Friday, July 31, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Wow ok so it's been a while.

I'm all exhausted and "spreading myself thin" lately so I've neglected you sweet and important blog machine.

What been me for up to doing?
- Been tortured by a nightmare succubus hose beast psycho roommate who has been terrorizing my life along with my 2 roommates lives. Trying to deal with her shit and make away without having too much money damages.
- Been having lots and lots of things going on at the same time!
- My Dutch relatives are in town all month (mostly August) - I've never had all my Dutch relatives here at once so this is kind of a big deal and makes me really happy they are here.
- Must watch 50 movies from a specific list for film school before it starts. This is realllly time consuming! So far my favorite film watched was "The Killing" from Kubrick - fantastic!!! I was also really into "Be With Me"

A couple fun things that happened recently:
- shot a video with LA comedian Angela Trimbur (to be edited this month)
- saw Abe Vigoda and Grooms (liked Grooms!) play free live show at the Whitney, and then had a drink at the famed Bemelmen's bar at the Hotel Carlyle (you know, the place where Woody Allen plays clarinet with his Jazz Band)
- Went to 2 Williamsburg Pool Parties - the free shows at the lovely Brooklyn waterfront with live music, a great view, and lots of youngsters
- Got NUTS at a Bachellorette party in Atlantic City which may have been the most fun I've had in a long time. Great evidence of this can be found on my twitter and my flickr, yo.
- fell down the stairs outside with slippery wet ground and flip flops. legs and arm hurt a bit. head is ok. also left my wallet in a friend's car while home and am walletless. bah humbug
- Had a grand ol time with my boyfriend's momma, who took us to the River Cafe and ordered fancy drinks and foods like a champion, which unfortunately I could barely handle and got a 5 star hangover. It hurt so good.

In the meantime I liked these things:
- Sextortion: crazy story, skim it though it's very long.
- Trent Reznor's very practical advice for bands, and his opinion on the record industry and how much should be made
- Old time beauty ads

Are you new here?
Why are we here anyways?
Who are you?
I'm a comedian, you can see my upcoming performances and videos here.

And finally, here's a graphic that a NJ law website uses for "divorce":

lady- NNNNooooo don't touch my baby's head! You never did the dishes you jerkoff!

dude- But honey I swear she was over 18!!

lady - It hurts it hurts.

dude - I'll make it better I swear! I'll get those calf implants you always wanted me to get!

lady - omg!

dude - I love you.

lady - I need you.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

today someone who I thought was a good comedian said I was a terrible comedian

and I was not meant to hear it
but I did.

He knew I heard it and apologized. I feel that it's ok. It was bitchy and unnecessary but he's entitled to think that. He said he wasn't even that familiar with my comedy and I shouldn't take it to heart. Maybe that's the truth, but maybe he honestly felt my comedy was terrible. And that's still ok. Here's something I wrote in response to an interview about comedy that was never published:

Being a comedian is about failing and you won't be a good comedian if you are afraid to fail. Every time you get on stage you should give enough and try enough that there's the possibility of rejection and failure. Don't waste the time of your audience by giving them nothing. Work hard, put effort into your performances, experiment so that you can find something original. The only thing interesting is your original voice, and don't give the world something that they could hear out of someone else's mouth. The only way to find that voice is by taking yourself to uncomfortable places once in a while.

In my first stand up shows I read nervously off a piece of paper and knew it sucked but also knew I had to suck it up and get past my own shittiness if I wanted to progress.

Being told you are terrible by a talented peer is your worst nightmare in putting yourself out there, but it's also ok.

I think there's a lot to gain in life from failure, mostly in those moments where you are trying and exploring, not hiding and playing it safe.

I'm taking a lot of time and care to find what is not terrible inside me. My comic voice is always in development. If I'm not good enough yet, that's ok. I don't believe I'm terrible, but I do believe I can do better. And I'll always be working on that.

been pretty stressed out and busy

and it's just terrible to go so long on this blog with no comment so I at least have to share this:

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The State is out on DVD

I forgot to tell you why this is so important and wonderful.

The State was a sketch comedy tv show on MTV in the 90s. It was vastly influential in the way that modern American sketch comedy is made, especially video, and it has influenced the style of the entire modern indie comedy scene. Their tone and style is in the vain of modern greats like Zach Galifianakis - who is the same age and was performing at the time the State was on air, though he is most popular today. The State is to comedy video, as The Upright Citizens Brigade are to improv (without a school). Both have important peers and predecessors but their reach, identity, following, relevancy and tone have the same powerful impact.

The original castmembers/writers are all famous today, and you have probably seen them in movies and tv (such as Wet Hot American Summer, Reno 911, Wainy Days, Stella). They have a comedy career that is the stuff of fantasy - collaborating with whoever they want, including their friends most of the time, and successfully creating great pieces of work in countless formats, from plays, to live shows, tv, movies, books and music. The amount of freedom they have is extremely unusual, and they manage to both have a cult-like fan following, and fly under the radar and lead modest lives at the same time.

What they created was good, often "edgy" and truly spoke to comedy's great ability to highlight the nuances of our silly lives. Some of their stuff may seem outdated, but that's because it was copied so many times. As influential as they are, it's amazing how young they still are - it's all so current, but creative culture progresses so exponentially - as we are well aware considering information technology - hense their ability to be so influential in such short time.

In 1996 when I was a sophomore in high school, I went into the city to a book signing in Union Square for the State's hilarious book (one of my most prized possessions). The entire cast was there and when asked what they were up to, they mentioned that they had a live show called Stella at Fez. From that point on I'd see this show every year. I'd bring groups of friends when we came home from college for winter and thanksgiving breaks. It was there that I saw many famous and amazing comedians perform in a small little room and I knew exactly what I wanted out of life.

I want to find, develop, and share my comedic voice - and hopefully end up with a comedy career unique to my strengths - and am able to get whatever is valuable in there out of me. The State, and all of the castmembers work after the show, has inspired me more greatly and specifically than anyone else's work.

Here is a video that I made with Kevin Allison, one of the cast members of the State:

And here is a State Sketch:

Here's some exerpts from the TV SQUAD review:

Frustrated fans and even members of the show's cast have been clamoring for Viacom and company to sign off on a DVD box set of MTV's most under-appreciated show The State. Miles of red tape and nearsighted executives prevented any ounce of hope from shining through the dark void the show left on television. MTV's new five disc set for release on Tuesday, news we broke back in April, has corrected the mistake and earned everyone responsible for its hold-up some karma points for their crimes against hilarity.


The State box set, however, keeps their hardcore and extremely patient fans in mind the most. The first thing you'll see when you unwrap the plastic and slide the plastic cases out of the cardboard is a note from the cast explaining their involvement in the development of the box set and some of the changes that had to be made due to licensing and copyright issues. It's one of many personal touches and tweaks that make
it clear everyone involved had the most dedicated fan in mind while they were re-recording dialogue on a Barry and Levon sketch or blurring a trademarked image in a detailed back-drop.


It is the first DVD box set in recent memory that puts its fans ahead of fiscal concerns or financial constraints. If you've been praying to see The State go to DVD in your lifetime, prepare a goat sacrifice to thank God for heeding your call.

The State DVD is out FINALLY (and my life is not my own boo hoo!)

The past few months of unemployment have tossed me into a spiral of overwhelming, exhausting, discomforting feelings. Such as

Oh wait. Delete. Just wrote some of them here and I can't possibly share this with other humans. It was complaints, anxieties. It's not something I would want to read. Essentially I feel a loss of control over my life as I live in a very cheap space in some undesirable conditions, and I'm completely freaked out at the amount of student loans I'm about to take out. It places me so darn far away from being a property owner. I want that. I want I want ... I want to be. Complain, cry, shove off, go in the corner.

Ok so that's me in the corner. Losing my sense of self, or at least what I've known me to be. Old declarations about what I do and the way I live are thrown out the window because circumstance is defining me. Unemployment and a relationship. A relationship! I'm in one of those. And you have to compromise and do things that they like to do. Gross and revolting indeed. But a relationship has rewards as does unemployment's vast jarring rippedy rip apart from the life you had.

And did I mention how exhausting it is to have free time? I'm too obsessed what I'd like out of life, and I spend maddening hours trying to take all possibilities from the ether and realize them into livable forms.

It's also exhausting that one of my 3 roommates is batshit crazy and it's quite stressful to live with. She is supposed to be leaving this month, but when I say batshit crazy I mean throwing knives, screaming and yelling every day, threatening, bullemic, for some reason thinks my food is her food and gets angry when I eat it, tells people she has cancer when she doesn't, deals her prescription drugs, brings home weirdos, leaves shit on the stove at 3am and lets it catch fire ... and she owns 2 cats who make lots of pee and poops and even though it's in her room, it's toxic. But my patio is great and I have a lovely herb garden.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

New Show Dates

You can see me on these fine shows this summer:
- Weds 7/8 9pm @ Gotham Comedy Club, opening for Rick Shapiro
- Sun 7/19 7:30pm @ The Comedians - Pianos 158 Ludlow Street
- Tues 7/21 7:30pm @ AUCTION! comedy show @ ochis/comix (not standup)
- Tues 7/28 9pm @ Sweet! at the Slipper Room, corner of Orchard and Stanton

- Sun 8/9 8pm @ The Comedy Studio in Harvard Square
- Mon 8/10 8pm @ Underground Comedy at Cantab Lounge 738 Massachusetts Ave
- Tues 8/11 9:30pm @ The Rob Crean Show - O’Briens, corner of Harvard and Cambridge, 3 Harvard Ave
- Weds 8/19 8pm @ Topsham Pantsuit Wednesday in Park Slope @ Pacific Standard 4th Ave. b/w St. Marks and Bergen
STREET MEAT in NYC at Cake Shop!
- Mon 8/24 8pm - hey that's the show that I co-host with Rob Lathan!


And now here's THESE!

From the guy who did "the TREE"

A Movie Trailer

I <3 Charlene Yi (as a comedian)

And one of the best interviews I've ever seen

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Benefit for Jon Wiley

Jon Wiley is a great dude and local musician without health insurance. He was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and has incurred a $30,000 medical bill. Please help!

Come to the benefit show tomorrow or donate via paypal here.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

and then: deep inside the New York flavor

Last night the wonderful Jessica Delfino invited me to join in the Monday night comedy mike at Bowery Poetry club. First show in NYC since the LA trip - and it was so so very NYC! With the Bowery Hotel and John Varvatos in CBGB, old Bowery may seem to have died out. But Bowery Poetry Club keeps that pulse beating with the unique NYC pulse that characterized Bowery for so long. There's less homeless people and junkies around - but there's still many people who are out of their fucking mind and willing to commit and give their all on that stage in their own special way, mixed in with some real and great comedians. Though I was in the company of comedians I already love like Jordan Carlos, Jena Friedman and street performer/kung foo/spiritual advisor Master Lee - I made new discoveries, such as the delightful comic storyteller Shane Webb. I didn't mention the names of the freak show party time folks that were there - just meet them yourself and go!

One note about Delfino - she's just so comfortable in her skin. So confident, honest, always in the moment, and unapologetic. Something I need to work on because I still feel a sense of apology for who I am - and a definite fear when it comes to being "too much" of whatever I am. Anyhow, Delfino's confidence perfectly compliments her sharpness and wit, as well as her true love for the bizarre.

Do you know what it's like to be a person who puts herself in the spotlight? Maybe you are such a person. If not, it's a crazy thing. The spotlight is not natural light. It's not me, myself, in front of you, having a conversation, connecting personally. I'm performing for you, and sharing a completely different part of my self. And then I stop and become immersed in the natural self. Some people are "on all the time" and are performing when they are off stage. Some people can easily access their natural selves on stage. The dichotomy of self as performer and neutral self engaging in the world is something I've not figured out for my own self - but I'd like to access the realer parts of me on stage, which I think comes with time. I also feel that maturing and growing older has allowed me to take down my defenses and not be "performing" in my personal life, which is something I did more of in my high school years, back when I used acting silly as a shield when I wasn't comfortable "being real." The apology finds it's way to the surface today, as I often don't have any clue how to be in certain situations, and in such uncertainty I think I have a chance at really being born.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Have a good weekend!

Here's a silly old 4th of July video tribute I made a couple years ago with Adam Newman and Oren Brimer: