Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Los People I Met

I met some amazing individuals on my trip to LA. During my time I stayed a night with Tracey DeMarzo (who is an excellent chef) and Rick Shapiro, and most of the time with my college buddy- actor/comedian Andy Ostroff. My NYC friend Allegra hosted a brunch gathering, and there were NYC comedians on just about every show out there! I bumped into the likes of Greg Barris, Roger Hailes, Joe Mande, Nick Kroll, Fred Armisen, Andre DuBouchet, Joselyn Hughes, Rory Scovel, Todd Levin, Paul Scheer, Jack McBrayer ... and more? Everywhere I turned there were friendly NYC comedy faces.

Here's a couple of the people I met who were LA folks and they blew me away.

Angela Trimbur
Is this writer/performer my West Coast comedy soulmate? I met her backstage at Comedy Death Ray on a Tuesday night and asked if it would be too sexy to wear heels for this show (I went with flats) and then I discovered her shared love for Portishead and then, well, now I'm a big fan. Here's a short she made on Funny or Die:

Greg Hahn
at first I didn't know what to think when we witnessed his manic gestures and insane energy. But then he went on and blew us away. This man is fucking unique and spectacular and youtube videos barely do him justice.

Oh and a gratuitous bikini pic of Allegra in her very own fantastic backyard. Because she's just stunning.

Special thanks to Val Mayers, Scott Aukerman, Denver Smith, Josh and Josh, Greg Barris, George Earth, Erik Tait, Ed Galvez, Ron Lynch, and the UCB Theatre for having me on your shows! You were all so freakin great to meet and perform with.

And speaking of Rick Shapiro is having a big comedy blowout next week, and I'll be opening for him at the Gotham Comedy Club Wednesday June 8th, get tickets now!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Los Celebrities

I saw a lot of stars in Hollywood and now I'm one too but in a metaphysical sense. That's so meta, right!?

Here's some of the stars I met and the pictures I took of them:
Seeing the stars on Hollywood Blvd
VANESSA HUDGENS! omg right? Such unbelievable talent in one remarkable young woman. She looks surprisingly 2D and waterproof in person.

L Ron Hubbard
L RON HUBBARD! He is quiet yet formidable and his face is made of bronze. For some reason after 2 hours of staring into his eyes, my butt started to leak. I found this inspiring and so I became a scientologist.

I also met Fred Armisen's fiance - who is none other than Elizabeth Moss from Mad Men. I didn't take her picture because I felt it was wrong to use my modern day technology on a woman who is, in my heart, from a fairy tale land of really hot abusive men who wear sexy pants all the time. Unless the day comes where we make eggs benedict together and talk about our first kiss, I'm going to objectify her as Peggy forever and ever.

I also FINALLY got to meet Charlene Yi, as I'm a major bigtime fan of hers, and I got to perform on the same show with at the Tomorrow Show at Steve Allen Theatre in Hollywood. That was an awfully special show, highly recommended to LA folk.

And there were some comedy greats who made me get really dorky, I mean really dorky - as in when I asked to take the picture I blushed and made excuses and felt like a fucking tourist, but nonetheless BLAM
3 out 4 UCBers oooh.
Matt Besser, Matt Walsh, and Ian Roberts

And ME with Tom Lennon AKA Dangle from Reno 911 and you know, all this other stuff I love! (THE STATE)
Tom Lennon!  At Comedy Death Day Tues evening
We performed on the same show and posed with purposeful hints of discomfort together, woahhhh!

Los Dangerous

My parents kept telling me to watch out for danger in Los Angeles. My mom said that there's a lot of sleazy comedy clubs, which her imagination told her would be full of seedy guys doing lots of drugs while people watch comedy. My dad said there would be show biz bad guys waiting to snatch me up and make me a star, but instead of giving me a record deal, they would force me into horrible B movies. Well not exactly, but my parents urged me to be careful and told me repeatedly how dangerous Los Angeles is. I come from the quaint little town of Manhattan in New York City, so I suppose mom and dad thought I'd be ill prepared.

THEY WERE RIGHT! Los Angeles was a cesspool of horror.
Here are some of the terrors I experienced:
ACTUAL LIZARD BEASTS! I just wanted to enjoy the scenic dessert view from Runyon Canyon Park of morning smog pillows, and low and behold, it's full to the brim with ravenous bloodthirsty rattle snakes! I didn't see any but they probably numbed my brains so that I think I'm fine and I'm also probably dead and this is an illusion.

In N Out Burger on Sunset is a scary place
I also went to the famed In and Out Burger on the Sunset Strip. There were a lot of grody looking treetards lurching around there, salivating at the chance to stuff milkshakes and grizzly meats down their mouth pipes.

Transformer attacking Hollywood blvd
My butt blew straight out. A TRANSFORMER casually walking across Hollywood Boulevard! As soon as I saw it I rose to the occasion to become a hero and get laid so I went around rescuing everyone. My adrenaline rush kicked in and I managed to grab 3 people and push them into The Gap, tucking them behind some new limited edition Alexander Wang khakis.

My parents were right. Los Angeles is not safe at all. The worst thing is it tricks you with its flowers, sunny weather, friendly people, and cleanliness. There were watermelon and avocado salads lurking around every corner just waiting for me to fall prey to their succulence, which is bad because they were surely all poisoned.
I should have written this as soon as I got off the plane.
Then it would be fresh. I'd still have LA rainbow sprinkles on me.

Now I've been back in NYC and allowed gotham to seep into my pores and bring me down to earth again. But last week I floated high above the clouds in the city of angels.

I went to LA specifically to scope out their comedy scene and introduce myself, as a comedian, to LA. 9 shows in 7 days! It was a standup comedy intensive. I've never immersed myself in so much standup in such little time - and I've never been more productive as far as improving my act, writing new material, and feeling inspired.

The shows went very well, the crowds were incredible, and they were loving and into it.

I love you New York, because we are made of the same flesh and bone. Our blood types are compatible and that's important. But my mind is lost again in your fuzzy constant motion. I am reunited with that which I cannot be without for too long, and I've already sunk into your gorgeous shadowy depths.

And now, I shall post different posts with photos and words!

Quickly now

some things you ought to know:
- An excellent E Card courtesy of Michael Showalter

- Free outdoor summer movies in NYC

You should know more about:
- Robert Goulet

"Widely circulated stories of Elvis Presley blasting his televisions with a shotgun whenever Goulet appeared were, in fact, confirmed by those who were close to the superstar. Goulet, himself, was aware of Presley's pistol-packing critique, and took the matter with good humor."

- A cat called Pretty Boy

- Underdog lady Suzanne Muldowney (a.k.a. "Underdog") is a performance artist best known for her appearances on The Howard Stern Show to discuss and perform her dance interpretation of the cartoon character Underdog.

- A Message From the Average Black Person

Friday, June 26, 2009

busy bee

I'm alive! And I plan to blog about some things but have been unable to due to excessive busy-ness.

BUT I have some fun things to share with you! SIT TIGHT PLS PLS PLS

Monday, June 22, 2009

VIDEO: Stand Up at Comedy Death Ray

Here's some video from a quick 5 minute set I did in LA as a guest on Comedy Death Ray:

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

by the way

While in LA I'll be Twittering, probably not full-on plumply developed blogger blogging, but woah that mobile updating! It's the tops

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Shows Update

So, aside from Friday's birthday show at Cake Shop in NYC, I'm doing a week of shows in LA, with 2 new dates just added - including the very special Comedy Death Ray! Woo hoo :)

Monday June 15 - Talk Show at Hyperion Tavern 10pm

Tuesday June 16th - Standup @ D+D's Joke Center
Standup @ Comedy Death Ray at UCB Theatre LA

Weds June 17 - Standup @ Punk House

Sat June 20 - Standup @ The Bar Show, 9:30pm
Standup @ Midnight - The Tomorrow Show with Ron Lynch 4773 Hollywood Blvd., LA, CA 90027. tickets here

Sun June 21 - Hosting Street Meat @ UCB LA 6pm (right before Assscat!) w/ special guests Matt Besser, Nick Kroll, Walsh Brothers, Josh Fadem, Val Myers, and Rick Shapiro

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Octopus and squids

Really like to eat these lately

- The Hangover
Great cast, great premise, lots of fun - but not nearly as fun or well written as an Apatow movie. Could have been so much better with a premise like this. Overtly woman-hating in an ugly way at times - sigh, why must it be this way! Jokes should have been more subtle and not so damn easy, but there were some moments I was really into. Also, Galifianakis is at his best when he's more subtle as well, and he didn't have to be written as such a retarded individual.


- NIN at Garden State Arts Center
Street Sweeper Social Club was one of the worst things ever and I can't believe Trent would be ok with them especially after criticizing chris cornell for his shitty new music with Timbaland. SSSC was straight out of late 90s rap rock collabs and manufactured for top 40 teenage tastes. The fact that they covered Paper Planes was insanely too unoriginal. Lead singer seemed like he was cast by a VH1 reality show. BARF

As for NIN - Am a big fan and saw 2 shows before. Trent was completely different this time because he just seemed so happy. He put plenty of effort into performance (not into the visuals sadly) but it seemed impossible for him to connect to any of the darker lyrics from his old songs. His energy was great as usual, but he just came off as a really happy, healthy rockstar who's just putting on a good show. Only songs I really got into were Head like a Hole and Mr Self Destruct - and made sure to head bang around because hey, it's the end of something I loved so much from my youth. Too bad no mosh pits.

Makes sense that this is his "last tour" - he has taste and sense enough to know he's grown out of his "edge." Now he's gonna go make babies and drink lemonades instead of whatever fun drug and anger cocktails he was enjoying in the late 90s.

Not into Janes. That Perry is a weird fella. Oh and Dave Novarro had some pretttty stupid things on his nipples. Dude can play his instrument though.

Also, I do appreciate the Garden State Arts Center, it's just lovely!

- Lichens with Lee Ranaldo
Was terribly pleasant.

By the way, you can buy the music of Charles Manson on iTunes, or presumably anywhere.


Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Some old videos I never showed you before

I never really got permission to show them. The creators of the Adult Swim show "Fat Guy Stuck in Internet" asked me and a couple of other video makers to make a bunch of promos for their new tv show. They were supposed to be aired on Adult Swim and on their site - but that never happened.

Anyhow, I wrote these 2 quick promos, featuring Sam Brown from Whitest Kids U Know, and myself. Shot by Dan Zimmer and Edited by Ed Mundy.

Watch Promo 1

Watch Promo 2

knowledges: existential floral crisis

Stopped to smell the roses but the roses HAD NO SMELL.

IE throws a surprise Wedding Reception - see my Street Meat co-host Rob Lathan as the best man!

Circulatory System - "Overjoyed" (MP3) good on first listen track

Midtown Lunch
- "Finding Lunch in the Food Wasteland that is Midtown Manhattan"

I want this fancy umbrella. Really though, I think it's inappropriate to desire such a thing.

Let's file that under Things I Would By If I Was Employed (employed I say, not filthy rich).
What else?
- Erica Weiner Jewelery
- In God We Trust Necklaces and Socks
- Mario Bedescu facial and things in bottles
- Items from Miomia
- This lovely seafoam green storage bench
- Tasting menus and Omakase menus
- Rooibos Vanilla tea. not expensive but must not buy unnecessary teas when I already have teas.

- Melissa Plastic Dreams from Brazil

Um ok time to stop teasing my bunny balls with these fineries and time to tend to my knitting and child rearing.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

VOTE - Williamsburg Birthday with Mom

We are going to go to my friend's dress shop Mandate of Heaven in Williamsburg, and then get dinner.

Mom hasn't been to Williamsburg before- and I've narrowed the list down to these restaurants:

Sweetwater - pretty, good food, garden, location, haven't tried it yet

Walter Foods - pretty, a favorite of mine, garden

Marlow and Sons - also lovely, a true gem, location is ok, have been many times though

Dumont - the place that everyone says to go, location isn't nice but it's near the shop, I've never been

Juliette - location is great, rooftop garden overlooking Bedford st


Monday, June 01, 2009

I don't have any idea who I am or what I'm doing anymore.

Because I'm about to be ... about to. And am not what I once was.
But then again
how can I not be myself?

Life keeps happening and happening hard.
But I can't seem to control tomorrows at the moment.

I've recently relinquished a great deal of control over my own life.
Some of it has been relinquished for me.

28 years old.
Well, in a couple of days.
And I never said all of this was a bad thing. It's only terrible sometimes. And it's always a privilege. (that I didn't ask for)

off falling
falling type movement

Street Meat Los Angeles

Street Meat's coming to LA for just 1 night!!!
like MATT BESSER of the original UCB

and more - I'll tell you more about more, but I gotta go water my baby BRB