Monday, June 02, 2008

I'm pretty excited about all of this

I was lying on my bed feeling like a million dollars thinking, goddamn it I am fucking grateful.
For all of this.
I get sad and cry plenty cause I am an emotional woman and I can't keep my shit together sometimes.

So - I'm not super successful or rich or in love, but I am pretty damn satisfied with what I do have.
This weekend I partied too hard so my brains were useless on Saturday and Sunday during the day.
But on Sunday my parents visited me and helped me with my apartment, getting it ready for the summer. They brought up my airconditioners, beach chairs for the roof, and this tempurpedic memory foam thing that goes on top of my mattress. It feels heavenly. I was lying on my bed feeling it, all the simple niceness.

Nothing is perfect.
Nothing is finished being accomplished.
Nothing is certain.

AND IT'S GREAT

I am turning a totally lame age on June 10th - 27. Who cares about that? But it's really kind of awesome right now.
I've been struggling with different things lately - but here's what I do have
FUN
and
MAKING THOSE VIDEOS seriously that makes me so happy
and
KICKASS FRIENDS
and
TINY NYC APARTMENT
and
DAMMIT I am getting my groove back about the whole being single and having fun thing
my explorations are so not over
and
ALL THIS OTHER STUFF THAT IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD

I have everything I need.
The little pleasures are that much more pleasurable
Nothing is perfect, finished, or certain

But I am blessed
and damn grateful

who gives a fuck about occasional tears?
i can afford them
go ahead life, shit on me
i'll be just fine

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