Monday, November 03, 2014

So we're judging 7 year olds now.

I read the Lena Dunham stuff.

Her sister stuffing pebbles in her lady parts certainly made me think, ouch, what?  Because at that age I certainly never poked around there and the middle hole was absolutely not open for business.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the thing was sealed shut.  Inserting a tampon was dang near impossible at 13 (which I've heard is common) so I have no idea how anyone would shove pebbles in there as a little girl.  However, I'm not going to judge her for doing so.  And I'm not going to judge Lena for any of her weird curiosity and interest in her sister's sexuality either.

Why?

Because children are weird little perverts by design.  We don't really know anything about sex.  And we are curious about it.  

We may be taught not be mean, not to be violent, but messages about sex are confusing.

When I was little, there was a neighbor boy who stole porno mags from the dumpster behind the convenience store.  We might have been about 8 years old, I have no idea.  He used to show the magazines to me and other kids, and on 2 occasions we went outside and he asked me to pose like the girls in the magazines, which I did in my underwear, and on another occasion we decided to "have sex."

So me and the boy went in my closet, got naked, and stood next to each other in silence.  That was all we could figure out.

Then my mom found us and we were in trouble and it was incredibly embarrassing.

In 4th grade I found some VHS nudie movies and watched them and shared them with my friends.  And then I started drawing explicit images of people having sex  - imitating a lot of the hyper sexualized images that exist everywhere.  I actually remember emulating a ridiculously sexual looking woman in a comic book, as they are drawn that way.  My teacher found them and had a "talk with my parents" about it.  Thanks teach.

And when I was younger, no idea what age, I remember making Barbie and Ken engage in some hot and heavy activity and my sister calling me out on it.

You remember those moments vividly because embarrassment lasts.  It's tied in with confusion and fear, but also learning, and discovery.

Yep, Lena Dunham's story with her sister sounds pretty weird, but sex is weird, and so is being a kid.

Shut your crazy little mouth if you want to judge the sexual weirdness of a 7 year old.

I actually don't think you should judge children at all.

Discipline them, teach them sure - but judge?
Get your noses out of the celeb gossip and start remembering that being a human is complicated.
You friggin trolls, the whole lot of you!



UPDATE:

I've been rethinking my feelings about this, since it was ADULT Lena that chose to write about her sister's sexuality in this way, and unless the sister consented to that, something does feel wrong about it.  I would hope that she did and that she hasn't scarred her.  Uffff.  

Why Lena why would you share that?  What do you like about these memories?

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