Diane Keaton as Annie Hall - Seems like Old Times


Julie Delpy from Before Sunset - A Waltz for a Night


Penelope Cruz as Riamunda - Volver


Enjoy, mes petits lapins!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

M.I.A. Paper Planes

So this is a song that was in heavy rotation during my summer roof parties, and now it's a video. A bland video at that, but if you haven't heard the song yet, I do think it's one of the best songs of the year.

Speaking of summer roof party songs, I was also quite into Heartbeats - The Knife, and the now overplayed Justice D.A.N.C.E., some Cold War Kids, and Green Jelly's Three Little Pigs.

Anyhoo: M.I.A. - Paper Planes

(the song in this video is the original version of the song)

Her commentary about the video:
.... I ORIGINALLY WANTED TO SHOOT THE VIDEO IN A FACTORY ON THE BORDER OF
EQUADOR, BUT COULDNT. I WAS TOURING THE U.S, I COULDA BEEN ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD RIGHT THEN BUT THERE I WAS IN AMERICA, IN NYC, IN BROOKLYN, IN BEDSTUY , I WAS TORN BETWEEN SCRAPIN SHOWS IN AMERICA AND MEETING AMERICAN FANS OR SHOOTING IN NYC ON MY ONLY DAY OFF I'D HAD IN 4 MONTHS AND GETTING ON WITH IT.

SO THEY TRIED TO SHUT ME DOWN AGAIN. I MADE THE PAPER PLANES VIDEO. I MADE IT HOW THEY WANTED. NO VIOLENCE. AMBIGUOUS. MTV - FRIENDLY. NOW TODAY, I CHECK YOUTUBE AND SEE THE LEAKED MTV PAPER PLANES VIDEO UP FOR THE FIRST TIME. I CLICKED ON IT AND OUT COMES THIS FUCKED UP MESS WITH DOUBLE-TRACKED BULLSHIT MESS

WHO THE THE FUCK IS DOING THIS TO ME?????

THE VIDEO WAS SABOTAGED FOR WHATEVER REASON AND IM DISAPPOINTED THAT MTV HAS HAD SUCH A MAJOR ROLE IN THIS. THE BLOGGERS WHO ARE LAZY ENOUGH TO FOLLOW THE MTV LINK AND POST UP AND COMMENT ON THE SOUND WHEN THAT HASNT BEEN COMPROMISED AND THE GUNSHOT ARENT REPLACED AND EDITED MAKES ME SAD. I DID FIGHT FOR THE SOUND , BECAUSE PUTTING MEANINGS IN YOUR VIDEOS, IN MY OPINION IS A DYING ART. I CAN FILM MY SELF ANYWHERE ANYTIME AND LET YOU KNOW THE TRUTH , BUT THE SONG IS WHAT I WANTED TO PRESERVE IN THIS CASE.
read the rest here if u wanna

Monday, December 17, 2007

Beep beep boop


Here you can see Carissa. She is the fashion designer behind Mandate of Heaven. She makes custom jeans where she measures you a lot and then you get form fitted super tight really hard to zip up pants that make you look like a 50s vixen (pictured here). There's cool angel wings on the upper butt. Mine are finished! So you may see me around with these pants on, perhaps with zipper down, since I have some trouble getting them back up after p p breaks.




This is a knife. It's kinda cool. This is the sort of thing I might want if it wasn't 150 dollars. Not because I like to stab. Because there is something compelling about weaponry. Man using the solid things to kill. To Protect. To manipulate matter.


Instead I asked for a Navy pair of Hunter boots. Just like coke-sexy Kate Moss.
I had a most excellent pair of gollashes I had been wearing for years. But they kinda busted like most of my shoes when tortured by fine NYC living. Stomping around in weather proof boots is innately appealing.

Not shame/Not fame
Writing this book I am revisiting my past, including my bloggy past, viewing all the things I wrote and felt then. And I makes me all embarrassed gross icky feeling reading some old perspectives and things I used to say. Sure some stuff is the same, lots of it. But I was I wasn't as naive. I wish I knew more. I was I was more the person I am now. But I wasn't, and so I'll be honest about that. Because the story is as much about personal transformation and growth as it is about the job I had.


On the way home today I stopped by the super market and the livers (chicken) caught my eye. I brought them home and cooked them. It's not something I usually do. There is a grossness about them but I liked it. There was something elegant about taking fork and knife to this classic food and enjoying a quiet glass of wine, while listening to beautifully sparking songs that glistened so.

I'm listening to these songs right now:
- Where Is My Mind? - Pixies
- Time to Pretend - MGMT
- Better - Regina Spektor
- Deserter - Matthew Dear
- What's a Girl to Do? - Bat for Lashes
- Too Little Too Late - Daniel Rossen
- Three Wishes - The Pierces
- Apologize - Timbaland
- Thriller - Ben Gibbard
- No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses
- I Came Here to Say I'm Going - Okkervil River
- Like New - Deerhunter
- Mutant John - Why?

Ok there's more than that. Been trigger happy at the iTunes lately. I love all of these songs. Find them, make them yours.


There they are.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Notables

- Did you vote for me for the Emerging Comic Award in the ECNY/New York Comedy Awards? If you did that would be awesome.
- Fun for Geo Nerds
- Young Women get cooler and prouder
- Punk Rock Pillowfight apparently it's going to happen again.
- Maybe I will see Sweeney Todd after all
- Dolly Parton!
- Kanye cried for his Mama
- What Bill Murray really actually really said to Scarlett at the end of Lost in Translation
- Led Zepplin played again
- Welcome to the Jungle, You're Gonna Die
- Me and my douchebaggy furcoat pose make a cameo in this videroo.
- Last night, The Shark Show's Holiday Thing gave me egg nog spit takes. AND I LOVED IT. Men spitting eggnog into each others' faces - with context - is totally absolutely cool.

I can't believe I never watched Max and Gabe's Internet thing before! It's brilliant

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I'm Emerging!

Hey people,

I just got nominated for ECNY's Emerging Comic Award - described as such:
The Emerging Comic Award celebrates the individuals, duos and groups who have emerged within the past few years and have contributed significant and consistent quality work to the New York comedy scene.

The ECNY Awards are New York City's comedy awards.

ECNY's nomination feels so much like a hug!
Now I pester you to pls HALP me wit ur VOTES!

yay
- Heather

VOTE HERE

And here's some reasons why to legitimately vote for me because maybe I'm 4 real emerging and it's not just 4 popularities:
Stuff I did in the past couple years in NYC comedy

LONG RUNNING SHOWS
- Street Meat at Cake Shop:
Character comedy show co-hosted by Adam Newman. We've done original bits and videos, plus each month I prepare an all new character. This show encourages experimentation and super fun.
- Sexytime at Mo Pitkins with co-host Brandy Crawford:
This show brought premium comics together with a special porn star guest. Brandy and I were candid about sexy things and wrote naughty bits together.
- Hoboken Comedy Night:
A Hoboken show that allowed pro comics to mix with newbies. Comics were encouraged to do 'whatevs' in a relaxed environment in a comedy-less neighborhood.

ONE NIGHT SPECIALS
- Analog Dreamz:
In an attempt to highlight pre-youtube comedy genius, this show sought VHS pre 1999 videos that were 100 percent homemade and awesome. The show also welcomed high school talent show style acts. This was a one night special.
- Testes Fiesta:
A show highlighting duo acts, Adam Newman joined me for some duo stuffs.
- Standup and Party:
Super packed show where heckling and misbehavior is encouraged - with shots, insanity, and crackers were thrown at comics when it was time to get off the stage.

STANDUP
At UCB, Rififi, Laugh Lounge, Standup NY, Cake Shop, Laugh Factory, Parkside Lounge Mo Pitkins, Ochi's Lounge, Brooklyn and Queens shows too. No, I'm not one of NYC's best standups - but I do keep experimenting and trying my hardest to challenge myself and bring something real and raw to audiences. Monologues, characters, drawings, freeform weirdness and honesty are used. Emerging!

VIDEOS
Original videos written/directed/performed by mahself have been featured on the front page of myspace, bestweekever.com, the apiary, some gossip sites, and in the Magnet's Girls on Film Fest.
Appearances in videos for Olde English and Elephant Larry for MTV's Short Circuitz.

OTHER STUFF
Improv: After performing improv in DC for many years, I've finally started doing improv in NYC again, so I look forward to brining that to NYC stages.

Web writing:
- Have been writing comedy/etc in my blog I Fink Therefore I am for over 3 years now.
- Comedic articles for girlspoke.com
- My newsletters: I email people a lot, but I try to make the newsletters interesting and worth people's time. Hopefully you enjoy my efforts!
- Interviewed very special comics and a comic book writer on my blog.
- Into the comic books world/appeared as guest on Comic Book Club @ PIT.
- A lil bitty cameo in Adult Swim's Fat Guy Stuck in Internet
- Speaking roles in adult movies- that's some silliness u know it!

Published/Press in: Time Out NY, Page 6, Playgirl magazine, Playboy radio guest, NY Daily News, LVHRD events and magazine
Directed one season of Frowned Upon sketch comedy
Random improv comedy coaching

Have taken lots of classes and training in acting, sketch, improv, singing, and even clown/mime/slapstick woot!

THE FUTURE
Writing a memoir about my time working in the gay adult world (as PR Director), a job which could be considered comedic performance art?
Hope to do more improv, trying to complete classes at UCB
Hope to bring musical Terminator 4 to the stage (still having issues with the music composition)
---

So, if you think I'm good at emerging and contributing to NYC comedy, please vote for me, because I care very deeply about this city, scene, and comedy - so to be appreciated in this way would feel really very nice.

Thanks!
- Heather

yah, so
VOTE HERE pls :)

I'm really glad that I do this

I was feeling kinda unpleasant yesterday.
Like I really didn't feel like doing anything.
Like I'm scared and overwhelmed with the things I am trying to do in life.
And I've got a lot on my mind that wasn't making me feel good.

And then I performed a standup comedy show in spite of not feeling up to it.
And it felt great.
And it felt right.
And I laughed.
I smiled.
And they smiled.
And they laughed.
And it validated my self worth.

I'm really glad that I do this.

rick click save as

Free great music from Okkervil River

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Have you seen my baseball?

Tonight, my last performance of 2007:
Tuesday, December 11 at 8 pm
Ochi's Lounge at Comix
353 W. 14th Street (9th Ave.)
No cover, 1 item minimum.

-----

OMG NEW PORTISHEAD! Search Portishead and ATP on Youtube for new stuff. Portishead is in my top 10 favorite musicians of all time and they only have 2 LPs and haven't made a new one since the 90s. So happy they are making teh hotness again. Their music is very sexy and intense. Here's an old live clip for you to enjoy:


Let yourself get sucked in. Here's another song, Wandering Stars.

-----

I used to write a lot for this website called girlspoke. I'm a little surprised at what was put out there such as this. Whenever I read old writing or visit an old blog, it's like, oh yeah ... I think that. Almost forgot. Time travel.

-----

These men's fashions make me laugh so! This model! Lollers! Is for sale!

-----

Yakuza sounds like lots of fun but is probably not that cool once you're there choppin heads.

-----
Sadder than impotency?
Tips on buying bras for men

-----
Houses:
House of Style!
Pee Wee's Playhouse!
Fun House!

Monday, December 10, 2007

sometimes i look at myself and all i can see is the weakness, flaws, and crap inside
and then i feel like an asshole for being so narcissistic

coffee fux yo mouth up

really it makes it so smelly

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Ocelot - This is Our Time

"We're gonna get drunk, and we're gonna get down. We're gonna do drugs, and we're gonna get fucked. And we're gonna do it all tonight. And we're gonna make it out alive."

That's the lyrics to the fantastic song I heard while out getting drunk n stuff. I am not Miss Drugs Do-er, but I love the spirit and think it is so lovely it gets its own blog entry.

You can hear "Ocelot - This is Our Time" in this music video that goes with this lovely Footloose clip. In this version of the song, I find how the vocals get chopped to be annoying, cause I think there's another version where they are regular-like.



And on their myspace too you can listen and jump n stuff. (thanks Panda Toes)

Friday, December 07, 2007

yeah! yeah! destroy the car



thanks myspace
(the cursor - which I couldn't capture - is a crowbar)
dude
company holiday party
kicked my ass
whisky
so much more
where have all the cowboys gone?

Thursday, December 06, 2007

I Behaved on LVHRD / Dewar's Repeal Day


Do you see? I was civilized.
OR WAS I? That photo may have been taken when cheating. It was fake moneys so people weren't as uppity so I pulled cards out of my sleeve and grabbed chips from the dealer when he wasn't looking. But you know what? I didn't win when I cheated. And so that's why YOU GOTTA BE A GOOD PERSON OK? That reason. This has been a mind altering lesson in life in which you will never look at things the same.

I love the happy corp and LVHRD and I feel nice feelings about the people there, and their including me in their vowel-less hard living.

- They gave out free sneakers but I was too busy caring about my whisky to notice. Dammit! I don't really wear sneakers anyway. Sneakers do shit for my femininity.
- They gave out free shaves but I don't have any hair anywhere on account of an incident with radioactive underpants and a pair of twins from Olso. Really. Nah. I just didn't have anything I wanted gotten with a straight razor.
- They gave away free makeovers but I ... whisky.
- There was poker, arm wrestling, ladies in panties, an annoying chilean man, tap dancing, and a band - but the band was not Band of Horses, which were rumored to be playing there.
- Last night I dreamt that Band of Horses played at this music hall with a big pool and my mom was there are she was upset and then
and then I told you guys to download this Band of Horses song and I can see the perfect sky is torn. I'm cold and shamed or whatever.

Highlight videos answer question: How was Street Meat last night?

Yes! That's what they do! So functional.

These highlight videos show some funninest moments from past shows. (Thanks Adam for your chopping skillz!) We are working on making them for all shows.

Please check out October's and November's (which don't include the music acts cause our tape usually runs out by then or somethin ...)

October includes:
Hannibal Buress, Lang Fisher, Uber Luber Death Metal

November includes:
Greg Johnson, Andrew Wright, Catie Lazarus, Rick Shapiro

Embedded 4 ur convenience:

Street Meat - October 15, 2007

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Street Meat - November 5, 2007

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

i was thinking that it would be fun to have a talk show where i am the star and my guests come to the show and sit on my couch and as soon as they sit down i start throwing stuff at their heads - like all this funny stuff, like a whole cake, and/or a wet paper towel ball, something that will stick - i dont want to hurt them but just the second they start talking total bombardment on their heads and faces - and everyone knows this will happen to them when they come on the show but the show is so famous and great and so special to get on that they subject themselves to it anyway because they so desperately want to plug their own projects and upcoming films/albums

Monday, December 03, 2007

Street Meat is tonight

In case you didn't know.
8pm
Cake Shop: 152 Ludlow

I'm doin an all new character. More info and lineup at www.StreetMeatComedy.com

Sunday, December 02, 2007

The Best Song in the Whole World

When I go to Holland, my mom plays and sings music with her brothers and sisters and it's so nice. Sometimes my uncles will sing Living Next Door to Alice, a popular song from the 70s in Europe. I just remembered it yesterday. And thank you youtube, you have it! And I can share it! Must listen. NSFW. But wonderful on so many levels!!!

PS - Download this cover of Thriller by Ben Gibbard. It's a great song. Did I tell you I met Ben Gibbard's girlfriend when they were at a party recently? She was really cool and normal and sweet and not famous. Did you know that they had their thanksgiving weekend with another couple, John Krasinski and Rashida Jones? They are real life bf/gf. Don't you care about what celebrities do? Don't you care that I shared space with some? Don't worry. I'm not that cool. They didn't care that I was there. Aside from Hollywood IT girl Carrie Underwood. We are best friends. We share hand lotion, and boyfriends LOL! No, seriously. Me and fucking Carrie Underwood are like so tight with our friendship and when we hang out she gets very clingy and is always cockblocking me and up on my shit. She's always pulling this thing at bars like when there's hot dudes around that she tries to get me to make out with her in front of people to get attention but I am like, duh, you know, if I were to make out with a woman it would be because we were in love and didn't care about what anybody thought, you know? And not to get guys to notice me. I try to make sure that I am sexy from within, you know? And be a good person. And nice to people. That sounds good. I just want people to think I am better than them in one way or the other, so if I can get them to think I am unselfish and caring towards others - awesome. One day I resisted the temptation to push a homeless man down the escalators at the Grand Street subway stop. Because I am good. Dammit.

Hell No

The New Museum is Bullshit


BULLSHIT
Seriously



I went with my roommate and her friends to check out the New Museum that just opened on Bowery at 1:30 last night. I was excited. The ads/promotion for the museum are all creative, fun and interesting. The Hell Yes sign is cool.

BUT once inside, it was total bullshit! The art sucked. It's pretentious, unaesthetic crap. You know, the exact kind of nonsense that makes people hate art. It's disrespectful to the audience. You shouldn't have to try so hard to appreciate it. Art should make you feel something, not force you to infer some kind of genius in the artist.

I took a picture of the first silly art turd I saw cause I thought it was funny. Little did I know there were 3 floors of this nonsense.

And on the top floor, I thought we'd be rewarded. Music, a dj, lights - finally, drinks! No. No drinks. It was a Target sponsored Target zone! It meant free candy. And the candy tasted like ass! Aside from the Swedish fishes. It was comically bad. There are some cool things about the building but it's not kick ass.

The New Museum is not new. It's not pushing boundaries. It's exactly what can be obnoxious in art. They are not keeping it real. It's the lamest exhibition I've ever been to. And I like me some motha fuckin art.