Thursday, February 26, 2009


Boy oh boy how I used to love Brak, invented in the mid 90s. Without Space Ghost Coast to Coast (Brak's origin) there would be no Adult Swim. And I'm pretty certain this show was a precursor to shows like Tim and Eric, and Aqua Teen. So thank him. And don't touch him.

More Brak:
- I Love Beans
From the show -
- Space Ghost - Brak's Tales Of Suspense - Milk
- From the Brak Show

And these things!
I interviewed this woman with 2 baginers a long time ago. Just remembered about her. She had a blog called "box set."

Stilts! by Rob Lathan (with an especially humorous appearance from Will Hines)

A new Kerri Kenney series on My Damn Channel!

Phil Hartman's original SNL audition.

Man heard discussing his firms' layoffs, then it was blogged about.

Destroyer - Painter in Your Pocket mp3

YUMTIME Amazing dessert discovery: mix equal parts ricotta cheese and whipped cream together! I used part skim ricotta, it was amazing - topped with berries and agave nectar (honey would be good too)

Here's a picture from a recent dinner party that I hosted in a basement in Bushwick:

Monday, February 23, 2009

Weekend Highlights, and my Wrestler hero Tito

I quite enjoyed this weekend.

Friday night I modeled in Mandate of Heaven's fall 2009 Fashion show - and I tripped and fell (as witnessed by Angel Lust PR)! But let me tell you - that was a lot of fun. I am not comfortable with strutting my stuff - being goofy on stage is fine, but not being sexy on purpose. Walking the catwalk makes me so nervous! I tripped on some wires, it was quite a spill and kinda funny too. I got up and the audience clapped - that was the perfect thing to make me feel relaxed, laugh, and have more fun.

Afterwards I ate cheetos and danced.
snack party

The next night I performed a character at UCB Theatre in the show - "High School Talent Show" (UPDATE - we will be performing this as part of my act - I'll also be doing standup - this Sunday March 1st at Santos Party House)
performing "doll parts" at UCB theatre with adam on his fender jazzmaster
I would desribe this character as a maladjusted, very awkward teen girl who has lots of emotions and wants to be goth and release her anger. She sings Doll Parts and in the middle of the song she yells out some various teen rage.

Adam played guitar and was very silent but still plenty angsty in his silence.
He's a lot of fun to include in comedy projects because by all means he is not a performer. You can't duplicate that kind of fun newbie energy with a seasoned performer.

My weekend also had Papa Johns in it. That morning I called papas many times before they opened and was so delirious by the time the pizza arrived I seriously overtipped. It felt so good inside my gin and tonic weakened tummy. That made for a perfect morning.


Martha had a "pot themed show"
- entire thing riddled with hilarious double entendres.

I recently brought friends to my home town to experience the wonders of Roxbury NJ, and snowtubing. One of those wonders is Mr. Tito Santana.

Here is a NY Times write up about him.

My favorite Tito Santana story is this:
One day in the high school cafeteria, my friend Chrissy asked me who I was going to get a ride down the shore with after the prom. I was all like "dude, I don't know." She thought I was being a bitch about about it, and so she got all in my face like - what do you think you're better than me? And then I was like WTF, and she had her big fake prom nails on and took a swipe at me and scratched up my face with those lovely nails. Tito was monitoring the lunch room and everybody started chanting "Tito! Tito! Tito!" Tito broke up the fight and sent us to the principals office. Me and Chrissy laughed and made up. She was stressed out and it was a misunderstanding. The drawing of blood was an understandable manicure related accident.

Another fond Tito memory is that we high school seniors had an event called "wrestlemania." High school seniors paired up and wrestled - some as jokes and some for real. Many students made costumes. My BFF Kim and I dressed up quite inappropriately as teenagers are want to do - as "T and A." She was "T", I was "A" - you do the math. She won because I have very little physical strength and Kim played sports. Tito invited real 80s wrestlers to our school to put on a show. It was a pretty awesome thing to happen in my small town.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Male models in their model apartment, read more

The Dutch government is against me because of sexism, but only before 1985.

The description of Must Read After My Death and trailer

Gil Ozeri is a guest on March 16th's Street Meat at Cake Shop. He is quite funny and well known for some hilarious phone sex prank calls he made years ago. They are great!:
- "I'm into Clippy..."
- "I'm into Jewish Mother Stereotypes..."
- "I'm into Old-Timey Barbers..."
- "I'm into Clowns..."


Upcoming shows:
- 2/21/09: This Saturday at UCB theatre at Midnight, I'm performing a funtime character with Adam Good as guitar backup. The show is called High School Talent show - and here you make reservations.
- 3/1/09: hosted by Andrew WK, click poster to buy tickets

- 2/20/09: walking the runway Friday in this fashion show.

I have also agreed to host/MC my high school reunion in September. Interesting yes?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

NIN Hiatus

Trent Reznor said NIN should end soon - and he gives some great perspective on the state of music. I agree - NIN should take a break or end. I love seeing him tour and hope to see another show this year - but NIN isn't what it used to be, and I'd rather Trent Reznor make songs only when he feels especially inspired, and grow old and do other cool creative things here and there.

I also prefer to preserve the treasures of my youth- such as the Terminator movies, and I really don't appreciate the "Sarah Connor Chronicles" more like the Suckicles. Right?!

After all, what would Nirvana be today? Beastie Boys transformed, and I'm grateful for the music they've made, but I'm glad they've stopped too. Radiohead shouldn't make too many albums either, only when they know they've got it just right - as they have done.

And let's all be grateful that Dave Matthews Band can remain the saccharine slow jam of high school proms, and not be some band that is still trying to make it with the new generation.

In other music news:
I'm seeing Sonic Youth in May, and saw Grizzly Bear on Valentines Day.

Click here and scroll down to read more about this music video "Sunday" by Sonic Youth, starring Macaulay Culkin in 1998 with his then wife, Rachel Miner, directed by Harmony Korine.

The Silversun Pickups are coming out with a new album soon.

Look at this year's Sasquatch lineup! That would be a great place to see NIN perform.

an image of the Gorge

PS - Non musically related. Here is evidence of some things I did this weekend, most notably - snow tubing with Adam, Annemarie, and Stephen.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I've done these things recently:
- Sledded on the east river
- Drove a wine bottle opener through a small lime
- Performed on a Street Meat where a committed heckler was loud, proud, and not very funny
- Held a boom mike
- Enjoyed being on a video set not as a performer or director, but as a faggy purposeless girlfriend
- Cleaned my room so intensely that I can actually see my closet floor, and shirts are organized by type of sleeve
- Learned KNIFE SKILLS! at the Brooklyn Kitchen - highly recommended, we learned great cooking tips aside from knife alone
- Modeled in my underpants for a photoshoot, but it was not sexy, in fact, it was humorous and Sears catalog-esque
- Interviewed for a job in the building where my mom works OMG
- About to perform some comedy for a show tonight with acoustic emo bands at Angels and Kings

And some other things.

Enjoy your long weekends if you have them and for flips sake, ENJOY your Valentines days. Stop with these broken heart poetry slamming omg I'm single, or if you're in a couple, stop with these elaborate and painful overpriced 15 course pre-fixe dinners. Just ENJOY! Give extra kissies. Eat pink cookies and cupcakes. Flowers, great for you or him or her. They are always nice. Eat chocolates anyways. Never forget 9-11, and more importantly never forget how to HAVE FUN.

I liked this:

Comedy show that I'm doing hosted by Andrew WK at Santos is moved to March 1st. Should be pretty cool.

Please yes do stimulate me for real.

Time out NY's "dating in NY" - so I personally know the comedy people and porn people in there and some of those folks (lets be honest not all of them) are very attractive physically and personally - as for the rest, um, er. Sorry. Props for putting yourselves out there.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


First things first:
R.I.P. Bear Hands
After 3 years of service, I lost my bear hands gloves at the No Ordinary Monkey party because it was entirely toooo dark in there! Boo.

I won't simply buy another pair. I'm moving on to a new phase of life and will most likely buy something elegant and ladylike for a refined 2010 winter. That is if the economy hasn't already eaten my elegance and ladyparts.

- also, I like: The Things We Saw from John Witherow's blog

Friday, February 06, 2009

I saw Conan O Brian live yesterday!

I went to one of the last tapings of Conan O Brian yesterday (thanks to a hookup from Miss Mandy Stadtmiller) with Sartorialist Nathan:

sartorialist nathan
that jacket! shirt! shoes! he knocked this one out of the park and simply had to be photographed as such

He is normally just Klokeee Nathan, collector of fine jpegs like

remote controlled penis helicopter that somebody launched at a Russian political event

and beartable

It was a delightful *and free* experience I was very happy to have. Conan O Brian is a flawless performer and capable as all hell. The writing on his show is fresh and all around solid. I'm surprised that such a mainstream show can consistently write killer bits on the regular. I hope his writing team stays with him in LA.

Brian Williams was especially impressive as a guest. Conan and Brian had an incredible back and forth that was so smooth it could have been scripted. Hilarious stuff.

Later we tried to get free drinks at soho art galleries but one was too crowded and the other was too neon. So instead there were burgers and beers in the warm and cosy Non-Tribecca-Like-In-A-Good-Way, Nancy Whiskey.

And today nothing especially good happened but I did make some mulled red wine with apples, lemon juice, cinnamon, raw sugar, and honey. It's in my mouth and on the stove being all magical.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

February Show Calendar

Street Meat
Uniquely fun Character Comedy Show
Hosted by Heather Fink and Rob Lathan
Cake Shop, 152 Ludlow St
with these great character performers:
- Esther Ku (NBC's Last Comic Standing)
- Eliot Glazer (Urlesque, the Apiary)
- Brooke Van Poppelen and Joselyn Hughes (Chicago, UCB)
- Nick Ross (UCB Harold Team)
- Jason Trachtenburg of the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players!
Cheap beers and great funtimes.

Hosting/Standup @ Angels and Kings
8-10pm, there's an open bar at 7, live emo rock music

CLUCK CLUCK! hosted by Andrew W.K.
Santos Party House

Walking runway in Mandate of Heaven Fashion Show for Williamsburg Fashion Weekend at Glasslands. If you're a fashion industry oriented person, let me know!

Performing a character in High School Talent Show at UCB Theatre, midnight; with backup guitar from Adam Good

I am the gold medal winner of bong hits

In case you didn't already read these comments about Michael Phelps.
And in case you didn't already hear the Mae Shi's remix of Bale's freakout.

This past weekend I was very happy because I was part of a very special surprise for a very special man, thanks to his sister. My bff Stephen hates his birthday, and I had to listen to him go on about how he isn't into them or the attention or presents - RIGHT BEFORE taking him to be surprised by his sister, some friends, and a cake with candles. But guess what - he was both surprised and he liked it anyways!

- I like these current Hollywood photos.

- Good Neighbor Stuff is a male comedy trio from LA and I think their videos are good. Check em out. (Haven't seen them all but I liked the top 2 a lot.)

- This weekend there will be
"Sledding on a 70-foot long Snow Flume (line closes at 3:30 p.m.)"
I'd get up early to hit that.

- Although I might be up late the night before because of this dance party at a Chinatown strip mall. 5th anniversary party for No Ordinary Monkey.

- Here is a spreadheet of rockstars with Twitters.

- Sara Benincasa does a nice Anne Hathaway. Good job!

- Trevor Williams is a great dude. Here he is in a CarMax commercial.

- I want to go to the Farm on Adderley some time.

- Here you can get tickets for the next comedic Gossip Girl event on which I am a guest. Tickets usually sell out in 48 hours so go for it!

Song of the day -
Radiohead - Last Flowers (off the bonus CD from In Rainbows)

My Personality is the Tall Man Slouching

I had a boyfriend who was 6'5" and he developed a permanent slouch. Tall and handsome, but completely uncomfortable with being all the way up there.

I'm nervous about who I am too.

Being extreme and grandiose is something I've been able to do easily and naturally. I was born this way. I like when it wins me praise and helps me achieve, but otherwise I'm afraid that this power ostracizes me and excludes me from something else that I want - which is not to stand out and be celebrated. It's to be accepted and included.

After 27 years of knowing myself, I realize that I have a lot of anger and difficulty when it comes to exclusion.

My biggest anger is that I'm excluded from being male. I want that power. Freedom. Camaraderie. I want to be one of the guys and I want to be in on that joke. Then there's comedy. I've never been great at collaboration. A former comedy partner of mine is doing well collaborating with someone else, and I can't help but feel left out. He was never that kind or accepting with me. In college I never got into the comedy group there so I started my own. Sometimes I'm not sure if I want a boyfriend, or if I want to be that man. I'm half Jewish, half American, and I'm weird, right? Just kind of weird, and I would have liked to be in that group. I would have liked to know what it's like to be something comfortable.

There's plenty of voices in this world telling you to Think Different and embrace weird. Sometimes weird works. Sometimes weird is what it takes.

But I'm aware of it.
Too aware.

And at every turn I'm afraid.
I don't want to be excluded. So I slouch.
I can't help it at this point.
If you see me socially I might be crippled and silent. I find that when I perform improv I constantly apologetically hold back because I'm afraid of what I have in me. It takes a lot of coddling and comfort for me to be how I really am. If you see me get crazy, silly, or crude, it's because I trust you. Or I really like you. Or you just make me feel comfortable. Some people I know would be surprised that I'd ever be shy at all. And I could imagine that I have a lot of making up to do for the loud mouth I was in high school. But people do forget the details of high school anyhow. We're just silhouettes of the big moments.

I'll bet you can relate to this in some way, right? I'm not sorry for who I am, nor do I find myself pitiful or sad- I better not or else these words would mark me all too publicly vulnerable.

I like to be embraced. Fully embraced. Not just there, not fighting to be there.
Wrapped in tight warm forgiving arms.

I'm fighting so much my muscles are stronger than the rest of me.

Monday, February 02, 2009

so this is what I look like when I HAVE a job

ahhh nice
thanks Frank for reminding me!

PS - I have a show tonight at Sound Fix (Williamsburg, Brooklyn, I'm doing standup)
and the next Street Meat is Monday - please come :)