Sunday, March 30, 2008

open up it's me!

I really drank a lot the past couple days. But that doesn't stop me from getting it together so I can blog. It's the most motherfucking important thing in the world man, and I'll always pull it together for you, dot com.


look at that lil dinosaur guy! he sits on the counter at georgia's eastside bbq on orchard st.
and here's some songs to eat cake to:


Did you know that young teenaged people have a term called "scenester" which refers to emo sorta goth kids? They really hate on them. I have heard the term hipster of course, but scenester evades 20+ year old vocabularies. Interesting what the kids are up to these days.

I have a friend who is a great writer. This is something she wrote in college.

She made me think about how I used to write these articles that were primarily about sex and dating, and I came upon this one "a bitch ain't one" I wrote that pretty much sums up my feelings about being single. Sometimes it is in fact interesting to read what you thought and felt way back when.

Yo, these bookshelves are off the hook.


Back in the day when I was young I'm not a kid anymore but somedays I sit and wish I was a kid again
no wait wrong lyrics
back in the day when I was in college I liked this website. It's old so there's lotsa broken links. Still. Girls eating sandwiches.

Nine Inch Nails announces US tour dates!

Enjoy this whitest kids video:


Ooh and this video is also really funny: Cookin with Coolio

Saturday, March 29, 2008

fail

I look at myspaces of my exes.
Because I am a human with this weird ass internet tool.
And so I do what I am enabled to.

Just be stupid and look.
And so I looked at my ex, the major one who broke my heart hard and in a million stabbing pieces.
And it's incredible to remember how I felt then.
And that I don't feel any of that now. I don't hate him. I don't want him.
I'm happy for him and I'm happy for what happened. Not a cliche. I am happy that this happened as it has.
He found the person he belongs with, I can see from his myspace that he is engaged to the girl he cheated on me with.
And it doesn't hurt me but it sounds like something I should be hurt by.
I am talking about it here not because I need to convince anybody of it, but because what happened - big picture - is something that matters.
He saw me and knew I wasn't the one, and he saw her and knew she was. And so we ended even though we still loved each other.

It wasn't time for me.
When I ask myself about the purpose is of all these failed relationships.
I know one thing is true for all of them.
It matters that they failed.

Now is not the time for me.
And for all of that.

The years that followed that painful breakup were incredible. I don't think I'd have done the amazing things I've done if I was still with him. I wouldn't be the person I am.
Years later, it all makes sense, and it is good.

Yes, I am sad for the hurt that's happened over all the years with all the men.
Yes, I feel pain and missing.
But the craziness all makes sense.
A snowflake falls in a new spot and creates a sheet of snow. The random disorder closes in as a neat white mass.
And I am comforted.
And truly ok.
And living.

I'm still alive.
And it's fine.
Actually, I quite like it.

Friday, March 28, 2008

my tummy and head feel like major barflecopters

Dude, now that I ate this pizza I really want a nap. I've been saying at work today all day that I want a nap. I want a freakin nap. And I want Ecto Cooler.



Yo you know what's cool? Taking power drills to stuff. Just about anything. You gotta try it. And if you take a power drill to something that won't be damaged by the power drill, then it's still cool cause it's like when Mario runs into a wall and he's just running into nothing. God that is some funny shit isn't it? Stupid Mario. That is one dumb wop for real. Man I have a hangover. But I got buttloads more drinking to do this weekend. Me and my brainz are gonna have a good time.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Long before were the days when upcoming calls were pointed out only by automatic bell ringing or maddening singing electronic sounds.


art by Biklops

Last Evening
I originally had plans to meet a friend and fellow Top Chef fan for dinner at 24 Prince where Top Chef contestant Nikki is the head chef, but that was cancelled - so I went home and decided I'd get LOTs and LOTS of stuff done. Instead I just looked at dirty websites and messed around with this tshirt project I'll tell you about in due time. So I was happy when Raphael invited me out with his friends, a lovely lady with lots of dark makeup around her eyes (of which I am a fan), a vigorous French man, and an insightful German man who has a skylight that bothers him in the mornings. We had dinner at Lil Frankies- which is always reliable for atmosphere and being yummy, and then we dropped in on this new bar, National Underground, and this large party of people coming from a show at the Box came in to after party. I liked the whole bar, upstairs too with live music. I ran into Moby there (to whom I had been a bad friend and he assured me he was "too old to care") along with Julia Stiles, whose face is goddamn magnificent. Then after that we dropped by the Magician to wish Todd Barry a happy birthday and I had the occasion to meet musical comedy sensation Tim Minchin who referred me to this brilliantly hilariously written website/inspiration for today's title - just read the text (I'm pretty sure it's for real).

Now I don't always write about nice evenings nor do I name names, but I am mentioning this evening as a statement about going out in New York: It's better on weekdays, you never never know when they are going to happen, and as they are unexpected, yes you should get up off your bum more often. Sometimes it's nice when one thing leads to another leads to another.

I've been going out a lot more lately, and I find there is always something valuable to take away from every evening.
You can't enjoy the world without engaging in it. I hope more of you come out of hibernation as the nights get warmer and stickier.

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LOWERCASE LETTERS:
lowercasing is a style choice made my hipsters
it's a result of a computerized social culture
where text and fonts are part of style and fashion
where design's relevancy is evident in every keystroke
i think the prevelance of urls maybe also lends to the trendy trend
minimalist typographic personality
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I get indignant and use bad bad words in this short clip:


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If you like colorful and disturbing things, you'll like this.

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I love the composition of the new Breeders track "This Night of Joy" But I've only got the first 1:26 to share with you ... try to enjoy? pls ok thx

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

This is the funniest sexual harassment video spoof but this one below is also pretty damn funny, AND TOM BRADY IS IN HIS PANITES
drooooooooool
and the central joke is actually pretty damn funny

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

that tastes good doesnt it

Yesterday, after much anticipation, I got the final touches on my custom jeans from Mandate of Heaven. When I originally got em back they were a too big on, and I felt bad taking em back, but in the end it's all worth it cause they fit like a glove and they feel a lot more fabulous than any other jeans I've ever had.

If you click the picture you can see more pics of the cool jeans.
Carissa, the Mandate designer, told me I have a nice head. Which is good to hear because I am self conscious about my head because I feel I have far too much surface area there.

I saw Funny Games this weekend. I loved it. It's not grotesque or full of horror - it asks you to think, pay attention, and it's a very smart commentary on film making. The large message is asking you what you want to see, and asking you to question the elements of reality of a situation - how are characters emotionally impacted by the action? See it.


Another thing that was very fun is that this weekend was my first time in a real life fancy recording studio. mc chris was nice enough to ask me to say a line on his new cd. I was in good company! Also recording with Mr mc chris that evening were Andrew WK, Curtis and Gemberling, and some other funny UCB dudes, who I would name but I am afraid about misspellings.

Dolly Parton, whose show I'm seeing in May, went label free too! She's just such a cool lady.

Also, I was messing around with techology. I feel like a great powerful wizard with my abilities. To do simple things. Like I made this in a couple of seconds:
LL COOL J EATING A PEACH

EAT THE PEACH LL.
eat the peach
i bet that tastes good
doesn't it
yes
yes it does

Sunday, March 23, 2008

easter bunny featured on funny or die today

go check it out on the front page of funnyordie.com

finally mtv gives you some state videos

check it out
it's THE STATE. yeah i like that A LOT

PS- Word on the purpose behind the State's sketch reunion show: "According to Kerri, the show was basically a way for them to work on material for their Comedy Central History of the United States feature/movie/special."

Friday, March 21, 2008

7 minutes in heaven


1) thank god for this cause i f'ing love vhs tapes

2) pulled noodles sound cool

3) Marc Jacobs ad spoofs

4) One commenter makes the perfect comment about this Vogue photo special on perfect bodies:
Perfect male body= fit and healthy.
Perfect female body= emaciated and underweight.
Which does make me wonder. Women's bodies look so amazing when they eat normally, have some curve, go to the gym, and are also a little genetically blessed. Why aren't we seeing amazing healthy women's bodies rather than these concave obviously not eating model motherfukshers? Because it's not like a healthy and inshape body isn't hot. It so totally is. I feel guilty for eating more than I do for not exercising enough and I blame my culture for my brainwashing.

PS- swimmers.
swimmers
swimmers.


5) The State had a reunion show with the ENTIRE cast with new sketch material at UCB LA on March 15th. This is a really big deal. And it's really wonderful. It was described as "It was the funniest and tightest sketch show I’ve ever seen. Really fucking above and beyond, even for my favorite sketch group of all time." I'm whet.
(photo and quote from eric appel)

6) Savage put a deposit down on a trip to Bhutan in 2009 and now I have a deeply intense travel bug that is new and different- Because it's a really expensive one you play in installments. Which means now I am considering trips I would not have otherwise considered cause I couldn't afford them - but installments - sure! Also, she can go to other places aside from Bhutan so now we are brainstorming. Here's the list that got us excited. Tibet, Nepal, Columbia, Cuba, Antarctica and Laos have most captured my fancy.

7) A lovely and really well done guide to basic HTML learn in your brains

and PS:
"You Can Break Your Penis" - CBS News

For today's music we have 3 very different songs, all of which inspire fond memories: Nirvana- Lounge Act, Adagio for Strings, and the only Counting Crows song I like, Colorblind.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I got vernal equinox if you wanna try some

fuck yeah! the equilibrium of the earth!
moving on


this is my boyfriend's business card. he is greater than

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Gina made shoes! Silly Gina. No but really- I have a friend Gina who made some shoes! I don't know a lot of people who make shoes. It's quite impressive. She's having a party for her new vegan shoe line today on the Lower East Side. I'm not sure if the invite is open, but email me if you are interested in going and I'll see ...

Check out Gina's Cri De Coeur shoes.

I like these ones the best:


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John will make your website! My friend John will pimp your website at affordable rates - oooh! Check out his new site/service: http://happytappin.com/

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This link is NSF-dubs y'all! That means it's the best. Thank you fiesty/angsty Dave. The ladies in the pictures are having the most fun!

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You can view Hillary Clinton's schedules for the entire duration of the Clinton Presidency.

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There is a hip hop album with the best album title of album titles:
Kidnapper Van: Beats to Rock While Bike-Stealin'

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I really really like Silversun Pickups and they are my band of the moment.
This player has 15 songs in it. You might like them too. And then we can like them together! Oh it's so cute.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

standup show this thursday


i'm doin standup n providing for you a variety of things
Comix Ochi's Lounge
353 W 14th St
8pm

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

portishead makes nice for you

New Portishead set preorder out today! order here I love all this seemingly label free awesomeness. It makes record buying more exciting. And they are using USB flash drive instead of CD and you get songs and films that way - so cool!!!


also
am very very very happy
to FINALLY be making more progress on my book
I'd been writer's blocky and stumped so I focused a lot on writing other things, only dribbling out little peices
but over the past few days I've made considerable progress and it feels so nice

oh and also
check out these IV lamps by designer Christian Maas! cooool

Monday, March 17, 2008

sometimes when i am listening music while on the internet and doing other stuff
i just start clicking on stuff
it's happening more and more lately
like some for real zombie stuff
like getting lost on the net
or forwarding an email to the wrong person
or just being all up in a website where you weren't trying to be
it's internet retardation and it feels kinda funny
like when we burned the ropes in fire class

Sunday, March 16, 2008

New video! Happy Easter.



bunnies bunnies easter bunny bunnies!

Writer/Director: Heather Fink
Starring: Curtis Gwinn,
Heather Fink
Producer: Ben Joseph
Camera: Olivia Kuan
Editor: Ed Mundy
Boom: Stephen Fagen
V.O.: Nathan Kloke.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Crustacean

Lobsters give me boners.
They are delicious. And they are summertime.
DSC00143

I sent this video "It's a a Golden" to Stephen because I knew he would love it. His response:
OMfuckingG I LOVE GOLDENS!!!! rarararaaraha ahhhhhh!!!!! they're so cute and cuddly and loveable and happy!!! AAAAAAHHHHH my heart fucking explodes when i see them!!!!


MORE VIDEOS YOU SHOULD WATCH NOW

Chris Gethard as Darryl Strawberry

James Franco teaches you acting.

17 month old girl can read!
Smart little girls rule.

----
Bought these vintage 70s ray ban aviators off ebay. They are kinda amazing.


I love this -
Things That Make Men Proud
4. OPENING JARS - She’s struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn’t. Jars are men’s work.


Went to the first Gelmania, I recommend it. It's got that playful experimental bizarre energy that I prefer in my comedy shows. I do get bored of regular standup shows. Not that we don't need good ones, we do. But ... non-standard fare is tastier.

Ryan Adams has a blog! He stayed in Friday night too. Got things done. Just like me! I've always found weekend nights less interesting than weekday nights in New York City.

FUNNY GAMES
Finally, I find myself fascinated with the idea of the movie Funny Games. It looks great to me and I like everything I've read and seen about it - BUT I'm absolutely terrified. I can take action movie violence no problem, but I absolutely cannot take horror/terror. I get super afraid and am affected for days so I am not sure if I can watch this at all - so it makes me want to do research to see if I can handle it. Favorite thing I read about it is off imdb message boards (At this point, after this many blogs, I really do not care how much of a nerdbomber you think I am. I read fucking comic books and am proud. Anyway ...)
Funny Games is a shaming ritual for all those who love to see people get mutilated and their heads blown off in movies like Hostel. However, the violence in Funny Games is not graphically shown, but coldly realized.

Michael Pitt has always been a powerful actor. He made his first impact on me in "Bully." Seen him around the city a couple times. Once at the after party for Gus Van Sant's Kurt Cobain movie (which was held at Pianos a couple years back) and once at a Nine Inch Nails concert. Never saw him as sexy before, but he looks kinda hot in this.


enjoy new Portishead track

Friday, March 14, 2008

america is getting AWESOMER

lady gets famous awesome life cause she prostituted

YEAH AMERICA
high five yourself
sell yourself

do whatever!
git that fame

Thursday, March 13, 2008

For Your Man Feets

Listen men, this is important and I can't believe I haven't said anything about it sooner.

One thing that bothers me a great deal is physical discomfort. And so out of sheer empathy I CANNOT stand when men wear the wrong shoes for specific types of weathers. Men need to wear rain shoes when it rains or snows, and men need to wear flip flops when they are on the beach - END OF STORY!

I've been known to walk around in my socks, and stepping in a little drop of water and having wet sock is enough to get me so pissed off that I may even audibly voice my discomfort AND pout really hard. I hate wet socks. I can't stand when men wear their sneakers in the rain - it's just so damn unpleasant I want to cry. Everything would be so much better if they wore a rain boot. Then they'd be invincible on wet days. And so here are my suggestins for the men's rain boot.

The Timberland Men's Ripper

I like this all weather boot best of all I've seen. It comes in other colors.

Switchfoot Slip-On Oyster Canvas

A weather proof sneaker slip on that looks cool! Commme on boys, you need to have this now.

There's more out there. These are both from Timberland. Surf and snowboard companies have good choices too. If you are brave enough to sport a tall wellington, which only some guys can pull off - go classy with Hunter.


As for the flip flop, I have known many a man to whine and whimper about not liking the thong thingy in between their toes. But it drives me crazy to see sneakers on the beach. Socks and shoes are no place for sand. No place at all. Get used to the stupid flip flops. Try Havaianas. They are just like any other flip flop, but slightly more expensive, and therefore embraced by hip and fashionable people who need a more expensive version of the things they like. I wear them.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

you should really see this

hey come here take a look at this

this


this

and ...
and this


oh also see this


and this Australian Kotex Ad. It's about Beavers ...

Oh and also peep what Geraldine Ferraro said. She sounds like she's being completely reasonable and straightforward. I hate hate hate in politics how everything is all like mushy pees. Nothing real can ever be said and embraced. The only thing allowed are polished idealistic speeches benign enough to placate everybody. LAME.

You may know I once aspired to a life in politics and law because I wanted to change the world. Over time and exposure to both worlds, I decided that I could make the impact I want to make via art and not government. I want visionaries writing what I read and painting what I see. The world allows for that. I want the honest, strong, and straight forward running the foundations upon which my society is built. The world does not allow for that.

And so here is my conclusion:

art is where you change the world
government is where you maintain it


And as far as an America where women have more power, government lets me down with it's lack of women leaders and resistance to a woman president. BUT look at SNL. The women run the show. It is all them. And so here we can change perception about women's potential and ability to hold their own in a position of power, because comedy is largely about power. Who is making you laugh? The audience surrenders to the will of the performer, giving them permission to take them somewhere that they want to be. The laughing person allows themselves to be captivated and shown happiness ... the performer has the opportunity to give to that person. And these women are giving it, and giving it to them muy durable.

Here, a fun lil song about playas. I learned what a "player" was when I was 14. Any boy that is still a player, lies to himself. Adorable! As for the girls who fall for players, pay attention more. "let them lose their heart so you get to keep yours"

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

a kinder more compassionate world

I cleaned the hell out of my apartment, with my mom's help because "I'm still her baby girl" - that's right, not you. MEEEE I am my mom's baby girl the rest of u can suk it. She also says I am really special. BLAM y'all. I am a special baby girl - holllerrrr

Anyway. It feels so ... peaceful. The areas that were once not put away are now put away.

And I started exercising again. Hope I don't stop. I want a slammin rock hard ass and body. Assbody.


art by evah fan

FRIENDS MAKING ME THINK:
HOOKERS
Heather,
I'm curious to know your opinion - as a woman - as to why men pay for sex with hookers when sex from their partners is available...
---
Hmm. Well, I think it varies for each situation. I think the person is genuinely not sexually satisfied in some way- he greatly wants something he isn't getting, whether its a fetish, new pussy, a feeling of power (I think that's a common reason), a thrill ... Maybe he feels he needs more sex, or at that moment, and a woman isn't available.

But I will say I can't begin to understand longterm monogamy or what that is like. I have been satisfied and in love for a year or a couple years- and I would say in those relationships, to be with someone else means something is wrong with the relationship in some way - but I don't know if that's true after a couple has been together for over 10 years. I don't know what that's like or what anything means over so much time.
- Heather
---
I also think there's something undeniably exciting (for a man) about exchanging money (inanimate, abstract) and seeing a woman undress and make herself available, sexually. It's such a loaded exchange (in terms of power), on both sides. Rarely in daily life are human interactions so formalized, the roles so well-defined.

I think my excitement around it (on the few times I've done it) is fascination with that aspect...
- From my friend
----
So you get off on the power and exchange - it objectifies the act a great deal. It's becoming a commodity and you are stripping away the intimacy/human connection. It's got nothing to do with love at this point at all. If a couple were to role play this way, part of the excitement would be to make the act about sex only - sex without love, without even the human interaction needed to create a one night stand.

I do understand that there is something specific about the experience, and that some men might desire it. There's a lot to be learn in the act of sex and the different ways it can happen.

But some people desire certain aspects of sex more or less. Some men might feel sleazy paying for sex and not get off on it. Some men might be into it.

You must enjoy the power play and the objectification of the act. If you do it more than once, perhaps you fetishize those feelings. I understand why you like it. But people like many things that are bad for them. I'd say paying for sex might be bad for your heart and your soul ... maybe not. It depends what you care about and who you want to be in life.
- Heather

SEARCHING FOR MEANING AMOUNTS TO A DESIRE FOR COMPASSION?
I was having a conversation with a friend today about how much I struggle to find meaning in all that happens in life - because, especially when life can be cold or painful - without meaning - the pointlessness of life's colder moments - makes me want to puke and die and all of that.

When life seems meaningless, it just seems like the higher powers are being smug and making you feel powerless - like no matter how much you try to do everything right, you can still fail.

And he asked me - what do you want?
Meaning, if I had that power. And so then I realized what I want.
me: why must life remind you of your powerlessness? that no matter how hard you work to do everything right in life you still may not be able to get what you want?
Him: do you really want that much power
with power comes responsibility
me: its just an arrogant god
Him: what is it that you want?
me: a kinder more compassionate world


Christian Bale got all super crazy skinny for the Machinist.
The Machinist was so haunting that I almost couldn't watch it. And then I read Ebert's review, which contained a paragraph, also haunting, and unusual from a film review.
We get up in the morning in possession of certain assumptions through which all of our experiences must filter. We cannot be rid of those assumptions, although an evolved person can at least try to take them into account. Most people never question their assumptions, and so reality exists for them as they think it does, whether it does or not. Some assumptions are necessary to make life bearable, such as the assumption that we will not die in the next 10 minutes. Others may lead us, as they lead Trevor, into a bleak solitude. Near the end of the movie, we understand him when he simply says, "I just want to sleep."

And just because: a much more fun Bale Photo:


This Terminator 2 Swede is a hilarious retake on my favorite movie for a Be Kind Rewind competition. Seriously.

---
Last night Michael Showalter and TJ Miller stopped in as last minute performers on Street Meat. They were amazing. All of our performers were. And the crowd was packed - but Adam and me had weaker banter, and the energy in the crowd was less warm than usual. Still, I love that show, and it picked up as it went along.

Here's a nice one from Team Sleep, same frontman as Deftones:

What's going on here?

Why has this blog lasted almost 4 years now?
Well I guess I continually get really excited about stuff and have to tell everybody about it.
And then there's thoughts that wanna come out of me and get into you.

Monday, March 10, 2008

You Lack Discipline.

Street Meat is tonight! Click on the colorful thing below to find out about the guests and the bands n stuff.


Adam was on Tyra last week. He put the video on Youtube and then this fan made him a video and it's the best video ever at least this morning. You must watch!

I am quoted in this article about M Lucas in The New Republic

2 OLD BUT GOOD HUMOROUS MP3 EXPERIENCES
- Arnold Calls Hooters

-
a Jerky Boys prank call to a hospital.


And finally, the more I watch this Tim and Eric/ Zach Galifianakis Absolut Vodka video, the more I love it.

Find more videos like this on aspecialthing

Although the moment where he overreacts about the heat in the hottub seemed to similar to some old Stella video moments, I found it more endearing as it went on.

This weekend one of my favorite things I did was go to a small house party with bands in the middle of nowhere Brooklyn. I heard about it via this band Forest Fire I really like who will be playing at May's Street Meat. Another favorite band which blonde Adam pointed out played with surprising skill and precision was called Naked Hearts.



Finally, here's Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. It's just about the most heartwrenching emo song out there.

Friday, March 07, 2008

this is the sound that a wet favre mouth makes


hello

Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails are rumored to be headlining Lollapalooza in Chicago. I am not sure this is true. Reznor said something about not touring again until Bush is out of office. Not sure if that's for real either. But, it does make me wish I wasn't using up all my vacation days on Hawaii and Israel. Would love to go to Chicago too and also perform out there. Not possible! Sigh. No complaints. Hawaii and Israel will be beyond worthwhile experiences. Plus I think I found a place to perform in Maui. Wowee.


My favorite NIN Ghosts Track - 28.

Sigur Ros releases a full length feature film on Youtube! I didn't know this was even possible. They are pretty fantastic and I am honestly amazed to see a full length feature on youtube. So f'ing crazy how fast the world turns.

Brett Favre cries like a man. I appreciate this, aside from his oversensitive microphone capturing the sounds of his mouth wetness.


My friends are cool!
- Seth Colter Walls writes about NIN for Newsweek
- Neil Janowitz talks to kids who say funny things for ESPN

Question: Can someone explain to me why Michigan and Florida held illegal primaries in the first place and what their reasoning was? Anybody? It's very very weird and suspicious! That doesn't seem like something that should have happened at all.

Here's 2 tracks I'd like you to enjoy:

SeeqPod - Playable Search
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Street Meat is Monday. Here are details.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Slow going at first, but Will Arnett's dirty talk in this Human Giant video is some of the best dialog ever written.



It gets good around 1 min 25 seconds ...

Update - I got really dorky about this. Some of these lines are so f'ing priceless I had to write them down. Enjoy my favorite lines from this video. I do think they need to be weaved into all of your vernaculars:
All this talk about abortion is making me super wet, you wanna hop out on the dance floor?

Oh Mary Kate, you got my balls wound up so tight.

I got a pant full of bone right now.

Let's go back to my hotel room I've got to Nut.

Oh god I'm going to impregnate your mouth.

I'm gonna babysit your vagina.

We've known each other for a long time ever since she was a kid - and now she's hot and I'm gonna bang her.

I can't believe my dick just barfed that much.

Hang on let me just ask my boner.

This is Austrian porn. If you do the heat wrap and the burn creme chaser, it makes you come at the same time as the dude.

Don't you dare just read those quotes. Will Arnett's delivery on it are what makes it perfectos.

Touch and Chemistry

You could say that I have a voracious sexual appetite. But I am very selective with whom I'd like to share this hunger. Even if a man is good looking, I still need some kind of natural chemistry on top of that. My body just shuts down and my legs clench tight at the thought of being touched by a person with whom I have no chemistry.

Moreover, when I've developed a physical bond with someone over time, I become mentally physically monogamous at a point. This takes time to develop. I am able to enter into more than one physically intimate relationship at a time without a problem, but once I've established a closer intimacy with someone, I can no longer enjoy a physical encounter with someone else.

For example, when you are getting over someone, it's hard to enjoy kissing a new person. I mean things like that.

And when you are getting over someone, you miss the person, and very specifically obsess about their touch.

I think the most natural thing to want and dwell on is the desire to be hold and kiss that person again, and of course also sleep with them.

This is just one way that Touch and Chemistry are so fascinating. The hand holding and cuddling that physical intimacy lends itself to are extremely personal and powerful forms of connecting with another person. When you have created that sort of bond, it is very painful to miss it - and you desire that kind of touching again.

And so I find myself especially fascinated with the idea of touch. I know that babies and kittens and puppies need to be handled and touched regularly in order to develop properly. I know that there is an innate human need for the other or others in society. I know that there is an idea of romantic love and companionship in life. I know that sex is a kind of hunger that motivates and needs to be fulfilled.

Perhaps we need to be loved and cared for. Perhaps intimate, caring touching are the body's way of externalizing (and then internalizing) kindness.

And so that makes me believe there is a need for kindness, and that kindness is a form of human capital - a thing which we possess and can choose to give and share.

With maturity I think we learn that kindness is the way to go. There's a lot of life lessons that will may lead a person to bitterness, harboring hate that translates into bad natured behavior; and then there's life lessons which point to the simple truth that kindness and doing the right thing are a good idea.

I suppose it's important not to covet kindness and become selfish when you more strongly desire someone physically. Kindness and touching should be enjoyed and should be part of what makes the world a better place.

Which does not help the pain felt in the absence of touch. Especially after you have had this intimacy in your life. Ignorance certainly helps here.

I believe pain is motivation. And so, if a breakup with someone where there was meaningful intimacy causes pain, then perhaps such a breakup would make you a better person. A new desire to be intimate and invite kindness into your life should manifest.

Often this is not the case. Often people become bitter, shut themselves off, grow hateful, self-destructive, damaged, obsessive, or selfish when they are heartbroken. When this happens, it is hard to understand breakups or the purpose of failure and failed relationships.

I'm really not sure, but the power and absence of touch are extremely compelling motivations. We are captivated by sex and the desire to be held and touched in an intimate and loving way. If this is somehow related to a drive towards kindness and compassion, then I think I understand. To hold and not to break.

PIMP Braham Lincoln

Hello. I am in this video written/directed by Victor Varnado:




Check it out ...

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

no matter what happens today



Thank you hero woman for everything you have done
crossing the fingers that it's not over.

At least allowing me to dream about a world where you could be president.
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Monday, March 03, 2008

more daytime television programming

today on the way back from lunch, people from the montel williams show stopped and asked me questions for the montel williams show

the asker was a dork

he was not montel
montel is not a dork, he is a visionary

he asked "if you were president what would you do"

and so I said
"I would have a big party to celebrate that I was the president of the united states of america"

and he was all like "what about taking care of the country and important issues"

and I was all like "yeah, ok I can do that after the party is over"

and he asked me something about inviting paris hilton and I said no way, I am going to invite all my awesome friends and we are going to have lots of fun.

DUH!
So maybe that will be used on Montel. Maybe not.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

yeah!

New Nine Inch Nails Instrumental- Ghosts! OMG thank goodness. The last album sucks and this reminds me more of the Fragile, my favorite album. So far my favorite track is 28 Ghosts IV. There's free download of some songs. DO IT UP.


Sigh, I dated a guy that looks kinda like a taller bearded Reznor. And he reads my blog, and then texts me about it, and then when I try and be friends he just sends creepy messages. Hey you. I know you are reading this. All I want is nachos you freak.

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This old video from Cracked Out (Brett Gelman and Jon Daly) is my new favorite comedy video. Rapzilla/Gelman (on the right) is also the "Little Bit of Luck" guy that everyone finds so annoying - but for whoever doesn't know already - he's not annoying and very funny in real life!

Cracked Out's Cracktion Movie:

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This new Justice video features old school movie/tv logos and it's mesmerizing.



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Beautiful, lovable Marion Cotillard says something really stupid and I don't know why she would say such a silly thing:
"We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes. Are they burned? They [sic] was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burnt for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there [in New York], in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed...It was a money-sucker because they were finished, it seems to me, by 1973, and to re-cable all that, to bring up-to-date all the technology and everything, it was a lot more expensive, that work, than destroying them."

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Yeah!

DAYTIME SAVINGS THIS SUNDAY MEANS SUN GOES DOWN AT 7PM
i have never wanted this more
i CANT WAIT!!!!
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In other news - I think I am going to Israel this summer with Newman on one of those free Birthright Israel trips, and also am getting a beach house the week of labor day. Holler LBI ...