Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Bit from last night's Street Meat

I had a great time last night! Here's a bit I wrote for the show. I'd love to make this into a video, but I can't afford to right now, so I'll just share it with you here:
Heather - Hi, I'm Montel Williams (talking like an infomercial lady)

Rob - No you're not

H - Hi, I'm Montel Williams, and I'm here to tell you about an
exciting new offer in these exciting and historic times

R - Oh wow, that sounds great

H - I'm here to offer you the Obama Commemorative Cream Set.
What a better way to honor our new leader's Historic Victory than with
this 3 cream set.

R - Wow, that 3 cream set is an excellent way to honor the president, Montel.

H - This set comes with 3 comforting creams
in one convenient case
- a lemon chiffon Cream spread
- a warming night time face lotion
- and a traditional cows milk cream from hawaiian cows, the motherland
of our new leader

R- Those are my favorite creams

H - Your entire family can basque in the warmth and comfort provided
by this Obama Commemorative Cream Set

R - My family loves all creams

H - The Obama Lemon Chiffon Cream Spread will remind you of Obama's
kind eyes as you apply it to your favorite morning scones and muffins.

R - Obama's eyes are the kindest eyes I've ever seen, that sounds great.

H- The Obama warming night face lotion will moisturize your face in
the softness of Obama's gentle touch. Your face will feel like
Obama's warm soul.

R - That sounds like a dream.

H - The Obama Hawaiian Cows Milk Cream will allow you to taste your
president and fill your body with his honorable presence as you drink
it down.

R - Is it also nutritional?

H- It has the same nutritional value of god if god were in liquid form.

R- Wow Montel Williams, that's really nutritious.

H - Exactly. You have to act now - these are limited edition creams.
We only made 100 sets and the Hawaiian cream cows were destroyed after
making these creams.
And that's not all, you also get this certificate of authenticity so
that you know your creams are real.

R - Isn't that the piece of paper you farted on back stage?

H - Montel Williams farts authenticity, Rob.

R- Wow, how can I get these 3 amazing Obama creams?

H - You just have to give me $120 dollars. A small price to pay to
honor our nations president.

R - Everybody thank Montel Williams!

H - Good luck with your show, Rob.

Rob and I with Obama Commemorative Cream Set

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