Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The only reparation I would accept is for Gavin McInnes to be pooped on.

There's this man named Gavin McInnes and he co-founded Vice, a media monster which I like sometimes.  Vice employs a lot of people and it's likely that Gavin has money and power after his Vice success and he says things.  As we all know, not all people with money and power are also good people.  In this case, Gavin McInnes just shit out of his mouth in a really big way, and so now I have one simple demand:

GAVIN MCINNES MUST BE POOPED ON.

Here's how it should go down:
1.  Sit Gavin in front of a camera.  He loves the camera so this part he will be all about.  He might say some smug ironic things that make us think he's super cool.  But don't be distracted.  It's POOPING TIME!!!

2.  Poop on him.  Anything goes here as far as getting the poop onto Gavin.  If you feel comfortable popping a squat and pooping out of your butt onto him, that's totally cool.  If that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to bring your own poo in some kind of container, human or find some dog poo, that will work too.  Runny is good because it will have maximum spread.  Gross but we are goal oriented here, and the goal is to cover Gavin McInnes in poop.

3.  Gavin says "I'm sorry!"  He probably won't say I'm sorry because inside of his mind is a mess of stuff like dogs sucking each other off and what cheese he is gonna buy at the Bedford Cheese shop to provide for his family.  It's really hard for him to get past those thoughts enough to form meaningful phrases and then say them.  BUT if he does say "I'm sorry!" while being pooped on, it would help us all to heal from his hurtful words.


Here's what he said and why he needs to be pooped on:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/21/gavin-mcinnes-women-workplace_n_4138741.html

OF COURSE I have an argument about why what he said is wrong and hurtful.  I have inner strength, toughness, and ambition in life beyond STAYING AT FUCKING HOME AND DOING WHAT?  PUTTING MOISTURIZING LOTION ON MYSELF AND SHIT?  What the fuck am I supposed to do at home?!

Women are naturally TOUGH AS FUCK.  Have you even ever MET women?

NEVERMIND GAVIN YOU ARE RIGHT, LET'S SEND ALL THOSE MISERABLE WOMEN HOME FROM WORK.  HERE'S A PARTIAL LIST OF WOMEN WHO SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME:
- Amy Poehler
- Hedy Lamarr
- Sarah Silverman
- Lucille Ball
- Hillary Clinton
- Diana Nyad
- Oprah
- Martha Stewart
- Debbie Harry
- Kim Gordon
- Frida Kahlo
- Carol Bartz

MY MOM.
MY AWESOME MOM who CANNOT STAND the idea of not working because she likes to leave the house and be a part of the world and is smart and hardworking.

DAMMIT GAVIN WHY
WHY WHY WHY

You fucker - you don't know what it's like to be told just based on your demographic that you naturally suck at something.  YES IT IS DAMN HARDER IN THIS WORLD FOR US WOMYN FOLK.  THERE IS NO "CHOICE" WHERE YOU JUST TURN OFF YOUR BRAIN AND WANT TO STAY HOME AND MAKE TACOS AND PUT IN YOUR TAMPONS.

NEWS:  Women have minds and hearts n shit like that.  We have desires and ambition.  We have inner drive and passion to use and apply those things.  We are ALSO human beings JUST LIKE YOU WITH THE PENIS.

Gavin please allow me the opportunity to show you how tough and how driven I really am.

GAVIN MCINNES MUST BE POOPED ON.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gavin will never get laid again. By a woman, that is. Maybe a donkey or someone he has to pay for the service who hasn't met the dude before (because if you met him before, you'd pay HIM to go away). But no woman with any slice of self worth will fuck that guy.

Matt said...

Word

Anonymous said...

"You fucker - you don't know what it's like to be told just based on your demographic that you naturally suck at something. "

Men are told they suck at stuff because they are men all the time. I don't know what rock you have been living under. BTW I find your article disgusting. You're just another foul mouth whiner who get's off by lashing out at people. You think social justice is an excuse to play bully and it's not. Learn some civility and treat people with the same respect you expect. Gavin could use a lesson in that as well but it won't be coming from you.

Heather Fink said...

I am speaking in a manner that can be churned about in Gavin's uber hipster brain. I shall not speak to him like a news anchor. I am not a news anchor.

Anonymous says "Men are told they suck at stuff because they are men all the time."

RIGHT ON. THAT'S MADE THINGS VERY HARD FOR YOU, EH? WOMEN TAKING YOUR JOBS AND RAPING YOU?! RIGHT! MAN THAT'S SO HARD FOR YOU!!!

Anonymous said...

This video might get you to re-think your post a tad...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvkZqJjk-go

Anonymous said...

Can I shit on u?

Anonymous said...

Women are naturally TOUGH AS FUCK. Have you even ever MET women?

LOL! Thanks, I needed that.

Anonymous said...

Ya missed the point, here this will help.

http://streetcarnage.com/blog/girl-power/

Heather Fink said...

I didn't miss the point. Gavin shouldn't be saying the garbage he is saying. IT ALSO SHOULDN'T TAKE EXTRA RESEARCH TO FIGURE OUT SOME OTHER MEANING/EXCUSE FOR HIS WORDS. He's fueling insane bullshit ideas that make life a bit more shitty and painful for women. WHY.

As for the making babies part of the discussion - sure I'd like to make one some day, but if I'm neither rich enough nor in a relationship with someone whose sperm I want in my egg - then it's not really a choice! Maybe maybe someday I'll get to make that choice but I'm not just standing around going "hmmm baby or career, marriage or career ... hmmmm gender identity"

Olivia Kiernan said...

You did miss the point you vapid, obtuse clown. He is not attacking you or people like you. He is not saying don't follow your dreams. He is saying quit trivializing childbirth/being a mother and demonizing staying home and raising your own damn kids instead of letting some minimum waged slob who doesn't give a shit about them raise them.

Now we are at the point in contemporary society where women who don't want to work or don't have the luxury of enjoying a fulfilling career (um, like most men.... most people hate working. We are not talking doctors, lawyers, CEO types, actors, artists, etc. here. We are talking AVERAGE people with dumb jobs they do to get by.) have to work either because these days it takes two meager incomes to scrap by, or they're guilt tripped into working thanks to nonsensical expectations.

I am a stay at home mom (to a 4-MONTH OLD). Every time someone with 2/3 of my IQ, 10 years on me and no kids learns this, s/he pauses for a sec and says "Nothing wrong with that!" and ignores me from there on out. I want to punch them in the fucking face.

Heather Fink said...

Olivia Kiernan!!! Come on now hon, ya called me a "vapid, obtuse clown" let's not.
Olivia Kiernan - I once took a clown class in college and it was fun. I am obtuse, yes. SO OBTUSE. LOOK HOW OBTUSE. Also vapid. Super vapid. SMART OLIVIA GETS A BISCUIT!!!!

I think that if someone hates their career and doesn't want to work, that's an issue that pertains to both men and women.

Everyone makes different choices, you want to be a stay at home mom - ok - that's your life, I can't tell you how to live it an I don't want to tell you how either. I'm sure you know how to make the best decisions for you.

I didn't miss the point. If women don't like working in crappy jobs, that just means they are suffering the same consequence as any human being who works and are a part of the general free population. Freedom doesn't equal bliss, it just equals choice.

You have the CHOICE to be what you are, and I have the choice to be what I am too without judgement.

But still, I'd like to say that I have a problem with what GAVIN said. You can interpret it however you like, but I'm writing what I'm writing based on the shit that came out of his mouth. You can go ahead and write something on your blog about how you feel. FREEDOM!