Friday, April 24, 2009

New friends

I've been living in the NYC area since 2003. That's 6 years. And I'm 27. In addition, lots of friends from my past have moved here because NYC is awesome. I go out a lot and perform on stages, providing ample opportunity to meet new people. I have the luxury of knowing many great individuals - and I'm thankful for it. I don't take it for granted and like to show appreciation to those close to me when I can.

Even though I'm unemployed, I'm still a comedian trying to do a million different projects. This city offers countless wonderful things to enjoy. My time means so much to me, and I'm not doing "nothing" ever. If anything it's a very purposeful nothing. If I can squeeze an ounce of free time out, who am I going to give it to? Family, because there's ever-present guilt that I don't spend enough time with them.

I don't think I'm better than people.
Or too good for them.
Nor do I want to hurt their feelings.

But I almost never want to spend time with someone new.

I don't know what to do when someone new asks to hang out - or someone who isn't already an important part of my life.
Sure, I do make time for new friends here and there, but often these are folks with whom I've struck a strong chord of interest - or who I've hung out with before and we had a great time.

And I'm in a relationship - forget it! That takes tons of time and I really enjoy that time - and he has friends, and they matter to me too!

I generally don't like being asked to give one of my nights to someone new. I don't like feeling like a total asshole because I just don't want to cross off a day on my calendar. I want days alone too.

But part of me always feels like a dick about it.

There are so many people in my life that I'm so excited about. I want to give them time.

They all deserve more than I can give. And I get pissed when people don't understand this.

Then again, I'll be in LA from June 15-22, and I sure hope the people out there that I kind of know totally want to hang.

Fucking hummus FUCK! (thanks eliot glazer)

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