Monday, March 30, 2009

NEW VIDEO: Carmel Commercial Redux Spoof - Wait Till End!



Just a little something fun I whipped up with help from friends Trevor Williams and Dan Zimmer.
Someone please rent my apartment!

I am having unfortunate misfortunes here.

Otherwise, weekend was alright. I puked cause of alcohol parties! And tried Motorino pizza, man it is outta sight.

And I checked out Bruar Falls, the newborn brooklyn cousin of Cake Shop. I love those guys.

Been finding time to twit cause that's majorly mobile you know? So if this web experience isn't rich enough, see if you can find sustenance there.

STREET MEAT is MONDAY APRIL 6
AND THE FINAL MONO Y MONO IMPROV SHOW IS TOMORROW!!!

Jesus is spanking you when you get bit up by bees after hitting at a beehive with a bat! (thanks for the pic Diana Saez!)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I saw the elephants. It was both exciting and sad. The most fun was to run with the elephants up 34th street. The least fun was to feel sad for their captivity.

Had an improv show on Tuesday and I felt bad about my performance. I know it's "no big deal," but it's **never easy** to walk off a stage after you know you sucked.

!



also

FUCKBURGER

Yesterday was a day full of deep displeasures.
- I stood in that cold line from 5:40 to 7:40 to sign up for UCB Harold Auditions - it put me in such a bad mood!
I estimate that there were 300 auditioners for 14 spots, ah the spirit of competition! With interviews, apt finding, school applying to and such - it seems capitalism begs us to compete left and right, eh?
RELATED This article about Ambition from 2005 and I'm an addict for achieving

- I treated myself to a cab so I could make this event that had free drinks and food - I took it to 371 lex instead of 731 lex like a dumbass! So I took 2 fucking cabs! The security people in the building were dumb forks and I had to go
through like 4 of them UFFF!
I missed the free drinks and food. BUT it was in the Bloomberg Building.
Bloomberg Building of the future
- which is a crazy space age rocket ship fantasy planet from the future. There are insane free snack stations for employees (I took some) and a spiral escalator - one of 2 in the world. Forking fancy job having jerks in their awesome office!
Spiral Escalator

Because I was feeling shitty, I decided I would finally try the famous
bone marrow dish at Allen and Delancey - recommended to me ages ago by Top Chef's Spike who knows his meat dishes, and THIS WEEK the chef decides he is bored of making it - it's off the menu. Instead I can get a fancy pigs ear. I DONT WANT A FUCKING PIGS EAR I WANT TO EAT THE OVERPRICED MARROW OF A COW dammit. I failed at luxurizing for the night. It was a sign that the gods don't want me to be wasteful with my money, not even for a moment.


Next week I will be having a free fancy dinner from Jeffrey's because I am unemployed! Jeffrey is the best! Positive energy lives and breathes in this NYC dreamland place. I love it here. LOVE IT like a hippy and their tempeh bacon.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Ok ... it's time to blog.

like old school blogger blog style circa 2004 - I aint talkin no tumblrtwitted game dog.

So much has happened in the past couple of days and I haven't properly absorbed it all. Got very big news about my life on Thursday. Not announcing it here though. Not yet.

But here's a fact: I have to move out of my apartment - not out of New York, but I just must find a cheaper place. Moving is a big deal. Been hectic and busy with thought of trying to both sublet my place and find a new one.

My friend got roofied on Thursday night. That was a doozy. We went to an event with free drinks around 9:30. We both arrived sober. By the time she had her 3rd drink she was strangely super drunk very quickly. At first I thought it was funny yet bizzare. I saw her talking to a weird man at the bar who was very touchy feely and I think it was him. I was with another male friend at the time. We left this bar around 11 to walk across town and head to Williamsburg for a party. My female friend kept getting louder and drunker, yelling at people, walking sloppy. We thought - woah weird! And decided to get her some pizza and water. While at the pizza place she puked a couple of times and had a very hard time walking. We thought we would get her a cab. Once we put her into the cab, she could no longer move or feel her legs. (the next day she said she blacked out while in the cab) We carried her up into her apartment and put her in bed. She could not walk or move much and puked more when we got there. Crazy crazyness. This happened to another friend of mine in January. Pretty upsetting stuff - but I am happy both friends ended up safe with friends and brought home.

The highlight of my weekend had to be the spontaneous music video shot between Adam, Annemarie and I on Saturday afternoon on my roof. More images and video to come!

cigar

DSC04345

Stuff I liked recently:
- "I've Loved You So Long"
- excellent well made movie, uniquely emotionally real. About a sad subject, but it's not sad - it's more life affirming and about the complexities of humanity.
- Love both Boy By Band of Outsiders clothing - and I love Sarah Silverman - AND they've been combined!

- NEW Tori Amos
- And I adore Terry Richardson's ability to show what Blair would look like while S'ing major D.


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Another Mono Y Mono show added for March 31st

So I thought we were gonna perform improv at UCB NYC last night, but then drunken hysteria exploded the theatre so hard that the night had to end early and all shows were cancelled. Two performers had a bit too much drunken fun and found themselves in ambulances. I do hope they are fine, and my guess is they are by now.



So, we have another show Tuesday March 31st! Come all over the place!

PS - a photo from last night:
the economy made me do it

The Economy did make me do it. I know Sara C would kill me for it. Click image for explanation if you're not following the context clues.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

each minute contains an enormity of possibility
and opportunity
and most particles of opportunity tempt me
poke at me
interrupt my zen
and so i chase and chase
and then there are bold swirls everywhere
so many polluted square feet
chaos is asking me so many questions
obligations
to fulfill or else
or else i'm just afraid
of what will happen without
because i do
always do
really want
to win

Monday, March 16, 2009

Stuff I did and liked:
- Saw Dana Tai Soon Burgess & Co perform Hyphen and Mixed Reptoire with K Sloan of the Winger. I invited her since she was once a dancer ballerina and thought she might appreciate it. It was GWU alumni thing and I realllly loved having free drinks and snacks and seeing something I'd otherwise probably not see. The dance performance was beautiful. I can't believe how bodies can move like that. I think I've only seen theatrical dance 2 times as an adult. There was music and film visuals mixed in. All modern, made me think, and it was different than what I usually see. Then we met up with her boyfriend, and they ordered a really fucked up pizza that had tons of creamy buffalo wing sauce on it. Was intense.
Crazy ass Buffalo chicken saucey pizza w/ Doug and Sloan

- Performed Standup at Legion Bar in East Williamsburg.
Thanks to the very funny Abe Jellinek for booking me on his new show. I didn't know what to expect since it was such an odd location, but the turnout was awesome and I had a very fun night. Props to Ian and Christina, and Gina and Eric for coming to the show!

- Went to Les Savy Fav show - had a grrrreat time and very much fun! I don't know too much Les Savy Fav but I heard it's always a really fun show so I had to check it out. The rumor is true. We mooshed around in the mosh pit and experienced the delights of frontman Tim Harrington. - honorable mention to opener Francis and the Lights - don't like their music but the lead singer impressed everyone with his weird killer dance moves
Photos from the show
You can see Adam and me in the upper right corner of this picture


- Celebrated Christy's 30'th bday at Inoteca. Finally had gut busted so hard that I am committed to eating even healthier! Was cheating and pizzaing more often than I should. Not something I want to be a part of my unemployed lifestyle.
Christy's Bday at Inoteca!  (sorry bout the weird red eye reduction)

- New Bruno movie is almost here!
- Trent discusses ticket scalpers
- World's most beautiful Arby's coming to BKLYN
- I like me some Cursive (live on Letterman) - my favorite song of theirs: Sink to the Beat
- Sasha Frere-Jones: The last three "guitar heroes" I saw were women: Marnie Stern, Kaki King, and Marissa Paternoster of the the Screaming Females.


Also, Adam was ripped out of my Gossip Girl Spoofs and placed in a new one on College Humor! Watch an old lady make out with him!

STREET MEAT IS TONIGHT PLEASE DO COME!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Up early and my mind is full of noise

somebody please help me out of my brains.



- you can listen to New Silversun Pickups song

older Silversun Pickups (vid directed by Joaquin Phoenix)



brains are panko crusted just like wendy's filet of fishes

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Been so darn angsty lately

why oh why?
CAUSE I CAN'T STAND BEING UNEMPLOYED
oh that.
and I'm aging/raging against the dying of the light
all these marriages and engagements of dear friends make me feel half happy to wear cute dresses and eat cakes and witness young love in bloom, and half WTF I'm closer to death

The sun warmed the earth enough that I enjoyed not one but two walks across the Williamsburg Bridge this weekend.

Saturday night I was a guest on the Gossip Girl Summit 4. Here are photos by Maryanne Ventrice.



I like me some Woz.

On Monday I helped with a new Wainy Days video. Had the privilege of watching David Wain direct. He's an actor/director/writer. I have certain difficulties doing this when I make my own videos, and this is the first time I've watched a seasoned professional work in all 3 roles at once. It was great!
- I've learned my lesson all too well not to listen to the voices of everyone around you. On the last video I shot I KNEW I wasn't happy with a take, but all these people around me were like "It's great!" No. It wasn't what I wanted, and the video didn't turn out the way I wanted. I doubted myself and wasn't firm enough. I was too worried about not being a bitch that I compromised my work. That's no good.
- David is really good about saying exactly what he wants without being a dick. He politely communicates to others on the set who have ideas that he wants to do something a certain way.
- They all respect him, and he's earned it. That does help. I just have to be firm, direct, and confident to command respect in this way.
- I worked with an actor in videos a while back who I no longer work with. He eroded my confidence when directing him because he didn't respect my direction, always wanting to do it his own way, always "knowing better." I thought maybe it was my fault. But it really wasn't me, it was him, being a dick. Unfortunate, eh?

I ate a sea urchin this weekend

It was CREAAAMMMY.


Handsome Furs "I'm Confused" from Sarah Marcus on Vimeo.
Handsome Furs video that includes black ooze spitting. Makes me wanna direct my own music video. Hey musicians ... want my visual concepts on your sounds?

SHOWS - yesterday I performed Monoscene at UCB and will also be doing that the next 2 tuesday nights - mark your calendars! 2 shows left, and we will be drinking at the St Pattys show.
Tomorrow - I'm doing at show at 9pm, Standup, Legion Bar - Williamsburg.

I have been TWITTING OFF SOME TWITTERS man. Came late to this party but I'm taking shots.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Watchmen review



The Watchmen is an example of fantastic movie making - many successes with few shortcomings.
Successes:
- Soundtrack -The music selection was playful, intelligent, and ripe. Respects nostalgia much like the Forrest Gump Soundtrack
- Acting - JEH as Rorschach, Patrick Wilson stood out most. Ensemble cast was strong. Great casting, Comedian also really well cast.
- Captured so many moving elements of the book, characters faithfully represented for the most part
- Great job recreating the 80s
- Was successful at doing what the book sought to do by creating a real emotional nerve, relating the story to humanity and current events
- The sex and violence were well done, some gratuitous boobies, but also Patrick Wilson's wonderful ass and Dr Manhattan's awesome nuclear penis. Of course he's uncut. You wouldn't circumcise a nuclear man now would you.

Flaws:
- Biggest flaw - tried to capture too much in too little time - Should have been a 2 part movie like Kill Bill.
- WTC towers did not look realistic - anyone who has actually seen them would know the difference
- A lot was left out, but most notably - Rorschach's scene with the psychiatrist is much more in depth and amazing in the book
- Ozymandias was too sinister and suspect. In the book he is kinder and gentler. His kindness is important to the story.

Either way I was inspired by the masterful effort and creativity thrown into this project. Terminator Salvation also looks great. We are also getting some amazing new albums in 2009. Perhaps the bad economy is just what we needed to conquer the mediocrity epidemic of the past few years. Yes there has been greatness in the past years - but also a general malaise that needs some shredding.

Reading both the book and seeing the movie (in IMAX if possible) are highly recommended.

time to go see Watchmen in IMAX and get my sensory perceptors stimulated

I'm twittering now. I never wanted to twitter before for a couple of reasons. 1 - I don't want people knowing what I'm doing when I'm doing it. 2 - Had no need for it. I already blog - that's enough, right?

But that's not the way these things go. When social media websites become popular, they carve out a niche need for people and develop into new behaviors and ways of interacting. I'm getting into it.

- Cool "dreadful times" tee costs 64 DOLLARS.

- From the awesome Vanity Fair Comedy's New Legends Feature:


- America - land of opportunity!

- On Tuesday I had way more fun than expected performing in Mono Y Mono - an improv show at UCB theatre I'm doing the month of March. Reserve tickets to next week's show! Come early to Harold night and they let you stick around for our show for free.

- Yesterday I lifted with no problemo a mattress and box spring up 6 flights of stairs. I felt powerful and fit. Anybody got any more mattresses they want to move up a 6 story walkup? I'm your girl.

What's more interesting about this story is that Dan wheeled his queen sized mattress on a dolly from 34th street (and bwy) to Kenmare Street (and Mott). That's over 40 blocks. lol

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

A taste of the New Sonic Youth album

download Sonic Youth - Eternal (montage)



Article from Seth Colter Walls/Newsweek

Also, enjoy this beautiful single from Bat For Lashes with Scott Walker:


Last but certainly not least -

NIN: Wish live with Ben & Greg from The Dillinger Escape Plan - Adelaide, 2.28.09 [HD] from Nine Inch Nails on Vimeo.

When Trent Reznor plays, he plays his guts out.

New Terminator Salvation Trailer



Trailer combines two of my most personal most favorite things:
- Nine Inch Nails
- Terminator movie

Also has these things which I like oh so very much
- Christian Bale
- Sam Worthington
- explosions and robots

And it looks like it will good all around.

BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
McG is directing it. He directed Charlie's Angels. And he calls himself McG. I ... I don't understand. Can it still be good? I liked Terminator 3 even though it was an abomination compared to Terminators 1 and 2. I'm sure I'm going to explode outta my pants in the theatre either way.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Photoshop FAIL FAIL FAIL click with caution
I don't want to see Rachel Ray like that. All women aren't meant to be that way. And I don't trust her sauce anymore.
RELATED from failblog:
- Bike Owner Fail
- Price Tag Placement Fail

MUST WATCH




"Crossbreed kittens are genetically engineered to fuck shit up"

(thanks wolkin)

I did this stuff and liked it:
- Bought fresh, affordable home made pasta and cheese at the dairy and pasta makers (next door to each other) on Grand Street and Mulberry. More affordable specialty ingredients than Whole Foods, much better for olives.

- Saw Grizzly Bear with the Brooklyn Philharmonic at BAM. I nominate Grizzly Bear as band with most beautiful vocals.

- Had a brunch that defines the word "lovely" with homemade items and great people.

- Performed at Santos Party House hosted by Andrew WK. Andrew has to be one of the nicest entertainers out there. Up there with Jack McBrayer. Pleasant as heck gosh darnit!



Nelson Mandela for Pro-Active - one of the creators of this video is named Caitlin Tegart. She is in my improv show tomorrow at UCB theatre- after Harold night. Get tickets!

---
PERSONAL CHALLENGE
must not resent the success of talentless jerks
not productive
not helpful
awfully frustrating
easy to let happen when you are in your room alone.
is the root of anger issues.